Disclaimer: So at this point, you've been reading this story for 9 chapters. You KNOW the characters/plot lines are not my own, but belong to the very wonderful Rob Thomas/Joel Silver duo. And of course the actors belong to themselves (but I've said it once, and I'll say it again. I've been a really good girl this year. I wouldn't mind having a Jason Dohring for Christmas). So seriously, if there's someone out there, like making sure we have disclaimers on all of our stories, find someone else to sue! I am a very penniless college freshman. I have absolutely no money.
A/N: I did a teensy bit of retooling, but the plot of this chapter is basically the same.
Half a year has passed since Lilly's murder, but Veronica still wakes up screaming. Sometimes at night as Logan lies beside, her he can feel the tremors that torment her and can quell them before she wakes, kissing the tears away from her wet lashes, keeping her safe. But he's not always there, and she doesn't know what she'll do when he decides to leave for good. He hasn't said anything-won't say anything, but she knows what she's like. And although he tries to hide it, she can see his winces as she meticulously goes through the Lilly Kane murder investigation clues over and over again.
"Sooo, Papa Mars is out of town for the weekend. What do you say, pizza, movies, beer?" His tone is light, and just this once she wishes that excitement didn't flutter in her stomach every time he touched her. "Some hanky panky on the den floor…" His voice trails off as he presses a kiss in the crook of her neck, and she wants to give in. She deserves it after the day she's had, but she shrugs him off, taking a few steps away. They have something serious to discuss, and she can't think when he's touching her. "'Ronica?" He's extending his hand out to her, his fingers almost brushing against the thin fabric of her t-shirt, and she closes her eyes, dying to feel his touch. To succumb. God, what she would give to just let go-to forget that she isn't a normal teenager.
"There's something you need to know." She blurts, and cringes at the look in his eyes. There is concern there mixed with a large dose of apprehension. I don't want to do this. "You know I've been doing a lot of research on Lilly's…" She trails off, the word stuck to her tongue. Murder. No matter how many times she swallows the world is stuck there, lodged in her throat for all eternity.
"Of course I do." Helplessly she gazes into his eyes. Bad idea. "I'm sorry if I haven't…" He can't finish the sentence. There is too much there-an excess of raw anguish and pain that neither is ready to deal with just yet. Maybe never.
"I know." Her words are so quiet that she's not sure if he's heard them, and her hands clench so tightly together that her knuckles are white. Not a good sign.
"Then what, V? What do you have to tell me? Do we have any new leads?" She tries not to feel warmed by his choice of words. Now is not the time for fuzzy feelings or fangirlish exclamations. Lilly's killer is somewhere out there, and she won't rest until she finds him. And despite her father's accusations, she knows deep in her heart that Jake Kane didn't bludgeon his own daughter to death.
"When…" She swallows, choosing to look at the spot behind his ear instead of in his eyes. It's easier this way. He's just another client. "At the time of Lilly's murder, she was seeing someone. Someone…else." Her voice is lifeless, dull. As if this isn't her best friend she's talking about. As if Logan hadn't been said best friend's boyfriend at the time.
"…I'm not surprised, 'Ronica. Lilly loved guys." His eyes are open and guileless, and all at once she wants to take him in her arms and never let go. "And to be fair, guys loved Lilly." He smiles a bit at this, looking down at his hands as he does so, remembering. Being jealous of your dead best friend is not the best course of action, Veronica, her inner voice whispers, and although she knows this is true, she bites her lip to keep from cringing, anyway.
"Do you remember that summer the Kanes went to Europe?" She asks softly walking behind her desk and settling down in the plush cushions of her chair. He still gets a shock, seeing her like this-so at ease in a private detective agency. Of course, after her father got run out of the sheriff's department, opening Mars Investigations was the easiest path to follow. And from what he can see, the elder Mars is damn good at his job. His daughter follows in his footsteps. He realizes that she's waiting for his answer, looking down at him like a prim schoolteacher, and he can't help the sudden urge he has to take her into his arms. God, I love you.
"Yeah of course." He replies, clearing his throat and breaking eye contact. "Duncan wanted me to tag along, but Lilly, she wanted to break up. Wanted her freedom. So I stayed here for the summer." He mumbles out the last words, looking down at his hands as he does so, pretending to inspect his fingernails. "Why? What does that trip have to do with the case?" His eyes are back on hers and she can feel his scrutiny down to her toes. So much for calm, cool and collected, Mars.
"Nothing, actually." She seems out of sorts as she stares off into the great unknown beyond him, seeing everything and nothing at all. Something grabs her attention though, and in an instant she is back, Veronica. His perfect, action figure of a girlfriend. He breathes a silent sigh of relief. She'll never know how much she scares him when she retreats inside of herself. "Lilly used to hide things in her air vents. Once, after that trip she showed me." He's smiling now, she wonders if he's laughing at her, or if he knows. God, that would be bad…Suddenly he's standing-walking into her father's office, and she can do nothing but rush after him. "What are you doing?" She calls, settling in the doorway only to finding him on the floor, playing with a discarded screwdriver.
"Sort of like this?" He asks, unhinging the grate from the corner vent. Oh god, she thinks, the world beginning to spin. He knows.
"Did you-did you learn that from Lilly?" She asks, knowing full well that there is a catch in her voice and not being able to do anything about it. I so did not need this.
"No, Lilly learned that from me." He smiles at her then, and she knows without a doubt that he doesn't know. He wouldn't have been able to smile at her like that if he had. Slowly she walks to him and slides to the ground against the wall, sitting crossed legged on the floor. She leans forward, capturing his lips with hers, and wrapping her arms around his neck. He can taste her tears. "V?" He whispers, breaking away from her and glancing down into her eyes. She doesn't look away this time.
"I don't know how to say this, Logan." She whispers softly. She wants to nuzzle against his neck-to wrap her arms around him and never let go of his warmth.
"Are you dying?" He asks deadpan. Shocked, she bursts into giggles, biting her lip to keep them in.
"No. Definitely not dying." She responds, swallowing as he tightens his arms around her.
"Moving out of state? Changing your hair color? Oh my god, did you crash my car into a tree?" Unceremoniously, he pulls her onto his lap, and he clasps his hands together as he glances up at the ceiling. "God, please don't let it be the car. I love that thing." She smiles again, her eyes crinkling. She loves that they can joke like this.
"None of the above." She answers, her face as serious as his own, eyes twinkling.
"Are you breaking up with me?" He asks, suddenly serious. He's biting his lip so hard that it's started to bleed, and she feels an absurd rush of pleasure at that.
"Nope. Not breaking up with you." She murmurs softly, splaying her fingers across his cheek.
"Then there's nothing that I don't want to hear. Especially coming from you." He leans down a bit and kisses her nose. "And if it's about the case, even better. Lilly deserves some justice." She smiles softly, not jealous anymore. She understands now that he needs his answers as much as she does. So Lilly can finally be put to rest.
"Duncan had League Meets yesterday afternoon," Her voice is barely a whisper, but she knows he's heard her. She rushes to continue before he can speak. "And I knew that Jake and Celeste would be out of town so I…" Her voice trails off as she bites her lips, searching to find the words.
"Please tell me that the end of that sentence has you coming home and enjoying a nice leisurely run with Back-up. Please."
"So I broke in."
"Veronica!" He stands quickly, forgetting that she's sitting on his lap and she falls to a heap on the floor. He's glaring at her, his eyes angry and wild, his fingers tugging at the ends of his hair. "Do you know how dangerous that is? Especially with your father's vendetta against them? God don't you-"
"I remembered that she kept things in her air vents, and when I checked, I found something." She's standing now, and she walks out of the main office and to her desk, where after unlocking the corner drawer, finds 3 tapes, holding them out. "These." She says quietly, not looking into his eyes.
"You risked your life for tapes? God, Ronnie, I could've given you tapes of Lilly. I have hundreds." He takes her face in his hands kissing her soundly. "You could've been hurt." She nods, swallowing, not wanting to tell him the rest. If he doesn't ask I'm not telling him. He doesn't need to know. It'll only-
"So what's on there? Did you get the answers that you were looking for?" Dammit. So close.
"Not really. Just another piece of the puzzle Lilly never let me in on."
"Was she…?" His voice trails off, and she knows what he's asking. "Is that why you told me? Because she's banging another guy and he got it on film?" His tone is harsh, his eyes wild. She inhales sharply, but doesn't say a word. "Is he the one that killed her?"
"I don't know." He slumps onto the couch, his eyes blank. She moves to go to him, but his look stops her. He swallows, and with a shuddering sigh, wipes his eyes. Her heart breaks for him, for herself, for Lilly.
"Who is it, Veronica?" He asks after a long moment. She comes to sit by him, settling on the floor, and wrapping her fingers around his. They're cold as ice. "Do I…do I know him?" The room is getting smaller and smaller, but she takes a shuddering breath and nods once. His fingers tighten on hers, and after a second, he glances down at her, realization dawning in his eyes. "No." He breathes, despair lighting his eyes. Now he knows.
A/N 2: That was really long, huh? I was compensating for having such a long disclaimer today. But you have to admit that it was funny. Haha. Anyway, so many things to discuss…yes, Aaron and Lilly did have an affair. Obviously. But somehow on that day when she discovered the tapes, he didn't kill her. I actually don't know how I'm going to explain that away. Also, if you look, there are bits of my favorite dialogue from the show sprinkled in, which I thought was a cute touch. And for my loyal fans (because you know, I have them) there is a mention of the fictitious 'League Meets', which if you've read my other stuff, you'll recognize. And I thought throwing that in would be kind of cute too. Anyway, I actually really really like this chapter, which doesn't bode too well for it, but I hope you guys like it too!
Also, just before I jump in, this was written-and written well with the help of the one, the only, my favorite person in the entire world: Enna. Babe, without you, I wouldn't have had the inspiration, or the corrections. Thanks a million.
Also, to Simply Lilly, your comments and praise, always astound me. You're so awesome for reading and liking everything, so this is also dedicated to you, and your plain awesomeness. Thanks!