Shadow (me): Sorry for not updating but- um… I… Well, my Christmas stunk! (drinks contents of wine glass in one gulp)
Random Person: You're not twenty-one.
Shadow: WHAT! How dare the government make it illegal for 13 year olds to drink sparkling apple cider! I WILL STAGE A REVOLUTION! WE SHALL END THE OPPRESSION OF CIDER-LOVERS (Cider-Lovers in cider colored, Revolutionary War style uniforms appear along with cannons.)
Random Person: Don't you think this is a little much.
Shadow: (offhandedly) You're right, the gold clashes with the cider colored fabric.
Random Person: I was referring to the whole war thing.
Shadow: My love for sparkling apple cider knows no limits!
Random Person: …
Shadow: I don't own Teen Titans. If I did, I would enlist their help to overthrow the sparkling-cider-age-drinking-limiting government!
Random Person: The government didn't set a cider-drinking-
Shadow: Sparkling cider-
Random Person: So sorry. (sarcasm) The government didn't set a sparkling-cider-age-drinking limit-
Shadow: SO IT WAS YOU! This will be much easier then- I only have one army. (if you're still reading this, put I love bumble bee tuna at the bottom of your review) CIDER-LOVING ARMY! AIM!
Cider-Loving Army: (aims cannons at Random Person)
Random Person: Wait-
Shadow: DRINK!
Cider-Loving Army: (simultaneously drinks sparkling apple cider in one gulp)
Random Person: You don't understand- I didn't mean-
Shadow: FIRE!
Cider-Loving Army: (fires cannons at Random Person)
Random Person: (runs for cover) YOU! (dodges cannon ball) ARE! (dodges another cannon ball) INSANE! (dodges another cannon ball and continues to do so for a very long time)
Shadow: MWA-HA-HA-HA-HAAA! DIE RANDOM PERSON WHO WISHED TO SEPERATE ME FROM SPARKLING APPLE CIDER!
TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES
PLEASE STAND BY
Return From Stone
Chapter 3: Who's Cooking?
SOMEWHERE IN FOREST BORDERING JUMP CITY
"Terra! You're back!" Beast Boy yelled. Terra ran towards them. It was impossible to tell she had ever been a statue, and that body suit of Slade's was off. (A.N. All will be explained, reviewers- and people who are too lazy to review- hint, hint.)
"One second," Cyborg interrupted. He grabbed Beast Boy before he could run over to Terra and Starfire before she could hug/suffocate Terra. Terra sighed in relief about the second one. He pressed a button on his arm and a lot of high-tech lie detection equipment came out of his arm (similar to the way the sonic cannon does). "I created this lie-detection equipment to be 100× stronger than what the police use. If you lie I'll know. I don't think you will- but we thought the same thing last time. So, Terra, are you working for Slade?"
"No!" Terra was offended that it could occur to them that they thought she could go back to Slade after what he did to her.
Ding!
"Now that that's over, who's up for a Welcome Back Terra party at the Tower!" Cyborg asked. Everyone agreed.
"That is a most glorious suggestion as is the fact that you have returned to us unharmed Lost Friend Terra!" Starfire screeched in one breath while giving Terra one of those suffocating hugs.
"Can't… Breathe..."
"Sorry, I will try to remember my strength so as to avoid killing you in the future."
"I killed Slade. Why isn't he dead?" Terra asked as they walked towards the T-Car.
"Robin was jealous you killed Slade," Raven replied. That wasn't quite the answer she was looking for...
"No I wasn't!"
"Dude! You were so jealous-"
"Friend Robin, I must agree with Raven and Beast Boy-"
"C'mon Robin, Terra knows you well enough by now-"
"No one answered my question." They looked at Terra then at Raven.
'Just because he came alive so Trigon could send him after me, they expect me to tell her?' Raven thought. Instead she suggested: "How about we celebrate your revival, then we tell you what happened while you were a stat- I mean- gone?"
"Fine with me," Terra responded.
"That's a good idea." (Robin)
"Let's do that." (Cyborg)
"I'll drive." (Beast Boy)
"Don't even think about touching my baby! Again!" (Cyborg)
"I shall fetch the Kyonshevl!" (Starfire)
"What's a Kyonshevl?" (Terra)
"We probably don't want to know- you're fine as long as it isn't a crown of meat." (Raven)
"…"
TITANS TOWER LIVING ROOM
"You'll probably want one of these," Robin said, handing Terra a communicator.
"I'm still a Titan! Even after what happened!" Terra exclaimed.
"The correct terminology is 'what you did,' but yes," Raven answered.
"At least now I can control my powers." Terra replied in defense. "Guys, I'm sorry I-"
"The important thing is that you're back," interrupted (and shocking everyone, especially Terra) Raven. Everyone looked shocked. "What? I can't miss my friend?" They decided not to press the matter- a very good choice.
"It is most wonderful to have you back!"
"Totally."
"I knew you'd be back eventually."
"Me too."
Short silence…
"Who's cooking?"
…broken by Beast Boy…
"I'll do it!" Terra volunteered.
"I shall help you!"
"Watcha cookin'? Not tofu, right?" Cyborg asked.
"Even I don't like tofu, and I'll eat anything," Terra responded, "Cheese pizza, toppings on the side. Any objections?"
No one had any. (A.N. This chapter exists solely to get a foundation for the next chapters laid out. Keep reading.)
AFTER PIZZA WAS FINISHED
Cyborg and Beast Boy raced to be first in line, Cyborg won ("Boo-yah!" "No fair! You stepped on my tail!") and began piling on the meat. Raven preferred her pizza with cheese and walked over to sit next to Beast Boy. Terra sat there before her, leaving her with the feeling of emptiness you feel when someone you love-
'I don't have a crush on Beast Boy!' Raven attempted to convince herself. She sat next to Cyborg instead. Immediately, her thoughts changed- she had forgotten Beast Boy and Terra had dated.
'So Terra thinks she can have Beast Boy that easily. No dumb blonde is going to find it that easy to be with Beast Boy. Especially that traitorous-'
"Um, Raven? Can I come down now please?" Terra requested. Raven had her floating and hitting her head many times on the ceiling.
"Sorry," Raven responded. She attempted to slowly lower Terra, but ended up just dropping her.
"Ow!"
"Raven, is something wrong?" Robin asked, full of concern.
"YES! (lights went out) My emotions- I should go meditate-" Raven rushed out of the room, abandoning her pizza.
"Is it Rage?" Beast Boy asked.
"I don't know-" Raven ran out of the room.
"Who wants pie?" Terra inquired, bringing out a perfectly baked pie. The pie was attacked by a sonic blast, starbolts, and a bird-a-rang, and after the smoke cleared the charred pie shape became ash-dust. "Oookaaay"
Shadow: (lots of cannon fire in background) Which emotion is it know? Is it Rage- or someone knew? Time for a poll:
Do you like sparkling apple cider?
A: Yes
B: Yes, as long as it isn't apple-cranberry
C: Neutral
D: No (I won't wage a war on anyone who votes D. We're low on supplies.)
Shadow: I know this war could've been left out of my fic, but I couldn't help it… (drinks sparkling apple cider) DON'T DOUBT THE POWER OF THE CIDER!
Random Person: (mockingly) Don't you mean sparkling cider?
Shadow: Come to spy on our plans have you!
Random Person: You only took a poll!
Shadow: A SECRET poll! Army! Quit shooting at whatever you're shooting at! Random Person is over here!
Random Person: I hate you. (begins running for cover again)