umm.. you know what? the death threats iv'e been getting stink. here's one i wrote:(and something i was looking for)

in ten minutes, i am going to hack into your computer, find its transfer code and download all your personal data. i will cross reference your computer's company consumer information server and find your address. i shall come to your place of residence in a ski mask and superwoman uniform and pointlessy poison all your food with powdered aconite( including the donuts. for the coppers). i shall then perform a sex - change operation on your person, and replace your clothes with that of the opposite sex i shall leave an identification of an ex-convict on your bedside with your matching features and new gender. i shall then continue by draining your blood painfully from your body and replacing it with embalming fluid. (it really hurts) i shall then wrap you in a fireblanket (modesty must be maintained)and fill your toilet with alcohol before lighting it on fire...(cackles evily "see! see! that's what the fire blanket was for!") then planting the weopons from the o.j. simpson trial on your bed side table. now, you, having fortunatly lived long enough to figure out how i was framing you despite the lack of blood, and the emence pain, convulse widly before choking on your nasal fluids. you. are. now. DEAD.

i shall then call the police and inform themthat you drank some bad lemonade (hence the vomiting) and i think you killed someone. they will come to investigate, eat your powered donuts and die as well. i will walk away and you will be pinned for thier murders.( i mean who puts aconite on thier donuts?) your corpse will be decapitated and your head put on a spike to sit in front of the white house. and i shall laugh.
please...

update?

Secrets, lies, facades, and a long ass chapter.
Twenty minutes later all characters sit in living room

'Damn it! Where is he!?'

"Hun, where's ferret? haaallooooooo? Anybody home? I swear, he doesn't space out like this often maybe he needs to eat.."

He turned to his wife," no Eva I don't need to eat, I'm just wondering where the ferrets gone off to.. i mean, he's the magical one, god i wish he were here,.."

Looking at Hermione and Ron's shocked faces he chuckled...

"You honestly thought we were Muggles huh?"

"Well, yes I suppose we did, seeing as we didn't see you in school, but of course.. You didn't have to go to Hogwarts I suppose..."

"Well of course no 'mione, he probably went to Durmstrang"

"No, home school... Pitiful thing really, paranoid bastard.."

Everyone looked at him with a look of questioning glances. "Oh, did i say that out loud?"

'Bloody arrogant wrench, when does her vocabulary come in handy?'

He got nods: "Well home schooling is dull.. Especially when you have such a mentor..." Hermione noticed the look he gave...'damn voldie, just couldn't teach without crutacius..'

Ron looked at him weirdly 'oh yes I forgot, I called Draco ferret, that was the name that Ron gave him after all...' "Um, Mr. Andrews, who is this ferret person, cause' I know this one guy at school--"

"Draconis Lucien Andrews-Malfoy" he shot a glance at his wife." my husband"

He got the desired effect... Hermione looked shocked, her mouth open slightly, her brow twitched just a bit, as if she was thinking hard, like the looks she gave when she found something particularly interesting to read. a smile graced his lips 'well she hasn't changed at all. shouldn't think about that, she betrayed you..' Ron had his mouth wide open, gaping his mouth with fish-like quality. little James looked like he was fighting a bout of giggles.. And losing...badly.' no doubt just as coherent and trusting as me… I wonder why they named him that… after my father, you'd think they would avoid anything related to me...oh man, Draco almost home… This will be… Interesting. To say the least' he looked back to his audience from the clock that now showed Draco in the 'home' position.

"But- you already have a wife..." Hermione started, but Harry waved it away (er Joshua, whatever)

"Being immortal has advantages, it is necessary to take more than one mate in a lifetime, if your first can't produce children. The twins are actually the result of all three of us."

"If Draco is your husband, why did you need this talk, I mean you're obviously well rectified to the situation and-"

"Hardly, I've never been in the magical world, in fact, I've only been studying spell for the last ten years. Grand dad thought it would be so grand of me to learn magic.."

"HEY MIDJITS! WHERE ARE YOU?" ahh the unmistakable drawl of a Malfoy (a/n does happy dance.. i luvvvv draco!)

"FATHER!"

"FERRET!!??"

Draco bounded into the room, a smile abroad on his face, something that left the Weasley's in fascinated horror. He hugged his children with ferociousness, before even acknowledging the other people in the room.

"afternoon love" he said in a soft tone, barely above a whisper as he swept over and kissed his lover, Draco responding equally, and turning to kiss his wife as well, before turning to the Weasleys, a smirk now set in place. "You didn't expect me to be a total cold-hearted arse did you?" he quirked a brow in a mocking way, taking in with delight-ment, they're speechless predicament. As it was true they expected him to be an ass, the way he was with his potion's class, still not as bad as Snape, but just below, just. Joshua cocked his head to one side as he looked at Draco

"Well, what are we going to do? Did you talk to bumblebee? What are we going to do? We can't take them for regular feedings, and its going to look weird when they don't show up at meals..." josh (a/n isn't the nick-name cute?)Smiled sadistically, and Draco suddenly shook off the terror filled face he had been holing 'oh Draco, do you honestly think they are smart enough to figure out what we are talking about?' "Well?"

"oh bumblebee is just fine and dandy, the house elves will accommodate them somehow, although, it's a weird request, he decided, no matter what house they're in, they'll need their own rooms...of course as they'll be in Slytherin that won't be a problem there will be loads of dungeons, an they can live next to my quarters.."

"Don't doubt that, totally Slytherin.. Dumbledore is going to be kicked off his horse.." he practically whispered this, but with his acute hearing Joshua picked it up..

"i quite agree with you Mr. Weasley, no children of mine will be in Slytherin, dungeons are terribly cold, and as a wise brother of mine once said, "the dungeons wouldn't get warmer, if Snape danced in a pink leather bound tu-tu,emmiting every Slytherin a-flame, his 'greasy-git' hair on fire, singing 'it's hot in here' at the top of his lungs'." he was such a brother.. wish i could have known him while he was alive.. defiantly Gryffindor.. my kids"

'Technically he is, but it would be funny if you thought he wasn't, and it would help explain why the twins are hissing at each other..'

"Well Malfoys have always been in Slytherin!"

"So?"

Draco stuck out his tongue and pouted as everyone looked amused.

"Who's your bro? I like him!" Ron looked smug, and grinned like a Cheshire cat at Draco who was fuming.

"oh I got that out of my bro's diary, of course you did like him, I mean, until you turned your backs on him for his supposed 'murdering of innocence' and all you know.. Well he's around here somewhere.. OI HARRY?! WHERE ARE YOU.. THE WEASLEY'S ARE HERE!"

Draco looked slightly amused as the Weasleys visibly paled as white as ghosts.. James started shaking. the twins stopped their hissing with equal smirks as their father and Harry looked amused, and shook his head

"Finally, you know I understand parsletounge too dearest daughter of mine, but if you don't stop chatting with your brother, you won't get the chance to hear that very annoyed set of snakes that Draco is attempting to hide from you.. oh drake, by the way, I'd take your hand out of your pocket, they "are" poisonous."

Draco said nothing, but pulled his hand out of his pocket, as a ghostly Harry-like figure, a boy that looked gaunt in tattered robes, and broken glasses, dull eyes, matted hair, a bold shape of the lightning scar, emerged.' this is what I looked like when I escaped, dull, lifeless, tattered, and dead.' the twins didn't seam to be perturbed by the ghost, they knew it was an act.. They saw it when the man daddy called 'bumblebee, or moldiewart ' came over... it was effective...they hissed at the ghost, knowing that dad could understand him and make the 'ghost' act accordingly... the 'Harry' did

./dad... make him laugh? It would freak them out!/

The eyes of the ghost sparkled with life, and looked at the Weasley's, as he shook his head, totting, and almost giggling, as his shoulders quaked a bit. And looked solemnly again... Then spoke. "is that right? You named your son James? How odd.. I see you met my niece and nephew, and my dear twin brother" at this he rolled his eyes, as 'Joshua' snorted and answered... "Well, if I'm that bad.. Why do you haunt us so?" 'Harry' smiled devilishly and looked pointedly at Draco.. "for the midnight entertainment of course!" he said cheerily in a sing-song voice that reminded every adult in the room of Dumbledore...Draco started to loose control of his silent laughter, and it turned into giggles. The kids were rolling on the floor.. The Weasleys still hadn't waken up, or spoken, since the 'ghost' appeared. But Hermione finally perked up, a wry smile gracing her lips... "How did you die? And when?"

A sarcastic and dramatic jump as Harry seemed to act as if he didn't notice they were in the room: "well hello to you too 'mione, I've been fine, haunting my brothers house, pulling pranks on Dumbledore, Voldemort, and Draco.. cause' its so damned fun.." a dramatic pause as Harry seemed to have his eyes glaze over in fond memories as Hermione looked affronted, and Ron started to join the laughter with his son and the rest of the room,"

Hermione turned to him "PRANKS? ON VOLDEMORT?!?!!?"

'Harry' looked at his nails.. "yes mione' it's quite fun actually, he seemed really bummed that even in death I managed to pull a prank on him.. He was mad when he found out he couldn't kill me....but got over it, you know, he's really fun once you have him over for tea, and he looks loads better without those special 'evil cosmetics' as he puts it. Right joshie boy?"

"Why yes Harry, he looks gods great in leather pants, but he is our granddad.. Wouldn't want to try incest would we?"

'Harry' scoffed.. "I cant do anything, drowned trying to escape the dementors… Glad you found my body though… wouldn't be fun to haunt fish near the castle.. Oh gods, I would have been stuck with myrtle!" a look of disgust crossed his face, but turned into a smile, and even Hermione smiled..

"Well I'm glad you found peace in something Harry, I know you need it.. I mean, here, everyone thought you were a murderer.."

"And you didn't?" Harry asked with a cold tone, narrowing his eyes

"At first I did.." she looked down." but I didn't later.."

'Harry visibly softened: "thanks mione' I'm glad I got a break too.."

"Hold on Harry?"

"Yeah Ron"

"What were you talking about cosmetics?

"Ya know how horrible Tommy boy looks?"

Ron looked confused: "yeeeaaahh..."

"it's makeup, simple spell turns it pink"

"But your a ghost...You can't" at that moment a white spell ran past Ron, as he froze. 'Harry quirked an eyebrow: "can't what?"

"Okay dearest brother of mine, i think its time for you to go...the twins... both sets are tired, and they need feeding tomorrow. You know every few days and all...plus i daresay you're sooo disturbing.."

'Harry' nodded and became invisible (actually vanishing as he's an illusion) "whatever"

Some "bye Harry's were heard from the Weasleys as Draco solemnly handed Harry (the real one) two galleons an rolled his eyes, giving the barley audible Weasley's an exasperated sigh..

"Well since I'm here now, all vamps, snakes, and veela must sleep, so Weasley's if you would? I think I can relay everything.."

The Weasleys reluctantly left the manor in a half-dazed state, James happy to have two friends that knew parsletounge, and that he had actually met Harry Potter!