From Whence did she Come?

Chapter five: Jack decides

Jack went home and tried to sleep. When he rolled over for the eighth time and saw the clock read 4:48 he knew it was time to quit. He got up, dressed, and headed back to the mountain. He stopped in the commissary for a doughnut and coffee before heading to the observation room over the isolation room. He crept in quietly and took a seat. He watched her sleep for over an hour before the doctor came in.

"Mornin' Doc."

"Good morning, sir." Lam sat down beside him and looked out at the pale doppelganger lying below.

"Are you here to tell me there's nothing you can do?"

"In so many words, yes."

"I get it. Really I do."

"But you aren't ready to accept it." Jack didn't answer her. "Do you know what people would say if I walked around base and asked them to describe Samantha Carter?" She glanced over at Jack who hung his head but didn't answer. "They'd say how smart, beautiful and talented she is. The scientists would talk about her great scientific mind. How she sees things a different way and comes up with an answer to every problem. The soldiers would talk about her tactical reasoning, calmness under fire and leadership ability. Everyone admires her and at some point in the description each and everyone one of them will say she's smart or brilliant. She's spent her whole life being defined by her intelligence. If you dig deep enough you'd find she even places much of her own self worth on her intelligence. It's what always made her stand out. Now she's facing a disease that's going to take her very essence, her intelligence, away from her. I can slow down the death of her body but the loss of her mind in inevitable and it'll happen quickly. We talked last night about her Daniel. He lost his ability to reason within a month of his diagnosis, which was just three months after his symptoms began. She's had symptoms for over a year. She knows she's having trouble reasoning. Her world is closing in around her." Jack sighed and rubbed his hands over his face.

"So you're telling me to just let her go." Lam looked out at Sam.

"What else do you really need from her?" Jack looked down at Sam and sighed again. "Are you making her live for herself or for you? If you're doing this for you then you're being selfish. She's made a tough choice and she's committed to it."

"Aren't doctors supposed to fight for life no matter what?" Jack looked over at Lam.

"Her life, her essence, is in her head. I've thought about it all night and every time I put myself in her place I end up making the same decision. It won't be easy to stop all meds and let her die but I know if it was me I'd want the same thing." Jack looked back out towards Sam.

"Do it."

"Thank-you sir." Lam stood and left the room. Jack saw her reappear in the iso room. She quietly disconnected the tretonin from the iv line and disappeared. Jack sat watching until Sam's eyes blinked. He left the observation room before she had a chance to see him.

Jack attempted to work but between his own sleep deprivation and Daniels repetitive interruptions he wasn't getting much accomplished. Early in the afternoon Jack went down to the infirmary to visit Sam. She smiled when he entered the room.

"I'm glad you got down here so I could thank you."

"It's no big deal." Jack waved his hand in the air and plastered a fake grin on his face.

"It is to me and you know it." Jack sat down in the chair near her bed. "I have one more favor to ask."

"Ok."

"Please vaporize me in the stargate kawoosh." Jack's eyes widened.

"Isn't a simple cremation enough?"

"No, I have no right existing in this time. If I've done what I intended then nothing I've told you about will occur and she'll never end up here. This will insure nothing of me remains." Jack told a hold of her hand.

"You're wrong about that." Sam smiled.

"Are you going to wear the vest?" Sam's face sobered as she asked him.

"Yeah." He sighed as her face relaxed.

"Thank-you." He shrugged his shoulders in response. "You still have to go after the girl you know." Jack smirked.

"I've been thinking about that."

"Good, so has she." Jack's smile widened and Sam giggled. They sat and talked for a little over fifteen minutes until sleep dragged her away from him. He brushed her hair off of her brow and traced every feature of her face with his eyes. She looked relaxed and peaceful as she lay before him. It was how he intended to remember her.

That evening the doctor called to inform him that Sam had slipped into a coma during the afternoon. They all knew she wouldn't be coming out of it. Jack was exhausted so he went home and slept peacefully all night. The next day he closed out the old files on his desk and packed boxes for his move to Washington. Just before leaving he gave Walter a letter addressed to General Hank Landry. Walter eyed the letter but accepted it and left. Jack was packing his last box when the call came. Sam had passed away in the early evening hours. The doctor offered to let him come down and see her but he declined. He hung up the phone and went home.

Jack was sipping his second beer when the doorbell rang. He figured it was Daniel coming over to try and get him to talk about it. He was fully prepared to tell Daniel where to stick it as he pulled open the door. He was thrown off balance by the sight of Sam Carter on his doorstep wringing her hands.

"Evening…sir. I heard that you heard and I thought…I mean…can I come in?" Jack stepped back and made room for her to enter.

"Yeah, sure. Make yourself comfortable."

"I wanted to be sure you were alright." Carter stood in his living room looking at him as he closed the door.

"I'm fine. Thanks for being concerned." He stood on the step above the living room. "Can I get you anything?"

"No, I'm fine. I just wanted to make sure you didn't want to talk…or anything. I mean I'm here for you if you do…you know, want to talk." Sam was looking more nervous as she spoke. The more nervous she got the more adorable Jack found her. He stepped into the living room and stood before her.

"I definitely don't feel like talking." Sam sucked in a quiet breath as Jack stepped closer. "I do still have a lot of packing to do before the van gets here in the morning." Jack was as close to her as he dared without an invitation.

"So everything on base is settled?"

"Yep."

"You're officially assigned to Washington as of…"

"…now I suppose." Neither of them moved. The tension was rising higher as Carter concentrated on her breathing. "Are you still coming to Washington with me?" Carter sucked in another breath. "To help me get settled." Jack watched her intently.

"If that's what you want." She reached out and placed her hand on his bare arm. It was all the invitation he needed.

"It's what I want." He leaned forward and their lips touched softly.

"Good, because I put in my leave request before I left the mountain tonight." They both grinned and leaned back in to kiss again. Jack's arms came around her and pulled her gently against his body.

"I always said you were one step ahead of me." He grinned as she relaxed against him.

"I never minded being a step behind." Her eyes flashed up at him. "The view was great." He laughed out loud and swooped in for another, longer kiss.