Oops! This took longer than expected. School started and I'm drowning in
homework! *sobs* However, I will prevail! Chapter 5 is finally here, ne?
Lanae Kou, Kat Jen and Tyler you're up to bat. The Dixie Artist and Lady
Shadowflame (I guess you want to be written in you didn't say.) keep your
eyes pealed you may just find yourself trapped in Chapter 6. Anyone else
who requests, you'll be in my next maniacal advertising campaign!
MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Okay. roll the tape.
Announcer: We interrupt the Super Bowl! For this extremely important infomercial!
Angry Football fans everywhere: HEY! WHAT THE HECK IS YOUR PROBLEM!
Announcer: For your information I am a proud fanfiction author Lane Kou for you information! And I do not have a problem so just sit down and be quiet and cooperate!!
Angry football fans everywhere: *a mob is beginning to form* NO WAY! WE SHOULDA GOTTEN SATTELITE! LET'S GET 'ER! *a mob charges toward the tv*
Lanae Kou: CEASE! *tv viewing rooms all over the world go completely silent and still* *crickets chirp* *sighs* Thank you. As I was saying. here's your infomercial. *smiles*
*scene jumps to a perky Wrecka and a panting Roose running frantically as he struggles to keep up with an out of control treadmill*
Wrecka: Hi I'm Wrecka! And I'm the creator of a revolutionary breakthrough in weight loss technology!! *smiles and looks "innocent"* *audience gasps* I know it's shocking! But thanks to this workout routine I've planned you'll lose weight in no time!
Roose: Yeah! Just look at the difference it made in me! WHOA! *he slips and falls onto the treadmill and is sent hurdling into a nearby wall* Ouch.. *before and after pictures are shown of Roose and the audience Oooh's and Ahh's accordingly*
*the camera shifts back to Wrecka holding up Ooooh! Ahhh signs* *she quickly tosses them away*
Wrecka: *giggling nervously* Ehehehehe. It's great stuff! And Roose isn't the only one raving about it!
Roose: What are you talking about! I hate it! I practically starved! *Wrecka kicks him to shut him up and that comment is poorly edited out*
Wrecka: We'll send you these to wonderful workout videos and diet charts to get you started on your weight loss journey!! *Wrecka holds up videos* For only 10 monthly installments of 19.95. ONLY 19.95!
Roose: Actually it would end up being around 995.95 in the end of the 10 install- *Roose is kicked again and the comment is poorly replaced*
Wrecka: *muttering* Shut up moron! Oh anyway! Here is a another satisfied customer showing their support. *scene shifts to Tyler angrily sitting in front of a camera*
Tyler: Yeah, Wrecka and Roose helped me a lot! I lost 15 pounds in one week. Thank you Wrecka Weight Loss! *camera shows before and after pictures of Tyler and it's obvious it's not even the same person*
Tyler: I said the speech can I have my money now? *camera man chuckles nervously and begins turning the camera back towards Wrecka*
Tyler: HEY! HEY! ANSWER ME YOU DOLT!
*lights up on Wrecka*
Wrecka: And if you buy now we'll even include our Tai Bo video with our famous instructor Kat Jen! Here's a sneak peak! *snippet of video begins to play*
Kat Jen: Greetings citizens! By watching this video you are being trained to be part of my Tai Bo army! You will act upon my every command when I say this word: Okefenokee.
Tai Bo Students: Yes master...
Kat Jen: And that includes our viewers at home to. Punch to the right! *video cuts off* *Wrecka stares at screen blankly*
Roose: No wonder it's free.
Wrecka: Quiet you! SO you get all this great stuff for only 19.95! 10 installments of ONLY 19.95! Order today at 555-555-5556 that's 555-555- 5556.
Tyler: *storming in* MY MONEY! GIMME!
Director: And cut!
Wrecka: Hmph. We'll make millions.
Roose: I'm hungry.
Tyler: MY MONEY!
Director: Speaking of money, *chuckles nervously* Due to reasons I can't explain, your not getting paid today, or tommrow or the day after that. I SPENT ALL YOUR SALARIES! GOTTA GO! *director runs out screaming*
Roose: LET GET HER!!!!! *Wrecka, Roose and Tyler storm after the director all while the camera is rolling*
Wrecka: GET BACK HERE K-CHAN! YOU OWE ME LUNCH!
Tyler: MY MONEY!!!
Cameraman: Not available in stores.
*camera shifts back to our announcer Lanae Kou*
Lanae Kou: We now return to the Super Bowl which is. *glances at her watch* Oh no. It's over! You should've gotten satellite!
Football fans: NOO! THAT'S IT GET HER!
Lanae: CEASE! *silence* *more silence*
Yu: *appears from nowhere* *holds up a sign that says "Silence is golden.*
Random fanfic author known as Cloud: *pointing* THAT'S THAT FREAK WHO ATTACKED ME AT AMC! If we should be mad at anyone we should be mad at HIM! LET'S GET HIM! *Cloud and football fans run after Yu leaving Lanae alone*
Lanae: We now return you to your scheduled programming. Which is the Piolit Candidate Marathon followed by the Lanae Kou Talk Show with scheduled guest Azuma. Goodnight everyone! *Lane waves bye to all her loyal fans and the end*
Who knew weight loss could be so horrifying and painful! Tune in next time when the long awaited commercial with Hiead. Yes our favorite candidate Hiead advertising contacts. Colored contacts. And since there so many requests for it somehow he'll be in his underwear. Now how will I manage that. Hmmm.. Well Review! Please! And you can IM me too! I love to talk! And I'll still take requests and write ins! C ya'll in Chapter 6!
Announcer: We interrupt the Super Bowl! For this extremely important infomercial!
Angry Football fans everywhere: HEY! WHAT THE HECK IS YOUR PROBLEM!
Announcer: For your information I am a proud fanfiction author Lane Kou for you information! And I do not have a problem so just sit down and be quiet and cooperate!!
Angry football fans everywhere: *a mob is beginning to form* NO WAY! WE SHOULDA GOTTEN SATTELITE! LET'S GET 'ER! *a mob charges toward the tv*
Lanae Kou: CEASE! *tv viewing rooms all over the world go completely silent and still* *crickets chirp* *sighs* Thank you. As I was saying. here's your infomercial. *smiles*
*scene jumps to a perky Wrecka and a panting Roose running frantically as he struggles to keep up with an out of control treadmill*
Wrecka: Hi I'm Wrecka! And I'm the creator of a revolutionary breakthrough in weight loss technology!! *smiles and looks "innocent"* *audience gasps* I know it's shocking! But thanks to this workout routine I've planned you'll lose weight in no time!
Roose: Yeah! Just look at the difference it made in me! WHOA! *he slips and falls onto the treadmill and is sent hurdling into a nearby wall* Ouch.. *before and after pictures are shown of Roose and the audience Oooh's and Ahh's accordingly*
*the camera shifts back to Wrecka holding up Ooooh! Ahhh signs* *she quickly tosses them away*
Wrecka: *giggling nervously* Ehehehehe. It's great stuff! And Roose isn't the only one raving about it!
Roose: What are you talking about! I hate it! I practically starved! *Wrecka kicks him to shut him up and that comment is poorly edited out*
Wrecka: We'll send you these to wonderful workout videos and diet charts to get you started on your weight loss journey!! *Wrecka holds up videos* For only 10 monthly installments of 19.95. ONLY 19.95!
Roose: Actually it would end up being around 995.95 in the end of the 10 install- *Roose is kicked again and the comment is poorly replaced*
Wrecka: *muttering* Shut up moron! Oh anyway! Here is a another satisfied customer showing their support. *scene shifts to Tyler angrily sitting in front of a camera*
Tyler: Yeah, Wrecka and Roose helped me a lot! I lost 15 pounds in one week. Thank you Wrecka Weight Loss! *camera shows before and after pictures of Tyler and it's obvious it's not even the same person*
Tyler: I said the speech can I have my money now? *camera man chuckles nervously and begins turning the camera back towards Wrecka*
Tyler: HEY! HEY! ANSWER ME YOU DOLT!
*lights up on Wrecka*
Wrecka: And if you buy now we'll even include our Tai Bo video with our famous instructor Kat Jen! Here's a sneak peak! *snippet of video begins to play*
Kat Jen: Greetings citizens! By watching this video you are being trained to be part of my Tai Bo army! You will act upon my every command when I say this word: Okefenokee.
Tai Bo Students: Yes master...
Kat Jen: And that includes our viewers at home to. Punch to the right! *video cuts off* *Wrecka stares at screen blankly*
Roose: No wonder it's free.
Wrecka: Quiet you! SO you get all this great stuff for only 19.95! 10 installments of ONLY 19.95! Order today at 555-555-5556 that's 555-555- 5556.
Tyler: *storming in* MY MONEY! GIMME!
Director: And cut!
Wrecka: Hmph. We'll make millions.
Roose: I'm hungry.
Tyler: MY MONEY!
Director: Speaking of money, *chuckles nervously* Due to reasons I can't explain, your not getting paid today, or tommrow or the day after that. I SPENT ALL YOUR SALARIES! GOTTA GO! *director runs out screaming*
Roose: LET GET HER!!!!! *Wrecka, Roose and Tyler storm after the director all while the camera is rolling*
Wrecka: GET BACK HERE K-CHAN! YOU OWE ME LUNCH!
Tyler: MY MONEY!!!
Cameraman: Not available in stores.
*camera shifts back to our announcer Lanae Kou*
Lanae Kou: We now return to the Super Bowl which is. *glances at her watch* Oh no. It's over! You should've gotten satellite!
Football fans: NOO! THAT'S IT GET HER!
Lanae: CEASE! *silence* *more silence*
Yu: *appears from nowhere* *holds up a sign that says "Silence is golden.*
Random fanfic author known as Cloud: *pointing* THAT'S THAT FREAK WHO ATTACKED ME AT AMC! If we should be mad at anyone we should be mad at HIM! LET'S GET HIM! *Cloud and football fans run after Yu leaving Lanae alone*
Lanae: We now return you to your scheduled programming. Which is the Piolit Candidate Marathon followed by the Lanae Kou Talk Show with scheduled guest Azuma. Goodnight everyone! *Lane waves bye to all her loyal fans and the end*
Who knew weight loss could be so horrifying and painful! Tune in next time when the long awaited commercial with Hiead. Yes our favorite candidate Hiead advertising contacts. Colored contacts. And since there so many requests for it somehow he'll be in his underwear. Now how will I manage that. Hmmm.. Well Review! Please! And you can IM me too! I love to talk! And I'll still take requests and write ins! C ya'll in Chapter 6!