Chapter Twenty-One:
"Has Ryan left for work?" Mia's inquisitive voice intruded on Kate's thoughts. She sat at the kitchen table, nursing a cup of coffee, wondering about Marissa's nocturnal events. She turned her head when she heard her and saw her come into the kitchen, in an oversized sleep shirt; a grubby looking toy rabbit looped under one arm.
"You just missed him, he left about ten minutes ago," she replied, watching her come to the table and slip into the chair beside her. Mia frowned.
"I wanted to go swimming today," she grumbled and Kate bit back a smile.
"I'm sure he'd love to go swimming with you honey but he's very busy right now. If you ask him when he gets back, he might agree," Mia looked at Kate. Her eyes looked very blue in the morning sunlight and again that gave Kate momentary pause.
"Is your mom still sleeping?" Kate got up and headed for the refrigerator, taking out some juice.
"Yeah. She does that a lot" Kate frowned as she located a glass for Mia to use. She poured out a small amount and placed it in front of the child. Mia clasped the glass with both hands frowned into it as Kate replaced the juice bottle. Pretty much like Ryan stared into his coffee cup each morning, as if waiting for the brew to give him the answers to whatever was bugging him.
"She does, huh?" Mia took a mouthful of juice and looked at her. She just nodded. Kate regarded her.
"After we've had breakfast, do you think your mom will mind if we take our usual walk on the beach? I'll leave her a note?" she suggested. Mia scowled.
"You don't have to take care of me y'know, I'm not a baby!" the vehemence of her statement took Kate aback a little. It was fierce and protective. Like someone else she knew.
"I know you're not. I could use the company that's all. If you don't want to, then that's okay too," Mia seemed to consider this and then she shrugged.
"I guess she won't mind," she responded.
While Mia got herself dressed, Kate poured herself another cup of coffee and pondered another thought that had come to her. Ryan had been sure to tell her that Mia wasn't his daughter but the idea had began to occur to her during breakfast. The colouring was there; there were aspects of his personality in there too. Maybe it was just a coincidence. Mia also looked startlingly like her mother. Maybe she was mistaken. If Ryan were indeed her father, then wouldn't he know already? She finished her coffee and was in the process of loading the dishwasher when Mia reappeared. She took a couple of seconds to clear away the box of cereal that Mia had nibbled her way through before scribbling a note to Marissa and pinning it to the fridge. Mia smiled at her as she slipped her hand into hers and they headed for the beach.
Marissa saw the note taped to the refrigerator that informed her that her child was at the beach with Kate. She should feel relieved that Mia seemed to have bonded so well with Kate, but despite it all, it niggled at her. Mia was her child, hers alone. Since her birth, they were all each other had and Marissa had been content with that, until a doctor's diagnosis changed that and forced her to face up to some home truths. Last night, she'd felt as though she'd reached absolute rock bottom and the bleed hadn't helped matters. She knew that she had to tell Ryan and maybe she would have but then her nose had begun to bleed and then Kate had appeared with her concern and her talk of emergency rooms and doctors and instead she had panicked. Now she'd woken up at a ridiculously late hour to find the house empty and her daughter with Ryan's lover. And that was another thing that rankled. Kate Carpenter sharing Ryan's life. This world famous singer and songwriter sharing a bed with a guy she'd gone to school with, plain old Ryan Atwood. And Ryan seemed happy to be with her, they seemed to be in love. Marissa sighed irritably; it wasn't like there was anything she could do about that, she and Ryan had been over a long time ago.
"She's asleep, the sea air must've knocked her out," Kate sighed as she dropped onto a chair in the living room. Marissa looked at her.
"I really appreciate what you're doing for Mia, she really likes you," she commented. Kate smiled.
"She's a special kid, it was my pleasure" Marissa smiled in agreement. Mia was a very special kid indeed.
"Haven't you ever thought about getting married and having a family?" she asked her and a shadow seemed to cross Kate's face at her question.
"Never met the right guy to want to settle down with, despite what the media might say,"
"You seem to be linked with every hot Hollywood actor or musician that comes onto the scene," Kate looked at her and rolled her eyes at the same time.
"Because they don't have anything better to do that's all. I meet a guy for lunch and the next day we're about to get married, or if he's married, we're having a torrid secret affair. It's pathetic,"
"I can imagine," Marissa replied drolly and Kate grinned.
"Sorry," A companionable silence fell. Outside it was getting dark. Kate then looked at Marissa for a few seconds. Her heart began to thump in her chest. Should she outright ask her about Mia's parentage? What if she was wrong? And more to the point, how would Marissa react?
"Something bothering you Kate?" Marissa's voice intruded on her warring thoughts. Kate blinked.
"I'm sorry, I was miles away. I was just thinking about Mia this morning at breakfast. Does she always scowl into her juice in the morning?" Marissa laughed.
"Adorable isn't it? Yeah, she does." Kate smiled, nodding.
"And she was eating dry cereal out of the box, she would not entertain the idea of having any milk on it, weird or what?"
"Yeah, Ryan does that too…" Marissa laughed and then her voice faded and she stared at Kate wide-eyed.
"You know don't you?" she accused. A brief but tense silence ensued.
"That Mia is Ryan's? It had occurred to me. You're saying I'm right?"
"Yeah" she replied, her voice barely a croak.
"She's Ryan's?" Marissa nodded and Kate sighed and briefly closed her eyes.
"How did you guess?" she continued. Kate looked at her.
"A culmination of things, she has aspects of his personality, a fierce protective streak a mile wide, then there's the physical side, she has his eyes, the hair colour is close and you confirmed the juice observation. And the cereal thing…I just thought that I was imagining things" Marissa sighed raggedly.
"Are you going to tell him?"
"It's none of my business Marissa, but I do think that he has a right to know, don't you?" she watched tears brim in her eyes and she went over to sit beside her.
"I was going to…I am going to tell him, the right time never happened," she breathed, wiping at her eyes.
"Does Mia know?" she asked softly and Marissa shook her head.
"She's a bright girl, it's only a matter of time before she figures it out for herself, heck I did. She needs to know, they both need to know," she slipped an arm across Marissa's thin shoulders.
"I could stay with you if you think you could use some back up?" she offered and Marissa looked at her.
"That's really sweet of you, but I think it's something I need to do alone," Kate nodded in understanding.
"Okay. When you do decide, let me know and maybe I could take Mia out for the day, do some shopping, take her to see a movie or something?" Marissa frowned at her.
"Why are you being like this?" she demanded.
"Because I remember someone being kind to me on my birthday once. I said I didn't do birthdays and that was because it was just another day to my mother, it was as though she didn't want to be reminded of the anniversary that she pushed me into the world," Kate explained. Marissa looked at her.
"You never talked about your mom even back then," Kate shrugged, removing her arm from around Marissa's shoulders.
"There's nothing much to talk about, we didn't get along, that was it" she replied matter of factly.
"How do you think Ryan will react to the news that he's been a father for the last seven years?" Marissa wondered. Her eyes widened as all the implications began to sink in.
"He's going to hate me, absolutely hate me," she moaned.
"No he won't. It'll be a shock and he'll be angry but he'll never hate you. I just want to know one thing though…were you ever going to tell him?" Marissa looked at her and for a second her expression was distant.
"One day," she admitted almost on a sigh.
Chapter Twenty-Two:
He'd heard a whisper that Kate was performing at The Bait Shop tonight and decided to check it out for himself. She hadn't been performing there regularly. He knew that her mother frowned on her pursuing any kind of a musical career and made things difficult for her on occasion but he remembered how alive she came when she was behind a microphone, singing her songs. He remembered seeing her here for the first time, the way she'd looked at him, how she'd laughed when they'd made their escape from the surfer who'd tried it on with her. She had been confident, headstrong and comfortable. Now she was a former shadow of that. The last thing she'd said to him was that she intended to leave Newport Beach before it killed her. And it had echoed around his head continuously since.
The whisper had been a good one, the place was packed out. He saw the piano on the stage; her acoustic guitar set up beside it and ignored the flutter in his stomach. She was here.
He stood at the front when she walked on after her introduction. She caught sight of him and she smiled at him. He smiled faintly in response and waited for her to begin.
The place became silent as she sang. She didn't need much of a backing band, it was pretty much her and the piano or her guitar and that was all that was needed.
He found her sitting in the office a while later. She was slotting her guitar into its case. She turned and saw him standing in the doorway. She didn't look surprised, or mad or anything like that, there was nothing in those eyes. He remembered the expression in her eyes at the Valentines Day ball, the sparkle he'd seen and noticed that it was gone. He saw the big black heavy hold all at her feet that seemed stuffed full of whatever she cared enough to take with her. Then he realised almost at the same time that she was finally leaving.
"What's this? A farewell performance?" he asked. She shrugged on a jacket and got to her feet.
"I don't expect you to understand Ryan," she told him. He walked towards her.
"Understand what? That you're running away? Oh I get that part. I just don't know why" he retorted. She turned to face him.
"This place, these people, will suffocate me if I stay any longer. I want my own life, on my own terms and I can't have that here!" she hissed. He looked into her eyes and saw that she was right.
"There's a bus leaving here in twenty minutes. I intend to be on it and out of here," she told him.
"What about your parents?"
"They're at a function that I was able to wriggle out of, I'll be long gone before they realise I'm not there to clutter up their lives,"
"They'll come looking for you," she shrugged.
"Let them. I'm eighteen now, they can't do anything about it" Ryan sighed, ignoring the ache in his chest.
"Want me to walk you to the bus station?" She stared at him and then she smiled.
"Yeah, I'd appreciate that," she whispered.
At the bus station, Kate was tense, her expression watchful. He realised that she'd been planning this for a long time and didn't want any last moment hitches. Her bus was already there, waiting, people were boarding. Kate turned to look at him.
"This is me," she said on a sigh. She couldn't wait to be out of here he realised. She watched him hand her holdall to the driver who loaded it up. She still had her guitar slung over one shoulder, her shoulder bag over the other.
"You still have my cell number. Call me if you ever need me," he told her. She smiled briefly and nodded.
"Or even call me once in a while, just so I know you're okay," she half laughed; it sounded almost like a sob.
"I'll be okay Ryan," a last call went out. She looked at him.
"I'd better go," she told him. He went to her and hugged her tightly. They drew apart. Kate stared into his eyes. He lowered his head and kissed her. She began to kiss him back, clinging to him. When he drew back, she was staring at him, eyes wide, almost in surprise.
"You'll miss your bus," he told her. A lump was rising in his throat. This was it, actually it. Kate was leaving. She kissed his cheek and then turned and headed to the entrance of the bus. He stood and watched as she climbed aboard and found a seat. She stared at him through the window as the engine roared to life and the bus began to reverse out of the stop. She waved and he waved back, still unable to tear his eyes off her, taking in every last inch of her, because who knew if he would ever see her again.