Chapter Twenty Four

Jagged Amber

Card Captor Sakura

-starjade

Decisions

" Choose," Syaoran repeated incredulously, raising his face to meet those of the elders, showing them all what he felt about their little proposition. Sakura felt her heart clench and she watched as his jaw worked furiously as if he was trying to prevent himself from lashing out and hurting anyone within a five mile radius.

" Yes, Xiao-Lang," The elder said, firmly. His gaze flitted to Sakura, who was rooted in the same spot, frozen with surprise and astonishment. He then looked back to Syaoran, an expression of assurance on his face.

" Those are BULLSHIT choices," Syoaran roared, his expression one of fury. His voice echoed in the incensed room, bouncing off the walls with tremendous energy." I'm still getting married to Yen no matter WHAT I do?"

The elder nodded, solemnly, their expressions not twitching despite Syaoran's livid retorts. " We made a promise, on behalf of the Li clan and on its honour, we cannot go back on it-"

" Yeah, compromise my happiness for your honour. I get it," Syoaran scoffed, his eyes blazing. " Never stopped to think how fucking selfish that is, did you?"

The elders seemed to all inhale sharply after Syaoran's words. The one who was speaking seemed to grow larger as his eyes flashed with rage. " I will not tolerate that sort of profanity in such a holy abode!" The elder hissed.

Syaoran snapped, in the same voice and tone, " Well, I won't tolerate those kinds of choices!"

" Then, we both agree that you forego your right to choose. We will choose for you-"

" No wait!"

Syaoran and the elder's turned, looking rather astonished at Sakura's outbreak. It almost seemed as if they had forgotten she was there, listening the argument with growing fear and fury. Sakura was staring at the group, absolute frustration reflecting on her face. Sakura really could not take this argument. This was Syaoran's family. She remembered clearly his dreams, his goals, the promise that one day, he would live up to his father's expectations and she knew how important it was to him.

And since she had swept through his life, she had toppled all of those dreams with one confession.

He doesn't need this, she thought to herself, sadness spreading through her body. He doesn't need to risk everything for me.

, she thought to herself, sadness spreading through her body.

" I'll choose," Sakura exhaled, her green eyes meeting those of the elder's with steadfast determination. " I'll choose for Syoaran."

Syaoran's mouth worked, as if he was trying to say something but an unknown object had blocked any rational thought to escape through his mouth.

The elder's, however, looked rather amused. The leader said, laughter clear in his voice, " You'll choose? You, a middle class girl with hardly any status to even be speaking to us, will make one of the biggest choices the future heir of our clan must make?"

Sakura rose her chin, defiantly and stepped further into the room, slowly. Looking around herself with apprehension, at the statues and incense, the gold and red colours that pronounced the temple, she fought with herself to stay strong. Squaring her shoulders, she walked straight up to the elders, attempting to look more brave then she actually felt.

" Y-Yes," Sakura responded, trying to fight the shakiness in her voice. " I'll choose. But the choices are hardly fair. I would rather think...that a fair choice would be that he can still be the heir to the clan...but not have to marry Yen...but he doesn't...have to-"

She stopped and breathed and looked at the elder square in the eye. " He doesn't have to be with me."

The elder's looked skeptical. Sakura hurriedly filled in, " I'll go back to Japan. He doesn't have to be near me. I'll leave. Just-please-don't force him to marry someone he doesn't love. And don't force him to choose between his goal and me. It's just not...worth it."

Syaoran growled, " You little bitch! You don't even know what your talking about!"

Sakura whirled on him and cried, " I do know what I'm talking about Syaoran! You're not thinking clearly, this is all you ever wanted since the day you were born! Who am I to take that away from you?"

There was silence in the temple and Sakura, fighting an onslaught of tears, walked unhurriedly to Syaoran and placed a hand on his cheek. His eyes fluttered close and then shot open with a jolt of resolve.

" Sakura," He whispered, his voice hard and angry. Sakura felt her heart melt at the sound of her voice from his lips. " You don't know what's best for me, alright? So keep your nosy head out of my business."

Sakura smiled. As much as he spoke callous words and cussed and swore at her, she had begun to be able to read underneath his brash outlook and see the meaning underneath. He didn't want to leave her yet he couldn't give up his family...his honour...or his clan..

The elder cut in, " If you leave forever and never show your face here again, the Elders...will accept this proposition. But only if you leave right now. At this very moment."

Sakura felt her body flush with a coldness she wasn't quite sure came from. Keeping her breath in and attempting not to reveal the turmoil her emotions were going through, she looked once more at Syaoran. Her heart ached. Just moments ago...just hours ago, she had realized that maybe he...maybe he felt the same way for her that she did for him..

But now, all of it was going down the drain. But she couldn't be selfish. She couldn't think of herself. Besides, she had done what she had meant to do. She had...gotten through to Syoaran, helped him to feel, helped him to be the person she always knew he was. Yet, her dreams of being with him would not come to reality. He had a duty that he had been working towards all his life and she shouldn't-she WOULDN'T let herself get between it.

Looking intently at Syaoran, she nodded slightly. " Alright."

Syaoran's jaw dropped, disbelief enveloping his features. He stepped, furiously towards Sakura and grabbed her arms. " Sakura, you can't! Do you have any idea-what the fuck-"

" Syaoran, please-"

" You said-you said all those words, what the hell-" His thoughts were a jumble and Sakura knew it. Softly, she rose herself on her toes and pressed her lips against his forehead. It calmed him down but the hurt and shock were still on his face.

He had begun to show his emotions and Sakura knew she had helped him. That was enough for her. No matter how much she wanted to stay with him...be with him...feel him near her, feel everything...

It was impossible.

" It's alright. It's okay," She breathed out, her eyes burning with tears. " This is your clan. Your father entrusted all of this to you. I'm not going to take that away from you. Just remember...I-"

" Your not fucking leaving me-" He began to shout but Sakura was already backing away from him.

If I leave now..

I won't have to see his pain..

I won't show him my tears..

And everything.. will...work out...in the end...

" I...I love you.." She finally whispered and twisted on her heel, turning away from him. Then she ran out of the temple, running and running, ignoring his shouts, and ran to the car that was waiting out front. Opening the door and climbing in, she cried, breathlessly, " Go, go, go!"

The car began to move and she saw, with tear filled eyes, Syoaran running out of the temple and his head whipping about wildly but knowing, he couldn't see...couldn't see her leaving him...

And she turned around and looked straight ahead, blinking hard. The driver of the car looked at her, eyebrows raised.

" One of those men in the temple gave me this," He said, handing the envelope to Sakura. Sakura could hardly keep her head above the drowning waters of despair and silently accepted the envelope, mechanically opening it.

Inside the envelope was a ticket back to Japan, scheduled to leave in fifteen minutes. A note explained that her luggage, since it had been on the flight when it was leaving to Japan, was already at the airport waiting for her arrival. They had been expecting this decision.

They knew, no matter what, Sakura would go back to Japan.

Her head hit the back of the car seat and she let out a breath. Staring out the window, she felt sobs rise in the back of her throat.

" Bye Hong Kong...bye Yelan, Eriol, Meiling..." She whispered and closed her eyes tightly. Bye, Syaoran...

" To the airport," She finally breathed out. The driver gave a short nod and the car twisted on an intersection, heading towards the airport.

Don't forget me.

-----------

" THAT BITCH!"

Syaoran cursed as he kicked at the dirt on the ground. The sound of screeching tires met his ears as he raced out of the temple. She had left him. Even though she had promised she wouldn't.

Every night since she had come, she sat there on the steps watching him as he practiced. It was quite unnerving and he said the same question he had asked every night, " Can you go and stop watching me? Leave!"
And she answered, just the same way as she answered every night. " I won't leave until you do."

Syaoran's eyes shut closed and he stopped his frustrated kicking and stood in the middle of the road, his fists clenched tightly as memories rushed through him.

" Syaoran! How did you get here! Why did you come here? Why were you looking for me?" Sakura demanded, anxiously.

" I-I- th-thought-" he gasped with pain and Sakura felt hot tears spring to her eyes, "-y-you left-"

" No! No, I would never leave..." She said, her voice ending in a slight whisper. " Never.."

" Xiao-Lang? The girl left. Good riddance to that, she was hardly someone worth your status and level. Obviously a girl after money. If you're ready, we can start preparations for your ceremony to become the leader of the Li clan. In a few days, you will be the leader-"

She whispered, her voice low and her eyes to the ground, " If you want...I'll stay at home. I'll be quiet. I'll be dutiful, dependant, cook and clean and I'll do whatever you want. I'll pick out your clothes and I'll stay out of your way." Her eyes looked up, almost fearfully. "Only if I don't have to leave before you do."

" Xiao-Lang?"

" He's not in shock, do you think?"

" Over that middle class girl?"

" I...I love you.." She finally whispered and twisted on her heel, turning away from him. .

Syaoran's amber eyes hardened. His fists unclenched and his jaw tightened. Turning to the elder's who stood at the entrance of the temple, he looked at the ground, hiding his blind eyes and straightening his shoulders.

" No. There will be no ceremony after a few days," Syaoran said, his voice deep and dark. The elder's looked surprised and one opened their mouth to protest but Syaoran rose his face and they saw instantly the fortitude written deep in his face.

" The ceremony will happen today."

------------

" What do those Elder's think their doing? Is this a decision that reflects the whole clan? This is forcing a man to give up his love for the clan! This is not right-" Yelan ranted, but her mouth shut as the voice on the phone began to respond.

" Sure, I know that sacrifices must be made-"

" But how is that looking out for the good-"

" I understand, trust is not so easily given out-"

" But they were just pictures-"

" A witness is not good enough proof-"

But Yelan could not argue any more for the person on the phone had hung up. Yelan slumped on the kitchen table, still cradling the phone as she rested her head on the cool, wooden surface. A hand placed on her shoulder shook her out of her turmoil and she looked up, seeing Wei's kind eyes.

" Oh, Wei," Yelan whispered, tiredly. " I can't do anything! I'm almost powerless when it comes to the Elder's decisions. I do not know why they are so interested in Syaoran's welfare, now of all times."

" You do realize that Syaoran is almost seventeen," Wei said, quietly.

" I know," Yelan said, quietly. " It is time for him to accept the position as the Li clan leader...he's not ready, Wei-"

" The Elder's have accepted that a blind person will be their leader. However, they do not want any other disadvantages to their leader. They view Sakura as a disadvantage. Not only is she middle class, but she has changed Syaoran from the outcast he was before. They find her to be...quite powerful and they think with that power, she can affect Syaoran's decisions," Wei said, softly.

Yelan looked up at him, sorrow in her eyes. " I understand their logic, Wei. But once, I want them to understand life...love..."

" This is a clan. Those words don't belong," Wei murmured as he walked out of the room, quietly. Yelan rubbed her upper arms as chills began to spread through her body.

She wanted to keep her son happy. Safe. Loved. And she had failed to do so in every department. Would she always be so helpless?

Suddenly, the phone rang sharply, cutting through her thoughts like a sharp knife. Jolted, she picked up the phone and answered it.

" Syaoran?" She questioned as soon as she heard the caller's voice. Then her eyes widened and she nearly dropped the phone.

" Your what? Tonight?"

----------

Sakura sat in the airport, minutes left until her boarding. Tears had not come, and she had remained dry eyed since the minute she had stepped into the airport. The ticket nestled in her hand, she stared blankly ahead of her, watching the people cross, walking, hugging, meeting families...

Was her decision the right one? Or was this something she would regret forever...

But she could not take it. The pain, all because of her. She didn't want to be a choice Syaoran regretted. She didn't want Syaoran to have any misgivings.

Her heart ached. Her body felt sore and she couldn't think. Everything felt numb.

I love him, she thought to herself.

I love him...

" In other news, the heir to the Li clan, Li Syaoran has made a surprise announcement today..."

The words startled her and her gaze jerked towards the TV set above her. She felt the hustle and bustle of the airport begin to silence around her and she stared at the screen in rapt attention.

" The ceremony that announces a new leader for the Li clan will be tonight, instead of in a week's time when Li Syaoran will turn seventeen. A joint vote on the Li council has agreed upon the sudden decision and it seems, the leaderless clan will now have a leader once more. Back to you, Hirosaki."

The words echoed through the airport but the others didn't seem to notice. Sakura's gaze was still fastened on the screen but she was no longer hearing it. Faintly surprised that a new clan leader for the Li clan was important enough to be broadcast on the news, she blinked hard as the information she had just heard sunk in.

Tonight.

He was becoming the Li clan leader tonight.

In the back of her mind, she had almost thought that he would reject them all. That he would come after her like the last time, rushing through the airport, security on his heels, swooping her up...

But he had accepted it.

He doesn't love you, Sakura, a nasty voice inside her head hissed. He doesn't even care that your not with him.

Sakura shoved the voice out of her conscious. No. This was the best decision for him. This is what he wanted all of his life and she wasn't about to become a hindrance to his dreams.

" Boarding, flight 372 to Japan. Boarding."

She got to her feet, her knees almost giving way but she kept herself strong.

" Everything will be alright," She whispered to herself. Then she smiled, softly.

" Daddy...here I come..."

-----------------

" What are the Elder's thinking?" A man whispered among the crowd as they shifted nervously in the plush seats. " Doesn't the new leader need to be seventeen? Not only that, but engaged as well?"

The room was ablaze with lights and red tapestries. The Li insignia was etched on the cloth hanging from the balconies that surrounded the lavish building and the hundreds of invitees sat, restless and uneasy in the red cushioned chairs seated in front of a raised stage. A scroll sat in the middle of a white sheeted table, as well as two gold encrusted cups that were filled with wine and sake. It was a rather extravagant surrounding, the rich and upscale atmosphere emanating from the furniture and people seated in the building.

" I have no idea..." Another responded. " What bothers me is that our new leader is disabled."

" Blind as a bat," A man replied, a little bit of amusement hinted in his voice.

" The clan seems to be getting a little loony lately," One hissed in a bitter tone.

Then silence spread over the audience as a horn began to blare. The doors at the back slammed open and the Elder's walked in, a crowd of wise men, dressed in long cloaks and robes. The Announcement was always a traditional event. Tradition meant the world to the Li clan and everything went as it did centuries ago.

Among the Elder's was a man, hidden and protected by the circle of wise men. As soon as they reached the front, the elder's began to separate until one man, kneeling on the floor was visible.

" Li Xiao-Lang. Descendant of Li Hizu, deceased Leader of the Li Clan," The formal introduction began and the words began to flow as introductions were made and the great Li speech began, the words etched to the minds of every Li clan member.

" This gets boring," A woman whispered, shifting in her seat uncomfortably.

Around her, people nodded, agreeing. But the speech ended, five minutes later and the Naming began. The chestnut haired man got to his feet and turned to receive his audience. Many still gaped at the handsome face and the sightless eyes, but the cold expression on his face seemed to deter even the strongest believers that he was not ready for such a high position.

A chanting among the elder's began and an eerie atmosphere began to descend upon the room. The hushed whispers stopped instantly and silence gripped the building's occupants like a tight fist. The elder rose the gold encrusted cup to Syaoran's lips and the stoic boy drank obediently. The second up was raised and was drained just as quickly. The chanting rose and fell and the silence was nearly overbearing.

" Li Xiao-Lang, with your signature on this historic scroll, we will pronounce you as our leader of the Li clan. You will lead us to new heights as our guide in this age of disbelief. With this signature you are the Leader of our clan."

The scroll was raised and a small dagger given to Syoaran. Without a moment's hesitance, Syaoran swiped at his finger and without once betraying his disability, he reached over and signed the parchment with his own blood.

As soon as the last letters soaked into the paper, a cloak was tied around Syaoran's neck and the hundreds of members rose to their feet and bowed low, chanting the Li greeting.

He was their leader.

He was their commander and he was his father.

He had fulfilled his dream. He had reached his achievement. Surprisingly, happiness or joy was not the emotion reflected on Syaoran's hard, amber eyes and instead, a cold look of tenacity rested there.

" As our leader...what will your first venture be?" An elder announced, his beady eyes trained on Syaoran. The question was not a meaningless one. This question was a test. It proved himself worthy in front of his clan. Often, leaders were chosen from descendants as Syaoran was, and this did not assure the rest of the clan that the leader was worthy. This question was one that established himself commendable and was not a question to be taken lightly

A scowl overtook Syaoan's feautures before he turned and faced the crowd.And then, for the first time, his mouth opened and he said, his voice loud and clear.

" My first venture? It may or may not be a venture but it is surely a promise. I will be engaged to Kinomoto Sakura. And that is my first act as Leader of this clan."

A/N: ouch. lol, sorry about the lateness of the chapter. and i have NO IDEA wut Syaoran's father's name is so I kinda juss made one up. Anyways, this story is finishing soon. SO do you think the elder's are actually gonna let Syaoran get away with wut he juss did? ANd do you think it was a right choice or did it just make him look mushy infront of the rest of his clan...

ooh the questions.

anyways, lol, so thanks guys for readin this story and bearin with the late updates. i cant help it! sobs LOL hope ya'll are havin a nice summer...and to those who have to go back to school now...HAHA!