Dear sweet flaming hourglasses, it's been awhile. I am terribly, terribly sorry to have kept you waiting. My computer has been dead...uh...RuneScape. Yeah. RuneScape has claimed most of my free time. Right. Well, Merry Christmas, Happy Haunnakuh (I probably spelled that wrong), Happy Kwanzaa, or whatever the hell you celebrate.

One last thing: My ideas are like a fine wine. The longer they sit and ferment, they better they get. On with the show!

FuriAmeriKuri Chapter 2: Cor Blimey! t3- -WT\3$$

-...BLLLLLEEEEEEEEAAAAAAUUUUUURRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHTTTTT. Goddammit...what happened? Uh...lessee...walk to school...zero divided by 2...Nazi sporks...mailbox gone...boob tube...uh...AH! I REMEMBER! THAT BITCH ON THE MOPED! THE ONE THAT SOAKED MY CLOTHES AND FLIPPED ME OFF! SHE HIT ME WITH A FREAKING GUITAR! I'M FREAKING UNCONSCIOUS! GODDAMMIT! SYSTEM REBOOT!-

Deep, deep below Andrew's skull, he had a brain. Not just any brain though. A brain with an Intel Pentium 4 Processor duct taped to it. The little...chippy...thingy...started to beep and light up, and we can zoom in and see lots of little people scrambling around a set of office cubicles.

Cubicle A- "COME ON LAZYASSES! MOVE IT!"

Cubicle B- "WE HAVE SMELL! SMELL IS ONLINE!"

Cubicle C- "HEARING ONLINE!"

Cubicle D- "TASTE! ...I want some Taco Bell..."

Cubicle F- "Feeling is online! Hey...there's somethin kinda heavy on top of us...and our general face area is buried in something fuzzy..."

Cublcle B- "You're right! It smells like...oranges and lilacs and chocolates on a bright summer's day..."

Cubicle C- "...Pansy. I don't hear anything, sir...well...there's some kinda mumbling, but since we're UN-FREAKIN-CONSCIOUS, I can't make it out."

Cubicle A- "DAMMIT! I WANT SIGHT BACK ONLINE POST HASTE, BITCHES!"

Andrew's eyes begin to flicker open.

Cubicle G- "Sight is online!"

At that particular moment, mostly because I'm tired of typing cubicle, all the rest of Andrew's bodily functions turned back on. His eyes shot fully open, and he saw...pink. Lots and lots of pink. It was a pinkapalooza. He also smelled oranges, lilacs, and chocolates. Odd. He moaned and groaned as if he were getting up for school. He tried to get up, but ya know, there was that heavy thing I mentioned earlier...yeah. That kinda stopped him. So he stopped moving for awhile and listened. He could hear that sizzly sound grease makes when you put it on a frying pan. Someone...was...using his kitchen! HAD BEEN IN HIS REFRIGERATOR? BASTARDS! Andrew made another futile attempt to get up. No luck. Well, something moved. The lump of pink something on to of him rolled over. Now he saw...yellow? Yellow eyes, more specifically. And a nose. And mouth. Most likely female. Please, God, make it female. The face was about...an inch from Andrew's face, give or take a half. Andrew's brain cubicle people were making a frenzied attempt to find out what was goung on. Now, mind you, these people can name pi to the infinitieth place in the time it takes you to wee. If they are frenzied, something seriously effed up is happening. The face continued to face (ha ha, I made a funny) Andrew for a few seconds more, then the mouth curled into a smile.

"Hmm...well, considering the noises you were making, I take it you enjoyed last night. So, ready for another round?" (Did I just piss off the HarukoxNaota shippers or what? Heh heh...)

Cubicles A through G- "...Cor blimey."

-...OVERLOAD. OVERLOAD. SYSTEMS CRITICAL. REVERTING TO MANUAL. REPEAT. ACTIVATING MANUAL OVERRIDE.-

With the speed of a thousand cheetahs, Andrew shot off the couch and out from under the pink lump, (Cubicles- "NOOOO!") and perched on top of the T.V. From there, he could see all. The lump which was on top of him was, indeed, a female. Actually, she looked like she was Xeroxed right out of an anime. She looked to be in her late teens, maybe twenty. She had a rather nice body, Andrew had to admit. And a nice face, and a nice, beautiful, pair of...eyes. Yeah. Andrew ripped his eyes away from t3h hwtn3ss with some difficulty. He looked into the kitchen to find...a robot. A freaking robot. AN HONEST TO GOD ROBOT! Making bacon and eggs! WTF? He continued to scan the room and thought that was it when he some a kid sulking in the shadows. Well, he was sitting in the La-Z-Boy, but you know what I mean. He was a year or two younger (Make that two, Naota's twelve and I turned fourteen in October) than Andrew. He was wearing a light blue hoodie with shorts. What kind of retard wears shorts with a sweatshirt? The kid was also shooting Andrew a death glare. Andrew continued to perch on the 'tube for a few more seconds, listening to the bacon sizzle. Well, he was mostly staring at the girl's...eyes. When he finally regained the ability to speak he was tempted to forget it all and dive back under the hot girl. But, he didn't.

Andrew- "...Who are you...and...what the hell ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE!"

Silence for a few minutes. Then, the girl smirked and spoke up.

"Well, I am Miss Haruhara Haruko, and your parents ordered a sitter for you!"

Andrew- "You're kidding. You're freaking kidding. A SITTER! ...Goddammit..."

He turned to the kid.

Andrew- "And what about you?"

"...It's not like I wanna be here or anything. This crazy woman drags me with her everywhere she goes."

The crazy woman the grabs the boy and nuzzles his cheek.

Haruko- "Only 'cause I can't bear to go anywhere without my little Ta-kun!"

Andrew- T.T "What about meeeee? And what the hell is a talk...koon?"

Ta-kun(?)- "Aaaagh! Get off, get off! My name's not Ta-kun, it's Naota!"

Andrew- "Riiight then Naota...what's with the robot?"

Haruko- "makes that little myu noise Oh that's not a robot. That's a...Canti 5700 Meal Cooking Vacuum Cleaner. I'm a housekeeper, too."

Andrew- "I wasn't talking to you. And do I look retarded to you? My GPA is 12. My parents are in Florida. On a cruise ship. Cell-phone-less. They didn't order a sitter slash housekeeper. That-jabs his thumb at the kitchen is a robot. R-O-B-O-T. Gundam. Evangelion. Megas XLR. That is not a bacon cookin' vacuum. Now, tell me what is going on here or I'll sue your asses for assault and battery."

Haruko leaps at him from behind and does that thing where she hugs someone from behind and puts her face reeeeeal close to the other person's.

Haruko- whispers "You're right. We're here for something else. But, tell you what. You just pretend I'm your maid, and I'll make it worth your while. Okay?"

Andrew doesn't answer for a moment. He just sits there and basks in the moment. It's not every day your average 14-year-old-citizen is this close to an extremely hot anime-ish girl.

Andrew- "Gaaahhhhh...Yeah. That works. I'll pretend I don't know anything, so long as I at least know what's going on. Deal?"

Haruko- "Deal"

Cest magnifique! Chapter 2 is finally up! Now, to clear up a few things. I know, I know, some people are gonna be pissed at the HarukoxAndrew stuff. But it's all in good fun, aye? I'll try to keep it light. I swear. This all takes place after the original FLCL. BUT! It's alternate ending. This is what would happen if Naota did go with Haruko on her flying Vespa. The whole FLCLimax episode happened, with the "I love you" and the kiss thing, so there's gonna be some blood between Andrew and Naota. That's all for now. Read, review, AU REVOIR BITCHES!