Disclaimer: … Ok. They DO NOT belong to me at all. Are you happy now??
Thank-you-list: Jamie, Jade and Lildove, my dearest beta readers! And my critics: Brenna8 ; zina2000 ; SexySiriusBlack (Sorry if you were disappointed... I actually thought about making it more dramatic, but then I changed my mind) ; Mistal: The Poisoned One ; zenith ; midnightprowler (I almost sure that chapter 24 will be uploaded this month.) ; willow ; Maggie ; CuriousDreamWeaver ; silver emerald eyes (don't hate yourself! Whatever it is that is bugging you, I'm sure things will work out! Scintillation means cintilação in portuguese. I love you tôo! Thanks a lot!!) ; Ellie Hope ; Ana (sádica? Lol! Só um pouquinho… XD Mas acho que você vai gostar desse capítulo, que está Hot-Hot-Hot!) ; driven to insanity (yes! Thank you for correcting me. I was so sleepy...) ; ura ; AlannaRiddle ; Tsuyuno (Lol! Don't worry about Fleur.) ; Dead With A Pulse
; Kuraii Koneko (lol! I guess a lot of people is secretly reading fanfics! Sorry to hear that your birthday wasn't nice… ) ; Flammy ; kt ; Loving (did you mean Fred or Bill??) ; DemonRogue13 (isn't Fleur irritating??? I loathe her.) ; Smoocher of Evil (lol!) ; raffyne ( I so agree with you! A lustful Harry is a very – beautiful – thing! I'll wait for you so we can feel old together! XD) ; leftoversushi ; Malfoy Snogger (yes, it will! How about now??) ; Aish Luthor ; ice ; ktrin ; Elyzchan (This chapter isn't The Chapter yet, but it gets close enough!) ; SilverDragon161 ; hopelessromantic2006 ; chisox727 (No! 30 isn't old at all!! Tell me it isn't!! XD) ; Lexy-Kun (don't worry about your english. My English isn't that great either! My betas help me a lot. I'd be lost without them. Thanks for reviewing!! ) ; Annie (hmm... I'll answer that in a minute.) ; Daphne Pessanha (Cenas de banheiro são clássicas em mangás de yaoi!!! Então resolvi fazer minha versão Draco-Harry 2.0 – o banheiro! LOL! Espero que vc goste!) ; ririka ; NLB .
Moi wrote : "if harry s not gay and not straight, is he dracosexual?" LOL! I LOVED IT! I think Harry is Dracosexual in this fic!!
IMPORTANT! READ THIS: The original chapter is rated NC-17, but the site doesn't allow NC-17 fics, so I had to edit this one. If you want to read the original version of this chapter, there's a link to my yahoo group in my BIO. But don't worry. There weren't any major changes.
Random notes about FLEUR: For those thinking that I'm pairing up Bill with Fleur, think again. I don't like her at all. So, what do you think?? Will I pair her up with Bill?? I'm not that mental, you know?
Chap. 22 – Reason for Desire
Draco was doomed. He knew it the moment he saw Harry entering the bathroom. Draco bit his lower lip hard and clenched his fists on edge of the sink, but his body couldn't stop shaking. There was only one other man in the loo besides him and Harry, but noticing the tension, the man quickly disappeared. Draco took a deep breath in order to calm his heart down, but it was in vain. His heart always beat erratically when Harry was around.
His eyes met Harry's through the mirror hanging on the wall and he almost moaned. Harry looked irresistible tonight. Their morning walks and well-balanced meals had done wonderful things to him. The brunet had lost that paleness that made him look sick; and even though his body was still skinny, it wasn't bony anymore. The old flame in Harry's eyes was back again, making it hard for Draco to resist him. And the fact that Harry wasn't wearing his glasses only made it more prominent.
Harry looked very attractive all dressed up. Draco was used to seeing him in casual clothes. Black and red were definitely Harry's colours. That lustful new look was mind blowing. Draco was suddenly back at the beginning of his seventh year, when he had first realised he had fallen in love with Harry. That was the Harry he wanted. That was the Harry Potter that had bewitched his senses in the past. That was also the man Draco hated and feared the most.
The casual Harry Potter he could handle. This new and improved fuck-my-brains-out Harry Potter was entirely different.
Everything was so confusing. Draco still couldn't believe that what he was seeing in Harry's eyes was desire. It was true that Harry had sent him several mixed-up signals that week, but Draco had judged Harry to be too much of a coward to act upon whatever he was feeling. Besides, Draco had chosen to ignore his own feelings for Harry, and he really thought he was doing a good job.
But with just one look Harry had ruined everything, which just showed how fragile Draco's defences were.
In one last desperate resort, Draco thought about Bill and ordered himself to get a grip. No matter how much he wanted to take this chance, he would do the right thing. He would convince himself that what he was seeing in Harry's eyes wasn't an invitation, but an illusion created by Draco's own desire. He would blink and Harry's eyes would stare at him with the animosity of last week.
"Potter," Draco began, trying to sound indifferent. "I'm surprised to see you here. I…"
Harry grunted. "Please, don't."
Draco frowned. "Don't?"
Harry crossed his arms, upset. "Don't do this."
"Do what?"
"Pretend you haven't noticed. And before you ask, you know damn well what I'm talking about." Harry began to pace nervously. "This isn't easy for me, all right? It's all a big mess, and I'm not sure of what I'm supposed to do. But I feel like I will explode if I don't do anything. I need to get this out of my system. Ever since that kiss, this is all I've though about, day in and day out, for the whole fucking week."
Draco didn't know what he was supposed to say, so he just kept quiet and waited for Harry to finish his heated speech.
"That's why I decided to stop playing this stupid game," Harry went on. "Maybe I am wrong, and I'm making a complete fool of myself, but when you kissed me, I felt something and I thought you felt the same thing. And today, when our eyes met, I swear that your feelings were matching mine."
Draco's eyes briefly twinkled. He wanted to ask Harry to stop. He wanted to deny everything that Harry was saying. And most of all, he wanted to pretend that he didn't know what Harry was talking about. He was ready to do all of those things, but Harry cut him off.
"Please, just let me finish," Harry said, staring straight into Draco's eyes through the mirror. Draco nodded slowly, and Harry continued, "As I was saying, I thought, when our eyes met, that you were feeling the same way. Do you?"
Draco's heart skipped a beat. "Do I?"
Harry bit his lower lip and walked towards Draco, grabbing the blond by the arms and turning him around to face him properly. Draco almost panicked. His instant reaction was to pull away, but Harry's hands tightened themselves around his arms like claws. "Stop playing games with me, Malfoy. You're not stupid. You know what I'm talking about. Do you feel the same way? Just answer me with a simple yes or no," Harry said demandingly.
Draco smiled bitterly. The answer to that question was anything but simple. Harry should know that. What exactly would Harry do if Draco's answer was positive? Would Harry chicken out like he always did?
Draco was furious with Harry, because Harry hadn't said exactly what he felt for Draco, and exactly what he wanted from him.
"Am I crazy? Was I imagining things?" Harry asked.
"Aren't you straight?" Draco asked back.
Harry let go of Draco instantly, and Draco almost screamed from frustration. It was so typical of Harry to act without thinking about the consequences. Harry only thought he wanted Draco. It was just a game, and Draco didn't want to play along.
"What's the matter, Potter?" Draco sneered. "Did I just hit a nerve?"
Harry's familiar sparkle of loathing was back again. Something broke inside of Draco, but he told himself that it was for the best.
"I have no idea what you're talking about, Potter, so if you want something from me you'll have to be clearer than that." Draco bit his cheek and called himself an idiot. He was deliberately provoking Harry. What was he thinking? He didn't want to provoke Harry. He just wanted to wake Harry up to reality.
"I… I'm so confused right now…" Harry smiled bitterly. "Actually, Malfoy, I can't think straight at all when I'm with you. I try to, but then my heart races and I feel dizzy when you come near me… and… and… I…" Harry passed his hand across his hair, messing it even more. "I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know what to feel. I'm tired of trying to figure it all out on my own. I was hoping you could help me."
Draco gulped. If Harry expected Draco to feel sorry for him, he would be very disappointed. Draco didn't need to go through that. He didn't have time to deal with Harry's denial. He didn't want to. That was a very dangerous path. Draco's life was finally on track again. If Draco accepted Harry's offer, he would damage everything he had built for himself so far.
"I don't know what you want me to say," Draco began hesitantly. He hated how weak Harry made him feel.
"Actually, I don't want you to say anything. I just want you to kiss me again," Harry said bluntly.
Draco's heart almost came out of his mouth. He closed his eyes for a moment, thinking that perhaps it was all a dream. But as he opened them again, Harry was still in front of him, looking feverish and devilishly attractive. Harry's cheeks were slightly pink, and his lips were swollen and pleading to be taken. Draco turned his head away and faced his own image in the mirror. He was stunned by what he saw. He looked exactly like Harry. The red of his cheeks were already spreading to his neck, a clear sign that he was losing his mind. It was a disease, he told himself, and it was taking over his whole being.
'Fuck it all,' he thought. He had waited for this moment his entire life. He had longed for that exact look on Harry's face. He could just take what was being offered to him and think about the consequences later. It would be just for that night. Then Draco would move on once and for all, and he would get over Harry.
Then again, Draco knew himself pretty well. He wouldn't be satisfied with just a free sample. He would want more. For Harry it was probably just a fuck. Harry was acting out of curiosity. But for Draco, it would mean so much more than that. It would mean a dream come true. How many days of his seventh year had been spent in fantasies about Harry? How many days he had spent trying to figure out a way to win Harry's trust?
"I'm only asking for a kiss," Harry said softly.
Draco shook his head. "You're asking for a lot more than that." You're asking for my soul, Potter. And the sad thing was that Harry didn't even realise it. "I'm with Bill. He's waiting for me."
Harry put his hands in his pockets and leaned against the wall behind him. "I know. I respect him a lot, which makes things even more difficult for me. But you didn't think about Bill when you kissed me the first time." There was a tone of accusation in Harry's voice. Draco wanted to punch him, but Harry was right. Draco hadn't thought about Bill when he had kissed Harry. "I have no right to ask you this, I know…"
Draco turned around and stared at him. "Damn right you haven't."
"I know. But I can't help it. This whole thing is driving me crazy! It's that damn kiss! You shouldn't have kissed me if you were so in love with Bill! That's the problem with you, Malfoy. You don't think about your actions much, do you?" Harry asked, knowing that the last sentence wasn't for Draco but for himself. Harry was the one who had the tendency to disregard the consequences of his actions.
Draco snorted, outraged. "Don't be a hypocrite, Potter. You are the one who doesn't think about your fucking actions! I'm thinking about mine right now! Besides, you are the straight man here, right?" Draco grimaced. "I don't want to wake up dead tomorrow just because you suddenly realised that you slept with another man and are too disgusted to face yourself."
"I would never do something like that!" Harry exclaimed, outraged.
"You would regret it."
"I wouldn't!"
"Yes, you would," Draco said sadly. "And then, in a classic Harry Potter move, you would blame it all on me. I don't understand you at all, Potter. You make it clear that you hate me. You let me know how much you despise me. You called me a bloody fag! And now you come here and ask me to kiss you… And you make it sound so cheap… You don't care at all about me and my feelings, do you? Do you?!" Draco shouted, not knowing what he was saying. The words kept coming out uncontrollably. "You have no right to look at me like that. You had no right to follow me here." Draco looked down. "This week was good, right? Not perfect, but at least we got along. Don't spoil this. I… I'll hate you forever if you spoil this. I like… being your friend. I like… that I don't have to hate you now. So let's just forget about this and go back to…"
"No," Harry cut him off decisively. "I saw the way you looked at me. You want me."
"So what?" Draco said crossly. "This is nothing but a game to you. You just want–"
"You," Harry said emotionally but firmly. Draco felt his legs weakened. "I want you."
"Why?" Draco asked feebly.
"Why do you need a reason?"
"Because I can't believe you."
"Then I'll prove it to you!"
Harry gripped Draco's arms, pushed him into an empty cubicle and locked them in. Right at that moment, two men entered the bathroom talking animatedly, but Harry and Draco didn't seem to care. They couldn't take their eyes off each other.
Draco's old self was still debating with his new self about the implications of his actions. His new self was telling him to push Harry away and get out before things got too messy. But his old self wanted to him to take that chance and forget about the consequences. His old self would never turn down Harry's request. He wouldn't even think twice about it. He would just kiss Harry without further ado.
Harry moved closer to him and Draco felt his unsteady breath caressing his cheeks softly, sending shivers down his spine. He touched Harry's waist slightly as Harry's hands moved towards his face, holding back the urge to purr and rub himself against Harry like a cat.
Draco's old self was winning the battle. Draco was tired of resisting. He threw all of his precautions out the window and shut up the part of him that kept screaming in his ears that this was a very bad idea.
Harry's body was so close now that Draco completely forgot about the world outside. All he could think about was Harry's breath on his lips, and the tips of Harry's fingers brushing his neck. With half-opened eyes, Draco stared at Harry, dazzled. With his thumb and forefinger, Harry touched Draco's chin. The green eyes seemed fascinated by Draco's pink lips. Draco moved his head forward and their lips touched. They remained like that for a while, their lips only brushing one another softly, until the tip of Draco's tongue came out to lick Harry's parted mouth.
Harry sighed, completely enraptured. There was no way Draco could push him away now. Draco's hand slipped to Harry's chest where he could feel Harry's quickened heartbeat. He caught one of Harry's hands and placed it on his own chest so Harry could know that Draco's heartbeat was beating as fast as Harry's. Then Draco guided the same hand down his body, letting it go only when it reached the button of his trousers. Harry unbuttoned them, his eyes fixed on Draco's.
Draco's hand unbuttoned Harry's jeans next, unzipping them slowly. He was surprised to find Harry already hard. Their eyes questioned one another silently. Draco nodded his head almost imperceptibly. He couldn't hold back his desire anymore. He told the voice of reason to scram. He wanted to lose himself in that sweet madness.
"You can kiss me," Draco whispered against Harry's parted mouth.
Harry gave him a sly grin and then his lips met Draco's, one, two, three times. Draco sighed in frustration. He wanted a deep and wet kiss, with everything else that came along. Harry didn't seem to be in a hurry; he was enjoying their game of seduction. His mouth nipped Draco's earlobe, and he whispered softly, "This won't be just a quick fuck."
Draco melted in his arms. He damned Harry for saying exactly what he wanted to hear. Draco captured Harry's lips in a breathtaking kiss and wrapped his arms around Harry's waist. Their bodies aligned perfectly, and Draco rubbed his body against Harry's, enthralled. The brunet moaned softly as the heat between them rose.
Draco switched their positions, making Harry lean against the wall. He pinned Harry's hands above his head with one hand and stroked him with the other. Harry's jeans and underwear slipped down his legs. Harry's body trembled and he was flushed. Draco found that image absolutely hot and adorable. That was what made him so crazy about Harry, that mix of mischief and innocence. Unable to control himself any longer, Draco tasted the salty skin of Harry's neck and then brushed his teeth on it softly as if he was about to suck it like a vampire.
"I told you I don't want just a quick fuck," Harry muttered.
Draco cocked his head and smiled seductively. "It won't be." Draco would never allow his first time with Harry to be in a bathroom of a club. He wanted to take his time to taste all of Harry, to know Harry's pleasure points. "This is only foreplay. We'll save the best for last," he said hoarsely.
Harry smiled shyly. "When did we switch roles? I was the one who was supposed to be seducing you. You were supposed to be resisting…"
"I was and it didn't work. So now I'll do the seduction. I like being in control," Draco whispered, kissing Harry on the lips hungrily. That kiss was nothing like the first. While the first one had been sweet and deliberate, this one was desperate and full of an old repressed desire that they had kept inside for too long.
Harry trembled and bit his lower lip hard as Draco touched him more intimately. Draco nipped his earlobe, then his neck. He released Harry's hands slowly, and buried his fingers into the silken black hair, capturing Harry's lips again. Harry's shaken hands sneaked under Draco's shirt and caressed his belly softly. Draco couldn't help but moan under Harry's gentle touch.
He was also trembling when he knelt in front of Harry. Their eyes met for a brief moment. Draco licked his lips provocatively, making Harry moan. This was it. There was no turning back after this point. Draco expected Harry to freak out, but the brunet smiled at him reassuringly, daring Draco to make the next move, to cast his spell.
Harry tried his best to be quiet, but the constant movements of Draco's tongue and hands were driving him crazy. Harry buried his fingers in Draco's hair and closed his eyes in bliss as he felt Draco's fingertips tease him.
Harry was shocked at the sudden touch, but at the same time a wave of pleasure struck his body with the force of a Bludger and he moaned Draco's name.
When Draco stood up, his face was all red and his eyes were glazed. He gently kissed Harry's mouth and then rested his head on Harry's shoulders. Harry smiled, totally sated. He stroked the blond hair listening to Draco's unsteady breath. "What about you?" Harry asked. "You didn't…"
Draco mumbled something that Harry didn't understand. Harry cupped Draco's face and stared at him curiously. "I want to go somewhere else," Draco said huskily.
Harry was completely stunned with Draco's self-control. It was obvious that Draco wanted release, but Harry understood what he meant. Harry also wanted to be somewhere else. With a cute smile, he whispered in Draco's ears, "Then let's go home."
TBC…
Errata: Argh!!! My English is so bad. Ok, last chapter I was very sleepy, so instead of writing cliffhanger, I wrote hangcliffer! LOL! It's cliffhanger… /smacks head/
But never mind that. What did you think of the chapter? Was it hot enough? Well, it isn't chapter 24 yet… So review!!