"It's my choice not yours." Sam crossed her arms and pursed her lips.
"You're wrong about that. You're in my mountain and the doc follows my orders." Jack looked over his shoulder at the doctor. "Go ahead and order wildfire until we can confirm her story. Put her in an iso room just to be safe. Continue her tretonin treatments and any other necessary medical interventions until I otherwise direct you."
"Yes, sir." The doctor nodded and quickly headed away from the crowd, expecting his patient to protest General O'Neills last statement. He wasn't disappointed. He could hear her enraged voice as he slipped away.
"You can't do this to me! I deserve a peaceful death not some zombie-like existence. I'd do this for you!" Sam screamed at Jack, ignoring Carter, Teal'c and Daniel.
"Oh, really. If I showed up with declarations of dangers from the future and admitted to carrying an as yet unknown disease you'd be willing to risk the base by letting me slip into a coma and not be able to answer any questions." Jack shot back hotly, while leaning on the rail of the bed.
"I'd trust that you weren't going to do anything to harm the base because I know you." Her answer was quiet but fierce.
"See that's part of the problem. I trust Carter. She tells me something isn't safe I blow it up. She says it's safe I let her take it back to her lab to play. If I need a brilliant idea to save world I turn to her. Carter doesn't agree with you. She says the grandfather thing matters and you're throwing it out the window. How am I supposed to resolve that?" Jack's rapid shallow breaths swept over Sam as he leaned towards her.
"Because she might be right." Jack spun around towards Carter as she spoke. "I hadn't accounted for Dr. Weir's experience. I'm not convinced yet but it's worth more study."
"What are you saying?" Their eyes met as he harshly spoke.
"Her theory has potential. I need more time to review the Atlantis information." Carter held her head high as she defended her other self.
"It wasn't consensual, was it?" Daniel stepped closer to Sam's bed. The change in subject brought all eyes, except Sam's, towards him. "You didn't get this disease by consensual relations did you?" Sam looked down at her hands twisted in the sheets.
"I'm really tired." Sam half closed her eyelids and laid her head to the side. No one moved for several moments. Daniel and Carter were the first ones to give up and move towards the door. Teal'c followed after them. Jack turned to leave and then felt a hand on his elbow. He looked behind him and down. Very quietly Sam whispered to him.
"Just you." He didn't acknowledge her words. He walked over to his friends and former teammates. They preceded him through he door. He briefly glanced back at her still form as she feigned sleep.
After dinner Jack tried to read the same report four times. It was useless. He dropped the report on his desk and ran his hands through his hair. He sighed and gave in. He left his office and headed to the infirmary. He checked the main infirmary room but she wasn't there. He went to the suite of iso rooms, quickly locating her.
A nurse was removing a tray of food that she obviously hadn't touched. The nurse nodded and grinned at Jack as she passed him. He nodded back and closed the door behind her.
"Evening." Jack stepped closer to Sam's bed, dragging a chair with him.
"I wasn't sure you'd come." He shrugged. "Are you alone?" Sam glanced up at the darkened window of the observation room that looked down on her bed. Jack followed her gaze.
"It's just us." Jack glanced around the room, pulled the chair up beside her bed and settled into the chair. "Why did you want it to just be us?" He leaned forward placing his elbows on the edge of the bed, propping up his head.
"I don't want to do anything that'll affect their reactions off world. I'm here to save their lives not make them second guess themselves and end up just as dead."
"And you think telling me is safe?" Jack's voice was quiet and controlled.
"You'll be in Washington, hopefully alive thanks to the vest you're going to wear, and you won't know this mission has started until it's over." Jack grinned at her less then subtle mention of the vest and nodded.
"Ok, what happened?"
"It's the usual story, we were captured soon after we stepped through the gate. Daniel did his spiel but it made no difference. They were convinced anyone coming through the gate was evil. Teal'c and Colonel..." Sam stopped mid sentence and looked at Jack. "I probably shouldn't say there even is a fourth team member let alone who that is."
"A fourth huh?"
"Just let it happen." Jack shrugged again. "Anyway, Teal'c and the other person were taken to work in the fields. Daniel and I were kept inside." Sam shivered slightly and then started picking fuzz off the blanket that came up to her chest. Jack waited patiently.
"I think they kept Daniel because he was doing all the talking."
"Sounds like Daniel." Sam smiled at Jack's light tone of voice and comment. "Why did they keep you?" Jack's tone changed when he asked the question. He grew serious again, almost anxious.
"I was leverage."
"Leverage?"
"They used me to try and get Daniel to talk. When he refused to talk I got hit." Sam looked into Jack's eyes. "That was worse for Daniel then being hit himself. He did a great job not reacting but it was eating him up inside."
"I can imagine. What did he do?"
"He couldn't do anything but keep his mouth shut. He told them what was safe to tell and then he closed his mouth. He knew I'd rather die then have him say anything that could compromise Earth or our allies. I was just about unconscious when they stopped. They left us alone but we were still tied to our chairs. It gave me a chance to get a second wind. I thought I was ready when they returned the next morning." Sam sighed and looked up at the ceiling.
"But?" Jack leaned further forward.
"They asked a few questions but when he didn't answer they didn't hit me like I expected. They just smiled and kept asking questions. We were both getting more nervous as Daniel kept evading their questions. When they announced they were done asking questions I expected them to leave again but instead one of the leaned over and untied me." Sam gripped the blanket tighter and bit the inside of her lip. Jack let her have a moment to collect her resolve.
"I fought back but there were five of them. They took turns holding me down. They all took their turn, a couple more then once. I kept count." Jack was surprised she didn't shed a tear or even mist up. Her hands got white as she balled them into fists. She had passed sorrow and moved to anger, which she hadn't spent yet.
"Daniel screamed and begged them to stop as the first one took me. I only looked at him once, telling him to shut up and not play into this trap. It took every ounce of strength he had but he closed his eyes and mouth. They tied me back to the chair when they finished." Sam took a breath and let it out slowly. "We both cried after they left. A new group arrived a couple hours later. Daniel begged them to leave me alone. They quickly agreed. If I'd been more with it I might have realized that was a bad sign." Jack reached out and touched the back of her hand. It relaxed slightly.
"They started asking the same questions and he still refused to answer. They didn't touch either of us as they asked the questions. They just laughed. I was getting more nervous with each question." Jack wrapped his hand around hers and she squeezed, hard.
"They took Daniel." She whispered the revelation. "It was awful. He fought hard." She shook slightly.
"I couldn't help him. I wanted to but..." She chocked back a sob.
"You don't have to explain." Jack used his free hand to smooth out her hair.
"A rescue team got us out the next day but Daniel never recovered. He left the program and hid in Egypt. He didn't speak to any of us for months." She snorted. "One day Daniel shows up out of the blue. He was sick and the doctors in Egypt and New York, his first stop after Egypt, couldn't figure out what was happening so he had to come here. SGC's best and brightest finally decided it was a sexually transmitted disease unlike anything that existed on Earth." Sam tilted her head to one side and blew out a breath.
"By the time they tried the tretonin Daniel didn't know who he was let alone who Teal'c or I were. He needed 24 hour care but he mumbled about classified missions so they set up a room for him in the SGC. Teal'c and I begged for them to stop the treatments. He wasn't improving and we knew he didn't want to live like that."
"Teal'c of course blamed himself. All that Jaffa junk about not protecting one's brother was eating him up inside." Jack nodded his understanding. "He left the SGC to join the Jaffa. After he left the doctors figured out I was sick also. They got me started on the tretonin and kept looking for a cure. Daniel lingered but you couldn't call it a life. Maybe a week or two after Teal'c left Daniel had a stroke that left his right side paralyzed." Jack saw a tear in her eye. He moved his free hand so his thumb could catch the tear and wipe it away. She leaned towards his hand and closed her eyes.
"It wasn't fair. It wasn't what he would have wanted." She opened her eyes and fixed him with a piercing stare. "I shot him. Point blank through the head. I ended it for him." Jack's eyes only widened slightly. He refused to show his shock because he knew he would have made the same decision. Her shoulders straightened as she waited for his response.
"And then?" His voice was quiet but steady as he asked.
"I was arrested, tried, and sentenced to life in prison. Somehow the government kept the whole thing quiet. I just disappeared." She relaxed back against the raised back of the gurney as her fear of his reaction passed. "I was out on the grounds getting my hour of exercise when I materialized inside a Goa'uld transport vessel. Teal'c had heard of my conviction and he felt I was justified in my actions so he liberated me. Relations between the Earth and the Jaffa weren't too strong so the Jaffa refused to turn me over just to spite the SGC." Jack grinned slightly.
"So you and Teal'c found the ship?"
"No, I'd spent time going through Daniel notes in the months after he left. I had three planets I wanted to visit and I got absorbed trying to find ways to get there. I didn't let Teal'c in on the plan because I thought it was a long shot. That was a mistake. He'd internalized too much pain from losing you and Daniel. I guess I just assumed he was too strong to let it get to him like it was getting to me." Jack tilted his head and watched her shrink before his eyes.
"He joined every battle he could find. I was so blinded by my goal of getting you and Daniel back that I didn't see him slipping away. He died in some random fight. His friends said he acted like a man who had little to live for." She squeezed his hand again. "It's my fault he died too." Jack sat up straight.
"None of it was your fault." He pulled her hand closer to his body to keep her attention. "You did the best you could."
"Pete kill you because of me, I let Daniel be assaulted, I didn't insist he get the help he needed afterwards, I didn't help Teal'c deal with his guilt, and I wasn't enough of a friend to even see his distress. The evidence clearly points to me not doing what I needed to do to keep my best friends...my love alive. I have to fix it."
"The guilt you carry is no more justified then the guilt Teal'c carried and your death would be just as much a waste as his." Sam lifted her free hand and placed it on his cheek.
"I'd live if I could but I can't. I've done what I wanted to do with my life and hopefully everything will be better now. Please don't make me exist without living." Her thumb caressed his temple as her eyes roamed over his face.
"I won't...but now isn't the time." She considered this and nodded.
"But when it is the time..."
"I promise."
"And you'll wear the vest." He smiled and stood up.
"It's late." He stepped away.
"Thank-you, Jack."
"You're welcome." He moved to the door and glanced back over his shoulder as she closed her eyes. He lingered for a moment and barely heard her whisper before leaving.
"I missed you sweetheart"
----
Graduate school is piling on the work for the next month. I have tons of papers to grade in the class I'm teaching and then there's the rest of my job and all the stuff that goes with it. What I'm saying is I know this story isn't over and I know where I'm taking it but I don't know when I'll be able to finish it (or the other one I've left hanging). I apologize in advance and hopefully in August I'll be able to get back to this, before my fall classes become insane.