Chapter Twenty-Nine:

Today was a day he never thought he would see. He sighed and stared up at the cloudy sky. It was uncomfortably humid; he could feel his shirt sticking to his back. He resisted the overpowering urge to tug at his tie. Instead he shoved his hands into the pockets of his black trousers and waited. He turned his head as the front door opened and he saw Kate and Mia emerge. Mia regarded him uneasily, all the while holding onto Kate's hand. Ryan looked at her, she looked so small, so scared. He reached out and took her other hand. Kate had helped her dress in a plain white shirt and black skirt. She'd brushed her hair til it shone and braided it down her back. She looked so much like her mother at that moment that Ryan found it hard to breathe. She'd inherited Marissa's inherent fragility and no doubt would grow to be as tall and as beautiful as her mother too.

"You ready?" he enquired gently. She looked up at him and nodded.

Ryan hadn't wanted to travel in any of the funeral limos, preferring instead to drive himself. But he'd allowed Mia to accompany her grandparents. He followed the cortege from the Cooper residence, keeping a respectful distance but all the while never keeping his daughter far from view. Kate didn't leave his side, looking elegant in a plain black shift dress, her blonde hair pinned up, a pair of dark sunglasses keeping her eyes from view. He looked at her and felt reassured by her presence.

Ryan watched Mia from the graveside. She seemed to be holding up well to what was going on around her and he wished with all of his heart that he could save her from it. He'd thought about them staying at home today until common sense had reminded him that she needed this time to say goodbye. And Julie's probable reaction to her not attending was enough to make him almost break out in a cold sweat. The words of the priest washed over him and he came back to the present when he felt Kate's hand slip into his and squeeze it reassuringly. He stole a quick glance at her and a quicker smile. He turned his head to try and concentrate on the service and instead heard the whirring of a camera shutter. He looked up and saw the press congregated outside of the cemetery. Anger welled up inside of him because he knew that it wasn't Marissa's funeral they'd come to cover.

-----

The service ended and the mourners dispersed, back to their limos and similarly expensive cars. Ryan went to Mia and scooped her up into his arms, holding onto Kate at the same time.

"I'm sorry about the press photographers," she whispered to him. He looked at her and frowned.

"It's not your fault that they're here," he assured her, but she felt otherwise.

They clustered around the trio as they emerged from the cemetery. Mia clung to her father, burying her face into his shoulder as the media clamoured around them, throwing questions at them. Ryan kept a tight grip on Kate's hand as they headed towards his car.

-----

The Wake was held at the Cooper residence. The palatial Cooper-Nichol residence to give it its full name. Everyone who was anybody was there, to eat, drink and gossip besides pay his or her respects. Ryan had spent a lot of his post-Chino years at soirees similar to this one and knew what they were really about. He looked at Kate as he unfastened the top button of his shirt and loosened his tie a little.

"Want to get out of this heat?" he suggested to her. She nodded gratefully. The clouds haddisappeared into pure blueskies.He took her hand as they went in search of cooler climes. Mia was with her grandfather. Whatever Ryan thought of Julie, he liked Jimmy, liked the fact that he loved his grandchild unconditionally and it was good enough for him. Marissa had always been a daddy's girl and it looked as though, with Jimmy, Mia was following suit.

They sat poolside, at a table with a huge parasol protecting them from the vicious heat. Kate sank into the chair gratefully and looked across at Ryan.

"I'll get us something cold to drink" he told her. She just nodded and watched him do just that.

-----

"Kate" she looked up at hearing her name and saw Julie standing there, watched her slip into the chair that Ryan had just vacated. Kate looked at her and had to marvel. If the woman had had plastic surgery in the past then she had an extremely good surgeon, there were no signs of ageing, no outward signs that she was old enough to have a seven-year-old grand daughter. Her skin was unlined, expertly made up but it was those almond shaped eyes that put her on her guard. She knew Julie's reputation of old.

"Mrs Cooper," she greeted mildly and secretly hoped that Ryan wouldn't be too long with those drinks.

"Please. We're all adults here, it's Julie and thank you so much for coming today," Kate nodded.

"Marissa and I were friends," she replied. Julie regarded her.

"It must've been a surprise to you to find out that Ryan and she had a child," Kate shrugged.

"Of course we didn't know…we were quite shocked," Kate looked at her.

"I can imagine but she didn't tell anyone," Julie looked at her and the expression on her face made Kate feel a tad uncomfortable, like being held in the thrall of a snake right before it was about to strike.

"Do you really believe he's Mia's father? Ryan told us that it was you who guessed," Kate began to frown.

"Have you looked at Mia? I mean, really looked at her? The resemblance is there, it's unquestionable," Julie sat back a little. Kate tipped her head to one side.

"Ryan told me about you and your husband wanting custody. He'll be a good father, you just need to give him the opportunity to prove it"

"What does he know about being a father?" Julie hissed irritably. Then she made an effort to pull herself together.

"I just know Mia would be happier with us, we'll be able to give her everything she could ever wish for and more. Ryan needs to see that," she muttered, sounding very much like a recalcitrant child.

"Who Mia needs right now is her father. With respect Julie, if Marissa wanted Mia to stay with you then she would've specified it" Julie glared at her.

" I hope that you like the idea of bringing up another woman's child Kate. Pretty soon you'll get that marriage proposal I know you've been wanting and you'll always wonder what the reason was for it. Does he love you heart and soul or is he looking for another mother for his child, and hopes that a wedding ring will seal the deal?" Kate watched her stand up and walk away. Fury boiled within her but she knew that now wasn't the time or place to make a scene.

-----

"Hey Ryan," he swung around, two tall glasses of iced water in his hands and smiled when he saw Seth. Like him, the tie was loose, the top shirt button unfastened.

"Hey," he greeted.

"How's fatherhood?"

"Scary as hell but I'll get there," Seth smiled.

"With Kate by your side, I can imagine that you will. You two seem pretty tight," Ryan smiled again.

"We are," he confirmed.

"You're thinking maybe that she's The One?" Ryan shrugged and glanced across to see Julie Cooper sitting opposite her and it looked as though there was a very intense conversation going on. Alarm bells sounded in his head. He looked back at Seth.

"Maybe. I'll let you know. Listen, I have to go, I'll catch up with you soon, okay?" Seth nodded and watched his foster brother stride away.

He walked back to where Kate was sitting. Her head was lowered and she looked to be deep in thought.

"Here you are. Sorry about the wait, a lot of thirsty people about," he placed the sweating glass down in front of her. She looked up at him and smiled her thanks before picking it up and taking a sip. He just watched her, sitting down opposite her.

"You okay?" she looked at him.

"I'm fine Ryan," she replied. He shrugged one shoulder.

"I saw Julie talking to you before. Looked intense" she glanced at him again.

"Just making small talk, that kind of thing, nothing intense about it,"

"I didn't think that you two had much in common," she looked sharply at him.

"You'd be surprised at what two women can talk about" she informed him.

Chapter Thirty:

He drew her up against him and pressed a kiss on her forehead. She could feel all of him, his heat, his skin, smell him. He made her feel alive. The only light in the room came from the moon and she watched as he looked at her, the moonlight washing his skin silver pale.

"Can I talk to you about something?" his voice was rough sounding in the silence.

"Sure," she moved away from him and he sat up and saw the way she tucked the sheet under her arms.

"I've never done this before, so I'm going to go straight out and ask okay?" he turned his head and looked at her. Her heart began to pound a slow, heavy beat.

"Do you want to get married?" her stomach did a weird kamikaze type plunge and her heart fluttered at his casually spoken words. He was watching her, waiting for her reaction.

"To each other?" she cursed her stupidity as soon as the words left her mouth.

"Were you thinking of marrying someone else? Yeah to each other," he replied. Kate sighed shakily, also sitting up now.

"Sorry, not one of my more memorable moments," she apologised.

"It's okay," he replied with a shrug. She looked at him.

"Then I need to ask you something too," the moonlight was bright enough that she could see the uneasiness on his face. She swallowed and briefly looked at her hands. Then she looked at him again.

"If all this stuff with Mia and Marissa hadn't happened, would you still be asking me?" silence followed her question.

"You think I'm asking you to marry me because of what's happened? Because of Mia?" his voice rose slightly in amazement and she attempted a nonchalant shrug.

"It occurred to me," she replied quietly. Ryan sighed and shook his head.

"Forget it," he muttered and he lay back down, facing away from her, telegraphing loud and clear to her that the conversation was over.

Sandy opened the door and smiled when he saw Ryan standing there with Mia.

"Did you lose your keys the last time you were here?" he teased as he opened the door wider. Ryan shrugged, ducking his head a little in embarrassment.

"We were in the neighbourhood" he lifted a paper bag "brought a food offering," he handed the package to him and watched as he opened it, peeped in and then smiled at him again.

"Come on in, both of you," and watched them both do just that.

Everyone was congregated in the kitchen. They said their hellos. Coffee was poured and one by one each member of the Cohen family dispersed. Ryan watched Mia disappear hand in hand with Summer who had promised her full access to her make up case. He sighed and turned his head when he felt Sandy's hand on his shoulder. His blue eyes were sympathetic, understanding.

"How are you doing?" Ryan couldn't speak for a moment and just shrugged instead.

"Why don't we sit down and you can tell me about it?" he invited and still with his hand on his shoulder, led him to the table. Ryan sat heavily, watching Sandy sit beside him.

"I noticed Kate isn't here," he watched Ryan take a sip of his coffee and stare into it.

"Problems?" Ryan looked at him this time. The man beside him was the closest he had ever had to a father, an involved, caring father.

"I asked Kate to marry me last night," he admitted in a low voice.

"And she turned you down?" Ryan frowned.

"Not exactly. She didn't exactly say yes either. Just asked me a weird question," he returned his attention back to his coffee cup.

"What kind of question?" Ryan shrugged.

"She questioned my motive for asking her,"

"Ah." Startled, Ryan looked at him. Sandy saw his look of confusion and smiled wryly.

"Women can be difficult to read at the best of times, when you think you know them for sure, they throw you an emotional curveball leaving you wondering whether you ever really knew them in the first place,"

"Your timing Ryan, Marissa's funeral was just yesterday, she wondering if there's a connection," he watched him as he joined the dots and then closed his eyes.

"How could I have been so stupid," he groaned.

"It happens to the best of us kid. And when she asked you why, you were so full of hurt pride that all of that kind of got forgotten, am I right?" Slowly Ryan nodded.

"Mia has a mother…had…a mother, that's not the reason I asked her" he sighed loudly.

"Then you need to talk to Kate, tell her that,"

"I'm not good with words, you know that," Sandy regarded him, all teasing humour gone from his eyes.

"Then now is the time to get over that. If you love her, then you'll know what to say"

-----

The house was silent. He turned his head and watched Mia follow him inside. She'd had a good time hanging out with Summer, it was a connection to her mother and Ryan was glad that they'd had that time together. He made a mental note to make sure that she saw her more often. Right now Mia's finger and toenails were painted a vibrant shade of Summer-red. He should've said something, that she was too young for that shade but there was a sparkle in his daughter's eyes that hadn't been there before so he'd decided to let it slide.

"Want to take a walk on the beach with me?" she lifted blue eyes to his and shook her head.

"I don't know where Kate is. What do you want to do?" he watched her shrug and he withheld a smile. He had to expect this, this apathy.

"Why don't we find something to do?" and he scooped her up into his arms. He felt her arms slip around his neck as they walked out onto the balcony.