"Bondage: The state of being bound by or subjected to some external power or control."

The heat of autumn had passed only to be replaced by the chill winds of an imminent winter. The days had become shorter now, and the darkness of night came sooner. But the promise of snow still lay very far away. The world of nature slowly prepared for its time of death among the snow, supported only by the frail hope of rebirth in the spring. Yet even among the dying leaves of fall, flowers still managed to bloom. It was a fact Shinji was beginning to appreciate more and more every day.

He was waiting for Kaworu near the school gates; earlier in the day, the grey-haired boy had asked if he could wait for him after school. Blushing at Kaworu's politeness, he had told the grinning boy that there was no need to ask. Shinji still remained puzzled as to why Kaworu had felt the need to ask his permission for such a trivial thing. No one had ever bothered to do so before. It was a new experience and therefore quite disconcerting. But no matter. He lived now only for Kaworu's smiles.

Things had certainly progressed between the two boys. For instance, they now spent every lunch hour together, enjoying the pleasant conversation that flowed between them. Shinji had never in his life been asked his opinion on anything, and had been rather embarrassed when Kaworu had first done so. But slowly, under the older boy's patient and gentle tutelage, he had begun to express his thoughts more freely than he had ever done before, and was now competent enough to engage in discussion with Kaworu, who was a brilliant conversationalist.

But his newfound social skills were not all that came of his association with Kaworu. It seemed word had gotten out that Ikari Shinji was now "untouchable", meaning that he was under the protection of someone far higher in the school hierarchy than he would ever be. As such, he could not be treated in any manner that could possibly be construed as "disrespectful", for to do so would not only be an insult to Shinji himself, but his guardian as well. Most of his classmates seemed to take this under advisement, and gave him a wider berth.

There had been only one exception to the rule so far, a defiant yet short-lived rebellion against Shinji's new protected status. Suzuhara Toji, much to his classmates's horror and Shinji's chagrin, had knocked him down with a fist to the stomach, resulting in a tear to his uniform and accompanying pain. Toji had dismissed the entire incident, not heeding Kensuke's warnings that he should never have done that. Later that day, when he had eaten lunch with Kaworu, the other boy had noticed his disheveled appearance and asked what had happened. Stammering, Shinji had said that he had fallen. In deep thought for a few moments, Kaworu had then changed the subject, much to Shinji's relief.

A few days later when walking to class, Shinji had spotted Suzuhara turning the corner ahead of him, now sporting a black eye and deep cut on his lower lip. Seeing Shinji, Toji had hastily entered the classroom, avoiding any eye contact between them. To his even greater surprise, Toji continued his policy of avoiding him unless absolutely necessary, and when they were forced to come into contact, had treated Shinji in an almost deferential manner, apparently determined that he leave a good impression. It would have been funny if he hadn't seen the fear in Toji's eyes.

He had asked Kaworu, straining to keep his voice calm, if he was the one who had given Suzuhara his wounds. Smiling sweetly at Shinji, Kaworu had asked if he really believed that he was capable of engaging in a brawl with the likes of Suzuhara. After all, even though he was older, his slender frame paled in comparison to Toji's athletic build. Laughing, he had placed his delicate white hands in Shinji's, saying that the only thing they were good for was playing the violin. Blushing at the fact that he and Kaworu were holding hands, Shinji had managed to stutter out that he thought Kaworu could fight very well if he so chose. Kaworu's response had been a grin, but nothing more.

For a long while now, Shinji had been brooding over the state of his emotions toward Kaworu. It wasn't because of any uncertainty, he was very sure of how he felt toward the grey-haired boy. No, it had been whether he was able to keep them under control and away from Kaworu's discerning glance. The older boy was as perceptive as he was handsome; nothing ever slipped past him, as could be seen from the whole incident with Suzuhara. Truth be told, it was a little frightening, for Shinji lived in fear of the possibility that Kaworu might find out the nature of his feelings toward him, and abandon him because of it. The thought was too nightmarish to entertain for long, and only surfaced late at night when Shinji licked his wounds.

But, would Kaworu really do that? Surely, no one as kind, as gentle as he would ever do such a heartless thing? Shinji prayed that it was so, but at the same time forced himself to realize that he really knew very little about what Kaworu felt about such things and that the worst scenario was probably the most realistic. It nearly always was. Reality was hell.

He was abruptly roused from his thoughts by the sudden appearance of a pair of arms encircling his narrow waist, clutching him towards another, more taller body. Oh, dear.

"Miss me?"

Kaworu's breath was hot against Shinji's ear, causing him to shiver a little. The day had been cold and the body heat of his extremely close companion was a welcome change. Not that he would ever say that out loud, of course. But still, he enjoyed being caught in Kaworu's arms, caught in this embrace that made him feel like they were lovers.

" Always." Shinji felt like he was in a dream, one of the many lovely dreams that he had imagined so long ago, where he lay in Kaworu's arms and Kaworu told him that yes, he loved him, he always would, and that they would never be parted. He felt Kaworu's lips brush softly across his nape.

"I wanted to ask you something." He spoke in a whisper, low enough so that only Shinji could hear.

"Yes?" Shinji was half-awake, lost in this pleasant day-dream that had somehow come true.

"I wondered, if perhaps you would like to..."

"Ikari-kun"

Shinji immediately broke out of Kaworu's clasp at the sound of the voice. He felt rather dazed. What the hell had he been doing? He should never have lain so gently in what had probably been intended only as a friendly gesture. For God's sake, he had practically swooned in Kaworu's arms! Things had gone too far. Unfortunately, he had other matters to attend to at the moment.

Ayanami Rei stood a few feet away, her face devoid of emotion as usual. There was nothing in her glance that indicted any feelings she might have had at witnessing such a very intimate display between the two boys. Instead, she very coldly took in the situation but refrained from speaking. She appeared to be awaiting a response.

"Yes?"

"The director has requested your presence immediately."

"Why?"

"I was not told the reason. I was merely informed that I should bring you to him."

This was not good, this was not good at all. He had no desire to see the director of the school at this moment, or at any other for that matter. That he was not told the reason for this summons only served to heighten his fear.

"But school's already over. He has no right to call Shinji at this time." Kaworu seemed angry over this infringement on the younger boy's freedom.

Ayanami regarded Kaworu with an appraising eye, but remained silent.

"I'll come." There was no point in prolonging this.

"Shinji..."

"I'll see you tomorrow, all right, Kaworu?"

"All right." There was a hint of sadness.

Shinji forced himself not to look back as he followed Ayanami, for fear that he would run back at the sight of Kaworu's face. He needed to be in control, especially after what had transpired back there. One moment of weakness was all it took for him to lose Kaworu forever.

Lost again in unhappy thoughts, Shinji was unaware that they had reached the director's office until Ayanami had said, "Wait here," and went inside. A few minutes later, she emerged and told Shinji that he was able to enter now. As she passed him, Shinji was struck by a dark bruise on Ayanami's neck that he had never seen before. Dear God, if that was what he thought it was...

"Enter."

Upon hearing the command, Shinji hurriedly went in, shutting the door behind him. The room lay in complete and utter darkness, save for a streak of light that came from the half-closed blinds upon the window.

Looking up, Shinji found himself staring into the red-tinted glasses of Ikari Gendo, gloved hands perched upon the large mahogany desk behind which he sat. His father, also the director of his school.

"Take a seat, Shinji."