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Chap. 09 – Bonds

No matter how hard he tried, Draco couldn't concentrate on his work. Hermione had already called this to his attention four times, but it was no use. His mind was focused on Harry and that weird morning they had spent together.

What an awful way to start the day. An argument with Harry hadn't been in Draco's plans. In truth, he knew Harry would have snapped sooner or later. He just hadn't expected it that soon. Draco had let his guard down that morning. He should have been prepared for Harry's harsh words. He should have seen them coming. But he hadn't and now he was paying the price for being so careless.

He hadn't expected to feel so miserable. He had had no idea that it would hurt so much to hear Harry calling him a fag. Harry's apology wasn't enough. He wanted to see Harry begging for his forgiveness. It would be even better if Harry gave him a blowjob in exchange for absolution. Draco shook his head and smiled sadly. That was something that would never happen.

'You know I hate you. You know I like hurting you. I will forever call you names. I don't know why you are so surprised!' Harry's spiteful words kept coming back to him. Along with them came others, even more hurtful and unkind. Draco remembered very well his father's words the day he had caught Draco in bed with another boy.

'You're a disgrace! A perversion! Do you think I'll let you go on with this? Do you? I'll take this sickness out of you even if it kills you!' And indeed, Lucius had almost killed him with his incessant sessions of psychological torture, potions and spells to take the so-called sickness out of him. All of Lucius' magic tricks were in vain. Draco had remained the same. Too bad Draco had been an only child, because Lucius hadn't given up on him. He had still tried to push Draco to his limit. He had tried to make Draco a Death Eater. Lucius had driven him mad. Until one day, when Draco had had enough, and he realised that he wasn't the sick one. His father – the one he had always been so proud of – was sick. His whole belief system was sick.

Draco had then joined the Order in secret. He had betrayed his father and abandoned the only life he had ever known. But all of those sacrifices hadn't meant anything to the wizarding world. With Dumbledore's death, there had been no one left to stand up for him. Dumbledore had been the only one who believed in Draco. The old man had given him a second chance in life. But with Dumbledore dead, Draco had been left alone to face the consequences of his actions. He had been condemned by society for betraying his own parents - never mind that they had been Voldemort's servants. And at the same time, he had been treated with disdain because of his surname.

The Malfoy name, once so respected, had been put to shame.

It had been the Weasleys and Hermione who had helped him find his honour again and put himself together. For that, Draco would be eternally grateful.

He frowned as the memories invaded him. He thought he had gotten over his past, but one morning with Harry had proven him wrong. Harry had hurt his feelings. For a moment that day, Harry had reminded him of Lucius. Draco had felt so terrified, so helpless. He could bear the thought of Harry hating him for being Malfoy, his nemesis. But he couldn't handle Harry hating him for being gay.

Harry's acceptance shouldn't be so important to him, but it was.

At least Harry had been honest. Such honesty, as brutal as it might have been, had taken him by surprise. And even if Harry's next words hadn't brought him any consolation, they hadn't discouraged him either.

There was still a flame in Harry's eyes. All the pain Harry had suffered obscured it, but it was there. Draco wanted to be the one bring back the flame. He wanted to see those beautiful green eyes sparkling with the same joy as before.

Harry hated Draco but wanted him to stay. Did that mean anything? Draco shouldn't get his hopes up too high. It would just make the fall more painful.

It had surprised him even more that Harry was concerned with their life and death bond, a bond that Draco had never given much thought about. Now he wondered why. He knew those bonds were strong between wizards, but he didn't know much about them. Could it be that the bond was the reason why he felt so attracted to Harry? He made a face. The bond had nothing to do with it. Draco had had a crush on Harry before the bond.

"Hermione?"

Hermione raised her head away from the report she was writing and arched her eyebrow, slightly annoyed for being interrupted. "What?"

"What do you know about wizards' bonds?"

The subject seemed to interest her because she dropped her quill. "What kind of bond are we talking about?"

"How many bonds are there?"

She made a disbelieving face. "Are you kidding me? There are tons of bonds between wizards. There are bonds of friendship, bonds of marriage, bonds of love, bonds of power, bonds of life and death… You can even bond yourself to your house, but no one does that anymore."

"You actually have a bond for marriage and another for love?"

"Well, in the past most marriages weren't for love. They were arrangements between families. I thought you knew that. I mean, the Malfoys had always married through familial arrangements, hadn't they?"

"And how do you know that?"

"I read it in A Legacy – The Old and New Generation of Witches and Wizards. It dedicates a whole chapter to your family."

"Really? I don't remember that book…"

"That's probably because the author doesn't seem to like your family… The chapter is anything but flattering."

Draco shrugged. "I'm not surprised… But enough about my family. What else do you know about bonds?"

Hermione laced her fingers together and rested her head on the chair. "Bonds were very common in the past, but because they were dangerous, people stopped using them."

Draco jolted in his chair. "Why are they dangerous?"

"Well, because a careless bond can lead the parties involved into madness."

Draco's heart almost stopped. "All bonds are dangerous?"

"Not all of them... But most are."

"Even the life and death bond?"

"It depends. The life and death bond can be very complicated, but only if you cast it upon yourself and a second person. You see, some bonds come naturally. You don't need a spell to have a bond. In fact, the dangerous bonds are the ones created by spells and potions. Natural bonds aren't so dangerous, but they are very rare and therefore hard to find in books."

"What about life and death bonds that happen naturally?"

"I'm not very sure…" she looked thoughtful. "Normally, natural bonds don't lead to insanity, because they weren't created by spells. They just happen. They are strong, but you can live the rest of your life apart from the person you are connected to without any problems. Unless, of course, one of the people involved is obsessed with the other. Then it can be a problem."

"By obsession you mean love or… hate."

"Yeah, you could say that." She stared at him curiously. "Why are you asking me this? Did something happen between you and Harry?"

"No," he replied defensively.

"You look weird today. Something happened. You just don't want to talk to me. Was he rude to you?"

Draco rolled his eyes. "He's always rude to me. And the worst part is that I can't blame him."

"Well, you reap what you sow."

"Oh, that is so bloody profound!" Draco sneered.

She made a face. "Just tell me what's wrong. Why are you suddenly so interested in wizards' bonds?"

He took a deep breath and decided to tell her. "I saved Harry's life once. We were still in the Order. We were on a mission and he was careless. I got him out of the way of an Unforgivable Curse. Now he says we are bound together because of this, and he seems very concerned about it."

She almost fell off her chair. "Really? Why don't I know about any of this?"

"I don't think anyone knows. As much as I felt like bragging about it, I didn't tell anyone. I guess Harry didn't tell anyone either… He really seems worried about the whole thing. I can't understand why. I won't ask for his life," he sneered.

She bit her lower lip. "But you could, if you wanted to. That's probably why Harry is so concerned. After all, he doesn't trust you. It must be hard to owe your life to an enemy."

"Thanks for the kind words," Draco sniggered.

She sighed. "I'm sorry, Draco… But if it's of any consolation, I do believe Harry doesn't hate you the way he thinks he does."

"I don't feel any better."

"Too bad…"

"So he owes me his life and I have a right to claim it. That's a very dangerous bond…" And very interesting too, he thought. There he was, joking about wanting Harry's soul in return for his favour, and he could actually have Harry's soul. Without having to ask for anyone's permission. He smiled.

"I told you most bonds are dangerous. But Draco, you won't do anything to him, will you? He's so fragile right now and…"

He shook his head and smiled at her concerned expression. "Hermione, dear, you were the one who sent me to help him. Now you are worried?"

"I didn't know you two shared such a strong bond!"

"And what does that mean? Do you want me to give up on him and forget the whole thing?"

"No. I just want you to take it easy on him."

"You should have thought of that before… With or without a bond, I can hurt him."

The smile she shot in his direction told Draco exactly what she was thinking.

"But you won't hurt him. You aren't the same spoiled-brat that I slapped once."

Draco smiled at the memory and he stroked his face softly. "I still remember it. That was quite a slap! I can still feel it," he mocked. "I should have sued you when I had the chance."

She smiled back, but then her face got very serious. "We could try to break the bond. There isn't any evidence that natural bonds can make you insane, but… One can never be too sure. I mean, look at Snape."

"What's wrong with him?" Draco frowned.

"What isn't?" Hermione bit her lower lip and then began to explain, "Harry's father saved Snape's life once. Because of that, Snape was bonded to him. The bond remained even after James' death. You probably don't know this, but Snape hated Harry's father to a point that he became obsessed with it. His hate led him to madness. Snape hated Harry because of it, and in his tormented mind he couldn't separate Harry from James. That was why he picked on Harry so much. That's also why he kept protecting Harry. It's a contradiction, I know. Because while he hated Harry, he was bonded to him."

"Snape was bonded to James Potter, not Harry!"

"Well, yes. But like I said, his hate was making him mad. He thought that by helping Harry he would get rid of his bond with James. I don't know if it worked. I never saw Snape again after our Graduation…"

"So this is why Potter is so concerned. He's afraid he'll end up like Snape."

"I don't know. Maybe… I'll see what I can find out about the subject."

He watched her pick up the quill again and get back to work, but Draco sensed her concern. He knew her mind was searching for more information about wizards' bonds.

"Look, Hermione, you know I would never do anything to hurt him, right? I mean, Harry and I will never stop getting on each other's nerves, but there's a limit even to that."

She sighed and rested the quill on the table again. "I know. But… perhaps if I had known sooner about this bond, I wouldn't have asked for your help. It isn't that I don't trust you. You're my partner. I know you've changed a lot. But I'm afraid that this bond might hurt both of you with or without your consent."

"So maybe I should leave him alone after all…"

"No! You keep bugging him, but try not to exaggerate. Because of you he already spoke to Ron and me on his free will. He was the one who came looking for us. So I'm very pleased so far. Just… watch out."

Draco nodded, his eyes lost in the fake landscape of the also fake window. Watch out? She was joking. Right?

TBC…

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