SIR TOPHAM HATT'S GOLF GAME

It was just an average, ordinary day on Sodor. The engines were working hard but not a thing exciting had happened. Sir Topham Hatt was in his office reading the paper.

"The Red Soxs beat the Cardinals again..." he mused "Those crazy Americans." He threw the paper off to his side and turned on some music. "What a boring day." he yawned as he heard Henry pull in with the morning train. He was just about ready to fall asleep when he heard the phone ring.

"Hello." he said quietly. "Hey Topham!" the voice on the other line said Sir Topham Hatt instantly recognized him. "Hello Jerry." he said. Jerry was a railway inspector. "So Topham," he said "I was wondering...you up for a game of golf this afternoon at the Sodor Country Club?" Jerry asked. Topham could never resist a nice challenge. "Okay." he said "How about at 2?" "Fine." Jerry said as he hung up. The only problem was that Sir Topham Hatt had never played golf.

Sir Topham Hatt left his office at 1:25 and bought a golf outfit and went home. He went into the attic and grabbed his dad's old clubs. Then he slid downstairs to have a bite to eat.

At about 1:50 his wife came home. "Hello Topham dear!" she said. "Hey." Topham said as he glanced from the TV over to her. "I was home for a while and I made dinner." she said, pointing to a table with turkey, potatoes, corn and other food on it. "Nah, I think I'll just stop at McDonalds on the way home." he said as he walked out the door.

It took him more time than expected to get to the country club. His car had run out of gas and he arrived at 2:25. He got out of his car.

"Stupid car!" he said kicking it. It left a rather nice dent on the side. Jerry walked over. "Ready to golf?" he asked. "Sure, I've done it tons of times." Topham said, lying through his teeth.

They teed off at the first hole. Jerry knocked it a couple feet from the hole and got it in on a two. Sir Topham Hatt on the other hand, knocked it into the lake. "Shoot." he said as he walked over to it. But he didn't notice how muddy it was, and he fell into the lake and was soaked.

He played the hole for a 7. The next two holes he got a 5 and an 8. But trouble struck on hole four. You see, the railroad track ran behind the course. A fence seperated the two. Sir Topham Hatt teed off. By no surprise he hit the ball onto the tracks.

"I'll get it!" he said as he ran off. Jerry just rolled his eyes. He jumped over the fence and onto the line. "Stupid ball." he said as he picked it up. Then he heard a whistle, and looked down the line. James was coming right at him! He jumped over the fence...and into another lake. James laughed while Jerry threw his club down in anger.

They played up until number nine. "Face it Topham." Jerry said, flashing the scorecard "I'm ahead by 55 strokes. You can't beat me." Topham was mad. "WATCH THIS!" he yelled as he swung at the ball. It hit off of a tree and bounced back. Then it hit the club window...breaking it. "SEE YA!" Sir Topham Hatt said as he ran off to his car.

He arrived home an hour later. "I am never playing golf again." he said lowly. He walked into his house. His wife was sitting on the couch, playing GameCube. "Food!" she asked, pointing furiously at the table. "Nah. How about a big mac?"