Disclaimer: I don't own the Power Rangers. So don't try to buy them from me. Please don't get all offended because I mocked your favorite Ranger. I try to mock them all. Besides, it's just for fun. I really do enjoy the show :). 'Hi" to all from AFPR…especially my fellow Psychos. Please let me know if I make any errors. I have no difficulty with receiving constructive criticism. Thanks to Joe Rovang and SirStack for their Writer's Guide to the Power Rangers Universe which I rely on a lot.

If you haven't done so, please read the first fifty stories in "When Rangers Meet." Thanks.

This is story number forty-nine. It was requested by Charra Loon.

(Ok, I still haven't seen 'History' (stupid Abc Family channel keeps skipping over it, so if I am in error here, please forgive me).

Tommy and Cruger

by

Eileen (Psycho Tangerine)

"Ah," moaned Tommy as he stretched out in front of his fireplace. "This is the life." He had his favorite flavored coffee, the latest issue of 'KarateCarScientists' (a gem of a find on the Internet), and a recording of his favorite Ranger sounds playing over and over on his cd player.

Tommy you are now the white ranger...the new leader of the Rangers...oh Tommy, you are the greatest ranger ever...Today we celebrate Angel Grove's White Ranger (screw the other Rangers) Day...Tommy, you are a powerful warrior, so strong and virile, of course I want you to make me yours...Tommy frowned at this one, perhaps he shouldn't have recorded Goldar's 'suggestion'.

Best of all, there were no kids bugging him. No jumping and accidentally morphing at the sound of explosions only to find Ethan playing one of his stupid games. No having to wipe his furniture of blood after another of Conner and Trent's brawls over Kira. Unbeknownst to them, he had sent a cybernetic version of the Black Ranger to the future with them. Tommy snickered to himself. And all it took was promising Hayley that he'd vote for her in the upcoming 'Ultimate Genius in Ranger Technology' awards next month. Poor Billy wouldn't win by a complete shutout this year as well.

...Tommy, the real reason I left you is...Crash! "Ow!" groaned Cruger as he landed on Tommy's stereo. This is the last time I let a guy named 'Boom' build anything for me, let alone a timeship, he thought to himself. "Aha!" he cried triumphantly as he spotted the human male. "I knew there was something fishy about that Black Ranger you sent us!"

In the meantime, Tommy had jumped out of his chair, spilling his coffee all over his favorite magazine. "DinoThunder power up!" he shouted reflexively. He then whipped around, weapon drawn. "Who the...? Oh, it's just a poor lost little doggie," he breathed in relief as he demorphed.

Cruger looked askance at him. "Well, yes, my name is Doggie, Doggie Cruger. I happen to be the..."

Tommy crouched and patted his knees. "Come here, doggie-woggie, I have a special treat for you..." surely no one would miss one cursed dinosaur bone.

Cruger growled threateningly at the black-clad man. "Pardon me? I am not a pet. I am the Commander of..."

Tommy stepped up to the alien Commander and began petting him on the head. "Awwwww...does the doggie-woggie like that?" he asked in a sing-song voice. "Yes, he does, yes he..."

"CUT THAT OUT!" hollered Cruger as he knocked Tommy aside. "Why is it everyone I meet thinks I'm a pet? Why is it every time I get a gift it's a chew toy or a water dish? Why won't the dogcatcher stop harassing me every time I leave the SPD compound?" He glared harshly at Tommy. "Well, I just happen to be the commander of SPD. Probably the best mentor of a Ranger team ever."

"W...W...W...WHAT!"

"I said I was the commander of..."

"Std's yeah, yeah, not something to really be proud of, huh?" Tommy said dismissively with a wave of his hand. "But did you just say you were the best Ranger mentor, ever?"

"Yes, I did." Cruger replied.

"Impossible."

"Why?" Cruger paused and then smacked his forehead with his hand. "Oh, of course, Zordon. No one beats the original. But I'm still the best of the uh...non-magical mentors. Okay?"

Tommy's face turned red. "Who the hell cares about an old wuss who let himself get 'killed' just to avoid the heavy gambling debts he owed his bookies." Tommy hadn't told anyone about the threatening letters he had found in the backroom of the now-destroyed Power Chamber. He had been holding onto them in hopes of being able to one day blackmail the old skinflint. All that work they did for him, and yet not one paycheck.

"Uh..."

Tommy pointed his finger into Cruger's chest. "You don't get it, do you? I'm the greatest Ranger mentor ever! I was the great White Ranger. You know, the one you have your shrine to."

"What shrine?"

Tommy paused in thought. Then he pulled out a tape recorder. "Note to self, put Rangers on shrine building detail as soon as Mesagog is defeated." Then he continued. "I lead the Zeo Rangers as the Red Ranger. And now I'm the mentor of the DinoThunder Rangers...and...get this...I'm also the Black DinoRanger...at my age! Do you know what it's like to have to deal with encroaching rheumatism after each battle?"

"Can't be as bad as mange," commiserated Cruger. "Besides, I'm also a Ranger. And I don't just lead an isolated team here and there. I happen to be in charge of a whole Patrol Base with several squads under me."

"Well that's hard to believe."

Cruger smirked. "Yeah, well I could show you the orders I got from High Commander Birdie to lead those cadets...oh, but wait...they're in the future, where your team is, not here in the past where you're cowering in fear."

"I'm not talking about your squad. I can't believe that someone as old as you can be a Ra...Hey!" Tommy grabbed Cruger by the collar. "No one calls me a coward!"

"Oh yeah?" gasped Cruger. "Then what do you call sending your team to a fight while you lay back in your recliner?"

"Smart?" Then something occurred to Tommy. "Wait...wait a second...your actual name is Doggie? And that other guy you mentioned...Birdie? Let me guess, he looks like a bird?"

"How'd you know?" asked Cruger.

Tommy bent over in laughter. "What's next? An alien cat named Kat? An alien monkey named...uh...Monkey?"

"Actually, his name is Sergeant Silverback." Cruger looked around as if someone could overhear, then his whispered. "But rumor has it that he had his name legally changed from 'Bare-Butt Orangutan.'"

Tommy's eyes widened. "Uh, I was only kidding." He nonchalantly sat back in his recliner again and picked up his newspaper. "By the way, if your team is fighting with my team, why aren't you still with them?"

Cruger paled at this. "The battle! I forgot! I was only supposed to be here long enough to grab your lazy ass and take you back with me!." He ran to the timeship and began pressing buttons and pulling switches, but everything began to spark and fizzle. "Come on, come on, Sky and Jack are probably pounding each other again." There was a small explosion and the ship fell in half. "Great, just great! As soon as I find my way back, a certain technician will be wishing for a real Orange Ranger to come and rescue him."

"Well, that's that, then," Tommy closed his eyes and began to settle in for a nap.

"What do you mean that's that?" cried an agitated Cruger. "My team...our teams are out there fighting all alone. What if they need us? If they get beaten and Earth gets taken over by Grumm, it'll be all our fault!"

"Your fault," murmured Tommy. "You're in charge there, not me."

"But..."

"Look, if you're so eager to get back, just use that time portal thingie down in my secret lair." Tommy pointed to the door boldly labeled 'secret lair to the DinoThunder Rangers.'

"Thank you." Cruger opened the door and headed downstairs. He looked around the room and located the machine marked 'Time Portal.' He stepped in the chamber, and pressed the big red button. "Whoomp!" with that, he disappeared from the room.

"Hmm..." mumbled Tommy, "perhaps I should've told him to set the clock on it first. Oh well, they could probably use a blue doggie in the Mesazoic Era." He began to snicker at this, causing his second cup of coffee to spill on his lap. "Yeeeeeecccccchhhhhhhhh!" Tommy screeched.