(Last chapter. O.O; I actually finished it! Yay! I'm sorry it took me a year and a half! XD )
Chapter 9: Departure and Memories.
"Punish me, I let you down. As I come near… the end is here. Eternal darkness is mine. I'm left to suffer... This I accept." Mental Repression - Eighteen Visions
Your internship was over, and I tried to walk you to the front gate… but someone called me... I remember having to fight off the feeling of love, the one that I made you forget. You turned around and thanked me for helping you. All I did was grunt and tell you goodbye. I wished you good luck and I turned around. And just like that, you were out of my hands forever. I walked back inside without a word, Momiji was so quiet… I hardly even took notice to his presence. I told myself to wake up, that I was just having a nightmare. I pinched myself a few times… and I realized that I wasn't dreaming. And I started to cry. I had never felt so upset. So sad, so full of anguish… I'd never felt that way. And I never want to feel it again. But if I could do it all again without the mistakes I made… I would do it. But I know I can't. So forever… I will remain frozen.
"Thank you so much! From what I learned from you will be my pride as a doctor! Er… well… after I finish school…" Kana was up, out of bed, and bouncing around in the office. He just gave her a blank, professional, Hatori-like look. They began walking down the hallway silently and Hatori felt the nosy eyes of the Sohma family upon their backs. He could hear the whispers of gossip echoing down the hallways… but he ignored it and kept on walking. Once Kana was gone… he could get on with his life… He walked with her, trying to ignore the pain that constantly throbbed and ate away at him.
"Hatori-san!" a woman called, "Akito-sama wants to see you." Hatori turned around, as did Kana.
"Thank you once again, Hatori-san! You taught me so much! Thank you so much for your help!" Kana said with a smile. Hatori gave a grunt. "Goodbye, Hatori-san! Thank you!"
"Goodbye, Kana. Good luck," Hatori replied, he began to walk back to the house. Not even looking back at her.
"Hatori-san… Akito has decided that he does not wish to see you at the moment." Hatori sighed.
"Fine." He began to walk to his house and tears began to form in his eyes. He quietly closed the door to his house, then pinched himself.
"It's a dream, Hatori…" he told himself, silently. "You're… having a nightmare…" He pinched himself a few more times before silently breaking down and crying. He sunk to his knees and leaned his head on the couch cushion. "She's gone…"
…
It was only later that I told myself to stop crying. I had to be cruel to myself to be kind to you. I had release you. I never wanted to let you go. But I knew I had to.
You are my only love, Kana. And I will probably not find another lover.
You are my warm spring sun, Kana. But I'll never be able to say that to your face anymore. Your locket and engagement ring are in my desk drawer. The memories I hold…
I refuse to let them bleed away… I refuse to let them fade out of my mind. They will stay with me. Forever frozen. Like an endless winter in my mind.
I want to keep my memories forever. The time we shared together is important to me, Kana.
And that is why the snow never melts.