I spit a mouthful of sand through the metal grid that covers my mouth as I push my way through the beginnings of a sandstorm and into my craft.

"Let's go, Artoo," I cough.

He beeps a reply, and the ship takes off. Soon, we are hovering above the swirls of sand sweeping the surface.

Tatooine was the first place he ordered me too. It was easier than I thought it would be. The quota was low and there are dozens of people sunken so far into poverty they'll do anything to get out, no matter who they're fighting for. And the ones I recruited who don't really need the money were happy to be serving the Republic, even if Tatooine's presence in the Republic is wholly symbolic.

I finished early, and so I don't have plans to check in until tomorrow.

Idly, I flip through the file to see where I'm slated to go next.

Naboo.

Frustrated, I groan. I bring my hand up to my head and meet the hard metal shell that's been covering me since last week when I left to start out. Palpatine did something to keep me from taking it off, though I don't know why. All it's really done so far is irritate me to no end.

Padme will kill me if she finds out I'm recruiting people from her home planet to fight for Palpatine, I think miserably.

She won't be around to kill you if you don't, I reprimand myself sternly.

Maybe I should contact her. I haven't spoken to her since before I left. It's partly because I don't want her or Obi-wan to see me like this, but mostly because I'm afraid of what she'll say to me. I want to tell her what I did, I want her to forgive me, I need her to love me—but what if she wouldn't?

I decide now that there will be no more excuses. I pull the comlink out from under my chair and flick it on.

"Padme?" I ask tentatively, trying to force my voice to its original state. "Obi-wan?" Anybody there?"

There's a fumbling noise and then Padme's face appears, tired and worn. Her dull eyes look panicked and terrified when she sees me. "It's me, Anakin!" I reassure her quickly. "Padme—don't panic—it's really me." I reach across the millions of miles and find her. I send comfort and reassurance to her that I'm telling the truth. I hate to have to use the Force to manipulate her, but if she won't even believe this, then how can I get her to trust me again?

"Okay, Ani," she says blankly. Then her face clears up a bit. She seems happier to see me than she was before.

"Are you and the babies okay?" I ask hopefully.

"I'm fine," she says, "but Leia's still recovering. I still get daily updates on Luke, and he's getting so big." Tears well in her eyes, but her face hardens quickly. She bites her lip and wipes her eye roughly with the back of her palm.

"Ani," she begins hesitantly. "I'm sorry I didn't listen to you about Leia—I guess it wasn't really fair of me to just believe Palpatine without listening to you at all."

"I don't want to talk about it," I say stiffly.

"Ani, please," she begs, tears glistening again. "We need to talk about this. I don't want to either—but I have to know. Just—just say yes or no, and then we can stop talking about it, but I have to know."

"Fine!" I cry desperately, "I did it! Is that the answer you wanted? Is that what you wanted to hear? But if you'll listen—"

"No—"

"I don't give a damn Padme—you listen to me. I love you Padme—at least hear me out."

Tears are streaming freely down her face now and I regret yelling at her. She's scared. She's confused. I did nothing to make her think I'm anything other than a child torturer.

But she isn't being fair, either.

"Palpatine made me do it—" I snarl furiously, "he was going to kill her. How do you think she got that burn on her head? He had his lightsaber right over her and he would have killed her if I hadn't—done what I did. Do you think I don't regret that?" I continue ranting, "do you think for one minute I don't wish I never had to do that—"

Her eyes are sparking now. "You did it to the other children! The younglings at the Temple—"

"I didn't mean to!" I howl, clenching the commlink in a tight fist. I pull back my foot and kick forcefully at the side of the ship. The thick material combined with my metal leg is enough to dent the hard metal wall.

I stare at the small dent momentarily. I didn't know I could do that.

I groan out loud and push my head against the seat.

"Padme, I'm sorry I yelled," I apologize remorsefully, "but I need you to understand. I did not want to hurt Leia. I love our children. I love you."

She nods her head. Her face is white and she looks frightened.

"Padme, Angel, I really am sorry," I plead, "I would never ever hurt you—"

You already did, I remind myself, On Mustafar. You could have killed her.

"I didn't mean to get angry," I try to explain. "I feel so trapped. There's nothing I can do right now without Palpatine's permission."

"Then kill him!" she begs, "Ani, please, kill him."

"I can't," I admit, "I'm not strong enough. I need to sneak Obi-wan and Yoda in here somehow—maybe the three of us together can take him, but I can't." I look down at my feet gloomily.

"Anakin, you know I love you?"

"Of course."

"And I know you love me—but please don't do anything—don't kill anybody for me."

I look at her and say nothing.