Author's note: Sorry this up date took so very very long. The good news is I passed all of my classes. Also M.I.A. stands for Missing In Action. My sister was proof reading and didn't get the acronym so I thought I'd explain it.

Crumpets Aren't My Style

By Marz

Too Good to Be True

Snape woke up strapped to a bed. In his experience, this sort of situation never turned out well. His head was throbbing and it felt as if someone had dropped metal shavings into his mouth as he slept. That there was a metallic tang on his tongue seemed to back that theory. He pulled at the tan leather bands around his wrists and ankles that held him down. There was only the slightest amount of give in them, and almost an instant after he tested them, two guards walked into the long, dimly lit concrete room. They didn't look directly at him, so any chance of gathering information through legilimency was slim. It was twenty more minutes before O'Neill showed up, wandering into the room with a mildly interested expression, as if he had just realized he liked the furniture. A moment later the large dark-skinned man with the gold symbol on his forehead strode purposefully in. The two men arrived at Snape's bedside simultaneously.

"So, what brings you to Colorado, Mr. Smith?" O'Neill asked.

"The weather," Snape drawled.

"The weather?" O'Neill asked.

"I'm working on my tan," Snape said, his lip twitching in a sneer.

O'Neill stood nonplussed for a moment then turned to the silent dark-skinned man. "Teal'c, I think he just made a joke."

"Indeed," the man, Teal'c apparently, replied.

Snape's eyes were drawn to the symbol on the man's forehead. He had seen it through the eyes of the man's companions and told the werewolf to look it up. Surprisingly, he had actually managed to find a reference to it. It was the symbol of the ancient Egyptian god Apophis, an entity that fought to keep the world in darkness, while Ra, the sun god, fought to keep the light. Snape supposed that could mean any number of things. The man standing over him could be a dark wizard, bound somehow to that entity. He'd run into such cults before, but they rarely left Egypt. And he'd never seen this man use anything that was explicitly magical. The strange staff-like weapon the man used to aid their escape from the Dark Lord's mansion was something Snape could not explain, but he supposed it could have been some sort of muggle technology.

Snape looked into the man's eyes, trying to find some ingress with legilimency, but found nothing. The man's mind was completely closed. It could be the recent blow to the head, Snape thought. He turned his gaze on O'Neill.

Lying on the ground surrounded by ice…"Go Carter…That's an order"… "I'll come back with help"…so cold, hard to breathe… "Go!"

The images were cut off suddenly as O'Neill fell over and broke eye contact. The muggle was back on his feet instantly but nearly fell over again. Teal'c caught the collar of his shirt as he started to tip. Snape supposed that proved his own abilities had not been affected. Teal'c had noticed him trying to sneak through his dreams using Hag's Wine as well. Snape still wasn't certain if this confirmed magical abilities or not. O'Neill's sense of balance returned and he pointed a reprimanding finger at Snape.

"Keep that up and we'll have to strap another bucket to your head."

Snape rolled his eyes.

"Fine, be that way. Is he well enough to be moved into a secure room?" O'Neill shouted over his shoulder to the woman in the white coat who was just coming through the door.

"Yes sir."

"Then do it."

O'Neill looked at the bottle of aspirin sitting on the pile of paperwork in front of him. He'd taken two of them to get rid of the headache left over from Greasy going through his mind. That was about an hour and a half ago. It hadn't really helped. He contemplated taking some more. He really needed this headache to go away. But more aspirin would be a very bad thing if he got shot that day. Too much aspirin would interfere with clotting. So really it all depended on whether he thought he'd be shot in the next few hours. He decided he would risk it.

He swallowed the pills without water and then picked up his pen. Greasy was causing them an ungodly amount of paperwork. He was beginning to wish they had just let the FBI take him three days ago when the opportunity presented itself. Now O'Neill had to get approvals for the new pile of medical expenses in addition to approvals to keep another prisoner on the base.

If that wasn't bad enough, the situation with the missing rebel Jaffa was not improving either; still no contact and the Prometheus was just now getting ready to leave orbit. It would be bad enough if it were just Bre'tac and Rya'c missing. They were all Teal'c had in the way of family, but Harry was M.I.A. as well, and he wasn't supposed to be anywhere near the "A" to begin with. O'Neill was about to put pen to paper when an alarm went off and his phone simultaneously began to ring.

"What is it, Walter?"

"Telemetry from NORAD, sir. They've picked up a large incoming object just passing through the asteroid belt outside Mars. Dimensions match that of Go'auld mother ship."

"Crap, dial the alpha site. Full alert. Lock down the base."

Walter hung up. O'Neill hung up his black phone and grabbed up his red phone.

"Are they there yet?"

"No sir," said Sgt. Walter, sounding more than a little annoyed.

O'Neill didn't blame him. He found himself acting not unlike an annoying eight-year-old in the back of the family car. He half expected Walter to threaten to turn this ship around and go straight home if he didn't keep it down. The Prometheus had launched to check out the Goa'uld craft, which had come to a relative stop just outside the orbit of the moon. They had more then a few telescopes pointed at it, but the imaging wasn't terribly clear.

They'd called the Asgard for help and gotten the answering machine. This probably meant the little gray guys were up to their armpits in replicators, and too busy defending their home galaxy to worry about little old Earth. They'd called the Tok'ra and gotten an answering machine as well. This was probably because the Tok'ra were big jerks who only answered communications when they wanted something from Earth.

They had a few fuzzy pictures of the craft taken by orbital telescopes. Externally the ship seemed to be in good shape, but it was moving toward Earth at a crawl. Though the pictures couldn't really tell what was going on inside the ship, they had been able to identify some of the markings on the pyramid-shaped spacecraft. It was Ba'al's command ship.

All attempts at communication with the ship had failed. No one had told them to surrender or die. It could be a good thing, O'Neill supposed--maybe they weren't there for a fight. Of course the alternative was that surrender was not an option, and the snakehead in orbit was pretty much settled on killing them all. And all they could do was watch a little green dot, move toward a big red dot on the monitors.

"Are they there yet?"

"No, Sir," Walter said through clenched teeth.

O'Neill picked up the phone and called secure room three. He'd sent Carter and Teal'c to interrogate the prisoner while they waited for the Prometheus to report in. Teal'c had wanted to accompany the ship, in case there was a battle. O'Neill hadn't wanted him on the ship for the same reason. The Prometheus picking a fight with a Goa'uld mother ship was equivalent to a Pomeranian picking a fight with a Kodiak bear. If things turned out for the worse all the Prometheus could do is run for help. The big problem was there really wasn't anywhere else for them to go.

Carter answered the phone after three rings.

"Sir?"

Snape watched more and more annoyed as the muggle woman, Carter, spoke into the receiver. They'd been asking him fairly pointless questions for the past few hours. He had tried to get some information on his own, but the women avoided eye contact and the man, Teal'c was still completely immune to Legilimency.

"Are they there yet sir? Yes sir. No sir. No sir. Yes sir."

Whatever news the muggles had received had them all on edge, and the flashing red lights and warning klaxons cancelled out every assurance he received that everything was "under control".

"I demand to know what's going on," Snape said.

"A training exercise," said Teal'c, the gold mark on his forehead catching the glaring fluorescent light. "It does not concern you."

"Since you are lying and this base is under some sort of attack, it does indeed concern me. I demand you return my wand and release me."

Teal'c raised an eyebrow.

"Sir? Yes sir. They are sir. We'll be right there sir," Carter said, putting the phone back in its cradle.

"They've docked. The General wants us in the briefing room," she said.

They both headed for the door.

"And what am I to do?"

"We'll have someone get you some coffee," Carter said.

Snape thought she was smirking a bit too hard. Then they were gone and he was left in the bare concrete room. He knew the werewolf was locked up only a few rooms away. As he was escorted through the halls Lupin had called out "Hello Severus" from behind one of the hundreds of indistinguishable doors. They'd sat him down in a chair and asked him questions, which he hadn't answered. And now here he was. Here he was. He tapped his fingers on the table.

They'd funneled the transmission from the Prometheus into the SGC briefing room. Their suspicions had been raised when communication was lost for nearly fifteen minutes. Now they all sat around, hardly daring to believe their ears

"They couldn't get the communication systems working. In the battle for the bridge they beat the hell out this ship. Frankly sir I'm surprised they managed to limp into the solar system. It will take months to repair," Colonel Williams, the temporary captain of the Prometheus said.

"But it's not full of crunchy snakehead surprises?" O'Neill asked.

"No sir. The free Jaffa managed to override the computer systems. The self-destruct has been shut down."

"Well this is amazingly good news. Where's the but?"

Colonel Williams frowned. "Master Bre'tac was involved in an accident, sir. He was doing something in the engine room, we aren't entirely sure what, but there was some sort of booby trap…"

O'Neill felt Teal'c leaning in over the top of the screen. He knew they were both praying to keep three specific words from tumbling out of the Colonel's mouth.

"…he's been badly injured sir. The ship had a sarcophagus but it was damaged along with most of the other systems in the battle. He's in bad shape sir. Doctor Leonard can't do anything for him, and she says we can't move him. He's in and out, but she says he doesn't have more then a few hours."

"You're sure the ship is secure."

"I am sir."

"We're coming up."

Snape started down into the murky brown surface of the beverage. He hadn't tried to drink any of it, of course. The smell was more then enough to turn his stomach sour. He'd read the newspaper they'd given him several times over. He looked back into the coffee. He wondered if it had any of the Hag's Wine in it. He hadn't been able to get into anyone's dreams for the last few weeks, so he'd assumed they'd either run out of or stopped using the batch he'd altered. Dust motes were collecting on the surface of the liquid and he was about to give it a stir when he noticed something strange about the reflection in the dark liquid. It wasn't him.

"What are you doing here, Severus?" asked a faint and distorted voice.

The reflection spell in most cases could only be done on mirrors or very pure water. He was more then a little impressed that Lupin had gotten it to work on something as mystically contaminating as coffee. Of course he'd never admit that.

"What do you think I'm doing here? I came to retrieve your fool self from the muggles."

"And how does your being locked in a cell at the other end of the hall come into play here? They took your wand, I suppose?"

Snape gritted his teeth. "Actually I was on my way here when I ran into someone I used to work with. The muggle authorities found me after I'd nearly drowned in my own blood. All of your disapparating must have set off one of their locator spells."

Lupin sighed into the surface of his drink, disrupting the connection for several seconds. "And I suppose you were captured coming to warn me?"

Snape snorted. "Hardly. If someone is going to put you out of the world's misery I am most definitely first in line."

Lupin had the audacity to look put-upon.

"I don't suppose you know what's got the muggles in such a state?" Snape asked.

Lupin shook his head. "This place reeks of fear and nervous tension though. I keep hearing them say something has come into orbit. I suppose it could be an asteroid of some sort."

"The International Astrology Society would have sent out a global warning if anything really dangerous was headed toward the planet," Snape said.

"I've also heard the word Goa'uld mentioned several times. Something about Goa'uld ships. Is Goa'uld some sort of slang for Russian?"

"How would I know that?"

Snape glared into the coffee. This bickering wasn't particularly helpful, but was more entertaining than the crossword.

The X302's had been ready to scramble ever since the Goa'uld craft was spotted, so as soon as Teal'c and O'Neill stepped onto the asphalt at Edwards, there was a ship ready to go. Originally O'Neill had wanted to use the Asgard beam system on the Prometheus to transport them aboard instantly, but they were out of range and he didn't want to order the ship to leave the Goa'uld craft. It had taken an hour and a half to get to the base and it would be another half an hour flight time before they reached the Prometheus. He'd called back to the SGC every twenty minutes or so, but the situation remained unchanged.

O'Neill rubbed at his face as they taxied out of the hanger. Teal'c was lead pilot on this one, so all he really had to do was sit in the back seat and worry. O'Neill had called in all the influence and favors he had to get permission to leave the base. The SGC was going to be under the temporary command of General Briggs until he got back. He knew it looked bad to leave his post, even with permission for something that amounted to a personal reason, but he'd argued that Bre'tac had fought with them against the Goa'uld for eight years and he deserved a show of respect if he was on his way out.

Carter and Daniel had wanted to come to, but Briggs had put his foot down. He needed Carter to explain the Goa'uld technical data they were receiving from the captured ship and Daniel to translate the incoming code, to check for more booby traps and other ominous things.

"Flight one, you are clear for take off."

"Confirmed command, Flight one-"

O'Neill was pressed backward into his seat as Teal'c cranked the engines. The small triangular craft shot down the runway. Teal'c hit the main engines almost the second they were off the tarmac and O'Neill was pushed even further into his seat. They were burning fuel way too fast and way too early. They wouldn't be able to fly this X302 back to Earth. At this rate they'd have to leave it parked on the Prometheus and wait for it to be carried down. He kept his mouth shut, though.

The whole flight he kept his mouth shut. There was nothing that could be said. A friend and fellow warrior was dying and there wasn't anything they could do but keep him company. There were no words to make it easier. There was only solidarity.

They burned their way up out of the blue mist of the atmosphere into the black starry backdrop of space. Teal'c adjusted course with a tight turn, and they shot towards the Prometheus. It came in view, rapidly expanding from two pinpoints of light into two ships, one dwarfing the other. They slowed and landed neatly in the Prometheus' hanger.

Teal'c was pulling off his helmet and mask even before the green light for atmosphere came on. The flight crew rushed over to help them pull open the cockpit. Teal'c was out even before the glass and titanium frame was even lifted, and O'Neill was forced to run to keep up with them. Colonel Williams met them in the corridor outside.

"We have the first reports ready for you, sir. Not only is this a Goa'uld mother ship, it was Ba'al's mother ship."

O'Neill missed a step as he processed the information.

"And where do you think Ba'al went without his ship?" O'Neill asked.

"According to the Rebels, he's dead sir. The boy, Harry Potter killed him."

O'Neill nearly tripped over his own jogging feet as he heard that. Teal'c was getting further and further ahead of them.

"The boy was captured and somehow managed to blow something up in the room Ba'al was interrogating him in."

They reached the ring room and O'Neill had to dive onto the platform. Teal'c had already activated them. There was a bright flash of light and the Prometheus vanished.

The first thing O'Neill noticed out of place in the Goa'uld ring room was the 9mm pressed against the base of his skull.

"Is there something wrong, lieutenant?" he asked.

If there was one thing he hated more then being threatened with a gun, it was being pistol-whipped with one. Of course if there were two things he hated more then being threatened, being shot with a gun was definitely up there. It probably would have been first actually, but his head was still ringing from being pistol-whipped and he was having trouble putting things in order.

O'Neill had fallen to his knees and was struggling to get up when he heard a zat fired behind him. He ducked but the shot hadn't been at him. There was dull thud as Teal'c fell to the floor beside him. He turned and saw Rya'c, Teal'c's son, now pointing the zat at him.

"Get to your feet," Rya'c growled.

The lieutenant nodded and raised the 9mm to reinforce the order. They cuffed O'Neill's hands behind his back. Several airmen from the Prometheus were dragging Teal'c away, but O'Neill really wasn't in a position to do anything about it. Rya'c shoved him, and they started walking. They passed several corridors with very noticeable structural damage. Some places looked as if the walls had literally melted. In one it looked as if they were cutting people out of the walls. O'Neill tried to slow down and watch but Rya'c hit him again.

"You know I am seriously considering taking back the toaster I gave you and what's-her-name at your wedding," O'Neill said.

Rya'c didn't respond.

They got to another ring transporter and he was shoved inside. There was a glaring light and loud whirring as it activated. He blinked, trying to clear his eyes. They came out on the peltak, the equivalent of the bridge, which in standard Goa'uld fashion was decked out like a throne room designed by the artist formerly known as Prince. Was that guy still using that weird ankh symbol? O'Neill couldn't recall. His headache was getting worse. He looked around, gaze finally settling on the figure in the ornate throne-like command chair. His mouth dropped open, but he couldn't find words. It wasn't a problem for the Goa'uld.

"Here we are once again, O'Neill. This time you will not escape."

The deep voice echoed around the room. His headache suddenly seemed insignificant compared to the tight feeling in his chest. The kid stood up from the throne and walked slowly down from the dais. He wore a long black and gold robe that was at least six sizes too big for him, and the fabric made a scratching sound as it trailed across the floor. It looked as if an attempt had been made to organize the kid's bird-nest like hair with massive amounts of gel and still failed. It might have been funny if it wasn't so horrifying. The boy once called Harry stopped in front of him. An eerie orange light flashed in his eyes.

"You will kneel before your god, Ba'al."