Disclaimer: No own GW/SM.

My chapter, my chapter, my chapter…! Hahaha. I'm just kidding. :3 But I did write it. :D I'm being more … active, shall we say, with CMH. :D This is Angelight, by the way. xD; Andand … you can call me a hypocrite … and I'll agree with you. xD; Enjoy?

Chapter 18

It was 8:05 p.m. and they were fashionably late to the annual Winner charity ball and silent auction.

Well, Usagi personally thought that an hour and five minutes late was already well outside the realm of vogue courtesy and deep into the ravine of rudeness, and Hiiro had whole-heartedly agreed, making his displeasure quite clear by choosing to sit up front in the limousine. So that left Minako, the cause of the tardiness, and her to sit in the back, staring out opposite windows, at a loss of words for lack of their moody chaperone.

Usagi thought it was rather funny how though Hiiro had as much personality as lint, he was able to stimulate so much conversation. Maybe it was within the presence of so irritatingly stiff a person that both she and Minako felt the urge to lighten the mood. Maybe, if she wanted to be extreme, Hiiro was the glue to Minako and her relationship.

Now that was pretty depressing.

"You and Hiiro made up?" Minako had finally broken the silence and yet … it was faintly disturbing that the first topic Minako picked was so deeply rooted in that piece of lint called Hiiro.

"Well…"

"I'm glad you did," she continued before Usagi could get another word out. "If it were not for that, I'd still be trying to tune out your childish bickering."

Usagi turned quickly and glared at Minako's dispassionate profile. "I'm not childish."

"And I'm not blonde," she retorted coolly.

Usagi's eyes softened and puzzlement settled over her face. "Is something the matter, Minako?"

She thought she saw Minako's hands tremble before she folded them tightly in her lap. "Why would anything be the matter?" Her voice broke and got higher and higher with every word as if she were unable to control its pitch with perfect composure. "How many days have passed since we started as Relena?"

"About a month."

Minako looked startled. "Only a month? I feel like … I feel like so many years of my life have passed by."

Usagi didn't know what to say.

"I'm starting to think you were right. I can't help but wonder why I continue to do this. I'm tired, Usagi. Do you think this was how Relena felt?"

Usagi took her time replying. "I'm sure this is how Relena felt. But you are the one who convinced me that I needed to stay here. We're in this together." We are, we are, she repeated to herself mentally.

"Please, Usagi. What can I get out of this dead-end job? I'm not a compassionate person, Usagi. I'm selfish. I don't care if there is a war as long as I'm not involved." Minako was avoiding eye contact and had long resumed looking out the window. The car was slowing to a stop.

"What can I get out of this dead-end job? I'm not a compassionate person, Usagi. I'm selfish. I don't care if there is a war as long as I'm not involved." Minako was avoiding eye contact and had long resumed looking out the window. The car was slowing to a stop.

"I don't think anybody is compassionate by nature. We choose to be compassionate. And I think that you do choose to be compassionate. For whatever reason, does it matter? Just the fact that you're…that you're-"

The driver opened Minako's door and she stepped out first as if completely deaf to Usagi's words. Usagi gaped after her.

"That you're still here shows that you are compassionate!" she shouted after her just as Hiiro appeared at the limousine door. His eyes briefly shifted to Minako's retreating form into the Winner mansion as cameras flashed and the fifty some reporters camped out at the entrance fell silent. When he turned back, Hiiro reached in and grabbed her hand, his fingers deathly cold, and virtually yanked her out of the limousine.

"A mistake. That was a mistake," he ground out in her ear as he reached over to close the door, one hand still holding an umbrella over her head as it was just beginning to drizzle.

"Miss Darlian! Who was that woman just then?" somebody shouted to her from the back of the crowd as Hiiro tried to help her push her way through. There was a general roar of assenting voices.

"Is she a relative?" somebody else added, fanning the flame of Hiiro's anger. Usagi walked quickly and didn't dare look back. Hiiro's hand was at the small of her back, pushing her forward, cold and unrelenting. Though he was in no way confining her, Usagi could feel frigid authority emanating off that hand and felt obliged to obey.

They finally made it to sanctity. Minako was nowhere to be found but at least Quatre's small personal army kept the reporters out.

Honeyed light pooled on swirling marble and a multitude of happy, million-dollar faces turned to watch and acknowledge her entrance, smiling, nodding. After all, nobody could ignore the presence of Relena Darlian.

Quatre was at her side before she knew it. "I'm glad you're here, Miss Relena." That statement was for show, his tone holding all the airs of a host. "There is somebody who wants to meet you." That tone was much darker. "I think you might like him." That tone was outright sarcastic.

"Hiiro, you're going to have to stay back. It's a charity ball – no need for paranoia and bodyguards," Quatre added as an afterthought to Hiiro who frowned but consented, stepping a couple of steps back but not losing his countenance of mistrust.

Usagi turned back quickly and whispered, "Don't worry, Hiiro. I can play my part." The line itself was almost a challenge. She would've felt slighted had Hiiro not known that she could carry on fine with or without him.

He barely had time to reply, "But can Minako?" before Quatre pulled her away into the gilded mass.

…………………

"I watched you guys enter," Quatre started quietly as they walked along, stopping every now and then to greet guests or accept their compliments. "The biggest problem wasn't that you shouted after Minako though that in itself is potentially dangerous due to the reporters," he continued, muttering to her under his breath while maintaining a smile. "Rather it's that you allowed her to step out first. As Relena Darlian the only people you are second to are the President, Vice President, and Secretary of State. Don't ever allow another person to step out before you. It's taboo and you want to fit in. Here we are."

A man, tall, dark-haired, stood at the center of a crowd of both female admirers and sycophant colleagues. He saw Quatre approached and flashed him a smile before murmuring excuse me's to his fans and stepping out from the crowd.

"Mr. Winner, this party has been absolutely enchanting, but perhaps you should have invited fewer politicians? They make the air dank," he joked lightly, grinning and revealing a dimple that undoubtedly had the ability to make ladies swoon.

Quatre courtesy-laughed and replied, "How can you say that when you yourself are one of the most prominent politicians alive?"

The man's eyes sparkled. "Ah, but Mr. Winner, you know I am a far cry from an ordinary politician. But no more. I am appalled by your lack of manners, Mr. Winner. You have yet to introduce this beautiful lady to me." Feigning hurt, he turned to Usagi and swept a bow before catching and kissing her hand. She stared at him, flustered, already feeling a blush creeping up on her cheeks.

"Miss Relena, this man is Mr. Mamoru Chiba. He is very prominent in the ESUN infrastructure; I'm sure you've heard of him already." Usagi managed a dazed nod at Quatre's subtle cue. "And Mr. Chiba, this is Miss Relena Darlian."

Mamoru shot her a suave smile. "But of course you are Miss Darlian; I recognized you the instant you walked into the ballroom." He bowed to her again. "And if Mr. Winner shan't feel insulted, would the beautiful Miss Darlian delight me with a dance?"

Out of the corner of her eyes, Usagi saw Quatre nod but noticed the slightest of hesitations. She puzzled over it briefly but let it go and gladly followed Mr. Chiba onto the dance floor.

"Don't you love gavottes, Miss Darlian?" he asked smoothly, guiding her as if she were a perfect glass figurine across a dance floor of seamless ice.

"I really don't know too much about dancing," she admitted. He looked a bit surprised.

"Surely after all your years of diplomacy and your status of birth, you'd have learned dance extensively?" She could hear amusement in his words but didn't pay it much attention; she was much more worried about her slipup.

"I, uh … It just never really interested me. So I never really remembered it that well."

He laughed lightly. "I'm sure your tutors were pleased."

Usagi managed a wry smile. "You can imagine."

The orchestral quintet slowed to a stop and Mamoru stepped back to bow to her again. "I'm particularly fond of the gavotte because it used to be my sister's favorite dance."

"Used to be?" Usagi raised a concerned eyebrow. "I didn't realize your sister was…"

"Yes," he bowed his head. "She died just recently. We used to be very close. Her death was … very sudden."

"I'm sorry to hear that," she offered, commiserative, and for a moment, she thought he had sounded more angry than despondent … but that mood vanished before she could think further.

…………………

"Don't ever get near that man again if you can help it," Hiiro commanded and Usagi glared up at him with annoyance.

They were one minute into a nine minute waltz. Dancing with Hiiro was very different from dancing with Mamoru Chiba. Hiiro hadn't bowed. She wondered if Hiiro knew how to bow. Hiiro had stomped his way to her the instant Mamoru excused himself and yanked her onto the dance floor. And Hiiro didn't treat her like glass. In fact, Hiiro treated her like wood, as if she were deaf, blind, and mute.

"Why not?" she demanded. "He was very elegant, a perfect gentleman."

"He's after something." Usagi shot him a questioning look and he continued, reluctantly. "He graduated from college at age nineteen and started out as a clerk in the ESUN governmental headquarters. While there, the Secretary of State took a particular liking to him and he became the Secretary's personal assistant at age twenty. When he was twenty-one, the Secretary suffered a stroke and named Chiba his replacement. Chiba served half a year until the next election and in that half a year, he proved to be quite the prodigy so, at age twenty-one, was appointed Secretary of State again by the President who was serving his second term. While serving as Secretary, Chiba impressed the people so much that at the next election, the winning candidate chose him as his running mate. Chiba was twenty-four at that time. This was the year before. However, when it was time to be sworn into office, Chiba refused and named Mr. Macherenkokoviek his substitute and the President consented but unhappily. Chiba chose to drop to Speaker of the House and is serving that role at this moment.

"However, everybody knew that Chiba should have become president when the President died. But Chiba chose to defer. Nobody knows why but most insiders know that Chiba and Macherenkokoviek have a tacit understanding that Chiba is the one pulling the strings. In essence, Chiba is the one in power but doesn't suffer liabilities because he's not in office."

Usagi looked in awe at Hiiro and stole a glance at Mr. Chiba on the opposite end of the ballroom, his back to her, his hands moving animatedly as he chatted. "So is he just another immoral politician?"

Hiiro's steps never faltered as he continued to guide her through the dance. "No, Chiba is perfectly moral. He is so moral, in fact, that as Secretary of State, he didn't accept any bribes. It might not seem like a lot but you must realize that every single Secretary since the founding of the ESUN has extensively dabbled in the bribing business. It's highly lucrative. Chiba is also quite a religious fanatic."

"So then what is he after?" Usagi could feel the hair on her arm start to stand and an uneasy feeling creep up her spine.

Hiiro's intensity seemed to fade and he turned away from her as if losing interest. "Nobody knows. But nobody cares either because they trust him."

"Do you trust him?" she ventured timidly.

His eyes met hers again, dark, wintry, and sarcastic. "Of course not."

…………………

Minako gazed blankly at Hiiro and Usagi dancing. Dancing beautifully. Well, Hiiro was nowhere as capable as the dark-haired man Usagi had danced with previously, but Hiiro did know how to dance.

It was still raining outside and every once in awhile, she could hear the boom of thunder over the elegant music, ever-present, reminding that there was a war out there. There was a war ready to be fought with lead and gundanium. And yet, at the moment, nothing mattered to her more than the war ready to be fought with ideals and habits between Minako and Minako.

Usagi's temper tantrum over the last week or so had brought conflicts within her to a boil until she was ready to overflow with impatience. But, previously, for the sake of her month-long friend, Minako had decided to suppress herself, to control herself – something that she had never tried to do in her life. After all, life was not a game of who could control herself the best; life was about enjoying and rejoicing, even if that sometimes treaded timidly into debauchery.

But it had all come out today. Every little thing she had ever had against this "volunteer work." Every little thing she had had against Usagi. Every little insecurity and doubt she had had about herself. And all those little things accumulated to cause her to snap at Usagi and to commit that horrendous social blunder that will remain engrained in Hiiro's mind for eternity.

What did Hiiro want from them? Why couldn't he just make up his mind so they could all be satisfied? Relena, Usagi, or Minako! Come now, Hiiro, she wanted to scream at him, if Relena goes away, you will still have to choose! There's no use stalling! So why don't you just spit out that you love Usagi and let me return to being an enthusiast instead of a romantic!

She was tired of this. She was tired them. She was just … tired.

Her life was her own. Everything about her was her own. So why should she offer all of her own just to play make-believe? Let's make believe that we're Relena Darlian. Let's make believe that we're … that we're … in love with Hiiro.

Her problems were overwhelming, but they were also her own.

And she … she was all on her own.

…………………

Thank you much for reading. :D Yours, Angel.