Disclaimer: I do not own Wicked (the book and musical) or The Wonderful Wizard of Oz and their characters. I humbly bow and acknowledge the fact that they are the creation of Gregory Maguire, Stephen Schwartz, and L.F. Baum. However, the characters live with me in the realm of fanfiction, and in all my "Wicked" memorabilia.

This story, long-overdue, is a spin-off of the splendid Official Fanfiction University of Middle-Earth by the brilliant Camilla Sandman. After finishing this story, directly proceed to read hers.

Attention: Do NOT proceed with reading this story if you possess no sense of humor. A few spoilers are also present. Extreme exaggeration also takes place quite frequently.

AN: To "Abby," whoever you are, yes I will agree fanfiction is for fun, although our definitions of "fun" clearly differ from one another. As I already know I'm a bitch, there was no need for the reminder.

To my other reviewers and supporters out there: love, kisses, and kudos to you all! Special thanks to Emily--the guidance counselor for introducing me to FFN and OFUM, and also to Devil's Advocate who caught my one slip-up. I always appreciate friendly advice, and uh…go read Emily's (Makoto-47) fanfics.

In case anyone was wondering, yes I have both seen the show and read the book, and I literally have been through Grammar Boot Camp.

Ch. 2:What Comes of Not Knowing One's Fandom or Round One Fight: Pseduo-Fangirl Versus Obsessive Fangirl

Abby staggered to the train under the weight of her massive suitcase. After she'd been released from her punishment, she wasted no time in filling out the enrollment form. Who knew what else the crazy woman would do? Abby had come out of the situation whole but rather disheveled and scratched. She also bore a newfound dislike of crows, and an extremely "rosy" complexion. She was very upset about the latter as it ruined her perfect porcelain doll and Glinda-like complexion.

"Here, Miss, I'll take that," said a man who was collecting the baggage. Abby, gladly handed over the suitcase. The man's arm was nearly torn off as the unexpected weight of the suitcase pulled it to the ground.

The amount of people on the train was great. It took a little while for Abby to find a compartment with room. Finally finding a space to sit down, Abby settled in for the ride and looked around at her fellow companions.

"Wow, I thought I loved 'Wicked,'" said Abby silently to herself. The girl sitting across from her was bedecked in "Wicked" fan-wear. A typical black pointy hat sat atop her long, jet-black and obviously dyed hair. Her black t-shirt read "Wicked" across the front in large, bold, white letters. She sported the "Elphaba" necklace and earring set that sold for quite the penny. A keychain depicting the playbill cover hung from one of her belt loops. Even her pants had "Wicked" and various song lyrics and quotes splayed across them, though it was clear the words were written on manually with sharpie pens. If she'd gone as far as to dress this way, why wasn't her skin painted green, wondered Abby. The girl looked like she didn't want to be bothered; she was heavily engrossed in reading some book. Abby didn't like books; she preferred the song, dance, and lights of a Broadway show. If only she could get the chance to see "Wicked."

On her right was an average female Elf with blonde hair, blue eyes, and the rest of characteristics native to elves. "Elves…in 'Wicked?'" Abby was pretty sure there weren't any elves in Oz as far as she knew, but then again she had watched 'The Wizard of Oz' when she was ten and only cared about Dorothy, well, Glinda too. Maybe that guy who wrote the book Wicked, what was his name, something MacGuire, put Elves in the story. Maybe this girl was headed to one of the other fanfiction universities, and she was on the wrong train.

"Hey, this is the train for 'Wicked' fanfic writers," Abby said turning to the Elf.

"I know," replied the Elf with a toss of her long, pale blonde hair. "I'm Lauren," she said extending her hand.

"I'm Abby," said Abby shaking the offered hand. "Lauren. Shouldn't your name be like Laurel or TreeFern or Lily or some sort of nature name?"

"My parents had no imagination," Lauren answered.

"Since we're doing introductions, my name's Cathleen," said the girl sitting to the right of the extreme looking fangirl. She wore glasses and her dirty-blonde hair was plaited into a braid.

The boy on the left across from Abby was named Ethan.

"I'm Elphaba," said the girl on Abby's left.

"What did you say?" asked the fangirl in a low and dangerous tone as she looked up from her book.

"I'm Elphaba," repeated the girl.

"Oh no, wrong answer," thought Abby. She shifted away from the girl.

"Have you read the book?" asked the fangirl.

"Well…no…I started it, but then it just got too depressing.

"How far did you get?

"Through the first chapter. I know the basic plot though; I read a summary of it.

"Have you seen the show?

"My best friend did, and she told me all about it. I'm going to see it myself next weekend. I have the soundtrack though, and I absolutely love it! Elphaba is awesome! I never stop listening to my soundtrack!

"Do you know who she's played by?

"Umm…isn't the lady's name like Idina something?

"It's Idina Menzel.

"Oh yeah, that's right.

"Why did you say your name was 'Elphaba'?

"Oh, because I identify sooooo much with her; I mean I might as well be her.

"THE HELL YOU ARE!" screamed the fangirl as she lunged towards the "Elphaba." Her green contact lenses made her eyes appear quite scary as they blazed with fury. The obsessive fangirl proceeded to attempt to strangle the pseudo-fangirl who dared to say she was "Elphaba."

Although most of the other people in the compartment had seen the show, none had read the book. All feared for their lives and prayed that the crazed fan wouldn't find out that they hadn't read the book. Paralyzed with fear, they could do nothing but watch the scene take place.

"Elphaba" by now was turning rather pale due to lack of Oxygen. She was desperately trying to claw the hands of the obsessive fangirl off her throat.

Her attacker kept screaming things like "I'M ELPHABA! YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW THE ACTRESS'S NAME! GREGORY MAGUIRE IS GOD! WICKED IS THE BEST DAMN BOOK IN THE WORLD, BUT YOU WOULDN'T KNOW THAT WOULD YOU!"

When it seemed the end for "Elphaba" was inevitable, security broke in. It took a person and a Rhinoceros to yank the rabid girl off her.

"Psuedo-fangirl versus obsessive fangirl?" asked the woman who had helped to free "Elphaba," looking to Abby.

Abby, still petrified, nodded.

The obsessive fangirl was struggling to get free, and continued to hurl curses at the pseudo-fangirl. She was held firmly by the Rhinoceros.

"I think we've resolved this situation," said the Rhinoceros. "We'll put her with the other crazed fans. They can rage all they like to one another under lock and key."

"Thanks," wheezed "Elphaba" who was slowly regaining her color. The woman and Rhinoceros left, hauling with them the fangirl whose name Abby had yet to find out.

"You're going to change your name now right?" Abby asked "Elphaba."

"Of course not, I am Elphaba."

"Oh boy, this is not going to be the end of it," thought Abby.