A few minutes after Padme leaves, Obi-wan walks into the small compartment where I am located. "We're almost there, Anakin. Just a bit longer."

All I can do is nod miserably. I don't know if I've made the right choice, coming back. Now Padme will die. She will die.

I find myself torn between terror at the thought of losing her and fear at the thought of her living. Because that would mean there was never any danger at all. That would mean I killed needlessly. That I nearly sold my soul to the devil and got nothing out of it.

But how can I wish for her to die? She is what matters most to me in life. In death. More than anything.

But how can I live with myself if she survives?

I can't think about that at all. "Master…what are they going to do to me—at the med-center, I mean?"

"I'm not sure. Artoo has intercepted a transmission from Palpatine, though, instructing his medical team on what they were—are—to do to you—if they find you—though they won't. Well, anyway. If you'd like to see it."

"Let me hear it."

He nods. "Artoo, we need you to play the holo you intercepted."

Artoo rolls in, beeping and whistling. There is a crackling noise, and then Sidious appears. I shudder at the face I once found kind and comforting. We are hearing his half of a conversation. To whom, I can only guess. What I can hear is haunting.

"Have you found Lord Vader yet?...Then hurry your search! If he isn't on Mustafar, then for force sake check the outer rim!...I have no idea what that damn Kenobi may have done with him…you know what will happen if you don't find him….yes, here's what I want done…yes, I know you could heal nearly anything they've done to him…but this is what I am telling you to do, Commander. He needs to feel I saved him…No, he won't be as free this way. Of course I know that…He will have to stay with me…"

And then, in the place of Sidious, a computer model pops up. It's a figure dressed entirely in black. There is no face, just a black mask. The figure move stiffly as a simulated walk is run, and I am horrified to see that all of his limbs are metal.

Sidious's face is back. "There. You see what I want done…Good. And when you're done with him, bring him to me—there are things we need to—discuss."

I turn my eyes to Obi-wan. "That…person…was that going to be me?"

He turns his face towards me. His grey eyes, normally so cheerful, are clouded and sad. "That is what Palpatine planned to make you, Anakin. A crippled half person. You do understand, don't you, that he planned to cripple you so much that you would essentially be enslaved?"

I look away. I understand. I'd left my friends for a life of killings…death…enslavement. All the things I've fought.

Maybe it was fighting them so hard that lead to this. The Jedi have always warned me about going against the ways of the Force. But if death and pain are the way of the Force, then aren't the sith right after all?

I wanted to save her. I've always been able to save things that seemed broken beyond repair.

There is no pain if there is not loss; there is no loss if there is no attachment.

So, in a way, I suppose every pain I've ever felt was my own fault.

But there is one pain that was inflicted by you, Obi-wan.

"Obi-wan…why did you want to make Padme hate me?"

He looks stricken. "I didn't…I would never do anything like that…Anakin, I've never wanted anything but happiness for you—surely you know that!"

I can hear his panicked thoughts. Surely I made that clear, at least…but right after Qui-gon died…and you know you have always tried to hide attachments…

He realizes I've overheard his thoughts and looks at me and frowns. "Anakin…"

"Master…I know. But…if she doesn't"—here I drop my voice to a whispered hush—"hate me—why did she let you come? Did you lie to her, Obi-wan? Or was…was she—well, did she know you were going to kill me and just not care?"

"She wasn't aware of what was going on at all…I stowed away on her ship. I hid in a compartment…there was no other way, Anakin. She wouldn't tell me where you were hiding."

"She wouldn't?" I feel a bubble of hope rising in me—after all I did—she forgave me. But… "Master…did she know what I'd done, when she made that choice?"

"I'd told her…but I don't know if she really believed me. Anakin—I don't know if even I believe it…I saw the security holos, but—Anakin, is it true? It's just—well, you know, the younglings always looked up to you…"

I can feel the hope, the final hope, rising in him—maybe his padawan, his son, his brother, is innocent. Maybe I didn't do it, he thinks. I thought that for a little while, too.

I face him as best as I can, steely eyed. I'll have to resolve this sometime—maybe it's better to do it now. He and Padme will both have any lingering doubt banished, and then maybe we can forget this.

Maybe they can forget this, at least.

Because I know I never will.

"I did…I drugged myself beforehand. I didn't want to see their faces. I didn't want to hear them scream. I knew that if I saw them…if I saw my friends begging me to let them live—I knew I could never do it. I didn't want my…cowardliness…to become the cause of Padme's death. So I gave myself something that would alter the synapse in my brain, temporarily. Make me more animal than human. It would be like sleepwalking… So that I wouldn't consciously have any control over it. So that it could be done without me having to knowingly inflict the blows—because I knew I couldn't do it…and it seemed so unfair for Padme to have to die because I was afraid.

"But then…I must not have given myself enough—because I became conscious again in the temple—after all the killing—and I was just standing there, standing among the bodies of children. One looked like me, a little. Well, he had blonde hair, and blue eyes, anyway. And he was laying on the ground—in three pieces. And I realized I'd done it. I cried, Obi-wan. I don't think I've ever cried so hard. And then I was afraid. And I thought of contacting you. But I knew how disappointed you would be—and I couldn't take your disappointment. I've never been good enough…and I'm sorry."

I look up at him. He looks older. I've made him age. His forehead is pressed into a hand. But his shoulders are shaking and I can see tears streaming down his face. He looks up at me. "I'm so sorry, Anakin. You are…you always have been…too good for me. Too powerful. Too willful…Too loving, even. Qui-gon would have been better for you. But I wasn't good enough. I was too cowardly to let you know Anakin. But you're my only family. I could kill myself now for letting this happen. I was so afraid of what the council would do if they found out about my attachment to you…if they knew that you were a brother and a son and a friend who I couldn't let go of…that I pretended my attachment didn't exist. And denial made me push you away. I wasn't there for you like a father should be. And I'm so sorry. I think…this is my fault…"

We are both silent for a minute. We are both crying, him, huddled up and crouched against the shadowy wall of the craft, and me, vulnerable and hurting on the once white couch.

"You know, Anakin," he says after a while, in a hesitating and creaky voice, as though is afraid to advise me at all, "valuing life is not a weakness."

I nod. We both can feel the bond between us, strengthened through sorrow. The room is heavy with the air of death and loss. With forgiveness and regret. With a love so deep neither of us could admit it was there—until it was almost destroyed.

"Obi-wan? Anakin? We're here. There are some droids outside coming in to get Anakin."

Yeah! I finally updated. I did, however, let me remind you, make my once a week deadline.

Yes. I know the dialogue in this scene was stiff and unrealistic. I really thought Obi-wan and Anakin needed a talk though. I think it did resolve some of the stuff between them…though they will have to talk again later (lol :). I hope some of you are still reading this and I didn't disgust you so much you are pounding you computer's brains out with a hammer.

This isn't supposed to be slash at all, if that's what you're thinking. Just a very strong bond between two friends.

I actually have a plot planned now, so I should, theoretically, update faster. There is a pretty major thing coming up with Anakin. Not next chapter, but pretty soon. So stay tuned.

Anakin will get the medical help he needs very soon. Don't worry! I won't neglect the fact he is badly injured. But remember, the burns aren't as extensive as they would be.

I can't think of anything else to say. Just please please review!

I get to do individual review responses! Yeah! I love it when people do this. So now it's my turn to be the nice author. I'm just responding to reviews on chapter three, though. So don't get mad or anything.

Lightsabermaster: hope you like this as much as you seem to like the rest!

Eledee: Yeah! I continued! Hope you like it. I like your penname, btw.

Lanfear1: I updated…maybe not soon persay, but I updated!

Redneck626Arya4LayaSparrow: I believe you have your update!

Solana1: Well, I emailed you. Hope I can help!

anakinhottie: glad you liked it…though I totally disagree with you

Eohthen lord of Rohan: Well, here it is!

GMUXMenSoaps: Glad you enjoyed it.

Has anyone other than me noticed this is getting pretty repetitive? This is harder than it looks…lol. Well I'm going to stick with it!

Kira: Here it is!

HopelessBeautifulDreamer: I should have taken your advice…lol…I'm trying to pull this together the night of my self imposed deadline.

AngelWarrior74: Hee hee hee…only I know their fate! I actually do know their fate, so updates should be a lot faster right now. All I can say is there is a major thing happening with Anakin later on.

JY: You get your wish, I continued!

Lily: I wish they did this or something like it in the movies, too. I cried when I saw it. The final bit is sooo sad!

lucyrocks73: I'm very glad you like it.

eridani: Here you go!

TorontoBatFan: I was drawing the blood thing from in Episode IV when Obi-wan cuts off that guys arm in the cantina…it was sure bleeding! LOL, I guess that guy wasn't really human. I don't really know that much about medicine, Star Wars or otherwise. I haven't read the EU and I can't find a Red Cross program for people my age (13.) And now Anakin knows Obi-wan was a stowaway and he's started to talk about the temple a bit. As for Padme touching his face, she really doesn't know much about medicine, either. They will definitely pay for that, though…As for pain, he is still pretty much numb from the injection Obi-wan gave him. Hope you enjoyed this chapter…don't worry, Anakin will get all the medical help he needs next chapter.

MaekoChan: Glad you are enjoying this.

Dracula's Lair: Glad you like it.

forceflow46: I tried to put in a heart to heart. Tried. Did it work? You be the judge.

Destynii Skywalker: Like I said before, I just know nothing about medicine. Glad you kinda like this so far, though.

bandgsecurtiyaw: this is a bit longer…1430 words. So not great, but better, lengthwise.

Kyro: here is a longer chapter for you!

mysticallove: I love angst!

Blood of the Wolf: Glad you enjoyed it…I'm still planning a rewrite of the chapter though.

Myotismon13: Yep. They're all in a rather tough situation, aren't they?

I think I got everybody!