Summary: It's been a few days since that fateful night of Julie's charity party and Seth and Marissa haven't even crossed each other path. But when Marissa accepts Seth's invitation to hang and play video games the dynamics between them change even more.

Story Notes: This takes place a few days after the last act. Despite what you may get from the summary Seth and Marissa do not interact together in this act. When you read you'll understand. This act also includes an appearance from Summer.

Story title taken from the song "Lonely and Free" by Joe Beleznay. Check his official web site for lyrics.

Disclaimer: Still don't own me any O.C.

Feedback Notes: Thanks for your reviews. We are hitting the mother load here now. I'd really appreciate your comments. Let me know how I'm doing. These are some of the more crucial acts and I don't want to screw them up.

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It had been days since Marissa and Seth had even crossed each other's path. The only time Seth went out of the house was to run favors for his mother or to take a therapeutic trip to the comic store. The last he was there he stared endlessly at a poster for Comic-Con.

It had been his mission since he gave up on, or rather was fired, from the Comic Book firm that was publishing "Atomic County", to make the big trip this year. He had longed for Ryan to come along. He even wanted Zach to come along. But they were both living distinctively different lives right now. It was clear that if he were to go he'd be going alone. Sure Marissa had offered, but he kind of took that as null and void since she bolted from their almost kiss.

Now he sat endlessly in his black swivel chair. His eyes were glued to the screen of his computer, which surprisingly wasn't on the registration page for Comic-Con. It was the registration page for a short, two-week, drawing workshop tailored for comic book illustrators. Every year a distant, but still neighboring, university held a number of summer workshops. The last group of classes was just a short time before Seth's senior year was to begin.

He hadn't entertained signing-up. He never had. But when his world started to change and the dynamic between him and Marissa was too much to handle he suddenly gave it a thought.

-- - --- -- ---- --- -----

Marissa was a little shocked when she received a call from Seth yesterday. He had said that he just wanted to hang at Ryan's pool house and play video games. 'What adventure that would have been' she sarcastically thought to herself.

She stood in the pool house cautiously and impatient. Marissa looked out through the open and clear glass windows and doors and focused her thoughts on the empty pool. Its waters calmed her.

But the seconds were growing to minutes and she was seriously beginning to wonder if Seth was even going to show himself. She was far too nervous and down right scared to go and track him down herself. She didn't want to seem too eager or desperate. So there she foolishly stood and remained.

-- - --- -- ---- --- -----

Seth's fingers nervously fumbled over his mouse and his body started to tremble. He paced in his chair desperately wanting a clear-cut answer to pop into his head.

Would he be a man for running off to this workshop where they just happened to offer on-campus housing? Or would he be a man by facing Marissa and his feelings, maybe even finally confronting what happed that night on their moonlight walk?

He thought long and hard about the first option. Sure, on the surface it looked like the cowards way out. But when he reassessed he saw an opportunity, a chance to protect their fragile relationships and friendship's. He was convinced if he left and then came back all his romantic feelings for Marissa would placate. And Marissa would in turn return to her old self. She'd spend all her time with Summer, maybe even hang with Ryan more, and Seth, well he'd just be a footnote in her history. Once again he'd just be the sideline friend, the person she acknowledged but never really cared about.

The thought of it made him freeze and tense up. This wasn't what he really wanted, but he feared the other side even more.

-- - --- -- ---- --- -----

Marissa was getting frustrated and bored. But for Seth she was willing to hold out. She knew she couldn't run from him forever. She had to face him face-to-face. Whether it was through a few rounds of Tony Hawke's Pro Skater or having a heated discussion. She hopped it was the first. She hopped they could magically return to the friendship they first built on.

She decided to make use of her free time by plopping her ass on Ryan's couch and maybe attempting a few games of whatever was in the Play Station console. She defiantly could use a bit of practice. She had quite the handy cap when it came to video games.

But she never got that far. As her body came down on the couch she felt a semi-sharp object hit her ass. It was nothing more than an exposed part of a game pad. She sighed and then threw it to the ground. What had surrounded it were mountains of clothes and other random things. Comics, Twinkies, coffee cups, a half eaten bagel. Ryan hadn't been spending much time in his pool house lately, but it was clear Seth was.

She shuffled her way through the mess to find the other game pad. She tossed dirty socks. She threw sweaty shirts. And she didn't touch any underwear or boxers. She left them in position as she hoped they wouldn't come in contact with any exposed skin.

"God, this place is a mess. But…. I knew it! He does wear the red Spiderman underwear," Marissa said as she eyed a pair hanging half off the couch.

She continued to tidy up the couch as much as she could. She was at least trying to make it presentable, but for whom? Perhaps just herself as Seth had still not entered the pool house. She sighed, again. But her attentions shifted when she turned away and heard a thud. Marissa turned back and noticed that Seth's sketchbook had fallen off the edge of the couch.

The book laid there, on the floor, in a most revealing pose.

-- - --- -- ---- --- -----

He moved back and forth, his hands almost swaying. He was even muttering muffled words. He was torn and his thoughts went back and forth. To go or not to go, that was the question.

A part of him badly wanted to run to Marissa right now, to just hold her, kiss her and have her tell him everything was alright and that they could get through this together.

But Seth had many fears about rejection. He had it in his mind to just turn and run the other way, straight into the comforts of an art workshop.

Seth's eyes traveled over to the clock. He paused and then looked at his own watch. Something was gnawing at him. Something he was forgetting. But he was too self-absorbed in his own issues and questions to even remember that he should have been hanging with Marissa in the pool house right now.

-- - --- -- ---- --- -----

She couldn't believe it. There in front of her view were drawings of her and Seth. They were not as Summer had foolishly described them, just the two of them as a superhero team. There were sketches of the Ironist gazing at her from afar, the two of them locked in the hands and the eyes. And on the final pages were frames exploring how tortured Seth was over his feelings for Cosmo Girl. But it was glaringly obvious this wasn't a matter of creative adjustments. Seth was putting his thoughts and feelings into his work. After all, he was always most ego driven and personally obsessive with Atomic County over anything else. Not even Summer could come before his ways with the black ink.

She had shuttered to think he could be this expressive in his drawings. She was shocked he never came clean and worse yet played the part of dotting friend over the last number of weeks. But as she glanced over the frames and backtracked she noticed something. There was a gradual progression of their friendship and his feelings. This wasn't something that happened over night. But when it did hit, it was sudden, and without a manual. Seth was clearly confused and the only way to release his thoughts were on paper.

Her mind raced with emotion. She mentally paused on their most memorable moments, being there for each other after their respective break-ups, their classic home dates and Jenga matches, and some where along the way a romantic rendezvous in the sprinklers at the hidden away office park. And then it hit her; it was a romantic rendezvous whether either of them intended it that way or not.

Marissa was lost in the sketches and she was staring blankly in the settings before her. Her fingers traced the pages and then she was brought back to reality.

"Coop?"

Summer passed through the pool house doors and came over to Marissa. She paused.

Summer's voice pulled Marissa from her trance. She paused for a second and then shifted her head towards her.

"Summer, hey," Marissa said in a hushed tone.

Her thoughts were beginning to wander again. She was loosing herself in the prospect of what Seth was feeling for her and the processing of what it all meant to her.

Summer could tell, just by the look on her face, that she was battling with something so grand. When Summer looked down at the sketchpad it all became clear. Marissa was discovering the truth and opening a door.

Marissa was back to staring into the distance. There was nothing there to distract her, but she longed to find something to focus on.

"Talk to Cohen. Go to him Coop," Summer said with sincerity.

As Marissa processed Summer's words she was jilted out of her trance. She was surprised Summer would even go so far as to suggest they talk about what was in these frames and drawings. She was sure Summer knew exactly what they hinted at even if she had only viewed the book a few weeks back.

"You should of told me Summer," Marissa said trying to focus her energy on misplaced anger.

"One day you have to figure things out on your own." "Plus, it's not like you were all that honest about your friendship, how much time you were spending with Cohen."

"I didn't think it mattered, I didn't think…"

"He'd fall for you? Or perhaps you'd fall for him."

Marissa turned away quickly. She didn't want Summer to see any visible sign that she was telling the truth. Marissa wasn't really sure if she was, but the words impacted her non-the-less.

"Hmm." "But you know I'll be here for you. And God, don't think for one second this is about me. I could never be mad at you for falling for Cohen. It's an easy thing to do.," Summer said as she sincerely smiled.

Marissa's mind raced and her heart was beating fast and hard. She was almost cracking under the pressure that was being putting on her.

"So go to Cohen, talk with him and work this out. God, I could see it in you for a little while now. His friendship means the world to you. For that reason alone go to him."

Marissa turned to Summer and locked with her eyes. In a moment of panic she dropped the book of sketches in Summer's hands.

"If you see Seth can you give this to him."

And with that, Marissa turned away. Summer knew there was nothing more she could say. Marissa had made up her mind. She wouldn't or perhaps she just couldn't face this now.

-- - --- -- ---- --- -----

A click of the mouse was heard. Seth hurried his fingers to the sleep button on his Mac and the screen went black before anyone, the invisible forces, could get a look at what was on the screen.

He sighed and moved back in his chair. In his hand he clenched a Jenga piece. He looked over to the clock and then shifted the piece in between his fingers.

He paused for a moment reflecting on their routine Jenga games. He smiled, but quickly halted it. He couldn't allow himself to grin for too long.

Once again his eyes drifted to the clock. And then it hit him. He had finally made the tentative step of hanging with Marissa again. He was supposed to be meeting her right now, in the pool house.

"Shit! God, what the hell am I doing?"

He jumped from his seat, ran down stairs and headed for the pool house. A part of him prayed to Jesus she was still there, that she hadn't bolted because of his incompetence and forgetfulness. The other part of him prayed to God and Moses that she had in fact bolted. This way he didn't have to deal with the awkwardness of seeing her for the first since that fateful evening. It was his Jewish guilt that kicked in so he muttered one more prayer to God and Moses.

-- - --- -- ---- --- -----

Seth rushed through the pool house and frantically turned himself in circles looking for Marissa.

"Cohen!"

He was brought to a standstill.

"Summer," Seth said as his eyes glazed.

He was a bit taken back to see her standing in the pool house.

"Marissa I was suppose to, we were, video games and such."

"She knows Cohen."

Seth wondered in his mind what she meant and then his eyes came down on his "Atomic County" book that rested in her hands. His eyes locked. He stood stunned and shell shocked.

"We're you just going to hide the truth from her forever?"

Seth said nothing and brought his face down towards the ground.

"You need to go to her, talk this out."

"Talk it out? Talk what out? There's too much talking and not enough practical practice."

"What?"

"Nothing. Never mind." "Summer…"

Summer tensed up and then smiled at Seth.

"I'm so sorry," Seth said in a tentative voice.

Summer was perplexed. She was starting to feel Seth was blaming himself maybe even becoming a bit too beaten up over her having to be on the outside of this. She walked over to Seth and took his hands.

He was a bit surprised but he welcomed the embrace. His eyes peered down like a lost and lonely puppy dog.

"Shit Cohen, you really know how to beat yourself up."

"So you're not hurt, not pissed, not…"

"You could of told me, I mean you both could of came clean with this perfect little friendship of yours." "I was thinking we were all just falling apart. I never stopped to think, to think that you and Marissa were…"

"Just friends, that's all."

"Cohen."

"What?"

"I wasn't implying anything. But those sketches. I've seen some of them."

"It doesn't matter. I'm leaving."

Summer was startled.

"Shit, Cohen. Leaving? Pulling a repeat of last summer. That's not cool."

"No, wait, no, not permanently. Just for a few weeks, to clear my head. Maybe pretend the events of the last few weeks never happened."

Summer sighed.

"Look, Cohen, I'm on the outside looking in. Maybe I shouldn't even be dispensing advice. Ryan, me, we've all faded away from you. There were reasons. Even I know that now. Anyway, you were there for her and she was…"

"I know. I can't explain it, but I know."

His head lifted slightly.

"She deserves to have a friend as great as you," Summer replied.

Seth's head came down again as the words processed in his head. Summer was giving little indication that she was pushing him to pursue Marissa romantically. It was more than clear Marissa never confided in here about their hand holding, the electric glances, the intimate dances and of course that moment where Seth wanted nothing more than to have his lips press against hers.

"And Ryan," Seth said in a weary voice.

For a moment Summer said nothing. She was uncertain of Ryan's reaction to all that was going on around him as he worked as a caring father. She knew she couldn't speak on Ryan's behalf, but she attempted to anyway, just to ease Seth's mind.

"You look over her. You protect her. He would want that."

Summer looked at Seth and then wrapped her arms around him in a comforting embrace.

"I'm your friend now Cohen. Don't you ever forget that or I'll do you some serious harm."

Seth sighed and released a partial smile.

His mind was cluttered. His body's posturing was showing how disconcerted he was. He wasn't sure whether to run from Summer's unexpectedly reassuring arms and straight to Marissa. He wasn't sure whether he made the right choice when he fiddled on his computer and contemplated the art workshop. He wasn't really sure of much. But he knew he was warn down and on edge.

And there was one other thing he was sure of. He missed her. He missed her smile. He missed her laugh. He missed her casual touch. He missed the way her warm, calming, breath breathed against the side of his face when they had danced. The list continued but he stopped himself from letting the things he missed clutter in his head. It would only wear him down more and make his decisions even harder to make.

Seth slowly pulled away from Summer and warily looked into Summer's eyes. His hands fell to his side and his head came back down. He was too fragile to make a concrete thought or decision. But he had to. He quickly turned away from Summer and paused.

"I have to go," Seth said in an indecisive tone.

Summer watched as he walked out the pool house and paced back and forth till he made his way inside the Cohen house. She sighed and then headed out the back doors when Seth was lost from her site. She knew there was nothing more she could say or do so she went home.

-- - --- -- ---- --- -----

He was now back inside the house. Seth caught his breath and rested his back against the sidewall in the kitchen. He was restless and tired. His mind had asked too many questions and he wasn't getting any definitive answers. He fretted over what steps he should take next.

His hand moved into his pants pocket and pulled out a hand written letter. He had forgotten that he had written it. His mind was so displaced that he had a hard time remembering a lot of things today.

In it he had written many of the things he wanted to tell her but couldn't. And of course it also said goodbye. It tried to explain why he was running away and why things had to change when he returned.

If Marissa had been there when he came to the pool house he would of played along. He would of kept his fingers fixed to a game pad, his eyes fixed to the screen, his mouth uttering nothing more than cocky remarks about beating her at whatever game they were playing. And when she wasn't looking he'd slip the note in her purse and let the letter do all the talking for him. But she had left before his plan could come into motion. His only course of action now was to go to Marissa's place and leave the note in her bedroom, hoping, praying, she wouldn't be there.