Hey everyone! Sorry this took so long!
I'm going to get right down to business because this is the first of two chapters that'll be up tonight. I had originally been writing one chapter, but as it normally happens, my ideas kinda got out of hand, and one simple scene with Sanji and Usopp became a good third of the chapter, which turned out to be around 12,000 words long. Holy crap. Oh yeah, and there's no Haunted House yet. Oops...
I didn't want to split it up cause I wanted a balance of SanUso and ZoLu in each chapter, but twelve-freakin-thousand words is a lot to read. So in the end I split it. There's a big Sanji & Usopp scene in this one. I say Sanji & Usopp because it's not really SanUso. Some Usopp angsting and arguing, but not really much SanUso in my opinion. Oh well! It'll get here eventually.
And to those of you wonderful wonderful people who are getting ready to kill me for not updating Stealth, I promise that there'll be an update by the end of the following weekend. I have to finish this because it's obviously not Halloween anymore, post my Zoro B-day oneshot, and write my thanksgiving fic too! Keep an eye out for a lot of updates from me over the vacation!
Well, that said, on with the review responses! Thanks to everyone reading this fic, and even more thanks to those who left comments!
To Anime-Dudette: Hahaha! It would probably be easier to find if I updated on a more regular basis. (scolds self) I'm so glad that you liked the SanUso! I regard you as the go-to gal regarding that pairing. If you have any pointers or suggestions whatsoever, please please PLEASE, tell me! Thanks for the review! And here's your update!
To Quatrina Raberba: Thank you very much! I'm glad you like it! Thanks for the review and I hope you like this chapter just as much!
To WhiteTigress666: XD I'm so glad you liked that idea! To be honest, the onion idea was an idea I had for a fic that had nothing at all to do with halloween, but then I saw a jack-o-lantern and I was like. Hm... There's a nice tangent... And the Zoro-Sense. hehehe Glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for the review!
To Jess: Thank you! Characterization is a big concern of mine, so it means a lot that you feel that way! Well I'm gonna hug you whether or not you hug this story! (big hug!) Thanks a lot for the review!
To Digitaldreamer: I pictured Luffy not having the patience or the attention span to do that himself XD. It's like carving a pumpkin! No one really wants to dig out all the slimy pumpkin guts, but they have to in order to carve the thing! I'm so glad you're enjoying it! Hope you like this chapter too! Thanks for the review!
To Macabre Love: Yay! A ZoLu and a SanUso fan! Sweet! I'm so glad you like it so far! Thanks for the review!
Noriko Sakuma: Hey there! Thanks againfor welcoming me to dA! I'm so glad you're liking this so far. Hope you enjoy this installment just as much if not more! Thanks for the review!
To Griever5: Hehehe, yes, the poor guy's teetering on the edge of insanity. I'm glad you liked the ZoLu and the SanUso! Glad you like it! Thanks for the comments!
To The Plushie Bandit: (BIG HUG!) I love your reviews so much! Hehehe, go ahead and enslave me! I'd rather be a forced fanfic writer than a student any day! I'm so glad you liked bot the pairings. It means a lot that people enjoy them! XD Don't even JOKE like that! I would so join the ranks of those people! I loved the newest chapter! I mean, if you can't tell by my review. Hehehe. Actually I live in NY. I kinda lied about the break thing. Well, not really lied... What I mean is that my school runs on a three quarter system instead of the two semesters that normal colleges do. I had finals week this week, which I consider vacation cause I'm not in school all day, and I have ACTUAL vacation the week of thanksgiving. And yay for mammoth reviews! We both write them, we both love them, so it all works out in the end. An AlibisDragon club? hehehe!
And I have one review to address from And One for Good Luck...
To Kira: I'm sorry you feel that way. While I see where you're coming from, I based my characterization on the fact that everyone has their weak moments. Thanks for being honest!
And on with the story! Hope you enjoy it!
Warnings: Just some language. And very VERY vague yaoi for this chapter. It's ZoLu and SanUso people!
Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece!
It's the Onions
Chapter 2: Mama Sanji Knows Best
Once the room had fallen into an uneasy quiet, the sniper and the cook had made good progress tidying the captain's mess. In less than an hour they'd managed to pick up every piece of food and scrub the galley clean.
Dragging his wrist across his forehead, Usopp straightened from where he'd been hunched over scouring the kitchen table. "There!" He tossed the damp rag he'd been using into sink. "Done!" He announced happily, grinning at their accomplishment.
"Really?" The chef piped up from behind the fridge. "That didn't take nearly as long as I'd expected." Wiping his hands on his pant legs, he moved to stand at the marksman's shoulder.
Offering his companion a fond smile, Sanji clapped the younger pirate on the back. "Thanks, Usopp! Couldn't have done it without you."
Positively beaming at the praise, the sharpshooter's posture noticeably lifted. The boy puffed out his chest as he ducked his head, making a weak attempt at looking modest.
The love cook held back a laugh at his friend's antics. "Well, I guess that's it..." His tone unexpectedly slowed with distraction, the blonde having noticed the slope of Usopp's waist as he posed proudly. "...then."
'His hip looks awfully lonely...'
As much as he wanted to avoid the denial he knew he had come to expect from the liar, Sanji wasn't about to let his anxiety prevent him from trying.
The chef definitely wasn't used to hostile dismissals such as the liar's, and though he had not yet gained a handle on them, he was no quitter. 'Maybe if I just...'
Scrutinizing their efficient work, the long-nose nodded to himself. "You know, I think the galley looks even better than it did befo-"
Choking mid-sentence, the smaller pirate needed a few moments to confirm that, yes, there was a hand on his side, and yes, that it did indeed belong to Sanji. His earlier blush flared again, and his eyebrow twitched.
The almost undetectable pressure on his hip became more solid as the chef settled one arm around his waist.
"Won't you let me thank you properly?" The blonde, encouraged now that his companion hadn't pushed him away yet, tightened his hold. 'Is he really going to let me..?'
Completely livid, the sniper was so startled and so embarrassed that his reaction was delayed. When he finally recovered, he twisted to face his crewmate.
Fists clenched, he whirled around to deliver a scathing blow to the chef's lady's-man attitude, and almost faltered when he saw the hopeful expression on the man's face.
He did sway, however, when Nami chose that moment to enter the kitchen.
In a display of reflexes that Usopp hadn't even known he possessed, the marksman continued the momentum of his spin and wrenched himself out of his comrade's hold; stomping irritably away to drop onto one of the benches that flanked the table.
"Sanji? Are you-" Stepping through the doorway, the navigator paused, sniffing the air. "Why does it smell like a produce stand in here?"
Feeling defeated but not at all surprised, Sanji turned halfheartedly to greet the young woman with a smile. "Ah, Nami-san! It's a long story. I wouldn't want to hinder your presence with the details."
Nodding slightly, the redhead smirked. "Let me guess. Luffy?" She wondered aloud, raising an eyebrow and looking to the chef for confirmation.
"Right as always!" The blonde spouted, his previous disappointment fading as he fawned over her. "Nami-swan is so perceptive," he sighed to himself. "But I suppose if you really want to know what happened, Usopp could turn it into quite a tale."
The sniper looked back over his shoulder, shooting the cook a heated glare from where he sat; still seething over his crewmate's actions. 'Just leave me alone.'
The chef tilted his head as he watched the sharpshooter. One corner of his mouth twitched upward and his blue eyes narrowed slightly as if he was daring the younger pirate to say something.
If it had been any other person that had walked through the door, the long-nose would have been in Sanji's face faster than you could blink. But Nami...
What was he supposed to say? Keep your groping hands to yourself you oversexed bastard? He had a feeling that the woman wouldn't just let the conversation drop after a comment like that.
Becoming increasingly irritable under the intensity of the older man's gaze, the marksman turned hastily away with a huff. Crossing his arms, he dropped his eyes to the tabletop. Why did Sanji have to be so... so frustrating?
One day several weeks ago, something had changed. The cook still gushed over women, but there was something different about his manner. It was like he'd lost focus; like his mind wasn't really there and his heart wasn't in it.
He always seemed distracted, and if Usopp was unfortunate enough to be standing in the area, somehow the chef's eyes were always drawn to him. This was especially noticeable when the man was busy flattering Nami.
But his attention to women hadn't been the only change. The more concerning, if not puzzling switch had been regarding the sniper himself.
Now the love cook seemed to go out of his way to pass by his fellow crewmate. Though when seeking out the long-nose, it was rarely for anything pleasant... By Usopp's standards anyway.
Sometimes he'd have small, tedious jobs for the younger teen to do, and others he'd pull some teasing stunt simply to make the marksman uncomfortable.
These encounters would range anywhere from a suggestive compliment to a fleeting touch, and never failed to throw his thoughts into total disarray.
...But the blonde was only teasing... right?
He didn't know whether to feel insulted, flattered, confused, or a combination of those three and more.
More often than not, the chef's appearance meant that whatever the marksman was currently doing was going to be disrupted in some way.
The man would screw up his count, mess with his measurements, or gift him with an undeserved kick (or poke, or shove, or pinch, or...).
Damage done, he would simply move on as if the entire incident had never occurred.
But the blonde's worst, and to the sniper's dismay most common practice, was to seat himself somewhere near the liar and thus, make the smaller boy incredibly edgy.
He didn't really do anything... He just sat there. Sometimes he'd light a cigarette, but that was the greatest extent of his movement. He'd just sit completely still. And stare...
Usopp knew this, of course, because he was always too busy watching his comrade out of the corner of his eye to concentrate on his work.
Oh yes, the change had been subtle, but it was undeniably there.
It reminded the sharpshooter of childhood. If one kid was picked on by another, it was sometimes the sign of a crush. But they were adults now. Well, kind of...
But wrestling, food fights, and tattletaling aside, they were supposed to deal with things in a mature, reasonable fashion...
Alright, so they weren't very mature in any sense of the word. Or reasonable for that matter... But if all that was true, that could mean that the chef really did... He couldn't actually... Could he?
The liar sighed, slumping against the table until his head was pillowed on his arms. He had discovered his attraction to the blonde months ago.
Somehow, it hadn't surprised him at all. If anything, what shocked him the most was how little it alarmed him. Even now he still couldn't understand what his feelings were based on.
He had brushed it off as easily as any other passing notion. 'I think I've fallen for Sanji. Huh. I wonder when that happened... Now where did I put that Sodium Chloride?'
Admitting it to himself had helped quell any anxieties that he had been having, and for a while he'd barely even thought about it. Nothing had changed at all until the first time Sanji had accidentally brushed one hand across his hair.
After dwelling on this new idea for a while, he almost began praying that this was only an infatuation, something that would pass. He liked things that were simple... and safe...
But his interest had persisted, and it still plagued him to this very day. Those feelings were taxing, nearly to the point of becoming painful because of the seeming impossibility.
Comfortable. That's what he had become with the idea. He'd been fine with how things had been. Sanji could keep flirting, he'd keep inventing, and they'd get on with their journey.
It was a plan and it worked. He could handle the plan. Emotional suffering had nothing to do with it.
Stories of unrequited love were simply that. Stories.
...Right?
He'd become as accustomed to that idea as he had with being afraid. He was frightened by all manner of things, and he knew it. Everyone knew it.
But this... the fact that the chef might actually return his feelings... He'd never felt such all-consuming panic.
It scared the hell out of him.
It was Halloween, and what frightened him the most wasn't a vampire, or a monster, or a ghost... It was change. A change in the group he'd grown so fond of. For better or worse, he didn't know.
With an inaudible groan, the long-nose buried his face in his arms. If only Sanji was a little less audacious, a little more sincere, he'd be able to put this angst behind him.
The cook frowned. He'd been observing the liar in the midst of his conversation with Nami, and the boy's preoccupied demeanor worried him. 'What's got him so upset?'
The navigator was slightly put off when she noticed she didn't have Sanji's rapt attention. He wasn't nearly as enthralled by her presence as he normally was. Well, she could fix that.
"Oh, Sanji-kun?" She called sweetly, flashing the man a winning smile when he instantly returned his focus to her.
"Yes, my queen? How may I serve you? A drink, perhaps?" Leaning uncomfortably close to the redhead, he clasped his hands in eager anticipation.
Averting her face slightly, she peered coyly up at him. "Some lunch?" She ventured hopefully.
"Ah, of course!" He spouted happily, moving towards the stove. "What would you like? Just name it!"
"Surprise me." Sidling her way over to the counter, Nami began rifling through what little contents were left in the cabinets. "Although you may have a tough time of it."
Pausing in his reach to preheat the oven, the blonde blinked in confusion. "What? Why?"
Standing again, the young woman straightened her skirt before speaking. "It doesn't look like we've got much of anything left."
Shaking his head, the chef frowned. "That can't be right. I stocked plenty of the basics as always." Although they were more or less out of fruits and vegetables now... "We must have some pasta somewhere."
The navigator made a sound that the cook took as a negative. "Luffy took that to use as worms or something."
Startled by this news, he abandoned the stove to begin shoveling through the cupboards himself. "Well, then we must have some meat left."
Nami gave a sarcastic laugh. "This is Luffy we're talking about."
Sighing, the young man nodded. "Ah yes, our bottomless pit of a captain..." He broke his speech long enough to shuffle on his knees over to the next cabinet. "Eggs?" He questioned warily.
"He finished those during breakfast."
Becoming desperate, the blonde tore through the adjacent cupboard. "Flour? I could bake something..."
"He hoarded that away. Said it'd look spooky or something."
"Ah! Where's my cooking wine?"
Sighing in exasperation, the young woman was lost in thought for a moment. "Oh, he used that to-"
"Wait, let me guess. Fake blood, right?"
"Of course." The navigator settled herself against the table, idly inspecting her fingernails. "Oh, and he ran off with all of the emergency candles."
Nodding absently in response, Sanji raked a frantic hand through his hair. How had the rubber-man managed to get all of that out of the kitchen? He'd barely left the galley for more than five minutes since he'd woken up! There had to be something left!
"Bread!" The chef suddenly burst, getting to his feet.
Visibly startled, Nami stared at him oddly. "What?"
"Bread!" He repeated, pacing around the kitchen. "We have bread left, right?"
"Usopp finished it a little while ago."
Aiming a betrayed expression at the marksman, the blonde threw his hands upward in defeat. "You too? What'd you use it for? To make little ghosts?" He wiggled his fingers in a manner that was probably supposed to indicate something frightening. "Did you make it into a monster or something?" He accused angrily.
Lifting his head from the table, the sharpshooter scowled furiously back. "I made a sandwich!" He cried in defense, rising to sit more comfortably in his seat.
Rolling his eyes, the cook stepped over to the fridge. "Maybe there's something in here," he suggested absently, not speaking to anyone in particular as he pulled open the door. "Hmm..." Lifting his gaze, whatever he was about to say next was lost to the strangled shout that flew from his lips.
Both the redhead and the long-nose jumped to their feet as the cook shied backwards in surprise; so startled that he tripped over his own feet and landed flat on his back.
"Sanji?" Nami cried, one hand rising to cover her mouth as she fought to stifle her laughter. "What is it?"
Recovering slowly, Sanji pressed a fist over his racing heart. "That," he began, pointing angrily at the still open icebox. "Is why it smells like a produce cart." Closing his eyes with a groan, he slouched back to the floor.
The young woman peered cautiously into the refrigerator; wary after the blonde's reaction. "Are those-?"
"Jack-o-lanterns," Sanji finished, not moving to stand just yet.
Those fucking fruits and vegetables had been waiting for him...
And just why had Usopp arranged them all facing outward? Being welcomed to the fridge by countless faces must have taken at least ten years off the end of his life. Gritting his teeth, his expression creased into a scowl. "Usopp!" He bellowed.
Having left the table, the sniper approached the still prone form of the older pirate with great care after hearing the rage sharpening the man's tone. Stopping beside his companion's left shoulder, he crossed his arms, grimacing at the unpleasant smell of the onions. "What?"
"Why the hell did you put those in the fridge?"
Still studying the interior of the cooler, the navigator quirked a brow at the hundreds of empty eyes that answered her stare. "So that's why there was so much free space in the storage room. Luffy certainly was busy." She mused quietly, stepping carefully around the chef on her way to the door.
Face now settled in a full-blown glare, the liar had a very Sanji-like urge to kick the blonde upside the head. "You told me to put them in there!" He was on the floor after all... "So they wouldn't go bad yet!"
"Do you always do what you're told?"
"What does that have to do with anything?"
"Never mind. Just stop screeching. You're giving me a headache."
"You started it!"
With that the sniper slammed the fridge door shut and turned on his heel; stalking back to his earlier seat. 'How did they all wind up facing that way? I know I didn't do that...'
Nami chuckled quietly. Watching those two bicker never failed to amuse her. "I hate to interrupt, but I guess we don't have a choice. We'll have to dock at the next island we come to and re-supply."
With a nod, the love cook gave a dejected sigh as he finally levered himself upright. "I suppose it can't be helped." Moving to settle himself across the table from Usopp, he slumped over; shocked at how exhausted he felt when it was barely noon.
Shrugging slightly, the redhead paused in the doorway. "The weather system seems to have stabilized, so we should be nearing land anytime now. Judging from the temperature I'd say it's an island with an autumn climate."
Beaming at the young woman as she turned to leave, the chef nodded. "That's good to hear. Maybe I'll be able to find a pumpkin for Luffy to carve so we can get rid of those stupid vegetables."
Laughing briefly, Nami waved distractedly. "Well, I'll leave you to it, Sanji. I'm sure you'll work something out for lunch."
After the door had closed, Sanji let out a groan. "Right. Lunch. We have almost no food, and I'm supposed to make lunch for everyone on board." He braced himself to stand again, but faltered when he heard a loud sniffle off to his right.
Turning towards the sound, he was met with the image of the marksman hurriedly brushing away tears. "Usopp?" Noticeably startled, his voice was laced with concern. "Usopp, what's wrong?"
"It's just the-"
"You're not crying because I was angry, are you?" Now anxious, the blonde all but lunged at his friend from across the tabletop. Rushing to wipe the tears from the smaller pirate's eyes, he quickly murmured an unwarranted apology. "I didn't mean to-"
Slapping the cook's hand away, the sniper growled. "It's the onions!" He spat, hoping to stay his fellow crewmate. "They're making my eyes water."
"...Oh." Relieved, the cook recoiled at the boy's harsh swat. He sank back into his seat, watching the boy scrub at his damp eyes with his fingertips.
Blinking rapidly, the younger teen paused to see if he'd managed to stem the flow of tears. After a moment, he was almost certain that the onion-induced sting had subsided.
Nodding in satisfaction, the sniper rubbed away one last tear. "There. All go-" But when a pulsing burn suddenly swept over his eyes, his voice died off in a keening wail.
Alarmed by his companion's pained shout, Sanji was beside the marksman instantly. "Usopp?" Taking the boy by the shoulder, his eyes raked over his comrade's form. "What is it now?"
Clenching his eyelids shut, the smaller pirate whined again. "My eye's are burning! It hurts!" He began scrubbing furiously at his eyes, trying to combat the throbbing ache.
"I'm gonna go blind!" He howled in panic, feeling even more tears slip down his face when the biting sting intensified.
"Blind?" The chef echoed frantically. What on earth was going on? One minute he's complaining about the onions and the next he's... 'Wait... that's it!'
Prying one of the sniper's hands away from his face, the blonde bent over and raised the teen's fingertips to his nose. Inhaling slowly, the older of the two found what he had been expecting.
The sharpshooter's hands smelled heavily of onions, which wasn't a surprise because the entire room had the same offensive scent. The problem was that the liar had brought those fingers, which were covered in the chemical that caused the vegetable's tearing reaction, in contact with his eyes.
"Usopp! Stop rubbing your eyes! You've got onion all over your hands." Gritting his teeth when his companion tried to fight him off, the chef started fumbling for the boy's free hand. "You're making it worse!"
"I don't care!" Struggling to evade the blonde's grasping hand, the sniper twisted fiercely against the hold already trapping his right wrist. "Let go! It hurts!" Thrashing harder, the long-nose nearly overturned the table.
"Look, I'm trying to help," the cook insisted urgently, fighting to keep his voice level. "But if you keep jerking around like that I'll have to hold you down."
He paused, dwelling on what he had just said, before lowering his voice suggestively as he slid his one hand up the boy's arm. "On second thought, keep going."
Sanji grinned despite himself when his comment had the desired effect.
Flushing in embarrassment, the marksman stilled. "Just so you know..." Turning his head in what he assumed, being temporarily sightless, was the blonde's direction, he quipped angrily. "If I could see, I definitely would have smacked you for that."
Tolerant laughter filled the now quiet room. "I know."
Taking advantage of the teen's momentary hesitation, the cook looped an arm around the boy's torso and hoisted him up beneath his right arm. 'This way you can't touch keep scrubbing at your eyes.'
With a strange squeak, Usopp found himself being lifted from his seat and carried across the room. Too stunned to react even to the constant pain searing behind his eyelids, he sagged uncomfortably sideways in the cook's snug hold.
Trudging with uneven steps over to the counter, Sanji quickly tugged a dishcloth from a drawer and soaked it in cold water from the tap.
Hefting the awkward load higher against his hip, he turned and made his way back to the table; settling his friend back into his earlier seat.
Finding himself returned to an upright position, Usopp tried to give his companion an odd look. "What was that all about?"
"I had to keep you from scrubbing at your eyes," the chef defended, at last releasing the marksman's hands.
The instant he was free, the sniper went straight for his eyes again, biting his lip in irritation.
"See?" Catching the boy's fingers with his own, the older pirate clucked his tongue in disapproval. "Leave your eyes alone," he scolded. "Don't think I'll hesitate to restrain you."
Knowing the full truth behind those words, Usopp finally yielded to his crewmate's hands, albeit with great reluctance. "What are you gonna do?"
Taking the drenched washcloth from where he'd placed it on the table, the cook lifted it towards the boy's face. "This." And without warning, he slapped the sopping wet rag over the liar's eyes.
Yelping at the cold water now dripping down his cheeks, Usopp instinctively reached to tear the offending cloth away, but Sanji pressed more insistently. "Wha...?"
"Hold that there," the cook instructed, removing his hand when he was satisfied that the teen would leave the compress where it was. "It'll help ease the burning."
"Really." Sounding skeptical, the sniper frowned under his firm grip on the towel.
Seeing the younger pirate's forehead crease, the blonde knew his friend was frowning behind the folded rag. "What's wrong? Don't you..." Leaning closer, he couldn't resist lowering his lips to the boy's ear. "...trust me?"
If the alluring tone and the warm breath now playing down his neck startled him, the man's swift closure of the space between them sent him into a frenzy.
Usopp let out an odd screech at the voice suddenly right beside him, and balked sideways to restore a safe distance. But not before dealing a vicious blow to the chef's midsection.
...In reflex, of course...
With a grunt, the older teen doubled over, clutching his stomach. "What," he rasped out a cough. "the hell was that for?"
In all honesty, the love cook was incredibly lucky that the sharpshooter's blind aim hadn't been lower. Contrary to his appearance and the weapon he favored, that guy had some power behind those fists.
Still inching away, the marksman now unveiled his eyes, pleased when he found his vision restored. Having regained his sight, the first thing he did was direct a glower at the hunched form of his companion.
"You startled me!" He exclaimed, posture accusing. "What did you expect me to do? My eyes are covered, I'm completely unguarded, and suddenly you're going for my throat!"
Gradually straightening, Sanji hissed out a pained breath. Countering the younger teen's gaze with a glare of his own, he opened his mouth to speak.
He'd been about to point out that he hadn't been going for the liar's throat (though the idea did have a certain appeal...), but was forced into silence when he found himself dodging the wet cloth suddenly hurled at him.
"What are you, a vampire?" Usopp, still recoiling from his throw, settled back against the edge of the table. Though his face was stern, his mind was going in a million directions at once.
The blonde's voice had made his hair stand on end, and he lifted one hand to the back of his neck, rubbing away the prickling sensation. He could only hope that he had kept his shudder imperceptible.
The older of the two gave a sarcastic snort. "Can't be. If I were a vampire you'd be cowering somewhere below deck."
The long-nose pouted. That had been uncalled for... "I would no-" But before he could combat the angry remark, he was cut off as a warm hand cradled the base of his neck.
Not giving the sniper a chance to retreat, the love cook shifted forward, pulling a handkerchief from his pocket. Now face to face with his crewmate, and with a tenderness he had never bothered with before, he began dabbing at the moisture that still clung to the teen's darker skin.
Effectively caught, all the marksman could do was sit impossibly still from shock and curse the rosy hue he could feel spreading across his features.
The blonde felt his friend tense noticeably beneath his fingertips. Cupping one hand, he swept at the water that had made its way down the boy's throat, smirking slightly when the boy lifted his chin in response to the gesture.
He swallowed hard as the chef's long fingers stroked over his taut muscles, whimpering internally when those hands stalled momentarily as his Adam's apple bobbed as a result.
Meeting the sharpshooter's anxious gaze, Sanji forced his expression to remain impassive, instead forcing the boy to close his eyes by sweeping one thumb beneath his left lid.
Grateful for an excuse not to stare directly at the young man before him, the liar unconsciously tipped his head into the blonde's thorough fingers.
Having dealt with the last of the tears and water, Sanji let his fingers slip over the sniper's face, unimpeded by the soft fabric of the cloth. "There."
"Uh..." Startled by the warmth of skin on skin, Usopp found his eyes drawn open again, pulled to the chef's own blue ones. "S-Sanji?"
Flushed and beginning to tremble from the exertion of being so tense for so long, the smaller pirate was looking more and more endearing. And the chef just couldn't help himself.
"Usopp," he murmured, feeling the need to respond somehow. "You... You're really..."
What was he? The cook frowned in thought, but the words failed him. He was... Really... He had so much... There was...
There was something to him, that much was certain.
The marksman's lashes, still heavy with past tears, fluttered briefly over his wide eyes as the blonde's searching fingers abandoned his face for the tightly knit muscles beyond his collarbone.
CRACK!
Sanji, now flat on his back for the second time that day, held his abused chin as he grinned ruefully up at the seething form of his comrade. 'Man, he's pissed,' he mused.
"That was for earlier!" Usopp bristled, feeling quite scandalized, fists clenched and chest heaving after his outburst.
Snickering, the chef levered himself to his feet, still prodding at his sore mouth. "Oh, come now," the blonde began, jaw working experimentally. "You know you enjoyed it."
The long-nose said nothing, but his eyes narrowed dangerously. 'How? Why do I let him get under my skin like this?'
No matter how cruel, a chance to tease Usopp was far too entertaining to pass up. Though he had to admit that the lack a response on the liar's part did make his heart beat a little faster. But even so, the hesitation might not have meant a thing.
Naturally the cook began leering at his silent crewmate, laughing out loud. "See? You can't deny it."
Crossing his arms in a self-conscious manner, the sniper moved towards the door. "No, I was just shocked at how much of a bastard you are," came his flat reply.
"Oh, is that it."
"Yes. That is it," the younger pirate insisted, eyebrow twitching in annoyance. Distractedly raising a hand to his face, the boy flinched when Sanji slapped it away. "Hey!"
Frowning, the chef blocked his way to the exit. "Don't touch your eyes. We'll have to do this all over again." Fishing a cigarette from his pocket, he jerked his head towards the sink. "Go wash your hands."
"I was going to wash them in the bathroom!"
"Nope. You'll do it here, because I can't trust you to get there without messing with your eyes again." The blonde quirked an eyebrow at him, smirking. "Unless of course you'd like me to go with you."
Gritting his teeth, the sniper growled. "Do you have to be such an asshole?" He fumed.
A brief shrug. "What can I say? Being with you brings out the best in me." Chuckling, the cook reached out to swat the boy's hand again as it lifted towards his face. "See?"
"Ow! Stop it!"
"Go wash your hands."
"What are you going to do? Punish me?"
"Don't tempt me. Now go wash your hands." The chef paused, sniggering slightly at the thought of taking the sniper over his knee. "Or I'll give you one hell of a spanking."
Greatly disturbed by the image that particular thought provoked, the long-nose shuddered. "So, you're my mother now?" He prompted angrily.
Propping one hand on his hip, the blonde broke into a genuine grin. "Don't you take that tone with me young man." Raising his left arm, he thrust one finger at the kitchen sink. "Now, march!"
The Going Merry had been docked for almost forty-five minutes when Sanji, by process of elimination, had concluded that the captain had to be somewhere in the storage room.
Pausing in the doorway, the blonde took a long pull on his cigarette, trying to pick out the places where the missing rubber-man might be holed up. There were plenty of containers to hide in...
"You can come out now, Luffy," he called, moving away from the entrance. "Usopp convinced me not to kick your ass." He waited for a moment, and when no reply came, he approached the boxes lining the back wall.
Stopping beside the first crate, he tapped it with the toe of his shoe. Judging from the hollow sound that answered his kick, this one was empty.
Making his way around the room, checking behind the cargo as he went, the cook knocked on each of the boxes one by one. By the sixth container, he was beginning to debate just how thorough he had been with the rest of the ship.
Had he checked the crow's nest?
Rapidly becoming irritated, Sanji smashed his heel against the next crate and was greeted by a solid 'thunk.' Smirking, the blonde reached for the top of the box. 'Ah ha, here we go...'
Lifting the lid away from the bin revealed quite a startling sight, and the chef almost dropped the heavy wooden cover he was holding. 'Oh, yeah. I was supposed to be looking for the dumbass too...'
There, within the narrow confines of the once empty crate, lay both the captain and the first mate. Honestly, the picture of the two curled so tightly around one another, fast asleep, probably would have been what the chef would call... sweet... if it weren't... well... him.
Zoro wasn't sweet in any way, shape or form as far as Sanji was concerned. For that matter, Luffy was far too obnoxious at times to be cute.
Okay, so it wasn't sweet or cute. Not even with the exceedingly content expressions their faces had relaxed into. Or the way their heads were tucked against one another, temple to temple. Or...
Mentally slapping himself, Sanji shook shuddered at the warm feeling that had enveloped his body. 'Back to the point.'
"Oi," he began, thumping his knee against the side of the box for emphasis. "Get up. We've gotta go into town for supplies."
Scowling when the only reaction was a loud snore from the swordsman, Sanji shoved a little harder. "Wake. Up."
Still no response.
Fed up, the blonde carefully replaced the container's lid before taking a step back. He shifted experimentally from foot to foot for a moment, raising up on the balls of his feet as he got his balance.
Setting his jaw in focus, he braced his left leg. Raising the right, he rocked it back to gain momentum and power.
Snarling under his breath, he swung with all his might, delivering a brutal kick to the side of the box; the blow sending both the vessel and it's passengers skidding across the floor a good couple feet.
Two startled shouts rang from within the container, and one of its inhabitants collided harshly with the top, the wooden frame leaping upward before falling haphazardly to the floor.
One corner of the blonde's mouth rose in a smirk as the moss-head emerged first, and to the young man's further satisfaction, clutching his head.
"Shit!" Instantly on alert, the wounded man leveled a glare at the love cook. "What the hell?"
As expected, the first words out of the green haired pirate's mouth were wavering in his anger. But where was Luffy?
"Oi, Zoro," came the drowsy response. "What's up?" Two half-lidded eyes rose to peek across the older teen's shoulder and over the edge of the crate, blinking slowly at the chef. "Oh, hi Sanji."
One delicately curled eyebrow lifted at the rubber-man's unconcerned reaction to their violent wake up call. "We've been docked for nearly an hour waiting for you two to get your asses moving."
Turning his back on the blonde to collect his swords, the first mate grumbled o himself. "So you waited until now to actually send someone in after us?"
Watching his crewmate try to untangle himself from the younger boy, he snickered. "To be honest, I was looking for Luffy. Finding you too was just a stroke of bad luck."
Tossing a scowl backwards at the blonde, Zoro's eyes narrowed. "Asshole," he muttered.
Leering as he brushed off the insult, the chef charged onward. "Trust me. The last thing I wanted to do was interrupt your snuggling." Oh, he wanted so badly to laugh at the light blush that crept over the first mate's cheeks.
"Shut the hell up," the swordsman ordered, voice clipped in anger and embarrassment. Twisting to address the boy still in his lap, he gave his captain a gentle nudge. "Oi, Luffy. We've gotta get up."
His reply was a loud, wide yawn right in his face. "But I'm still sleepy," the smaller pirate whined breathily, draping himself lifelessly over his first mate's shoulder. "And you feel so good," he crooned.
As an added blow to the swordsman's dignity, the boy wriggled closer in emphasis, unaware of the many possible ways to interpret his last sentence.
'Zoro's so comfy and warm,' the rubber-man reflected fuzzily, smiling to himself as his eyes drifted closed again.
The silence that resulted from the captain's innocent claim was deafening. No one moved, no one spoke, no one even breathed. The world had ceased spinning.
That is until Sanji could no longer contain himself.
Bursting into laughter, the chef retreated to the door, using its frame to support himself as he fought to stay on his feet.
"Holy shit!" The blonde gasped, gripping his chest as he struggled to breathe. "That should sound so wrong, but god help me if that isn't the funniest thing I've ever heard!" And with that his voice collapsed again into rasping laughter.
Dropping his face to one hand, Zoro groaned. 'Why did they have to send him? Why not Usopp? He could've told everyone we were having sex and no one would've believed him!'
...Wait... Bad thought. Very bad thought.
Mentally scolding himself, the trapped pirate gave his captain a stronger push. "Come on Luffy, get up."
"Nuh-uh!" The smaller of the two, pouting at the sudden racket, protested against the more urgent prodding.
Rolling his eyes at his friend's behavior, the green haired teen cast an irritated look at his still giggling crewmate. "Well, obviously I'm not going anywhere if he won't move." Gesturing vaguely to the still form that was sprawled over his right shoulder, his brow rose as if asking for suggestions.
Finally managing to dredge up some semblance of composure, the love cook straightened and cleared his throat through one last snigger. "Don't worry. I know what'll get him up. You may want to watch your arms though. He might snap one off if you're not careful."
Gifting the chef with an odd look, the first mate's tone was baffled. "What are you talking-"
"Oi, Luffy." Cutting his comrade off, the blonde snapped his fingers and jerked his thumb out the doorway. "Lunch."
In that fraction of a moment, for once Zoro was glad that he'd listened to the princess and had drawn his arms back against his sides.
Luffy had bolted to his feet, snatching his hat from the floor of the crate and scrambling out of the box in a wild ball of flailing limbs.
"MEAT!" He shrieked, tearing from the room with an enormous grin splitting his face. "Meatmeatmeatmeatmeatmeatmeat!" And just as abruptly as the chaos had started, he was gone; out the door long before Zoro's second round of cussing had begun.
The first mate, unable to avoid at least one kick to the head, used his swords to heft himself to his feet before clambering out of the container and following Sanji, who had started chuckling all over again, out onto the deck.
"This day just keeps getting better and better."
And there you go! I hope you enjoyed this half of tonight's update! The rest should be up shortly (I hope). So I'll go get to that right now.
Thanks again to everyone who has read and supported this story!
Next time: Alright, so they haven't quite made it to the Haunted House yet. But we WILL find out what everyone's going as for Halloween! So many choices, what will Luffy pick? Something with a cape? A cool weapon? Lots of blood? A... dress?