Disclaimer: RENT and its characters do not belong to me.
Author's notes: Just a depressing little one shot that's been bugging me and telling me to write it…so I did.
All Good Things
Sitting back in the loft, leaning his forehead against the cool glass of the window, it didn't seem like it had even happened. That the events of the May afternoon were all a dream. A bad dream that he had had years ago. Not a real thing that had just occurred only hours ago. When he looked down at the alley in between the buildings, at the people going about their lives, none of it seemed real.
"Roger, come on. We're having dinner."
Roger didn't turn. If someone had told him that morning that Benny would be the one reminding him to eat soon, he wouldn't have believed him. It was implausible that their estranged landlord would do such a thing, that he would return for anything but the rent. But here he was, trying to pull things together. Trying, but only succeeding with Joanne. Roger wouldn't budge from his seat at the window.
"Fine. Sit there. I'll leave some in the fridge for you."
He couldn't really even remember what had happened, making it all the more dreamlike. He remembered the beginning of the day. Getting up, getting dressed, having a bowl of Captain Crunch. He could remember that.
Roger could remember playing his guitar while waiting for Mimi to get ready. Meeting the others at the park, and just hanging out. There was lots of laughing, and Mark was filming. Taking over a playground.
He could see Mimi's hair flying behind her as she went higher and higher on a swing. Collins standing at the top of a large curving red slide before forcing his way onto it and rushing down to the woodchip covered ground. There was Joanne and Maureen, having a fight that got moved into a sandbox where sand went flying, before they made up and started to build a little castle together. He knew he was pushing Mimi, but he could hear himself laughing at Mark who backed into and tripped over the tiny horse on a spring.
"Roger are you sure you don't want anything?"
The tearful voice had no impact on Roger's life. He still just stared. A raindrop hit the window near his eye and the vision of the filthy street blurred.
"Forget it Joanne." Benny sighed. "He's not going to move until he wants to."
"Then how did he get better after April? I thought when that happened he was like this." Joanne was only asking a question.
Benny sighed again, and his fork hit the table. "When that happened he had helped from…Mark."
Roger heard the name. It was spoken quietly and more reserved, yet it was the only sentence he heard out of the conversation.
He could hear his roommate's narration, describing fluidly everything that was going on. The camera, clicking as it focused on the group.
It was the first really nice day of spring. Warm and sunny. A light breeze that ruffled his hair; he always loved that feeling. They had to go out and just live. He remembered the conversation they had had the day before. About hearing the weather report and insisting and having a really fun day where everyone blew off whatever it was they had planned.
The rain started coming down, harder and faster, to the point where he could no longer see out, but his forehead remained plastered to the pane of glass. It felt as though he couldn't move it. Not until he sorted it all out. What had happened and how…the day was running through his mind but it was all happy. He couldn't see how the next part could possibly be real.
He knew they were all walking home. His arm was wrapped around Mimi's waist. He could feel every sway of her hips, until she spun away as they were crossing the street. Roger knew they all stopped in the middle of the street, he didn't know why. For some reason they had stopped, starting to sing and dance, having a great time.
And then he could still feel a body shove into his, sending him back towards the curb. There was the screech of tires, a crash, a grunt.
A scream. Then he could see Mark lying on the ground. Two cars with mangled ends twisted at angles, pressed together. Horns honking. Collins going to talk to the driver of the second car. Mimi following him.
A loud series of pops. More screaming. Collins crumbling to the ground. Mimi right behind. Roger could feel himself forcing himself further onto the curb. Maureen rushing over and then another pop. Another screen…down she went.
Sirens. More and more crying. Joanne pulling out her cell phone, talking frantically into it.
It was hours ago, but Roger could still feel it all. The ache in his elbow from hitting the pavement. The tiny bits of his mind numbing with each word from the paramedics.
It couldn't be real…but he knew it was. That tomorrow the loft would still only be filled with himself, Joanne, and Benny. And the day after that they would be going to four funerals, combined into one. Adding four tombstones next to Angel's.
The reality was that they were all gone. Mark, Collins, Maureen and Mimi. Every last one of them was gone. The day had been great. The year wonderful. Everyone was happy. Everything was good.
Roger removed his head from the glass in the cold realization that all good things must come to an end.