(revised : 7.22.05)

Author's Notes: After such a terribly long time (nearly a whole year :hangs head:) I have finally gotten inspiration and rewritten this atrociously-written and horribly-organized fic previously known as Of a Betrayed Lust for Hell's Demonic Fires (even had an awful, tongue-tying name, didn't it?) under my previous penname DarkRoseBlood. Now that it is rewritten, with such a better, less-cliche plot, I'm very pleased with it. Though the prologue really hasn't changed much,most of thebasic plot does since I basically got rid of the rest of my fic, so you should go read the prologue again if you don't want to be terribly confused. Besides, it's been a year, so you've probably forgotten it by now, ne?

By the way, thanks so much to all those who read and reviewed the first version! Hope you enjoy this one too!

disclaimer: disclaim'd

pairing: SesshoumaruKagome (don't like, don't read. simple.)

warnings/notes: still a little slow, but will speed up; we finally meet sessho! and darling Rin; foreshadowing.

And to dear Evi (who always makes me get off my lazy ass and write butI still love anyway), this a little pre-birthday surprise for you! Enjoy!

Make sure you go and read the prologue first!

And without further adieu…

Mad Lust
by scelerus animus

Chapter One
White Dreams Be My Death

—

Before him lay an intense vast valley of unknown white mist and the countless treacherous that were hidden within it, and Inuyasha stared into it, seemingly transfixed, hypnotized, by the hazy white vapor. His shockingly heated amber eyes raked through the mist searching for some sign that Kagome survived the perilous fall.

He could find none. Still he gazed into the whirling haze in a ragged trance, his mind refusing to believe Kagome was gone and was never going to come back.

What the hell had she been thinking?

An eternity seemed to pass, although it was perhaps only a few minutes as he continued to gaze silently, motionlessly into the spellbinding fog, his arm still outstretched in subconscious futile hopes that he could still catch her before she plummeted into the heavy fog.

The coma-entranced hanyou was unaware of the silent unintentional tears that streamed down his face or the cold wind that suddenly whipped through the area as a noiseless figure approached him from behind his unmoving figure.

"Inuyasha," whispered a soft voice, like the wind, not noticed until it brought your life into pure chaos, as a gentle hand slowly touched his motionless form. The voice, though soft and pleasant, still held an undertone of harsh coldness of which the hanyou was unaware.

As the voice wound its way into Inuyasha's mind he abruptly broke out of his stupor and stood, albeit not as steadily as he would have liked to have seemed. The pale hand still clenched to his shoulder.

"No…" he muttered, voice on the edge of being hoarse. "It can't be."

"Are you not happy Inuyasha?" said the cold voice, digging into the hanyou's thick skull like a parasite, but fortunately—or not?—his mind did comprehend the icy words. "My reincarnation is dead, and my soul will return to me. I will be alive again. Are you not happy, Inuyasha?"

Only silence replied.

A deathly smirk appeared on pale lifeless lips.

"Why is it that you aren't pleased, Inuyasha? Was it not moments ago that you whispered in my ear that you loved me and would forever protect me?" mocked the hauntingly beautiful voice. "And you could not have protected me if she were to still be alive. But now we can live happily together for my soul shall return to me. Is that not what you wish, Inuyasha? To be with me? Moments ago you whispered to me that you could not love my reincarnation and why is that Inuyasha? Because of me, is that not the reason? But if so then why do you reach out to her as if you can still save her, Inuyasha?"

The soft voice carried soft disdain and mockery. A laughing disdain that seemed to scorn the hanyou, but Inuyasha did not hear. His mind barely began to grasp the words that flowed from the body of clay beside him.

Inuyasha wretched his shoulder out of the young woman's grasp as he started to head back into the forest. A look of anger and resentment was on his face while he walked away from the cliff trying to act if he didn't care.

Pity. If he had looked he would have noticed that Kikyou's image had wavered for a moment, becoming translucent… almost as if she wasn't real

But he didn't look. Didn't see.

"Feh," he said huffily, "it doesn't matter to me. She just held me back anyways. Stupid wench, now we have to go find the jewel shards she took with her. Damn it, stupid human had to take the jewel shards with her! Feh."

Easily ignoring the tug at his heart, the hanyou stalked further into the dense misty forest. Truly a shame, since it was a tug that ate away at his consciousness and his mind, telling him something was wrong, a tug, a prick of a pin that seemed to turn into the lethal stab of a knife as he continued to ignore it.

Later he would wish he hadn't. For something indeed was terribly, terribly wrong about the whole situation.

Almost like a dream.

Maybe a nightmare.

Like something not real.

o – O – o

When Kagome awoke, vicious slashes of what appeared to be lightening ferociously struck behind her glazed sapphire eyes while thunders of pain pounded against her skull.

At first unseeing, her oddly glazed eyes fluttered open, and she noticed the odd white spots in her vision that she could not blink away. Tiny spots of white twinkled almost, like looking at stars in the night sky, maybe just a little more apparent, larger, spots of white that felt like the entrance to oblivion.

It almost scared her for a moment, but then she quickly dispersed that silly fear, thinking it was a childish notion created by her apparent incoherency. Plus, even as she slowly sat up, the lush green forest around her still spun unnaturally, tilted on a slight axis.

Feeling an aching sensation start to awake in what seemed like every cell, Kagome discovered cruel slashes and scratches covered her normally lily-white, unblemished skin. But now crusty dried blood stained her bruised, battered flesh and distastefully caked her raven locks in huge knotted mats.

Then, with harsh abruptness, pain swelled in her head, and she would have screamed if she could find her voice. However, all that emerged was a harsh, cracked cough that took more wind out of her than a mile run usually did.

"Hey! Pretty Lady Kagome-chan's awake!" screamed an oddly familiar voice, childish, high, one that only made another spike of pain shoot through her head. Nevertheless, the innocent voice was welcomed. She could never turn down children.

As a cracked bowl of water was eagerly shoved toward her, Kagome hazily looked at the young girl who had given it to her: dark hair tied into a lopsided pony, wide brown eyes, innocence sparkling in them, a slightly dirtied orange and white kimono. Yes, after a short pause in recollecting her thoughts, Kagome distortedly recognized this girl. This sweet girl was Sesshoumaru's charge.

Wait… Sesshoumaru…?

"Oh no," gasped Kagome, but no sound emerged from her mouth, only a scratchy cough that made her throat burn.

"Ah-ah," scolded the girl though she was giggling. "Bad! Bad! Kagome-chan can't try to talk. Here, I got some water for pretty lady Kagome-chan! Drink it! Drink!"

Not being able to help but silently smile and laugh even through her fiery pain for the girls' cheerfulness in return, Kagome nodded, gratefully took the bowl, and drank.

Cool, refreshing, spring water washed down her throat, rejuvenating her body in an instant. The pain even ebbed away just a bit.

"Do you feel better now?" asked the little girl, deep brown eyes wide and curious.

"Yes," Kagome managed to rasp, "thank you."

She gently rubbed her throat as the pain flared once again; her voice was so raw as if her vocal cords had to learn how to function again. At that throat she frowned, causing the throbbing in her temple to become more pronounced. As a matter of fact, her whole entire body felt stiff and achy, not functioning properly, almost useless. Sort of like when one awakes from a something-year coma.

And those brutal, scarring injuries; Kagome could not remember ever receiving those.

Her frown deepened.

"Nee, why is Kagome-chan frowning?" the girl questioned, worry in her voice and big childish eyes. "Is she still sick? Does Kagome-chan still hurt everywhere like before? Huh? Is Kagome-chan okay?"

Pushing her thoughts aside, Kagome looked up the rather hyper girl—what was her name?—and reflexively forced a gentle smile on her pale face. "Ah, no, I'm fine, really."

This time the girl pouted cutely and stared at Kagome with that keen yet innocent gaze only a child could possess these days. "Ooh, baaad, Kagome-chan is lying! Kagome-chan shouldn't lie!"

Kagome couldn't help but chuckle softly once again. "What's your name?" Kagome lightly asked, giving the girl a kind look.

"Aww, Kagome-chan doesn't remember my name!" exclaimed the girl with a slight huff though the smile on her face told she wasn't really mad. "Bad, bad, bad! Kagome-chan's been so bad, but Rin can forgive her 'cause Kagome-chan saved Rin just like Sesshoumaru-sama!" The girl—Rin—sqeauled happily and started to twirl around the forest clearing in dizzying circles.

As Kagome watched the young girl with a smile still on her face, that dull throbbing in her head increased, and the white spots flashed before her vision, still blinding, still oblivion. And despite knowing better, Kagome could not help the small chill that shivered down her spine, almost like a small trickle of an icy liquid, a deathly poison. Those white spots, whirling white stars still felt as if they would swallow her whole.

She wanted to die.

"Kagome-chan?" called Rin, having paused in her spinning. "Kagome-chan, what's the matter?"

Sapphire eyes fluttering open once again, Kagome once again forced that smile on her pale, thin lips. "Yes, Rin, just please… don't spin right now."

"Okay." Rin nodded, still looking at Kagome with her child-like worry. "Does Kagome-chan need anything?"

"Actually," Kagome said, her gaze sweeping over her surroundings again, "could you tell me where we are?"

"In a forest," Rin replied cheerfully, now rocking back and forth on the heels of her feet.

"But, I mean, how did I get here?" Kagome asked patiently. Rin was still a child after all. And who in their right mind could be mad at this adorable little girl? Apparently not even the feared Lord of the Western Lands.

"Oh, Kagome-chan came with Sesshoumaru-sama and Rin and Jaken after Sesshoumaru-sama and Kagome-chan saved Rin!" the girl answered excitedly before rushing over and suddenly hugging Kagome tightly.

Even though pain suddenly coursed through her weary bones like white-hot fire, Kagome could not help but feel touched. "But doesn't that mean… Sesshoumaru brought me here?"

"Yup!" answered Rin, letting go of Kagome. "Ooh, does Kagome-chan like flowers 'cause Rin wants to go pick some flowers for Kagome-chan 'cause Kagome-chan can't go pick some 'cause Sesshoumaru-sama said Kagome-chan can't get up even when she wakes up, not for awhile!"

"Okay, okay," Kagome said, laughing lightly. This child—innocent, spirited—shouldn't need to feel the burden of her inquiries. "But one more question: what do you mean I saved you… along with Sesshoumaru?"

"Ooh, Kagome-chan and Sesshoumaru-sama saved me from the evil youkai who kidnapped me, of course!" Rin cheered gleefully, already running across the clearing to pick some gorgeous blue blossoms from a nearby bush.

Staring after the girl, Kagome's thoughts swirled, twirled, and eventually became jumbled in a chaotic tornado inside her mind. That dull throbbing spiked once more, like a knife through the skull, as she tried to piece her memories together and realized that she could not recall anything of what Rin was saying. Nor could she even recall a last memory from which to draw any answers. Brow furrowed, sapphire irises narrowed, white seeping at the corners, Kagome remembered that her last memory was… was—

…falling into oblivion…

—nothing.

She could not remember. All she drew from searching through her mind was this dull yet brutal pain echoing endlessly along with this whiteness, stretching on and on, that often invaded her vision like white ink blots, but almost mind-devouring, life-stealing… even soul-consuming.

Either way, she could not remember. Though, with her entire being feeling as if she had just come back from the dead, Kagome did not want to think about… anything too mind-numbing at the moment. Especially not with Rin picking flowers for her.

How can one ignore that joyful, spirited girl anyway? Kagome's smile quirked up a little more as she watched Rin. Innocence. An untainted aura of carelessness, not plagued by worries or fears of death and love. All the young girl needed by her side was, oddly enough, the cold, stoic, holier-than-thou Taiyoukai of Western Lands, Lord Sesshoumaru.

And all Kagome had needed was Inu—

"… I can't love Kagome; I love only you, Kikyou…"

Kagome suddenly cried out in pain, clutching her head, nails digging into tender flesh, tangled raven hair, and wounds that she hadn't realized were there. But even as her wounds and scabs were scraped and opened by jagged, broken nails, even as a warm liquid that carried the heavy, ugly scent of copper started to trickle down her pale, bony fingers, nothing—nothing was compared to the agony that had abruptly, unexpectedly, viciously erupted in her head.

"Kagome? What the hell's matter with you, stupid girl! What do you think you're doing, falling off a fuckin' cliff?"

A scream exploded across the peaceful clearing and straight into the forest, sure to be chilling enough to stop even the most ferocious youkai in their tracks.

"Kagome-chan!" Kagome heard Rin yell in some far distant part of her consciousness, sounding more like a wisp of wind than anything else. All she heard, saw, felt—all she knew—was that unbearable pain which scorched in the marrow of her very bones, as if melting her from them inside, blistering and burning, like fire in her bone, like acid in her veins, like Inuyasha's cruel, heartless words.

And she was sinking, drowning, falling into pure whiteness, colorless abyss, everlasting oblivion, for the spots of white had taken totally dominated her sight now.

"Inuyasha," she sobbed, voice rough, cracked, though she couldn't hear it; tears spilled from colorless, almost glass-like eyes in gushing Niegra Falls. "Inuyasha, Inuyasha, Inuyasha, why? Please, please, why? Inuyasha, Inuyasha, please, no, no, noooo…"

She remembered. Remembered falling off a cliff—no, remembered letting go of Inuyasha's hand. And that had been okay, as long as Inuyasha was happy, and she would not have to remember, because she would be dead. But she wasn't. Was not dead. And she remembered. And, gods, it hurt. So much.

She had wanted to die. So much.

So what did Kagome do?

She ran.

Sapphire eyes shot through with an abysmal white shot up and wildly searched her surroundings, noticing neither the small dark-haired girl with tears and fear in her wide brown eyes nor the squawking green imp frantically waving a two-headed staff that had suddenly appeared out of the forest. She only saw an escape, a route—someplace, anywhere—to which she could run. And run and run. No destination in mind, just an escape—an escape from the voices, from the memories, from him.

So jerkily, clumsily, Kagome scrambled onto her feet, not noticing the outfit in which she was clothed—a pale green yukata—that she surely never had seen before, and swayed, stumbled, tried to run.

And found that she couldn't.

Her leg muscles indeed were not working properly like the rest of her body as she earlier has suspected, so thus her legs gave out beneath her. With a sharp, desperate sob and cry, Kagome fell to the, luckily, soft forest floor in a flurry of shimmering green cloth, long raven hair, and clouds of dust. On the dirt and pile of grass and leaves which had made up her bed, she lay motionlessly, limply, almost dead to the world except for the violent shaking of her shoulders and broken, wretched sobs from a raw, burning throat.

"Inuyasha, Inuyasha, Inuyasha," she muttered through her tears in a pathetic, empty mantra, coughing and choking on the dirt inhaled from the ground. "Why, why, why?"

Then, a voice shattered the state of chaos and turmoil into which she had sucked herself. A voice sofrosty yet deceivingly smooth it froze all thoughts in her mind.

"Get up, miko."

Almost immediately,Kagome's voice cracked and become silent as that cold tone reverberated through her mind so callously and arrogantly that it even seemed to shove the other entire agonizing pain aside. As she exhaled her breath become even, quiet, and the trembling quickly calmed. It was almost as if a glacial storm had settled overhead, freezing everything, including time, in it's place.

Glassy irises of unnatural white flecked with specks of glimmering sapphire slowly raised to meet the icy, emotionless gaze of two deadly golden eyes.

"S–Sesshoumaru."

End Notes: So concludes the first chap. Really hope you enjoyed it and it wasn't too confusing (or maybe I do since that's all part of my twisted sense of humor)! Like I said before, this a my rewrite of a previous fic so the plot has completely changed and, truthfully, so has my writing style especially in the year it has been since I last updated this. I'd like to think I have matured and expanded more in my writing since I last worked on this fic. Hopefully you enjoyed it, nevertheless, and will wait for the next chap, which I will, with a bit of luck, post soon!

Reviews are greatly appreciated and constructive criticism is always considered. Both are loved foods for the starving authoress! Thanks.

So till next time…

Ja ne! (:

– scelerus animus

(revised : 7.22.05)