Chapter Twenty-Seven:
Time merged. People came and went. Kate sat in the waiting room and thought about what was going on. Ryan had emerged from Marissa's room, looking pale, almost shell-shocked. Sandy pushed a cup of coffee into their hands; they'd drank it automatically. Seth and Summer had come out of her room not long ago. Seth had been white and wide-eyed with a mixture of shock and grief, Summer almost inconsolable and her heart had ached at the sight.
The door opened and automatically Kate looked up. She watched as Ryan emerged first. His face was white, eyes glassy. Kate stood up. Behind him were Jimmy and Julie. Julie was sobbing and Ryan didn't have to say anything, his expression said it all for him. Then finally Mia emerged, pale too. The little girl slipped her hand into Ryan's and held on tightly. Kate walked towards them.
Kate lightly gripped Ryan's upper arm and gently propelled him to the car. She helped Mia inside and like before, made sure she was securely fastened in before getting behind the wheel. She looked at Ryan. He was staring out of the passenger window. She started the engine and they drove home in silence.
Back in the silence of the house, she made them something to eat and watched them while they did. Ryan was going through the motions, one look into his eyes told her that was all it was, she doubted he even tasted what he was eating.
She helped Mia change for bed after a warm bath. She read to her, sitting beside her on the bed and then afterwards just sat with her.
"Can I ask you something Kate?"
"Sure" Kate replied.
"What's going to happen to me now?" Kate just looked at her.
"Nothing's going to happen sweetheart, you're going to stay here" she replied.
"Does Ryan want me? He looks so sad," Kate knelt down beside her bed, she gently stroked her cheek.
"He is sad Mia, he's missing your mom and remembering the happy times he had with her, it doesn't mean that he doesn't want you, he loves you very much," she kept her voice low, reassuring.
"I'm glad he's my dad" Mia confided. Kate looked at her, and then she smiled softly.
"You should tell him that sometime, I think he'd really like to hear it,"
Ryan came into the bedroom, a single blue towel around his waist. He saw Kate sitting on the bottom of the bed, staring out of the huge window, pretty much as he did. She lifted her head as he sat down beside her.
"Feel any better?" she enquired and he just nodded.
"You need to sleep," she told him and he noticed the t-shirt and pyjama bottoms that she'd lain out on his pillow.
"Are you coming too?" she looked at him, seeing the water drops pearlising on his skin, noticing the intensity of the colour of his eyes.
"Soon," she promised him.
She made herself some tea, the mundane routine of preparing it soothing her soul, helping her to process her thoughts. She began to pour boiling water into the cup and then stopped. She dropped the tea kettle back down and stared at the kitchen counter. She took a couple of deep breaths and closed her eyes. The backs of her eyes burned and she braced her hands either side of her, trying to fight back the insurgent emotions inside of her. She sighed and then gasped.
"Hey," Ryan's voice was quiet, strong as he grasped her shoulders and turned her around. She looked at him with tear filled eyes.
"Everything will be okay," he murmured and drew her against him. She clung to him, burying her face into his shoulder and she cried.
Chapter Twenty-Eight:
He was awake early the next morning. He left Kate to sleep.
He couldn't stomach any coffee this early in the day so he poured himself some juice instead. He remembered Mia asking for coffee the week before and he told her that she had to have milk instead. He smiled to himself. Maybe he should've recognised himself in her then. He turned his head and saw her standing in the doorway. She just stared at him with wide blue eyes.
"What are you doing up so early?" he asked.
"I couldn't get back to sleep, you're not going to send me back to bed are you?" he shook his head.
"No point if you can't sleep," he watched her walk towards him, going to sit at the table.
"Want some juice, some milk?" he asked and she shook her head. He sat down beside her.
"How are you feeling?" he asked her in a quiet voice. He saw the pain etched there and he decided then that he would give anything to be the one to erase that from one so young.
"Sad. Scared," she admitted and he frowned.
"Why scared?" her eyes welled up and tears spilled down her cheeks.
"Because my mom isn't here anymore and I'm scared you won't want me," Emotion rose within him, threatening to choke him. He remembered being this scared too as a kid though it had nothing to do with bereavement. He had been scared of being abandoned, his family hadn't amounted to anything worthwhile when he was Mia's age but they were all that he had. He lifted Mia off her seat and on to his lap. He wrapped his arms around her and hugged her to him.
"Mia, that will never happen, understand? I will never leave you, or not want you ever, I swear," he told her, his voice husky. He swallowed, resting his chin on the top of her head.
-----
The house was full of people, everyone had gravitated towards him, Sandy and Kirsten, Seth and Summer and even Jimmy and Julie. And Kate was the dutiful hostess, making sure there was plenty of coffee available, alcohol too if it was needed. Kate was touched that they had thought of Ryan as well as Mia during this time. She slipped into the kitchen to put on more coffee. Instead she found Mia at the table. She looked so self-contained, dressed in a pair of jeans and a pink t-shirt that they'd bought on their shopping spree the week before. She had refused to wear black, her mother didn't want her to so why should she, she had calmly argued and Kate couldn't reply to that. She wanted Mia to feel like her opinion mattered and so she'd chosen her jeans and t-shirt.
"Hey Mia," the little girl looked up.
"You hiding?" she just nodded. Kate looked towards the kitchen door.
"Want to walk on the beach?" she suggested.
"Would we be allowed?" Mia whispered.
"I think so, you want to?" she watched Mia nod. She went over to her and took her hand.
"Let's go," she whispered back.
-----
Ryan listened to the conversation flowing around him. He wondered where Kate had gone to, or where Mia was. He went to the window and saw them heading down to the beach hand in hand. He sighed almost enviously. What he wouldn't give right now to join them.
"Don't you think Ryan?" he turned his head at Julie's voice.
"Do I think what?"
"That Mia should come back with her grandfather and myself tonight? Arrangements need to be made," she regarded him expectantly. Ryan turned around and looked at everyone.
"Actually… I have an…announcement…to make. Marissa and I had been planning on doing it together, when she was ready but…" he took a deep breath. He fixed his gaze upon Julie.
"Mia won't be going anywhere. She's staying here with me. She's my daughter" he watched his bombshell explode in the middle of the now silent room, watched their expressions change as they grappled with the information.
"What?" Julie exclaimed a short few seconds later.
"She's mine. Biologically. Marissa told me last week"
"And you believe her?" Julie exclaimed, her cheeks then flushing when all eyes turned her way.
"I have no reason not to" Ryan replied calmly. Jimmy was regarding him. Ryan looked at him and understanding dawned.
"You knew, didn't you?" Jimmy stood up, shrugging.
"Never for sure but I had my suspicions, but there were signs there,stuff thatcould've also been equally explained away because Marissa's colouring was so similar to yours," Ryan faced him.
"You're not going to hit me are you?" Jimmy frowned.
"Why would I want to do that?" the younger man shrugged.
"I didn't know til last week, if I had…."
"Ryan, I know you're the responsible type, if you had known you would've said so" Jimmy then interrupted. He then turned to look at his wife, who looked furious to say the least. A perverse part of Ryan wanted to laugh. He remembered back when he was sixteen, seventeen, in between his time with Lindsay and his thoughts about Kate, and he had been dating Marissa that Julie had often tried to make him wait on the doorstep for Marissa when they were going out, tried to put countless obstacles in his way in his pursuit of her daughter and now here was the incontrovertible proof that she had ultimately failed. Mia's paternity.
He stood in the kitchen with a bottle of beer in his hand. Kirsten and Sandy had left with Summer and Seth, all with promises of help should he need it. Kirsten had hugged him and told him that Mia couldn't have chosen a better father if she tried and that had warmed him a little. Jimmy was sitting on the balcony and Julie was in Marissa's room, choosing an outfit for her funeral.
"Ryan?" he turned around and saw Julie standing at the kitchen entrance, several hangers over an arm. She walked towards him, placing them on the kitchen table.
"I thought we might have a talk," she suggested. Automatically Ryan's senses went on guard.
"Okay," he responded carefully. He turned his head as the kitchen doors opened and Jimmy came back in.
"Mia is busy building a huge sandcastle with Kate," he commented. Ryan nodded; glad his daughter was occupied because a sixth sense was telling him that what was coming wasn't going to be pleasant.
"So, what's this about?" he asked Julie. Jimmy looked enquiringly at her as he went to stand beside her.
"It's about Mia," she replied and Ryan frowned.
"What about her?" He watched them exchange a look.
"We want custody of her," Julie told him and for a second Ryan just gaped at her, ignoring the equal look of surprise from her husband.
"You know that's not going to happen," he responded eventually.
"How will you be able to look after a seven year old child by yourself? With us she'll have everything she could possibly want!" Julie countered. Ryan looked at her.
"I'll learn, like every parent. And I have money, I can provide her with what she needs,"
"You're a single guy, with single guy needs, won't that interfere?"
"With what?" he retaliated in exasperation, "apart from work, I don't have much of a social life. I have Kate, I have a support network," he explained.
"And what happens when Kate gets tired of playing mommy to another woman's child? Do you really think that she'll stick around long enough? Marissa wasn't in her right mind when she asked you to raise her," Ryan took a deep breath, seeing a red mist begin to descend. He clenched his fists.
"Nobody knows what the future will hold Julie. Maybe Kate and I will get married and then Mia will have the two parent unit you obviously think she needs," Ryan answered. He glanced at Jimmy.
"I've had enough of this conversation" he turned and began to walk out of the kitchen.
"You really believe that Mia is your child?" Julie shouted out and Ryan was halted in his tracks. Slowly he turned around.
"Why would Marissa lie to me? Why would she keep something like this a secret from me for seven years and then tell me about her, for you to think that she's lying?" his voice became quiet but there was no mistaking the fury beneath it. Julie bristled.
"Because of your white-knight alter-ego? She knew that you would do anything to help her, and who's to say she didn't play on that?" Ryan didn't respond for a second.
"If you want me to take a paternity test, tell me where and when and I'll be there. That's if you really want to put your granddaughter through any more turmoil. And for your information…" he walked towards her until he stood less than a foot away from her.
"It was Kate who recognised Mia as my daughter. Marissa confessed to her. Hardly the work of someone planning on using me don't you think? You would think so low of your daughter? Even before you've buried her?" his voice rose and his control began to slip.
"That's enough Ryan," Jimmy interrupted and Ryan looked at him. A frigid silence stretched between them before he returned his attention to Julie.
"Like I said, just name the time and the place if you want to put Mia through any more distress. Right now I'm going to go down to the beach and spend some time with my daughter, I want you to leave" and he walked out of the kitchen.