Disclaimer: No GW or SM.
A bit longer than usual. Strange mood swings. Unhealthy reliance on history and dialogue. Strained humor. Weird Hiiro. Random revelations. Horrendous syntax. Other than that, it's perfect. xD;; Enjoy, por favor. :D
Chapter 12
"In 1941, Hitler launched Operation Barbarossa, violating the 1939 Nazi-Soviet Pact and opening the Eastern front of World War II."
Minako stared at Usagi uneasily.
"In July of that year, Stalin announced a scorched earth policy in which everything – everything – was to be destroyed in the case of a retreat." Usagi paused and halted her pacing, the room briefly but heavily silent, devoid of her clear voice. She lurched into motion again. "Late that December, the Soviets launched their counter-attack, using the Russian winter as an ally."
Minako bit her lip and shifted slightly, not knowing when to cut in.
"The operation was a vast failure. The Soviets gained back unimportant land but lost immense amounts of troops and were severely weakened. The soldiers … the soldiers were consistently short on supplies and poorly trained. USSR was not yet ready militaristically or economically for a war with a superpower like Germany."
Usagi had been pacing and reciting militaristic history for the last two hours, starting with the earliest she could remember from high school and college, in Qin Dynasty China, past Alexander the Great, past World War I, to World War II, and beyond. Her voice had not faded or faltered, droning on with uncanny accuracy and purity of tone. Minako was beginning to wonder whether or not she should be stopped and put to bed.
"The next summer, Germany launched their summer offensive, Operation Blau, targeted at the resource-rich Caucasus. It was unsuccessful as Hitler obsessively turned his attention to Stalingrad and the Soviets executed Operation Uranus, successfully exterminating the German Sixth Army. Fifty thousand men."
"Usagi…"
She ignored her. "This was a turning point for the USSR but … in every Soviet operation from then on … Operation Bagration, Vistula-Oder, Berlin … in each, they lost more men than Britain, France, Japan, and America in the war combined." Usagi sighed and slowed her pacing, her previously rigid posture slackened and slumping. "Stalin used his men like cannon fodder … their best attack was the flat out charge. To Hitler's tanks. To Satan."
"Usagi, you really should-"
Again, Minako's voice was ignored. "You know, at the end of Operation Bagration and when the Soviet army was in Warsaw, the Polish army rose against their German oppressors, thinking the Soviets would help." She pursed her lips and looked out the window, staring into cloudless cerulean. "Stalin stood by idly as Hitler brutally put the insurgency down. It was…"
"Possibly the beginning of Cold War politics, I know. Please, Usagi. Stop."
The blonde looked vaguely startled, as if just realizing that she wasn't alone in the room. "Stop? I wish I could. Stop the war."
…………………
Contrary to her usual avid eating, Usagi picked at her lunch, playing with her fork, morphing strange shadows on the sunlight-splattered table.
Out of the corner of her eye, Minako could see Pagan frowning worriedly at Usagi idly twirling her eating utensil between her fingers. But he knew better than to ask. After all, the last conference was no secret to the rest of the household and asking Usagi, at this point, would just fan the flame, provoke an unimaginable explosion, something even more horrendous than her confession about Michiru.
Hiiro, however, was not so emotionally insightful.
He cleared his throat shortly. Minako's eyes widened but before she could slap a hand over his mouth or aim her fork at his head, he started, interrupting the shivering silence. "Miss Usagi, it is best that you get over this event. Keep in mind that war has not yet begun and is not set in stone. This point is crucial and only you and Miss Minako have the ability to veer everybody off the path of war. Of course, I understand that neither of you are, by any means, Relena or have her ability to act as a beacon of peace but … with the combined effort of Quatre and the others, avoiding war is very possible…" He trailed off and looked as if at a loss for words.
Minako arched an eyebrow but didn't look up at him. Hiiro was obviously not used to motivational speaking. His words seemed halfway between scolding and commanding.
Usagi didn't respond.
Hiiro sighed loudly and dropped his fork to his plate with a sharp clatter. "You know, in this way, you are absolutely nothing like her. Relena would never sulk more than one minute over anything – she would strategize and plan her next step, quivering inside, perhaps, but always with a brave face and a confident smile. You … you are nothing like that." His voice faded and cracked as he looked aside. Minako barely had time to wonder if Hiiro was going to cry.
But Usagi had finally looked up, eyes narrowed and filled with such venomous dislike that Minako briefly thought back to her previous lecture on Hitler and Stalingrad.
She took a deep breath and began, voice controlled and low, "I don't want to be like Relena. I've tried, for all of my life, to be somebody else – to be Michiru. But I refuse to continue to try to become somebody I'm never going to be. Because it's impossible. It's absolutely impossible. I..." She stopped abruptly and turned back to studying her slowly twirling fork.
Just as Minako was about to uneasily interrupt the silence, trying to keep the tension between the two low, Usagi started again, this time softly, waveringly. "Did you know Michiru had synesthesia? It's very rare. She could literally … hear colors. So every time she wrote a sonatina or an opera … she was painting a picture, a Monet or a Degas. And in that way … I could never become Michiru. Fate held me back." Her voice melded into the silence and the twirling of the fork stopped. [1]
Minako's brow furrowed. For a brief, glancing moment, Usagi had had an imploring expression, filled with the desperate hopes and needs of a pleading child. But that look had come and gone as quickly as the flash of gold under obsidian waters.
Hiiro's expression was again blank, Minako's again solemn, Usagi's again nonchalant.
And it stayed that way for the rest of lunch.
…………………
Hiiro looked as if right on the edge of knocking when Minako opened the door, Usagi peeking out from behind her. The taller blonde raised an eyebrow almost as if silently challenging.
He looked down and aside, eyes darting to the doors in the hallway, as if pondering escape, and then back to Minako's face. "If…If I may speak with Miss Usagi for a moment?"
Minako looked as if she were sizing him up. Usagi looked lost in space. "Well, knowing your ability to take into consideration others' feelings…"
"Five minutes. Max."
She hesitated, briefly glanced back at Usagi who offered no assistance, and then nodded shortly. "Five minutes."
…………………
She was staring out the window again, eyes blank, lips pursed, absolutely silent. He sighed loudly, ran a hand through his hair, and licked his lips. The seconds were ticking by.
"Miss Usagi … We understand if this is too much for you. We're not forcing you into anything," he paused and thought hard, trying to draw an essence of Quatre out from within himself.
Nothing.
"If you wish to abandon this cause … there's nobody stopping you and … you're free to leave whenever you want." He searched his mind for anything he had left out. "After signing an oath of silence, of c-"
"Does the sight of me and Minako pain you?"
Her voice was quiet but he started nevertheless.
She turned back to face him, tearing her eyes from the window, and stared at him forlornly. Then, she lowered her eyes and smiled at her hands in her lap. Noiselessly, she reached under the mattress and pulled out a nondescript, white envelope.
His breath caught at his throat as she opened it slowly.
"At first I thought they were mine. I keep my portfolio with me and have done projects on her but … then I realized…"
"Shut up." His tone was frighteningly quiet. He was glaring vehemently at that open white envelope.
Usagi bit her lip. "Tell me about it. Tell Minako, tell Pagan – I don't care. Tell somebody. We all want to help you. We all want to-"
"Every man for himself." The words were droned, his hands immobile.
Her eyes widened as she stared at him, a small frown playing on her face. "Every man for himself? Hiiro, there are six billion other people on the Earth and two billion in the colonies – why must every man work only for himself?" She paused and took a deep breath. "Do you … do you notice … that Minako is trying … so … so hard to hate you? Because she understands how you feel at the moment and because she doesn't want to complicate things? But she can't. Because … because love is like that."
He was silent.
"And…do you notice when Duo stares at you when he thinks nobody is looking with that pained and worried look on his face? He looks as if he wants to cry. Is that what you're here for, Hiiro Yui? To make people cry? To make people worry? Please…please tell som-"
"SHUT UP!"
She jerked back as his hand flew at her, swiping the envelope from her loose grip, littering small squares of paper all over the room.
And as she stared up at him, eyes wide, breathing quick, and as he stared down at her, eyes wide, breathing quick, multicolored pictures of Relena drifted to the floor around them in a flurry of color, a flurry of love, a flurry of sorrow. And the room echoed Relena's laughter as she grins at Hiiro in one shot, as she pokes him in another – as she dances, as she sings, as she hugs, and as she kisses.
"Get out."
Usagi was trembling under the barrage of precious moments.
"GET OUT!"
…………………
"Usagi? You all right?" Minako stared at her curiously after jumping in surprise when she burst into the kitchen and pressed her back to the refrigerator, panting.
"Where…where is this?" she asked breathlessly, glancing around wildly.
Minako frowned. Maybe she was coming down with a fever. "The…kitchen…"
"The kitchen," she breathed to herself and almost laughed. Her childhood sanctuary.
"What did you and he talk about?"
Usagi sighed and stood up, breathing returning to normal, and flashed a minimal and strained smile. "Nothing important."
Minako rolled her eyes. "And that's why you look as if you're running from Hell's houn-"
"Minako, there's something burning!"
Only then did she completely take in the kitchen, eyes panning the counters and the stove as Minako rushed to turn it off.
It looked like a landfill.
"Minako…"
"Yes?" She was busy studying the burnt something-or-other.
"Did you try to cook?"
"Yes."
"And is it my obligation to help you now?"
A pause.
"Yes."
"Oh, Lord."
…………………
"Don't give me that look, Hiiro." Minako narrowed her eyes and glared. "If you had told us earlier that we had to leave tonight for some all important L2 meeting to avoid war, this would not have happened."
"You would not have cooked dinner."
She glared defensively. "Usagi did try to salvage it."
He turned away and rubbed his face tiredly. "Right. You cooked dinner, Usagi tried to salvage it, and we ate out."
"It sounds so bad when you put it that way," Usagi laughed. Minako looked up and grinned at her. Usagi was back to normal. Thank goodness.
After all, once one has braved the fury of Pagan, the chef, and a hoard of maids after their combined effort in destroying the kitchen, one can handle a galactic war. No problem.
That might be stretching it a bit.
Usagi looked askance at Hiiro and sighed. Not a word of what had happened behind paper-thin walls. She didn't know whether to be relieved or frustrated.
Minako had been grinning for the last twenty minutes, ever since packing and getting on the shuttle. Usagi smiled to herself. She hadn't realized how much Minako had been affected by her sorrow. Staring up at the ceiling, she bit her lip and crossed her heart that, for Minako's sake, she would be happy and continue to hide whatever heartbreak she had inside.
…………………
"Are you ready for this?" he asked. The inside of the shuttle was quiet. Usagi was sleeping, leaning against the window, a small frown playing on her face as she muttered in her sleep.
Minako glanced up and shrugged. "As ready as I'll ever be." She paused and frowned. "Of course it helps that there isn't another president to kill."
"That is an unsettling problem," he muttered quietly, staring stonily ahead. Usagi's words were not easy to forget. Minako … was Minako really in love with him? That had to be impossible. He was not Duo, the self proclaimed "player" in their group. He did not act like Duo. In fact, he tried to be the exact opposite of Duo. And yet…
He tried to hold her gaze. She looked away.
"A problem? I won't go through the same thing Usagi did."
There was a seed of Relena in her, in her courage and audacity, and in her appearance and optimism but…
She wasn't Relena. Only Relena was Relena. And no matter what Usagi says…
"Is that what you're here for, Hiiro Yui? To make people cry?"
"Do you…" he paused to cough, uncomfortably, "Do you … like baklava?" [2]
Minako started and eyed him weirdly.
But before she could speak, he quickly scowled and mumbled a, "Never mind. Unimportant."
He didn't speak for a long time and when he did, she thought for a moment that he had changed the subject again.
"The other four are all coming. Quatre, Wufei, Trowa, Duo. We need high security this time. It's going to be long. It will span all of the two days. We plan on having you do the first, rest, and then have Usagi do the second."
"So it's good that she's better now."
"Yes. But … with the President gone, the next most important person would be…"
Realization dawned upon her. "Vice Foreign Minister Relena Darlian."
…………………
Is it a surprise? I don't know. I'm so out of touch with my stories … --;; By "it" I was referring to Usagi's acknowledgment of Minako's love for Hiiro. xD;; But this chapter was overly Usagi-centered and therefore, partly because next chapter is Minako's entrance into the war fiasco, chapter 13 would be overly Minako-centered. There is no bias yet. Lol. So I hope. xD;; But thank you for reading~ Yours, Angel.
Notes:
1. Synesthesia – I don't know if I spelt this word right. MS Word refuses to admit that it's English. --; But it is an "illness" [I think it's more of a gift] in which two or more of a person's senses overlap – taste sound, hear colors, feel smells, etc. The prime example is … Koening? Was it Koening? Well. Some abstract artist whose name starts with a K. Michiru was, in short, amazing. :D
2. The whole baklava thing – [a Greek dessert, by the way] It was a subtle way of showing that Hiiro is considering Minako. He knows that Relena liked baklava [made up and random] and thus he asks Minako to gauge her similarity factor to Relena. xD;; Twisted thinking on Hiiro's part – he's obsessed with Relena – but it works. :D
Water Angel 1: Lol … I think I exaggerated it. --; How disappointing … ; I dunno. Usagi was just overly sensitive. xD
Silly Smiles: Lol thank you. xD I love it that Usagi has problems too … :3
Usagi Asia Maxwell: …you have not started yet have you? Lol. ::sigh:: And I probably won't see it until next well, will I? ;-;
AznxAngel: No preference. Lol. xD; It's too hard to focus on both of them equally in one chapter because then they'd be super long chapters xD … so they'll switch off. xD;; Next chapter will be primarily Minako and more likely than now, so will the one after that. xD
Gackt Camui: Lol … I have an unhealthy obsession with making everybody deranged and strange … which means … Hiiro and Usagi aren't the only ones. xD;; And angst is loverly xD By the way … you haven't updated in a long time … will it be soon? xD
Black Aura-Sama: Thank you. :D I think it's a relief that Usagi isn't perfect. --; I wonder if Michiru will ever show up in person … hrmmmmmmm …. Heh heh xD
Usagi Shiratori: Thank you! xD But it's not certain that it's U/H yet … xDxD
Xixi: They killed Mamoru off in the Sailor Moon Live Action?! O.O;; What strange people. xD Thank you. :D
Nanashi: O.O;; Wow … I can't hope to even suggest that I understand you … but I hope as the story progresses and Usagi understands herself better, you will perhaps gain insight. But that might be a bit ambitious of me. ^^; If there's anything I can do, please tell me. ^^
Ashika: Nooo!!! I don't hate you!!! Lol. And angst is good. xDxD
Dark Universe: Thank you. xD;; I was half-afraid people would be scared off with psychotic!Usagi. xD
Tenshi-Kaiko: Lol … I'm not a major theater person … so I really have no idea what that play is/is about. xD;; But good luck on it! :D
Lizzy Black: Lol … I really think I went too far. --; Even I was getting vaguely annoyed at her as she dragged things on in this chapter. xD;; But for the drama … lol.
Goblinprincess13.4: Here's the update! :D
Sorry the replies were so brief … I'm not that energetic right now. ^^; But thank you to every one of you. :D Happy Easter, everybody! :D
Tangent: Has anybody seen Meteor Garden? Lol … yes, I know I live under a rock … seeing it so late … but still! O.O;; It's so addictive. It's like gradually committing suicide. xD