Chapter 7

Jeska's Story

When everything seems to be wrong. And there's no where to go. The reason to life is something you look for. But everyone has a reason. Just that it doesn't show. Giving up is not a choice. So don't give up hope. So your stuck in between? The living know struggle, the dead know peace. I'm staying in the middle against my will. In the edge of the mouth that the living nor dead know. I'm just staying right in between.

Back in Taiwan there was a competition held each year. A competition where clans fought to see who was better. A battle for the strongest. To test their strength. An entertainment every commoner looked toward to. I had not known that day would be the one last time I saw what was left of my family. There laying defenseless, there was only one thing I did think about. Your life. My opponent stood over me mocking me lay on the floor hurt. The blood was clearly pumping out of my head. As if a bunch of meteorites had exploded in my head. The roaring crowd flowing into my mind. Never had I lost a battle no matter how badly injured I was. I had to win or be disbanded from the clan. Not to mention the clan was my family. Honor was the main priority to our clan. Unlike other ones that cheated, stole, lied. It wasn't easy being in a clan. All your life battling for a selfish reason.

The reason to live was something I sought and hadn't found it. You see there was a secret kept from me. Everyone knew except me. It was the purpose of my existence. And it was clearly warned to me not to throw my life away it was thought that my purpose was soon to come pass. A thirteen year old girl competing in a tournament where one always had something to lose. I used my sword against my opponent pushing him down. There was only to ways you could win. Either you killed your rival or you disabled him from going to battle ever again in his life. I never killed them. I couldn't kill them it was too much. I promised my father before he passed away that I would never take a person's life. I planned to keep the promise but I did take away their dignity. Didn't think that a thirteen year old should bare the deaths of older men. So I left my opponent's wrist damaged and that was the end of the game.

"I'm so proud, once more our clan has the honor of this year's competition" My mother had said. I stayed quiet the anger boiling inside. My mother turned to me this time. "You should have killed him. You not killing your opponents is showing your weakness." She insisted, "your rivals will use this against you!"

"Don't care."

"Jeska! I'm your mother."

"Since when? Tell me since when have you been my mother?"

She stayed quiet. Her face hardened and walked off. She didn't understand and the words I had said had hurt her. Even if she hadn't said anything I knew that it had. That night everything had changed. It hadn't crossed my mind that it would be that last words I told my mother Oping as I was headed home. I opened the door, stepping inside. There on the floor bathed in blood were the bodies of my aunts and uncles. All family, servants, cousins, friends. The smell was repulsive. I kept moving without noticing until there were three men in front of me with long dusky purple cloaks. They had my mother, their arms around her neck. "Where is the girl, the Vigora?" One of them demanded.

"I'd prefer death over betrayal."

"So be it women."

I gasped seeing the man about to slit her throat but my gasp had blown my spot and immediately I was taken. "Let go! You freaking bastard!"

The last thing I remember was looking my mother's way. She stared at me with such penetrating eyes. Her face was covered with a cloak and then I was knocked out. Even in my subconscious a strong amount of guilt had struck me. Till this day I don't know if she's alive.

When I awoke I couldn't see. I had been blindfolded. Once more I had smelt something undignifying. I was afraid to know where I was or should I say who I was with.

"So where is it?" A manly passive voice whispered.

"Where's my mother?" I innocently responded. I didn't want to infuriate him with my hands and feet tied.

"Your not in a good position to play games. Where is the Vigora?" He patiently asked.

" I don't know what your talking about"

"Right you are. Your mind has no record of knowing what Vigora is. Hmm the Himura were clever not telling you anything."

Another voice echoed. A women this time. " Can't we just kill her?"

"No if she dies it dies along with her."

Maybe I could be spared, I thought but I didn't think they just wanted to trick me in escaping. Somehow I felt like the man was smiling. He untied my blindfold from me and cut the rope tying me. "I'd think your mind would cease to be confused if your eyes were opened. I squinted my eyes hard. Refusing to open them. Somehow I felt like I already knew where I was. I finally gave up and opened my eyes. Next to me were my relatives. Their bodies giving off an acidic smell, a suffocating sticky air to my atmosphere. I put myself together from looking down. The door was left open and though I knew they did it on purpose I ran out. I couldn't take the smell anymore.

My bare feet felt water underneath. I was in an underground tunnel. Water kept dripping through out the tunnel I didn't see anyone but I heard the same voices again. I hid myself hoping they wouldn't notice I was right in front of their noses.

"Master are you sure we should have let the Vigora out like that?"

"Don't worry, she'll be back." The patient man answered.

"Your right master you know everything, you can read the deepest secrets minds of anyone." The women snickered.

"But if she were here right now I'd tell her to run, she has no time to spare."

I took this as a warning. If what the women was true then he knew I was there. So I ran. Darn I ran like the devil was at the edge of my heels. I found a way to escape which I can't even remember everything passed so quickly I couldn't cry even though I tried sometimes. There was a horrible gut feeling inside of me, making it hard to cry. Countless nights I couldn't scream replaying the accounts over and over again. Wondering where it all went wrong. . I went back to my house grabbed my sword and walked barefoot back to Japan. In Japan, was where my grandfather Noshiji lived. He was a man of great strength. The man of answers. Basically the Himura fled from Japan to Taiwan though I was born in Taiwan.

Tired as I was my grandfather, my Sensie opened before I got a chance to ask for him. He threw a punch at me as soon as he spotted me. I lazily blocked, the only energy that was left of me was that kept me going. Hate. "Lesson one. Don't let your anger be your source of power. But love."

"But..."

"The person who did this was Ammut. The Egyptians wrote IT down as the women who reigned the underworld. An underworld goddess. It really doesn't have a gender just spirit that doesn't have a shape or body of its own that's why it's always taking someone else's body figure. It feeds on people's anger. If your strength comes from your anger you will have no strength at all."

Thinking that he would train me physically I immediately got prepared. But no he didn't do that. He took me outside to shovel snow, walk dogs, paint the dojo, do laundry by hand, take care of his plants and sing to them. Some how, it was amazing how I let go of all the hatred that had pulled me for so long. I couldn't help thinking of nature's gift of life. No longer did I hold on to my sword with anger or fear but I hold on to it so gracefully and lightly that I barely felt my grip on it. Yet somehow when I fought it never fell.

Then came the hard part. My magic. My bloodline is controlled under the power of the moon. The Himura were the only ones who could wield elemental power into the stones I carry around. Problem was I didn't have control over them.

"Lesson two. Let your body and spirit be one with the elements."

And so it was as if the stones had reacted inside of me. My lessons continued until finally I got a chance to battle against my Sensie. It was more of a dance between two swans on the surface of a river, in rhythm with the window as we made swirls around us. It was breath taking.

Funny how I was defeated for the first time nevertheless I did not argue I felt so human for the first time. To know that you can make mistakes and always try harder. I think that's the beauty of humanity, to know that you can always be a better person that you always have a reason to say sorry and be forgiven. I've always been to conceited that I never had lost. The proudness did me wrong because I felt so empty and alone. Always keeping to myself. My heart is filled with so much compassion even though it hurts now to have such love and not be able to share it with my mother. I felt like the devil himself. Selfish. Even though I didn't kill all those men in battle I abused the power to hurt them and deprived them from their lives.

"Final Lesson. Mans first priority is to know himself." I stood baffled. "It's time to reveal the truth that has been kept from you. You are the Vigora, Jeska. This is why your family has been slaughtered to destroy the Vigora. Which is the energy that flows in your veins. Haven't you ever wondered what that substance was when you bled? Ammut has been around for thousands of years somehow you have the only power to destroy it inside of you. Only that you can't use it. You can only make it stronger. You have to learn how to materialize it so the Card Mistress can use it. The time of your redemption has come . You must find the Card Mistress and give her the Vigora then will your soul be at peace. My child life isn't the end of confusion but the beginning of illumination. The beauty of being human is that you can seek forgiveness and earn it."

Alex: Well here's the truth of the story. Basically now you know it's not really Clow Reed who took the cards but guess who? The one who can transform into other people...hint hint Well don't know how long it will be till I update since I don't know how much time I got to write so the chapters will be shorter. I don't know if that's good or bad. Should I continue this fanfic:( I don't know if I should. Thanks to all that have reviewed so far!