Okay this was a poem about my own experiences with Hypnagogic Hallucinations but someone seemed to think it was about Ren so I turned it into a Ren poem enjoy
P.S. I know, I know Mama Ren sorry I'm working on it I swear
Hallucinations
Go away and let me be
Creatures that twist and bend
Clawing at my face with airy fingers
My soul needs this time to mend
Torsos with severed limbs
Crawl slithering to my bedside
Gargling blood and hellish hymns
Let me scream release my chest
Growling low screeching high
Whispers ranting screaming calling
Oh god my end is nigh
Tears can't fall and words can't form
Silent screams to be rid the shadowy images
Take away those ghostly figures stop the flashing in my eyes
Let me go and stop the torment stop the pillages
Not asleep! Not awake!
Slumber-less nightmares I can't face
Nudges and touches
Breezy tickly breathes windy lace
Cold finger tips stroke across my chest
Pressing hard against my motionless body
Fear itself visits me while I rest
Hellish rants fade away releasing its grip
Sobs and shakes ability to breathe
All movement comes back in each fingertip
Can toss and turn and break the spell
Nightmares I cant flee
Aware yet unable to have effect
Motionless with fear stricken eyes
Hidden in shadows waiting to return
Images so real yet all of them lies
Preying upon me as I try to dream
Hallucinations get the better of me
Tao Ren
The day passed by as normal with the average motions of day-to-day life in the Asakura household. The only exception of the day was when nightfall came and Ren wasn't sure which room to go to. He could go to sleep with Horo or go to his own bed. He wasn't keen on either idea really. He didn't want to rush anywhere with Horo but didn't want to sink back into that feeling of loneliness he came so accustomed to in his many years toil. Ren eventually ventured to his own room rather having the feeling of being alone than to think he depended on anyone else at all for some sense of security. Nights were always the same for Ren he loved all the properties of night from the stars that guided him to the soothing silence the serenity that night brought as many slumbered ready for the next day. He loved the glistening moonlight off the surfaces of everyday objects making them alive with pure white light. Every aspect of night entranced him… except sleep. Sleep was the curse in a miracle, the catch in this almost perfect set up. Sleep was a moment in time a person was at their weakest letting memories flood and nightmares roam wrecking their havoc and causing damage in the dead of night.
Ren sank into the sheets as always trying to just fade into a dreamless night, not wanting either sweet dreams or fierce nightmares for each haunted him in his waking hours. Dreams tormented him with the ever knowing end for dreams are not real and nightmares linger painful moments that keep you awake not wanting to face the thing you always feared. Inevitably we all must sleep and Ren was slowly dozing off when it began. He saw something out the corner of his eye something move and wander around the room. It was doused in shadows. Ren tried to move to see what it was but his body wouldn't register. That's when the panic settled in and the realisation it was happening again…
Go away and let me be
Creatures that twist and bend
Clawing at my face with airy fingers
My soul needs this time to mend
As he lay there unable to peer around to where he thought he saw something moving around he felt something touch his face like cold fingers only rough and straggly. Each time he felt the cold thin hands stroke over his face he wanted to reach up and stop the tingly cool fingers from stroking over his skin but his arms wouldn't move frozen in the same spot. His chest was the only thing moving as the panic began to grow with each sway of something dark lurking in the depths of his room.
Not long after he saw it, the thing crawling over his floor. It looked so real and firm yet it's appearance was like a shadow. This thing had almost human qualities except it had no arms or legs. It had a stub where its head should be and it dragged slithering and slowly working its way closer. The low growling began to ring in his ear almost as if a rabid dog was about to pounce from the darkest corner of Rens room to attack. The faint sounds of whispers where growing in volume in Rens ear, it almost sounded like these whispers where coming from right next to his head but he couldn't see anyone there and multiple voices rose. That's when the screechy scratchy noises of screams and agonising whales came getting louder and louder till Rens ears felt numb with pain. He wished he could cover his ears turn on a light and banish these demons back to where they belong but no matter how he tried he couldn't move an inch not even twitch. He couldn't command these things to go away his voice was lost along with all movement.
Torsos with severed limbs
Crawl slithering to my bedside
Gargling blood and hellish hymns
Let me scream release my chest
Growling low screeching high
Whispers ranting screaming calling
Oh god my end is nigh
Like bricks falling a weight laid itself upon Rens chest pushing down making breathing harder and harder. It was almost as if someone had laid on top of him pushing him down into his bed sheets. He gasped for air trying to struggle but still lying motionless under the weight of an invisible foe he could not budge. The torso got closer almost right next to his bed and people still screamed and whispered incoherently as a voice chanted words that made no sense just babbling and ranting getting angrier and lower in tone yet still booming in volume. It was scary to hear all these invisible enemies and not to understand why they were here or how they were here. These experiences got worse and worse yet he sensed no presence no spirit that would be doing this. He had checked and checked with each passing episode but not a single ghost was there to ensue this torment. Demonic beings still raced round the room playing tag with each other's shadowy form as they twisted into ugly things disturbing the helpless Tao. No matter how hard he tried he couldn't call out, maybe if he could muster up a shout or cry out they would vanish but his voice faded into the darkness and only the sounds of these transparent demons could be heard. He was lost to these hellish beings.
Tears can't fall and words can't form
Silent screams to be rid the shadowy images
Take away those ghostly figures stop the flashing in my eyes
Let me go and stop the torment stop the pillages
Not asleep! Not awake!
He wished to wake up he wished for this to be a horrible dream that any second he would wake up from but it never turned out that way because he isn't asleep yet he wasn't quite awake. This is a point in time where these things could torment him outside of the depths of nightmares. They could work their terrors upon him, as he lay in this state of paralysis weak and defenceless. No matter how hard he tried the painful cries wouldn't die down and the images wouldn't stop with ghostly faces flying and flashing in front of him with gashed open eyes empty sockets and cracked jaws leering and smiling with skeleton grins.
His breathing still suppressed under the weight of the invading foe he gasped for air he direly needed feeling suffocated in this feeling of panic and helplessness as he was crushed by the might of the enemy. Things jabbed at his sides, things he couldn't see and things with claws not hands but something completely inhuman. He could feel something dark and beastly. Pants and warm breaths were felt against his neck and ear like someone was behind him blowing on him with hot air. Fear rose in Ren as something explored over him with scratchy fingers that caressed the skin with cold dead claws for hands. Merciless monsters seemed to push and jab with airy hands inducing dread and fright reaching to grip the very soul of the young Tao.
Slumber-less nightmares I can't face
Nudges and touches
Breezy tickly breathes windy lace
Cold finger tips stroke across my chest
Pressing hard against my motionless body
Fear itself visits me while I rest
Ren tries again and again to move trying to scream and shout for someone anyone to help chase away the adversaries that tormented and disturbed his mind. He felt something at last give way, he felt his right hand was unaffected by the devils hands jerks and strokes. He tried until finally his right hand moved and the images faded and the sounds died down leaving the silence of night to again bring serenity to Rens chaotic night. Hands released their grips and the demons scurried away at the first sign of ability returning to him. Cowardly hellish beings retreated back into the shadows until they could return once again to distress and ravish on the soul of Ren.
He jerked his head trying to adjust his voice came back as he whimpered breathing in as the weight was lifted. He rose up slowly finding movement back in his limbs. He looked around the room making sure the creatures had gone back to the depths where they belong instead of desolating and causing devastation outside his nightmares in the time before sleep at the darkest hours of night. He pulled his knees up to his chest feeling like a scared victim of an unknown attacker. He needed desperately to find a way to chase away this feeling of being attacked and taken advantage of. He couldn't stay here where those monsters still hid waiting for him to let down his defences to sleep. He couldn't fight sleep all night but how could he sleep when the threat of the invisible attacker haunted him. Ren became anxious rocking back and forth trying to figure out what to do when suddenly it hit him
Hellish rants fade away releasing its grip
Sobs and shakes ability to breathe
All movement comes back in each fingertip
Can toss and turn and break the spell
Nightmares I cant flee
Horo had offered him a place when he needed it, would Horo keep up on that or was he only jesting when he said that. Ren couldn't give a dam at this point he had two options and staying in the grasp of those fiends and eerie visitors was not one he wanted to take. He rose from his bed opening his door quietly and closing it gently. He walked down the hall to Horos room. Ren froze at the door biting his lip leaning against the door with his hand on the door handle pausing for an instant. He thought about his options a few more times before making up his mind to go in.
He opened the door as softly as possible making sure not to make a sound as he entered holding his breath while doing so. He closed the door again not making any noise. He tiptoed over to Horo and slowly knelt on the bed next to Horo looking at him for a minute silently wondering if he should or should not stay. After pondering on it and remembering that feeling of helplessness asking Horo a favour didn't seem to compare to that horrifying experience. He shook Horos shoulder till he saw a set of blue eyes start to drift open. Ren watched the Ainu stir from his restful nights slumber anxiously wondering what he must think getting a visit from him at this hour. Horo looked up to see Ren sat there patiently, he rubbed his eyes to make sure he wasn't just seeing things before deciding yes Ren was sat on his bed.
"Hey Ren" Horo greeted Ren then yawned loudly before finishing "What's up?" After that the room fell into a deep awkward silence before Ren timidly answered
"I decided to take you up on that offer" Ren turned his head away to look at a very interesting pillow at the end of the bed not really because he found the pillow fascinating he just didn't want to look at Horo right now. The bluenette was not only stunned he was worried, even though it was dark and the only light was the night stars and the waxing moon set high in the sky but Rens skin was pale and still shinned with the cold sweet he had broke into while being tormented by the intruding indistinguishable evils. Ren still looked shaky from just regaining control of his body after the paralysis of his experience.
"Are you okay?" Horo asked not really expecting a truthful answer but didn't feel too bad about it after all Ren probably lied to himself about whether he was fine or not. If Ren couldn't admit to himself he couldn't admit to Horo.
"Fine" Ren said after a pause between the two shamans. Horo sensed the tension and also noticed Ren looked a little disgruntled and tired
"Well there's plenty of room so hop in" Horo said with a smile shifting over to the other side of the bed allowing room for Ren to climb in. Ren paused looking at the spot "I wont bite" Horo joked receiving an annoyed grumble from Ren before Ren climbed in and allowed Horo to snuggle up to him. He to cuddled in resting just under Horos head. He was content to go to sleep when Horo interrupted
"What? No good night kiss?" Horo said in a fake offended tone that was more mock than anything though he wouldn't of minded a kiss from Ren
"Shut up" Ren said half-heartedly with a little blush forming over his cheeks. Horo laughed lightly before resting his head down over Rens wrapping around Ren comfortingly before saying his good nights
"Good-night, sleep tight, don't let the beg bugs bite" Horo smiled drifting off to sleep with Ren returning his good-night with his own comment
"…Baka…"
They both fell asleep deeply with each other slumbering peacefully with a slight smile on each other's faces. Maybe Horo was the one to chase away the images and sounds… maybe Horo was the cure for the hallucinations…
Aware yet unable to have effect
Motionless with fear stricken eyes
Hidden in shadows waiting to return
Images so real yet all of them lies
Preying upon me as I try to dream
Hallucinations get the better of me
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