A/N: thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Your reviews made me cry. They were so full of support... thanks. You guys really know how to make a writer feel loved. I reread my story, yet again, and discovered that some of the chapters aren't half as bad as I originally thought! Amazing! Fallen-angel finally getting some pride! Well, school has probably already started (I started this chapter the day the last was posted, but who knows how long it will take to reach you). Some of this chapter may be boring, but I hope my editor changes that for the most part. Anyway, I can't really say anything on how much longer it will take to update. I will say that, even if I get in trouble for doing so, I will finish this story soon.

Choice: oh, shit. You guys are so going to hate me. I give you a choice. Either you stop reading now that the two got together and everything is all high and dandy. Or read on... but if you do, you MUST finish the story before you dare complain to me. hahaha. I am hyping up my story. I find that is funny.

Warning: ANGST! That is all I will say. Get some tissues, 'cause I am even crying writing it. (Don't you just want to read when a writer hypes like this?)

Disclaimer: continuation (btw. there is only going to be one more after this. I know. boo hoo)

I sat on the meadow where we spent our last time together, weeping silently in my hands. I never felt so alone. I was hollow without him. I needed him near me. I wanted him close. Without Yami, I was nothing but an empty shell. But I gave him up. I consciously gave him up. What a mistake that was. Now, I knew that we were always meant for each other. Now I knew I- A hand gripped onto my shoulder. "Fallen-angel?" A low, baritone voice said from in front of me. Gasping, I looked up to see him. My Yami, in all his handsome glory. "Why are you here? Shouldn't you be with your date?" I whimpered slightly. He smiled. "With who? Yugi?" After my meek nod, he laughed out. "Yugi? Yugi is just a friend. He works on the show. I told him not to answer the phone like that. Once, he did that to my mother. Well, the cast forced their way into my house to celebrate... Wait. Why would you think I was with someone else when I love you?" Confusion dancing in my heart, I looked into his crimson rubies. "What? But you said-" "I know perfectly well what I said. But I also know what you said and why you said it. I know you love me. And I know I need you as much as you need me."

((((((Space))))))

------ Wilting Prematurely ------

Heat. Sweet warmth. It enveloped around him, causing his skin to tingle from comfort and pleasure. It traveled up from his frail legs, almost completely shapeless behind, bony spine and one narrow shoulder. This same sensation radiating tranquility flowed in a stripe across his sticky, lower stomach. He felt so at ease in this position, knowing his lover was right there, without the shame of actually having to look at the sleeping beauty.

Yugi had awakened like this, from his guess, over twenty minutes ago. It was only a little after daybreak, judging by the weak sun rays pouring through the window and the light twitter of birds outside. His guardian was gently spooning him; with his softened cock lying between the pale boy's equally pale legs. The dark had probably wrapped his arm around the hikari, pulling him close, sometime after he went to sleep. As the violet-eyed teen stirred awake, he felt Yami tighten his grasp around him, pressing his chin to the boy's shoulder. The dozing Pharaoh breathed deeply, and the light felt every inhalation against his back.

Yugi had been quite exhausted, so he had not a mind to give to what he and his other half done after the passionate act of love and lust was actually committed. His thoughts were jumbled for most of the night, especially after his first view of his 'new' face. And this mind haze only grew ten-fold when the light and Yami started their sexual intercourse. But now, as Yugi stared dully at the black bed near his own, he had all the time in the world to think about the repulsive thing he had done.

Yugi had taken the innocence of another. The purity. The two did love each other, but still. It was Yami's virginity. Something so unblemished shouldn't be forcefully given, like how Yugi pressured his dark to. The way the boy asked made it seem like if the Pharaoh denied him, the light would have killed himself right then and there. Even if he would have, Yugi hated knowing that maybe the sex was led by his yami's extreme protectiveness, and not totally his love. The crimson-eyed teen would have done anything to stop the light. Anything...

"No. Yami loves you. You love him and he loves you just as much." Yugi whispered to himself urgently, attempting hopelessly to reinsure himself. He deserved his guardian's love, body and soul. He deserved to be loved by the incredibly handsome man, right?

After letting out a long, exaggerated sigh, Yugi rolled over in his lover's embrace, so he now faced his dark. Yami let out a quiet moan from the light's movement and flopped backwards from his side to his back. The Pharaoh removed his arm from around the hikari's hips,

sliding it on top of his own defined stomach.

Yugi looked idly at his darker half, trying to force any ideas of self-unimportance out of his head. He took in every shape and color of his guardian's perfect face. He had always thought him and Yami looked pretty identical, except for the height, eye color and skin tone. But now that he was so close to the other, closer than ever before, he realized that some of the same things that made the two similar looking were the biggest differences.

The light's cheeks had always been large, before the incident with Keith, due to the baby fat that he never quite grew out of. Yami's cheekbones were also big. But instead of being large from baby fat, the Pharaoh cheekbones were high and the skin stretched tightly over it. The area directly below it was also hollow and deep, forming a perfect inward curve. Yugi brought his finger to the dip, feeling the dark's smooth, tan skin.

The taller teen tilted to the touch. His long hair fell over his forehead, draping the light's hand with blond tresses. And unlike Yugi's sunny yellow bangs, Yami's was streaked with the occasional black strand. Not only was the bangs a different shade, but the red tips of most of his hair were also a wine color instead of the shade of a brick red crayon. But of course. The Pharaoh was the darker half.

The violet-eyed boy watched as his guardian's long, thin but clumped eyelashes flickered. The left, bronze eyelid dragged halfway open, revealing a mellowed crimson iris.

"Hey." Yami croaked raspingly, causing Yugi to giggle shortly.

"Hey." The light replied evenly. It was a bit odd hearing the dark's voice cracked and strained. But he was pretty loud last night, or rather, that morning, so it was understandable.

Flashing a half-smile, Yami licked his swollen lips. The older teen attempted to roll onto his side, sleep, only inches away from overpowering him. He had twisted the upper portion of his torso when he stopped suddenly, whimpering. A pained expression dashing through his rich features, the dark fell back to his original position. Worried, the smaller of the two pushed himself up so he sat on his shins. He placed one hand on his lover's left cheek, the other on the right side of his neck. "What's wrong?"

His cheeks darkening in color, the Pharaoh tiredly looked away. He breathed deeply several times before answering. "My..." He said hoarsely. "My back, chest... and my thighs... as well as other parts... hurt."

The hikari's gaze fell from his embarrassed dark's face to the areas he described. Violet streaks where Yugi pressed against his chest for leverage were the evidence left behind. Underneath the secretion still on him, deep purple blotches were settling on the yami's lower regions. Also, the place the light dug his knees into was bruising horribly. Stifling a snigger, the hikari stroked his lover's surprisingly feminine hips, that didn't show through any of his boxers, or even leather pants.

"Don't laugh at me... I know you want to... It's not funny..." The light smiled anyway and leaned down to the bottom of his other half's rib cage. Yugi kissed the warm skin, moving down to the outline of the Pharaoh's pelvis as time went on. The dark let out several somnolent moans. The light stuck his tongue through his lips, licking the flesh. The combined taste and smell could have sent him, as Yami put it several hours prior, over the edge. The boy sensed heavy perspiration his overly bitter cum, Yami's sweet seed, and under it all, honey.

"Yugi." The dark drawled. Looking up at his guardian's face, the hikari saw his lover's calm lotus eyes staring at him like they were in some sort of other world. The smaller male rested the left side of his head on the other's stomach.

Bisecting the Pharaoh's chest with his index finger, Yugi listened to the rhythmic breathing on the dark's part. Inhale; one, two, three, four. Hold; one, two. Exhale; one, two, three. Inhale; one, two, three, four. And so on and so forth. "You know, you really should be sleeping right now."

Shifting slightly, earning a small wince of pain, Yami raised an eyebrow. "Really. And why is that, my love?"

"Let's see. You have only been sleeping for maybe two or three hours. You were the uke and I was being quite rough. You need all the rest you can get to, heal. And most of all, it was your first time. Your body is most likely fighting to keep consciousness at this moment. Go to sleep."

Yugi twirled the hair on his guardian's lower stomach. Most of the strands had some of their seed on it, but it was still wonderfully soft. "You're up. Why are you awake?"

His violet eyes darkening to plum circles, the pale boy wobbled so he sat between Yami's legs. He nuzzled his cheek into his guardian's belly. "I never slept for too long after sex before. I always had to wake up before I got enough sleep because I had to go to my own bed, nightmares or just because my foster father was bored and wanted some more fun time with me."

The dark's hand rested in Yugi's hair. A pinkie was gently touching the nape of his neck. "Sorry, my love, for asking. I didn't know."

Running his hands up and down the Pharaoh's hips, the light sighed. "I know. Don't worry about it. Just go to sleep, oh innocent one."

"What do you mean 'innocent'? I am no longer 'innocent'!" The light frowned. Yeah, Yami was no longer 'innocent' and that was because of Yugi. "As of a few hours ago, you are the purer of the two of us." Purer. Pure. A word that far from described the hikari.

"Go to sleep, Yami. You are starting to fucking piss me off." The thin digits in his silky tresses stopped combing through the strands. They fell down to the light's chin, where they pushed the entire face upwards. Yugi stared blankly into the twin, crimson eyes.

"Did I say something wrong, my love?"

Shaking his head, the light said, "No. No. I just, just am worried about you. I don't want you to get sick of something."

Yami smiled, accepting the light's expertly hidden lie. "You know, I am the one who is supposed to be worried about you."

Brushing his lips against his lover's flesh once again, the light climbed up the Pharaoh's body, hugging him and slowly rubbing his soft facial skin against the other's shoulder. /That was before you were the uke. / A soft chuckle entered his ears.

/Not fair, my lovely purity. / The elder yawned, moving his arms behind his head.

/Nothing is fair. / Yugi whispered before his darker half fell asleep.

The light brushed his palms against his guardian's muscles, feeling each beautifully tight mass. The teen underneath swayed to the hikari's touch, making gargling moans from deep within his tortured throat. Bringing his fingers to his dark's thighs, Yugi massaged it in clumsy ovals.

Feeling uncomfortable for basically molesting a napping person, the light pushed himself off of the Pharaoh. Throwing his legs off the bed, the hikari stood up. Treading over some discarded clothing, the naked boy exited his bedroom. After pushing a blonde lock out of his amethyst orbs and behind his ear, Yugi headed through the opened bathroom door.

Striking the chilled tiles with the soles of his feet to create faint thudding noises, the light stood still in the center of the bathroom. The gashes on his wrist were so shallow that a thin layer of a scab dove in and out of the red streaks. Glancing over his left shoulder to the mirror in the small room, the hikari could once again see his horribly mutilated face.

A new wave of disgust crashed onto him, like one would expect a wave to clap onto the beach sand, hard and fast. However, his lips were now as swollen as Yami's and one of his ears was baby pink. In several spots, bite marks were left in a pattern similar to that of a stitching. Those same marks were left on his neck, some as low as his collarbone. The light felt each tingle in the slightest bit, but gave no heed. His guardian gave the pain to him, and that was all that truly mattered to him. And his hair had become something close to a bird's nest, something that Yugi wasn't all too happy about.

He took a few more steps forward until he reached the white edge of the tub. He felt dirty, so dirty. It wasn't from the sweat or any other new substance on him. His mind going back to what his yami had said minutes before, about him being his purity.

What made the hikari the Pharaoh's purity? There was no real reason, from what the light could see. Perhaps, the crimson-eyed teen was referring to the whole 'light and dark' thing. Then it would make sense. Yet, the older boy could have very well be talking about that, since Yugi had taken his innocence, the light is something of a keeper for the pureness.

Lifting his legs stiffly, one at a time, the pale boy got into the tub. He pulled on the knob for controlling the flow of the shower's water, so that the arrow showing how hot the clear liquid would be once it was pouring out through the showerhead was set in the direct middle. There was a second or two of silence when Yugi heard the pipes in the walls shake and tap into another, until warm water sprung out from above him.

The first droplets struck the top of his head, wetting some sections of his silky, knotted tresses. As more water seeped out above, the light's hair fell down his back and forehead in damp clumps. The clear liquid rolled down his face and down to his lips. The water was bitter due to the sweat mixed in it. Standing still, Yugi allowed the water to pour over him.

What an odd 'keeper of pureness' the violet-eyed teen would make. There was nothing untouched, unblemished, about him. It would be like sunlight being controlled by shadows, instead of the other way round. The shadows would never be able to keep the sun's rays. The radiating light could reach over all the darkness. If ever given the chance, the shadows would never be able to have authority over the sun. It would be lightened and completely taken over, until there were no more shadows left.

Slowly, the pale boy grabbed the soap, a bar of Irish Springs, and rubbed it in ovals on his stomach. The clean-smelling bubbles stirred into the sticky cum. "I am the shadow." He explained quietly to himself as the thoughts flowed into his head. "I will never be able to clasp my guardian's full light."

And no matter how hard he tried; the hikari now knew that he would never be able to change from shadows to sunlight, to be with his other half. Forever more was he tainted, from being raped by his foster father and Keith, and he had Yami to thank for this realization. Like the Pharaoh said, '.No matter how hard we clean, something so tainted won't go pure.' The dark was referring to the kitchen table, but that doesn't mean the light could take it in a different meaning. He was tainted, dirtied, and now no matter how hard his friends and the dark tried, no one can alter that fact.

"No. No. You can change." Yugi whispered to himself desperately. Pressing his back to the wall tiles, the hikari slid down to sit in the tub. The water drops continued to tap against his skin, a little more forcefully than before.

But how could he be changed? How could one cleanse such a tarnished child? It wasn't possible. He was the dirt others would cringe their noses at when they saw a blot of it on their black, leather shoes. The boy needed to be taken away like that blotch of shameful soil, wiped from the shoe with a cloth or a hand before someone noticed. The only reason Yugi had not been brushed off was that no one had yet discovered his true, horrifyingly repulsive self. Only he knew. Only he knew how much he deserved to be removed.

But wait. Maybe Yugi was both the dirt and the owner of the black, leather shoes. No one said the hikari couldn't be. He was the person obligated to cleanse the world of the dirt. It was all he could do to help this sinking planet, full of patches and networks of people made from dirt.

The only thing that was halting the light from releasing himself from the Earth was, of course, Yami. What would his lover feel if the boy actually carried his plan out? What would the Pharaoh do? What would he say? The light didn't know the answer to any of these questions. And there was no true way of finding out. It was not like the light could walk up to his lover and ask him. And if he did, the dark would stop his own world to 'save' the violet-eyed teen from his abyss of depression.

That is exactly what Yami would do and anyone could see that. That is what he did so many times before; give up his own time or compromise his emotions to make sure his 'little love' was well and safe. The dark did so when the pale boy was in a coma. He halted his world, giving up prom, graduation and just living life, to see that the light woke up. Though it probably killed him to watch the hikari in such a distasteful position, Yami still sat there, waiting. Recklessly sacrificing his time to watch for a change.

Yes, reckless. There had been little hope when Yugi first arrived at the hospital, or at least, that was what the doctors told him. He may have never woken up from the coma. Yami could have spent many hours staring at a dead man.

So reckless the Pharaoh could be when it came to Yugi. Many people over the years have seen this and used it against the crimson-eyed male, one in particular, Marik. He used the light as a way to harm Yami in his last duel. When Yami would lose his life points, the hikari's soul, or that little he ever had, was stripped away. And even though it would have been to save the world, the all-too-caring dark refused to lose life points, therefore sending parts of Yugi to the Shadow Realm. Only until the light begged did the Pharaoh finally give up some life points, winning the duel.

If the violet-eyed boy hadn't told Yami to do this, the male could have virtually destroyed the world. He would have given up the world, just so the pale teen wouldn't feel pain. Could one get anymore reckless?

It would be okay if it were in small amounts. But the hikari already knew that his guardian's existence revolved around the light. With every aspect of his life, every movement he makes, the older teen would think of Yugi beforehand and see if, by doing this particular thing, it will, in any way, affect the light. He would be rash forever, thinking about how things, in any way, affect the light.

So, without Yugi to worry about, wouldn't Yami be more easygoing? With no one for his mind to constantly hover around, wouldn't the Pharaoh be better?

"Yes, he would be." The hikari concluded. Yami would be, eventually, happier without Yugi.

The pale boy wasn't saying that he wanted his guardian to be lonely. No, no. He wanted his lover to enjoy the spiritual grace that is love. Yami needed to be with someone who deserved it. Yugi saw for his other half someone who was the prettiest thing to look at, someone who the dark could hardly keep his hands off of when he was around the person. Someone who was as pure as Yami and was the sunlight instead of the shadows. Someone who would love the dark as much as Yugi did.

That was what he was entitled to. He was entitled to the perfect person to spend all his days with. Bakura had his "person". Ryou. The tomb robber was going to marry his sweetheart. He was going to eternally bind his soul with his lover's.

Ryou was better than little Yugi. The albino boy was the flawless hikari. If only the violet-eyed light could be as good, be as perfect, then he might feel better with loving his dark. He was not ever going to become good enough; therefore he will never live up to the Pharaoh's love.

Yugi sighed and put his hand on the side of the tub. Pushing down on the hard, white material, the light stood up. He shampooed and conditioned his hair, repeating the conditioning step because of the crazed state of his tresses. His hair now more manageable, the light let the pure liquid from the showerhead tumble over his flesh for several more seconds before turning the water off.

With elegant ease, the violet-eyed boy stepped back out of the tub. He grabbed a towel from the rack above the toilet. It was damp in a couple of splotches, probably because Yami had used it the day before. The hikari briskly dried some of his tricolored locks. They were still moist when the boy stopped and wrapped it around his thin waist.

Wiping the mist on the mirror with his forearm, Yugi watched as he combed his hair. The strokes were gentle like always, so as not to rip the strands or create split-ends. The teen continued until all his locks were dry. They curled a bit since he had put nothing in it to relax it. A bounce was evident in small proportions. A queer smile played on his lips the entire time.

After setting the comb down on the sink, the pale boy left the bathroom. The thudding of his feet was deafened in his ears by thoughts of a dreary nature. He made his way to the one room in his house he had hardly ever been in. Biting his already swollen lips, the teen twisted the handle of the master bedroom.

The door opened with a drawly creak. Yugi took a step inside the room. When Grandpa had been alive, the light never went into this room. Not because it was scary or because he wasn't allowed to. His father usually spent most of his time in the shop, the kitchen or the den, only going into his bedroom at night, so there was no reason the hikari needed to be here.

Everything in the dormitory had a thin layer of dust over it, since the last time Yugi had been in there. It was over the side tables, picture frames, desk and headboard. The teen somberly crept from the threshold of the door to the right bedside table. He crouched down, touching the

floor with his fingertips to steady himself. Pulling on the handle to the drawer, he gingerly lifted several pieces of paper and some other things out until he saw it. He picked it up slowly, like something deep inside was begging him to forget his hastily made plan. He didn't, however.

He examined it closely. Its handle black as night, its blade shinning like a star. The tricolor haired teen ran his index finger over the edge of the steak knife. Bakura and Ryou hardly ate meat, so the teeth on the blade were still like it was when it came out of the box.

As he straightened up, Yugi's amethyst eyes glanced at the clock. Grey dust blurred the neon green numbers, but the boy was still able to make out 9:16.

"Odd." The teen whispered to no one. Though the Game Shop opened in thirty minutes, everyone who ever helped Yugi open the shop during the summer vacations (which was everyone in the gang except Seto, Mokuba and Bakura) knew that the hikari started to organize everything around this time. Yugi would have thought that Ryou, whose total amount of times opening the shop was only rivaled with Joey's, would have been here by now.

As the neon 6 turned to 7, a revelation came to the boy. He smiled. It wasn't really Ryou's fault he and his fiancé were late, in a sense. What would one expect? It was the morning after they got engaged. How could anyone look forward to them wanting to leave the house when they could be doing. other things?

Quietly leaving the dust ridden room, Yugi thanked the gods that he decided to hide the object in his hand in his father's bedroom rather than his own. If, when the Pharaoh was cleaning up their room, he came across the object, who knows how upset Yami would have been?

The light walked into the kitchen. Yami's button-up, tank top and dog tags, as well as Yugi's white tee, where strewn over the tiles, or, in the case of Yami's shirt, on one of the chairs. His feet didn't land on any of the discarded clothing as he strode to the small, wooden kitchen table. He sat in one of the chairs.

Breathing heavily, the boy held his right arm slightly above the tabletop, scars skyward. The handle of Bakura's knife was in his left hand. Air was flowing in through his nose, pupils focused on the light reflecting from the blade. The light put the sharpest point to his wrist. As he gazed upon his movements with wide, relaxed eyes, Yugi pushed down on his skin. A gruesome sound filled his ears as he cut the skin. But that didn't stop the male. He only pushed in harder. The hikari moaned with agony.

This new gash intersected all his other scars, including the ones he had carved into his skin the night before. This was the end of the weeping, suffering and derision. One deep, vertical cut down the forearm and it was flowing down, dripping down the milky white skin to drop on the wooden tabletop with crimson blood.

Yugi sat there, a pool of blood forming underneath his hovering arm, waiting for Death's sweet kiss.

((((((Space))))))

A/N: please tell me that was just a bad dream. Tell me I didn't just write. Please tell me that I was sleeping every time I thought I was writing this chapter and this chapter doesn't really exist?

Yami: no. Everything is true. You, you. are an evil bitch that deserves to die and burn in hell with Anzu. How could you?

OH GODS! I cannot believe I did that! (Fallen-angel cries a river. Yami, Bakura and Seto get a rowboat.)

Let's not talk about what I did, for now.

Okay, if some sections seem familiar, that is because they are from earlier chapters. Here are the sections:

1. Its handle black as night. blah, blah. when it came out of the box. This is from chapter 14, when Yugi first sees Bakura's steak knives.

2. The light put the sharpest point to his wrist. blah, blah. The hikari moaned with agony. This is from chapter 16, when Yami cuts himself. I replaced several words to make it fit better, but the meaning is still there.

3. This was the end of weeping. blah, blah. wooden tabletop with crimson blood. This is from chapter 13. I replaced several words to make it fit better.

4. The last sentence was based off of the last sentence of chapter 15.

Okay, now that I am done with that, I must say that I cannot describe how sorry I am. But I shall not back down and I will defend this decision, chapter and my entire story if I need to. Please, just stay tuned. I swear, the last chapter will make up for everything I do, and did in the past.

I want to thank, ifthedeadwerealive, for editing this chapter. She is my shoulder to cry on when I really hate my story. She has supporting me through this all and I just want to say that I LOVE her!

IMPORTANT A/N! I AM CHANGING THE TITLE OF THE STORY! I have always resented the name of this story. Actually, it made a lot more sense when I started the story, but then I changed the plot, a lot, and it doesn't fit anymore. So, for the last chapter (chapter 26) I will

change the title. The new title will be, "It's a Wonderful World." I will repeat this A/N until chapter 26.

So, for those who aren't so sickened with me(ifthedeadwerealive: I'm not sickened :), see you. I will try my hardest to update. If it takes me another month, I say blame school, world of war craft and stupid, little brothers.

(editors note)E/N: Anyway this is ifthedeadwerealive, and if you wanted to know this chapter is being posted a week late because I just couldn't read it. I was crying so much, due to FAOR's sorrow and the fact that this is a depressing chapter if you think about it. Anyway, I was crying so much my house flooded, yes my whole house, all 4 floors. Because my house was flooded I could not use my computer and I didn't have a row boat. Then I had to go find Bakura, Seto, and Yami to get them to come over and save my computer. They were still busy trying to get across FAOR's river. So it took 4 additional days. We just saved my computer today, after my math test of course.