Disclaimer: I don't own the Power Rangers. So don't try to buy them from me. Please don't get all offended because I mocked your favorite Ranger. I try to mock them all. Besides, it's just for fun. I really do enjoy the show :). 'Hi" to all from AFPR…especially my fellow Psychos. Please let me know if I make any errors. I have no difficulty with receiving constructive criticism. Thanks to Joe Rovang and SirStack for their Writer's Guide to the Power Rangers Universe which I rely on a lot.

If you haven't done so, please read the first fifty stories in "When Rangers Meet." Thanks.

This is story number thirty-two. Enjoy :).

Kai and Carter

By

Eileen (Psycho Tangerine)

"Ow!" cried Kai as he banged his elbow on an unfamiliar counter. He had taken over the main kitchen in Mariner Bay to make the dinner in celebration of his team's and the Lightspeed Rangers' final defeat of Trakeenah. Sure, the chefs had protested being shoved and locked out of the kitchen. Sure, the Lightspeeders and Captain Mitchell had begged him to let the chefs do their jobs. Even his own teammates had joined in begging him. What kidders. But, he had to show them just what a great cook he was.

Unfortunately, the kitchen was much bigger than what he had been used to on Terra Venture. He was so busy chopping up bean curd on one side of the kitchen, that he didn't even notice the black smoke emanating from the oven on the other side.

Whack, whack, whack, whack, whack! The locked kitchen door fell to pieces. A fully uniformed Carter ran in with a fire hose.

"Knock that off!" hissed Kai. "You'll flatten my soufflé."

"I think it's way past flattening," retorted Carter as he ran toward the oven. He was jerked to a stop as he ran out of hose. "Not again!" he cried. He yanked at it one more time and the cheap material fell apart in his hands "Of all the things for the captain to cut the budget on."

Kai slammed the knife down with a growl. "I said 'quiet!'" he continued to hiss. "You'll flatten my…" it was then that he noticed the thick smoke. "My soufflé!" He cried. He grabbed some oven mitts, ran to the oven, threw it open and yanked out the burning mess. "Oh, uh, I mean, I do believe my newest gourmet dish, charcoaled soufflé, is ready."

Carter, who had resorted to running to the other side of the kitchen to get a glass of water, snorted. "Oh, yeah, I'm sure people will want to eat that." He then threw the glass of water onto the still smoking oven. It burst into flames.

"What the hell did you do that for?" snapped Kai as he grabbed the fire extinguisher that had been near the oven. He quickly dowsed the flames. "Every middle school kid knows you don't use water to put out a grease fire. What kind of firefighter are you?"

"I happen to be Captain Mitchell's number one man," bragged Carter. "I've had this badge ever since I was a kid. It was sent to me after he rescued me from a fire when I was seven. Not that I knew it was him until just a few months ago." Carter sighed dreamily. "He's my hero." He had even planned to convince Captain Mitchell to adopt him at one point…to become the son he never had. But then that dumb grumpy Ryan just had to show up. Too bad the demons had done only a half-assed job of brainwashing him.

"Junior Firefighter…Don't play with matches," read Kai as he squinted at the plastic badge Carter had just pointed to. "That's it? That's your badge?"

"The Captain said that it automatically upgraded once I passed his firefighting course." Carter did not want to admit that his cheapskate boss simply hadn't wanted to splurge on a real silver firefighter badge for him. No, he must never think badly of his wonderful hero.

Kai shrugged then looked at the clock. "I'm late! Only an hour till dinner and I'm still not done with the entrée." He paused for a second. "Oh, I knew I forgot something." He went to the freezer and pull out a frozen pot roast and a frozen chicken.

Carter smiled. "Aw, too bad, those will never thaw out on time. Guess we'll just have to skip the special dinner and order out for pizza instead."

Kai stared at him. "Don't you have a cat in a tree to rescue or something?" He grabbed the frozen meat and shoved them each into a toaster oven. "This should warm them up quick."

"Wait!" exclaimed Carter as Kai flicked on both machines.

Two seconds later, both toaster ovens were sizzling and smoking. "Hmmm," mumbled Kai who was mixing up a marinade. "Guess I should've taken the wrappings off first."

"Fire!" screamed Carter. He grabbed his axe and ran towards the now-flaming ovens. "I'll chop those flames away!" He lifted up his axe, and the head fell off and landed on his shoulder. "Damn cheap ass!" cursed Carter as he grabbed his shoulder in pain. "Why can't he cut the budget from something else? Like Kelsey's skating arena? Or Chad's water park? Or Joel's cowboy hats? Or Ryan agoraphobia therapy? Or Dana's payoffs to the medical certificate board? Or this ridiculously humongous kitchen?"

As Carter ranted, Kai grabbed the fire extinguisher again and put out this fire as well. "Good thing I brought a supply of these."

"Oh, why didn't I think of that?" asked Carter lamely.

"Because you're a lousy firefighter," commented Kai as he began searching in the cabinets for something.

"No I'm not," grumbled Carter. "I'm the best fire fighter ever. Captain Mitchell said so." He tasted the marinade. "Ew! What is this? Slime of fungus?"

"It just needs something more." Kai pulled out a bottle of ketchup in triumph. "The cure-all for all foods."

Carter gaped as Kai poured half the bottle in. "Great now it's ketchup flavored fungus." As Kai continued to mix his marinade, Carter grabbed a bowl. Then he grabbed some items from the refrigerator and spice rack. "Here, try this," he told Kai three minutes later.

Kai tasted it. "Not bad. No, actually it's good. It's very good. It's…" he suddenly broke out in tears. "No fair! Now I don't have any special talents to show off like the others do! Now they'll never like me! Now I'll never get Kendrix away from that idiot, Leo!" Ever since they had become Rangers, Kai had been bothered by his lack of a special talent. Damon could fix things. Kendrix was a science whiz. Maya could talk to animals. Mike was simply a superb leader. Leo could get all the girls. Karone could go from bitchy to kind and back again in less than two seconds.

"Well, we tend to do a lot of our own cooking in the firehouse," observed Carter.

"I'll bet you do most of it," sniped Kai.

"Hey, thanks."

"Because I sure wouldn't let you go out firefighting if I were them," he finished.

"Oh really?" retorted Carter. "Well, I happen to be a better cook than you. I'm surprised you even know how to turn the stove on."

"Well, I'm surprised you know how to use a fire extinguisher…oh wait, you don't!"

"Sure I do!" yelled Carter as he stomped over to where yet another fire extinguisher was located. "Like this!" He sprayed Kai full force.

"Hey!" sputtered the foam-covered Blue Galaxy Ranger. Kai grabbed the pot of marinade he had been mixing and dumped it on Carter's head.

Carter grabbed his own marinade and dumped it on Kai's head.

Kai grabbed a fourth extinguisher and sprayed foam all over the Red Lightspeed Ranger.

And so the rest of the evening went, with food and fire extinguishers spraying all around the kitchen. And the other Rangers simply decided to give up on waiting for dinner and order pizza instead