Disclaimer: Don't own Gundam Wing or Sailor Moon.
Warning: Yes, minna-san, this can only be classified as a filler chapter. xD Due to my getting high off of Prince of Tennis. [which inspired the main events of this whole chapter. :DDD]
…………………
"The concept itself is very simple. In order to become Miss Relena, we will have to work on three aspects. One is your way of moving about, the second is your personality, and the last is your political know-how. There is of course the fourth category, your appearance, but we have specialists for that." Trowa smiled placidly at the two dumbfounded women in front him. They looked overwhelmed.
It was early Monday morning, 6:00, just a bit after sunrise and nobody seemed truly awake except Trowa and Quatre, both of whom had consumed large amounts of tea at around 3:30 a.m. Usagi and Minako had been contacted over the weekend and ordered to come to St. Gabriel Institution's gym with comfortable clothes and shoes.
"We'll start with the physical training for today." Usagi decided Trowa's smile was way too calm. "As you both probably know, Relena was born a princess and raised as a diplomat's daughter. This required some extensive training in etiquette and poise. We'll start with the walking."
"Where is Maxwell?" Wufei asked crankily, glancing over at Trowa through half-lidded eyes. His hair was in its usual tight ponytail but it looked far from orderly, bits of it sticking out in haphazard places. "He's supposed to have the materials."
Quatre blinked. "Oh, right. When Trowa and I were driving here, I saw him when we passed a nearby Starbucks."
Trowa nodded and muttered, "He had a dozen frappuccinos in front of him too…"
"I'm here! I'm here!"
All six present people turned to the gym door. Duo walked in, smiling cheerily and lugging a bulky, oddly-shaped bag. "We're about to start the walking exercises, right?"
"You do have everything … don't you?" Trowa stared suspiciously at the nondescript bag.
"Of course!" He bent down to search through it, half of his body disappearing from view. "Here!" Usagi blinked as Duo thrust five good-sized textbooks into her hands and grinned at her before handing another five to Minako. "I was afraid that you guys might get bored or something so … I decided we should all participate in these exercises! It'll make it like a race!" He beamed at the six people in front of them.
"Maxwell, you idiot! I don't want to train myself to walk like a woman!"
"Calm down, Wufei," Trowa ordered absentmindedly, one hand keeping a careful hold on the back of the Chinese pilot's shirt. "Duo has a point. It'll make this much more interesting."
Quatre smiled weakly. "I-It'll be fun," he offered uncertainly.
Hiiro crossed his arms stubbornly and openly glared at Duo. "The coffee's getting to your brain. I'm not doing it."
"No way, Yui! If I have to do it, so do you!"
"No."
Duo pouted at him, expression faintly thoughtful before brightening. "Hiiro, do you remember that picture of you and Relena dancing that we all know is in your bedside drawer?" He grinned to himself as Hiiro visibly stiffened. "And you know how the tabloids haven't gotten hold of-"
"Shut up, Duo. I'll do it." Hiiro frustratedly made a mental note to move the picture.
"Okay, ladies! Then we're ready to start." He sifted through the bag and came back up with five books for each of the pilots as well as a clipboard and several sheets of paper. "It's simple. The first exercise requires everybody to balance two books on their heads and walk to the end of the gym and back with correct posture. We'll increase the number of books gradually. Trowa can judge since we all know he's very capable being an acrobat and all…" Both Wufei and Hiiro shot the tall pilot grudging glances.
"Through the activities of today, we will keep a running score sheet with ten being the best score and zero the worst. At the end of the day, the three people with the least scores will have to eat the dinners Trowa and I cook for them." Duo's grin was almost devious. "Well, how 'bout it, hmm?"
Whoever wasn't awake previously was now.
Minako looked around at the frozen, ashen faces and frowned puzzledly. "I don't get it … shouldn't a free dinner be a reward?"
Usagi turned to stare at her incredulously. "Just imagine, Minako … Duo's cooking."
Duo laughed. "Usagi's right. Even I'd do anything to escape my and Trowa's cooking."
"I'm offended, Duo," Trowa returned calmly. "My cooking is good for the body. It's your burnt food that is carcinogenic and has too much oil."
"At least burnt food has taste," Quatre chuckled softly. "But I'm curious … I'd like to try both of your cooking."
"You're suicidal, Winner," Wufei muttered. Quatre laughed sheepishly in reply.
Duo bowed flirtatiously. "So shall we get started? Ladies?"
Trowa smugly sat down and balanced the clipboard on his legs, penciling in everybody's names. "Remember, speed isn't key here. Posture and balance is in order to achieve the completely poised look Miss Relena has. Everybody go ahead and put two books on top of your heads."
"I will not eat your cooking, Maxwell," Wufei whispered vehemently as they waited for Trowa to give the signal to start.
"But if you do, I'll make sure it's extra crispy, just for you," he retorted and shot Wufei a crooked smile. He laughed as Wufei shot him a heavy-lidded glare.
"Start!"
Six people started to precariously walk forward.
"I want to try their food though…" Quatre mused to himself. He turned and beamed at the person to his right. "Hiiro, how 'bout it?"
"No, thanks." Quatre's smile didn't drop as he easily continued down the court, head high. To his left, Hiiro was having a much more difficult time as he concentrated on placing one foot in front of the other while minimizing the movement of his head.
"Quatre, I thought you liked their cooking. Why're you trying so hard?" Usagi questioned curiously from his right.
"I do like their cooking," Quatre smiled, "but I like watching people suffer more." The smile never wavered.
Usagi's face froze and she felt her right eye tick. Losing her concentration, she gave a short yelp as she lost her footing and fell backwards. She wailed as two books tumbled down on her.
Quatre blinked down at her. "Just kidding."
Her eyes widened to the size of saucers. "Not fair! I was tricked by sadistic Quatre over there!"
Trowa bit back a laugh. "It doesn't matter. You have to be able to keep your cool even in situations like that."
She groaned as she got to her feet and walked over to Trowa, peering curiously over his shoulder. "So what's my score?"
"A three. Because you made it about a third of the way and had no major posture errors. Don't worry, it doesn't necessarily mean you'll lose, Miss Usagi." He glanced up at her curiously when she didn't reply.
Her eyes were focused completely on one person, lips parted slightly in wonder. "Wow … what I'd give for my camera now…"
"Miss Minako is exceedingly good at this. I'm sure she's had training as a model though so she's quite a bit ahead of you in this category." The remaining five people had turned and were heading back towards them.
Usagi shook her head slowly. "It's not just that. I know Minako has had training but a part of this is also inherent and she definitely has the modeling genes…" She turned to the other side of the gym. "Same goes for Quatre."
Trowa laughed. "Wufei and Hiiro obviously don't have it in them but they have received physical training. Duo is doing fairly well. It's actually kind of surprising."
"Still. I think Minako will be the victor of this round."
Trowa tapped the pencil on the clipboard and nodded thoughtfully. "I agree with you. Minako deserves a ten."
Duo finished first and beamed at the two of them. "So, Trowa, what're the scores?"
The tall brunette stared down at the score sheet contemplatively. "I think it will come down to eights for Hiiro and Wufei, a nine for you, a nine and a half for Quatre and a ten for Minako."
"Biased, aren't we, Trowa?" Duo winked. Trowa didn't reply but instead stood up as everybody reached the end and Wufei spitefully threw the books onto the floor.
"That was the most moronic, useless thing I've ever done."
"I agree," Hiiro replied blandly, dropping his books onto the gym floor as well.
Minako blinked quizzically. "I actually thought it was kind of fun…"
Duo nodded cheerily. "Right, right. It was fun watching Hiiro and Wufei sweat bullets."
"W-well, that's not what I meant, but…"
Trowa was a step before everybody else and had already grabbed hold of both Wufei and Hiiro's shirts by the time they started charging towards the uproariously laughing pilot of Deathscythe.
…………………
"Let's see…" Trowa looked down at the score sheet and tallied up the results. "From the scores of the three poise and balance exercises and the three endurance standing tests, the people who will be eating dinner will be … Usagi, Quatre, and Wufei," he concluded.
"WHAT?! No way in hell am I eating Maxwell's cooking!" This time Duo had grabbed the back of Wufei's shirt to prevent him from running. The Chinese pilot turned around and looked ready to bite Duo's hand off.
Trowa smiled as Usagi shot a black look toward Quatre. "If you hadn't done so poorly on the first balance test, you probably wouldn't have lost." He turned to the other blonde beside him. "But Quatre, you gave up on purpose, huh?"
The blonde nodded. "I really wanted to taste your and Duo's cooking."
Minako leaned over and whispered in Usagi's ear, "Strange, isn't he?"
She laughed. "They all are."
…………………
"Since this is technically the first time that this has happened, we'll go easy on everybody. Just two bites will suffice." Trowa's eyes flashed ominously as he set out the two plates of food, one completely blackened and the cause of the dense smoke hovering near the ceiling and the other colorless and unidentifiable.
Duo nodded solemnly. "And remember, guys, the sink is in the kitchen in case you need to get water."
They were all gathered in
Trowa's living room around the coffee table. It was as if the punishment for
the day were a spectator sport.
"Ladies first." Usagi gulped and gazed uncertainly at the two lumps of amorphous food objects in front of her and gingerly took a bite of the first and then the second. The entire room was silent as she chewed and each face was frozen in an intense look of observation. Once she had swallowed it, she stood up, threw a hand over her mouth and sprinted wordlessly toward the kitchen.
Wufei felt a tendril of fear crawl up his spine.
"All right then. Wufei, why don't you go next?"
He bit into the food and chewed thoughtfully. He had to have more control than that girl. Standing up calmly after gulping it down, he started walking casually towards the kitchen. The spectators watched curiously as he blanched and a sickly yellow-green color replaced the regular tone of his face. Halfway to the kitchen, he broke into a run.
"You're last, Quatre."
The blonde nodded and reached for the blackened lump first, taking a bite, before doing the same with the translucent one. Wufei and Usagi, both of whom had returned by then, gaped as Quatre reached for more. "This is actually pretty good," he said evenly.
"Not possible…" Minako breathed as she stared at Quatre's unhurried chewing. "After what happened to Usagi and Wufei…"
"Remind me to get the recipe from you, Trowa." Quatre smiled. "And no need to give me yours, Duo, since you just burn whatever you're cooking."
Duo nodded weakly.
"Well…" Trowa cleared his throat uncomfortably and turned to the two girls. "Read the five books Duo gave the two of you and be prepared to take short quizzes on them."
Minako squeaked. "All five?"
"Yes. Now go home. Your time is running out."
She sighed and headed towards the door, Usagi following her. Minako groaned as she tied her shoelaces.
"Evil, isn't he?"
Usagi turned to glare back in the direction of the living room. "They all are." This time, there was no amusement in her voice.
…………………
Ne, ne! So much dialogue. xD But it's actually a quite idiotic … lol … nothing particularly important happens … like I said … filler chapter. :x Wai! I'm so excited! I've finally started to watch Gundam Wing … !! Lol … but it's all … dark … and grainy … and it's in English with strange voices … haha. But … Relena's "psychoticness" is a bit exaggerated in the fanfiction world … as well as Hiiro's insensitivity and disregard for life … as well as Quatre's feminity [just a little bit though. xD] But … Duo hasn't been exaggerate. Nope. Not at all. xD I like Catherine … and Noin's voice. :DDD Okay. That's it. xD
Note:
The whole punishment with … urk … culinary items idea was inspired from the … "Inui's Special Vegetable Juice" [and all its variations – said with an uber kakkoi Japanese accent. :DDD] in Prince of Tennis. ::dokidoki:: As well as the pilots' and others' reactions … In this case, Quatre would represent Fuji, Hiiro represents Tezuka [and maybe Echizen], Usagi represents Oishi [to some degree], Duo represents Kikumaru/Momoshiro, Wufei represents Kaidoh, and Trowa represents Inui. Haha … I'm such a cheater… xD If you haven't seen the anime yet … GO WATCH NOW!!! You MUST suffer the obsession like I do. :D
Xixi: Wai! You're back…!! Thankyouthankyou!! xD [Y'know … there's a girl in my art class named Xixi … o_o I'm not sure she spells it that way though…]
Kumi Lang: Lol … How's this for "very soon"…? Disappointment, ne? xD But thanks bunches. :DDD
AznxAngel: Thank you! But maybe going insane isn't so bad … weren't a lot of famous writers/musicians manic-depressive/insane…? Lol … and to think! You'd have me to thank. xD
Serena Yuy: I'm not sure I ever want to tell … lol … that is, who scored the 40 and who the 46 … it'd probably tip the scale a bit too much. xD Especially at a time when I want to achieve equality so badly. :DDD Lol … you'll have to see to find out. ^___~
Water Angel1: ::blush:: Thanks so much~! Nobody's ever commented on the way it flows … lol … I'm speechless. xD
Usagi Asia Maxwell: Asia-chan~! Heh heh … I don't remember how few my updates were before [while you were beta-reading for me. ^^;] … but I do remember the six-month hiatus … lol. But I'm glad that one week is still considered speedy. :D
Gackt Camui: Nono! I can't tell, can't tell [about the 40 and 46]! Lol. xD Ne, ne … scary manga. xD But it worked to my advantage. :D School starts for you next week, right? Wahhh … I still miss summer. ^^; S-secretary … oh gosh … bad images, bad images!! ;-; Loved the digression though. ^___~
Kolinshar Jackie-chan Benito: Hmmm … I had the sudden urge to throw an "extra crispy" in the fic … I think it was taken from your review. :D Lol … I'd have to try harder to be more unpredictable, ne? :D
Venus of Love: Heh heh … not much of Minako in this one either … ;;; No, no! Don't go away! Lol. xD As for the uncooperative thing … yes, yes … that's almost definitely going to happen. And I believe it'll be more than once. :D
Liquid Ice: Haha … you can read me so well. ^^; Yesyes, I knew it was "Talk Like a Pirate Day" that Friday … lol … nobody else in my school did it though … so … urk … I talked like a pirate to myself. xD Yes, yes Hiiro's going to suffocate a lot … and it won't just be illusionary. ;D