A/n- Hey hope u enjoy it, ive neva riten in Troy before, da funniest thing is that my brothers name is actually Troy!

(cool name hey?)LOL

Paris's deadly weapon:

Paris was sitting out in the gardens of Troy, thinking hard on the fight that a waited him the next morning. He loved Helen dearly and would even die for her, rather to see her with another man.

Paris knew that the worrier that he was going to contend with was a skilled and deadly man.

All Paris was good at was, flirting, kissing, looking good and eating.

He was not a fighter at all, but he needed to think of a plan on how to defeat the worrier, he did not want to loose Helen.

At dusk, Paris happened to pass through the kitchen of the palace. He was looking for a bunch of grapes to ease his constipation, when he noticed how many cans of beans they owned. Paris smiled with glee, he was so depressed at this hour and he so needed to be comforted, so he decided to turn to the beans.

Paris ordered the servants to open all the cans for him and to take them outside, so he could watch the last sun set that he would ever see. He had no hope of surviving the next day.

The next day Paris found him self covered with beans all over his face. When he got up and went to his room, he found it very hard to get through the doorway. He tried putting on his armour, but found it very difficult, he soon realised why. He did not have a six-pack any more, but instead, it was replaced with a whole lot of fat.

This site made him even unhappier! Not only was he going to die today, but he was alsonot going to be able to dodge the sword of his opponent, all the fat would get in the way. He would die sooner then he thought.

Paris gave Helen one last deep kiss.

When he was standing in the podium waiting, Helen shouted out at him.

Now... you would think that she would say, "I love you!" or maybe even "Good luck!" But no, instead she shouted out, " Your mouth tastes like bliming beans!"

Even more depressed, Paris waited there in the sun, waiting for the arrival of the warrior. In his stomach, there were no butterflies at all, not even any fear. There was great rumbling and pressure going on in side. Paris ignored his paining stomach and started stretching.

The man soon arrived and Paris and the great warrior stood face to face. As quick as a flash, Paris found him self-lying on the ground, fighting for his life. He was holding the warriors hand that held the sharp sword. Paris was using every muscle in his body, including his stomach muscles.

Then suddenly, like a great burst of air releasing from a balloon, a mighty force of gas came out of Paris's ass.

The warrior stood away from Paris in disgust. Paris gave a quick smile and jumped up on his feet, he then charged at the warrior and tackled him to the ground. The warrior was stuck, all the great weight was holding him down. The crowd was all shouting, "Finish him off." Paris looked down at the mans face and whispered in his ear, "Smell this stinker!" Paris then lifted his ass and put it in the mans face.

There are many myths about that moment, for when Paris had put his ass in the mans face, he had done the biggest fart in history, it had shook the whole of Troy that day. Luckily for Paris, the warrior died that day, apparently for consuming a very deadly gas.

A/N-Well hoped you liked it, I now it was a bit out there, but hey!