OH NO! I'm not dead! I'm not severely injured! I'm not gone from this
Earth! I was not reduced to smoldering ashes by an alien laser gun. Which
means the sick and deranged chapters of this story can continue!
Disappointed? I'm sure you are. Two tears for you then. *tear, tear* OKAY!
Enough with the giant welcoming party already, we got some catching up to
do. I'm sorry I haven't been around but my grandmother was and still is
very ill, along with a few other family difficulties. This is still an
ongoing crisis, so please bear with me if updates aren't as frequent. It's
not intentional and I'm trying!!! I was also suffering from writer's block
and severe lack of ideas, which is probably why this chapter which could've
been great is not nearly as good as it should be. Again I apologize my mind
has not been with me for the past month or so. Until I drug my limp body
over to the keyboard to look at my dedicated reviewers to find and IDEA I
could use. IT was then I began madly typing this intro to this chapter.
EDUCATION PAYS WITH AZUMA! Thank you, Ekira. You are a genius. Flowers for
you! And yes you can guest star. But there's a waiting list. For marvelous
Chapter 9 Mika and Lalita, you're up! And for Chapter 10 we have two of my
very strange friends ChaosandEvil01 (Yo!) and GurlFistFighterMina (let's
shorten that to Mina.). And for the big Chapter 11 Finale! Oh my gosh it's
gonna be the end?! Erika and anyone else who wants to join the insanity.
There's no limit to the number in the grand finale. And it's not even a
commercial it's a road trip to go film a commercial. Oooooooooooh. And I'll
even be in that last chapter and as a bonus in a review type what sort of
torture you would like me to undergo for ruining your lives in my fiction.
Enough of the rambling, it's time for us to get some edumucation. ROLL THE
TAPE!
*lights come up on a city street where an ambulance whizzes by and kids a playing good ol' fashion street basketball*
Azuma: Hello Azuma here. Look here are they city streets. And I have here with me a boy. Some said he was beyond help. Some said he was just plain stupid. BUT I DIDN'T BELIEVE THAT! Why with a little schooling this boy could be the next the next. ME!
Yamagi: Yo! What up dawg?! Am I on TV! A shout out to my homies on the East side! Class of 06 ALL DA WAY!!!
Azuma: *shoving Yamagi behind him* This boy is not beyond help. What you make on your report card kid?
Yamagi: D's and F's! My highest grade was a 70! I passed yo!
Azuma: *mumbling* This is gonna be harder than I thought. *he smokes a cigarette in frustration*
Yamagi: EY MAN! Smoking is bad! Gimee that! *Yamagi grabs the cigarette and stomps it out* DIE PRODUCT OF DEATH! DIE!!!
Azuma: HOW DARE YOU! I AM YOUR SUPIEROR!
Yamagi: Says who?????
Azuma: SAYS ME!!! *a violent fight ensues in which the camera is thrown over the lens cracks and the cameraman is seen fleeing in another direction*
*lights come up again, a new cameraman and camera are in place*
Lalita: HI!!!!!! LIKE! LIKE! HI! I'm the like Education pays like spokesperson. We've liked helped um. thousands of children to like READ n' stuff! Yeah! *giggles madly*
*a huge chart flies in from out of nowhere*
Chart: I'm a chart!
Lalita: Like duh! Be quiet chart so I can read you!
Chart: I have numbers on me!
Lalita: Obviously. Now shut up..
Chart: Why?! I'm a pretty chart!
Lalita: Like so. No one cares they're paying to see me not a stupid chart! Like dudes we need another chart! This one's stupid!
Chart: I'm not stupid! I'm a chart! I have numbers on me! I'm a pretty chart!
Lalita: OH BE QUIET!!!!!! STUPID THING!!!! *Lalita kicks chart*
Chart: Chart is angry! CHART ANGRY!
Lalita: SO WHAT?! As I was like saaaaaaaying we've helped children all around. GOA's most like advanced pilots went through our program! This chart obviously didn't go through the program, that's why it's so like. dumb! *giggles madly once more*
Chart: Chart's have feelings too! *Chart cries*
Onlookers: Awwwwwwwwwwww......
Lalita: Please.
Chart: Chart angry! *Chart tackles Lalita wraps her up with it's "chartish" powers and throws itself and Lalita down a hill*
Lalita: LIKE AAAAAAAH! I don't like hills. I don't like rolling. And I DON'T LIKE ROLLING DOWN LIKE HILLS!!! AAAAAH! Camera guys! Like MOVE!
*Lalita wrapped in the chart rolls into the camera equipment (and cameramen) tossing everything every which way like they're bowling pins*
Cameraman: Day 10 of Education pays project. Failed. Camera crew destroyed. Agent Lalita still rolling down Main street. *cameraman reaches towards camera and collapses*
*Several days and camera crew later*
Azuma: *his arm is in a sling* Education Pays is a wonderful program. We've decided to stick with safer tactics and just so you before and afters of our best students!
Yamagi: *pointing* That's the guy! THE ONE WHO SAID I WAS BEYOND SAVING!!!
Yamagi's mob of short people: Let's get em'! CHARGE!!!
Azuma: No! *tosses his cigarette away and runs* THIS IS NOT HOW YOU RESPECT YOUR SENIORS!!!! ROLL THE TAPE!
Yamagi: Smoking is bad!!!! After him boys!!!
*The screen switches to a prerecorded tape*
*a small little child who by some miracle of gawd has kept her sanity strolls up to the fallen camera*
Prerecorded tape: Stop kicking me! Stop ruining my prerecordedness!!!
Mika: No mercy for the tape people must know what happened to their education reform friends!!! *Mika continues abusing the tape*
Prerecorded tape: Aaah! Mercy! I'm slipping from my recorded previously state! NOOOOOOO! *prerecorded tape snaps off and Mika's eye can be seen in the camera*
Mika: Hey is this thing on? Ooooooooooooooh! I can see myself.. What does this button do???
Fallen Cameraman: Noo. Anything but that button!!!
Mika: Why?
Fallen Cameraman: Because it's not good little girl not good at all.
Mika: Why?
Fallen Cameraman: Because it's a destructive button..
Mika: Why?
Cameraman: BECAUSE I STINKIN SAID SO FER CRYIN OUT LOUD!!!!
Mika: *sniffling* Gee Mr. YOU'RE SO MEAN TO MEEEEEEEEE!!!! *begins wailing*
Cameraman: Please.
Mika: *grinning madly* Meaning I'll push the button! *Mika slams her fist on the red button*
*INSERET STATIC AND LOTS OF IT*
*a small line of words trails across the screen*
Operation Education Pays.... TOTAL FAILURE.
That took an unreasonable amount of time and as I go back and read it, it wasn't very good. I again apologize for my lack of assertiveness in getting these updates up. I promise the next chapter will hopefully be up by the end of this week. And then the grand finale after that! The end is near my dear friends. The next chapter seems to be funnier than this it's for the Neurolizer (the thing the use in Men In Black to erase your memory. yeah that thing). It's proving to be an insane little thing. Someone gets to spontaneously turn into a snow otter. Well I'm sorry for this crappy chapter my sense of humor was knocked dry for quite a few days due to excessive homework and illness in the family. Again you're author apologizes and hopes that this shall not happen again. Toodles till next time! ^_^ READ AND REVIEW! Ideas, suggestions, wanna be written in, ways for me to go through strange acts of pain in the final chapter? Include one or more of one of the items on that list IN YOUR REVIEW! So why are you standing here?? Go, go! REVIEW!
*lights come up on a city street where an ambulance whizzes by and kids a playing good ol' fashion street basketball*
Azuma: Hello Azuma here. Look here are they city streets. And I have here with me a boy. Some said he was beyond help. Some said he was just plain stupid. BUT I DIDN'T BELIEVE THAT! Why with a little schooling this boy could be the next the next. ME!
Yamagi: Yo! What up dawg?! Am I on TV! A shout out to my homies on the East side! Class of 06 ALL DA WAY!!!
Azuma: *shoving Yamagi behind him* This boy is not beyond help. What you make on your report card kid?
Yamagi: D's and F's! My highest grade was a 70! I passed yo!
Azuma: *mumbling* This is gonna be harder than I thought. *he smokes a cigarette in frustration*
Yamagi: EY MAN! Smoking is bad! Gimee that! *Yamagi grabs the cigarette and stomps it out* DIE PRODUCT OF DEATH! DIE!!!
Azuma: HOW DARE YOU! I AM YOUR SUPIEROR!
Yamagi: Says who?????
Azuma: SAYS ME!!! *a violent fight ensues in which the camera is thrown over the lens cracks and the cameraman is seen fleeing in another direction*
*lights come up again, a new cameraman and camera are in place*
Lalita: HI!!!!!! LIKE! LIKE! HI! I'm the like Education pays like spokesperson. We've liked helped um. thousands of children to like READ n' stuff! Yeah! *giggles madly*
*a huge chart flies in from out of nowhere*
Chart: I'm a chart!
Lalita: Like duh! Be quiet chart so I can read you!
Chart: I have numbers on me!
Lalita: Obviously. Now shut up..
Chart: Why?! I'm a pretty chart!
Lalita: Like so. No one cares they're paying to see me not a stupid chart! Like dudes we need another chart! This one's stupid!
Chart: I'm not stupid! I'm a chart! I have numbers on me! I'm a pretty chart!
Lalita: OH BE QUIET!!!!!! STUPID THING!!!! *Lalita kicks chart*
Chart: Chart is angry! CHART ANGRY!
Lalita: SO WHAT?! As I was like saaaaaaaying we've helped children all around. GOA's most like advanced pilots went through our program! This chart obviously didn't go through the program, that's why it's so like. dumb! *giggles madly once more*
Chart: Chart's have feelings too! *Chart cries*
Onlookers: Awwwwwwwwwwww......
Lalita: Please.
Chart: Chart angry! *Chart tackles Lalita wraps her up with it's "chartish" powers and throws itself and Lalita down a hill*
Lalita: LIKE AAAAAAAH! I don't like hills. I don't like rolling. And I DON'T LIKE ROLLING DOWN LIKE HILLS!!! AAAAAH! Camera guys! Like MOVE!
*Lalita wrapped in the chart rolls into the camera equipment (and cameramen) tossing everything every which way like they're bowling pins*
Cameraman: Day 10 of Education pays project. Failed. Camera crew destroyed. Agent Lalita still rolling down Main street. *cameraman reaches towards camera and collapses*
*Several days and camera crew later*
Azuma: *his arm is in a sling* Education Pays is a wonderful program. We've decided to stick with safer tactics and just so you before and afters of our best students!
Yamagi: *pointing* That's the guy! THE ONE WHO SAID I WAS BEYOND SAVING!!!
Yamagi's mob of short people: Let's get em'! CHARGE!!!
Azuma: No! *tosses his cigarette away and runs* THIS IS NOT HOW YOU RESPECT YOUR SENIORS!!!! ROLL THE TAPE!
Yamagi: Smoking is bad!!!! After him boys!!!
*The screen switches to a prerecorded tape*
*a small little child who by some miracle of gawd has kept her sanity strolls up to the fallen camera*
Prerecorded tape: Stop kicking me! Stop ruining my prerecordedness!!!
Mika: No mercy for the tape people must know what happened to their education reform friends!!! *Mika continues abusing the tape*
Prerecorded tape: Aaah! Mercy! I'm slipping from my recorded previously state! NOOOOOOO! *prerecorded tape snaps off and Mika's eye can be seen in the camera*
Mika: Hey is this thing on? Ooooooooooooooh! I can see myself.. What does this button do???
Fallen Cameraman: Noo. Anything but that button!!!
Mika: Why?
Fallen Cameraman: Because it's not good little girl not good at all.
Mika: Why?
Fallen Cameraman: Because it's a destructive button..
Mika: Why?
Cameraman: BECAUSE I STINKIN SAID SO FER CRYIN OUT LOUD!!!!
Mika: *sniffling* Gee Mr. YOU'RE SO MEAN TO MEEEEEEEEE!!!! *begins wailing*
Cameraman: Please.
Mika: *grinning madly* Meaning I'll push the button! *Mika slams her fist on the red button*
*INSERET STATIC AND LOTS OF IT*
*a small line of words trails across the screen*
Operation Education Pays.... TOTAL FAILURE.
That took an unreasonable amount of time and as I go back and read it, it wasn't very good. I again apologize for my lack of assertiveness in getting these updates up. I promise the next chapter will hopefully be up by the end of this week. And then the grand finale after that! The end is near my dear friends. The next chapter seems to be funnier than this it's for the Neurolizer (the thing the use in Men In Black to erase your memory. yeah that thing). It's proving to be an insane little thing. Someone gets to spontaneously turn into a snow otter. Well I'm sorry for this crappy chapter my sense of humor was knocked dry for quite a few days due to excessive homework and illness in the family. Again you're author apologizes and hopes that this shall not happen again. Toodles till next time! ^_^ READ AND REVIEW! Ideas, suggestions, wanna be written in, ways for me to go through strange acts of pain in the final chapter? Include one or more of one of the items on that list IN YOUR REVIEW! So why are you standing here?? Go, go! REVIEW!