Millions of thanks to my beta readers: Jamie, Jade and Lildove! And to everyone who sent me so many lovely reviews!

A/N: Ok, I hate to spoil but this chapter contains NC-17 scenes, which means that some parts had to be cut off… The original version can be found in my yahoo group. That said, enjoy!

Chap. 32 – KISS, CUDDLE AND MORE TROUBLE

Harry looked up at the building in front of him and sighed. Draco was only six floors away. He debated with himself for a long time about entering or going back to his house. In the end he decided to go in and face the consequences, whatever they were. He didn't need to ring the bell. A beautiful blond woman who looked rather displeased with something pulled the door opened and passed him without even noticing his presence. She seemed to be the kind of woman who cared about nothing but herself. Harry thought she looked vaguely familiar, but his attention quickly switched to more important matters. He rushed to the door before it slammed in his face and reached the elevator a few seconds later.

The fact that he had been able to get in so easily bothered him. Clearly, Draco's building wasn't secure enough for an Auror. Perhaps Draco's apartment had magical wards to compensate for the lack of security at the main entry.

On the way up, he couldn't help but think of how odd it was for Draco Malfoy to be living in a muggle building. He wondered what Draco's apartment would be like. Probably a mixture of both worlds. It would be neat, of course, and full of expensive and beautiful things. Draco had great taste. This would most likely annoy Harry; after all, his own house was a mess.

He left the elevator and walked towards Draco's flat. He was about to knock on the door when he heard a horrible noise inside. His heart leaped inside his chest. He pulled out his wand quickly and used a spell to open it. The door opened without much effort, which made Harry curse Draco for not taking better care of his safety. Then he made his way in carefully, his wand ready. What he saw in the living room made his blood run cold. Every little object lay broken on the floor. Cushions and books were flying around at high speeds and leaves and feathers poured down like rain.

He immediately shouted a freezing charm and everything stood still. He was more than a little worried about Draco now. His heart was about to bounce off the walls. He felt his mouth dry. 'Be ok, please be ok,' he repeated over and over. 'I'm just getting to know you. Don't let me lose you.' He hadn't felt this helpless in a long time.

"DRAC–" he began to shout but his voice died away when Draco appeared in front of him. Time froze as Draco's empty eyes stared at him without actually seeing him. The blond looked terribly pale as if his soul had been sucked out of him. Harry felt his heart in his mouth. In a second he closed the distance between them, but Draco drew back as if he was afraid of his touch. Harry feared for the worst. He had never seen Draco like that.

"Draco..." he called softly. "Are you hurt?" Draco didn't answer. Harry took a step forward and Draco pulled back until he had his back against the wall. Harry reached out to touch him slowly, his hand trembling. "Did someone hurt you? What happened here?" Harry was now terrified, not knowing what he was supposed to do. It was clear that Draco was in some sort of shock.

Harry's fingertips finally came in touch with Draco's cheek. Harry caressed him very carefully and tried to embrace him, but Draco reacted violently as he noticed Harry's intention. Harry dodged Draco's punch reflexively. Draco tried hard to hit Harry while Harry tried his best to constrain him. After much struggle, Harry was finally able to knock Draco down and lock his arms around him tightly to prevent another violent move. After a while Harry felt Draco's body relaxing and his enraged heartbeat coming back to normal gradually. Harry breathed heavily. He touched their foreheads together and loosened his grip around Draco's body a little bit.

And then Draco trembled in his arms, and Harry heard strangled sobs coming from the blonde's mouth. Draco buried his head in his shoulder and Harry felt his tears on his neck. There was nothing left to do but to run his fingers through Draco's silky hair in gentle strokes and whisper sweet things in his ears.

"Everything's ok," Harry whispered, kissing Draco's forehead. "I'm not going to hurt you." He couldn't help thinking about the irony of what he had just said. A couple of days ago he was telling Draco the exact opposite and now he was taking care of him. With so many thoughts crossing his mind, Harry lost track of time.

Thousands of things went through his head. He desperately wanted some answers about what had just happened. He had never thought of Draco as someone who would break down like that. Ever. He was still stunned by what he had witnessed. He had had a similar experience in the past, so he knew Draco's unstable levels of magic had caused some objects to fly around and others to break. The question was what had triggered such violent emotions. Something must have pushed Draco beyond his limits and pushed him hard, after all, Draco was always so composed.

But it wasn't the time to ask anything. Not yet. It was obvious that Draco had been through an enormous amount of stress. Draco would come around eventually, and if he felt like it, he would tell Harry about it. Harry just had to be there for him, and keep stroking his hair and cuddling him the best way he could. Harry had never wanted to protect someone so badly in his life as he wanted to protect Draco now. He wished he could kiss Draco's fears away, but all he could do was wait.

When Draco's tears finally subsided, Harry felt Draco's lips brush his neck and slide up until they met Harry's lips. Harry felt the sweetness of Draco's mouth mingled with his salty tears. Draco kissed him softly once, twice, three times until his tongue asked for entrance.

'We really are screwed up,' was Harry's last thought before losing himself in the sweet madness. Their tongues met in a sensual dance.

Harry knew Draco was looking for comfort, and he was more than willing to give in. Harry was surprised at how badly he wanted to soothe Draco's worries and love him.

Draco's skilful fingers unbuttoned Harry's shirt leisurely. Their kiss deepened. Every kiss was like an electric shock burning his every inch. Harry moaned a protest when Draco's lips left his, but he soon forgot about it to concentrate on the wonderful sensations that were assaulting him as Draco kissed down his chest.

That picture seemed wrong somehow. Harry was supposed to be pleasuring Draco, not the other way around. But far from complaining, Harry just let Draco run the show. He watched in a daze as Draco undressed himself, exposing his beautiful alabaster skin.

Their eyes met for a brief moment and Harry wondered what was about to come next. Harry was engulfed by many different emotions as Draco rode on him. He was shocked but also thrilled, embarrassed but extremely excited. He never thought two men could do it in that position.

Draco's soft moans drove him mad. Harry felt the pleasure building up inside him, demanding for a release that came in hot waves.

They shared one last deep kiss before Draco pulled out of him and fell asleep in his arms.

"Draco?" Harry shook Draco gently, but Draco seemed to be sound asleep.

Harry took the time to wait for his heart to calm down and the world to come in focus again. The whole thing had been surreal. If anyone asked him about that day, he wouldn't know where to begin to describe it. Not that he would ever have the courage to tell someone about it, not even Ron. It was rather personal for him to share. Besides, he had the feeling that Draco wouldn't be so happy about it when he came around. If there was something Harry knew very well, it was how proud Draco was of his self-control.

Harry didn't even ask Draco the things he wanted to before he arrived. He still wanted to know about that hospital photo. He still wanted to know from Draco's own mouth exactly what he felt for Harry and why. Harry sighed tiredly. He knew that this peaceful moment would end when Draco woke up, but just for a little while he wanted to enjoy that closeness. Slowly, he disentangled himself from Draco's firm grip on him and stood up. After stretching, he took Draco in his arms with a little difficulty, cursing himself for not being more muscular. Then he laid Draco down on the bed and wrapped his arms around him protectively. Pretty soon Harry was sound asleep.

-

Draco had never felt his head so heavy. The curtains were pulled down, but even so the poor light coming from the window hurt his eyes and he blinked a few times in order to get used to it. When he was finally able to put his feet on the floor, he had to rush to the bathroom as a wave of nausea came upon him.

He hadn't felt that bad in a long time. The symptoms were close to a very bad hangover, but he didn't remember drinking anything. He rubbed his stomach and slowly came back to his room. On top of the headache and nausea, he was also feeling a little dizzy. 'What a lovely way to start the day,' he thought bitterly.

He reached out for his wand on the bedside table and then pointed at his head. The relief was immediate. His stomach was still turning, but at least he wasn't feeling like his head would fall off at any minute. With the pain in his head gone, he meditated on what had happened the previous day. He remembered spending a calm and depressive morning in bed, then having some brunch around noon and then… Then his mother had invaded his personal space and had brought back everything he had tried so hard to suppress from his life.

He couldn't remember what he did after she left and that concerned him quite a bit. He closed his eyes and focused on remembering. The image of Harry came to his mind. It was then that he noticed something very unusual about him. He was fully naked. In spite of what everyone else thought about him, Draco didn't like to sleep naked unless he had someone to share his bed with. The image of Harry crossed his thoughts again. Everything was fuzzy in his head. If Harry had spent the night with him, he would most certainly remember. That was the kind of thing one wouldn't forget.

He shook his head and dismissed the idea immediately. Harry didn't even know his address. With that in mind, Draco walked out of the bedroom towards the kitchen to have a glass of water. He wondered if he should make himself a memory potion when a male voice he knew pretty well said, "Oh, you're finally awake. How do you feel?"

He turned his head towards the voice and found Harry Potter comfortably sitting on his couch drinking coffee. Draco wondered if he was seeing things, but when he realised he wasn't, he let out a yelp and picked up a cushion from his armchair to cover up his private parts.

Harry chuckled, "I think it's a bit late for that, don't you think? We've slept together more than once. I already know your body and it's quite a vision if I may say so."

There was something very erotic about Harry Potter saying those things. Even so, Draco blushed violently. "So? I don't like people staring at me when I'm naked. It makes me feel…"

"Vulnerable?" Harry suggested without malice.

"No! Not vulnerable!" Vulnerable was for weak people and he was anything but weak. But vulnerable was the right word in that case. Draco made a face. "Potter, what in heaven's name…?"

"I really don't know anything about you. I never thought you would look shy just by being naked in front of me. That's something that I would do. You, on the other hand, always seemed very confident of your body," Harry said with a sweet smile. "It's rather cute." Draco shrugged but his heart was pounding like crazy. "I was right, you know? On my way here I wondered what kind of place you'd have and I wasn't disappointed. You do have a nice apartment. It looks a lot better now that I cast Reparo on everything. But honestly, Malfoy…" Harry pointed to a magazine on the small table next to him and smiled. "Witch Weekly?"

"It's Hermione's…" Draco mumbled slightly irritated. "And don't change the subject, Potter. What are you doing here?"

Harry placed the empty cup on the small table and leaned back on the couch. Then he stared at Draco, who reddened even more under Harry's intense gaze. Harry's look was making him uncomfortable and Draco could feel a certain part of his body moving on its own. Deeply embarrassed, Draco excused himself and left the room in a hurry, coming back a few minutes later fully dressed and composed. Harry watched the scene with amusement and he couldn't help but smile as Draco sat on the armchair with a sulking expression.

"So, now that the show is over, would you mind explaining to me how you got in?" Draco asked.

"Do you remember anything about yesterday?"

Draco frowned. "I remember a few things… Wait a minute. You said you cast Reparo on my stuff. Why?"

"Because when I got here your living room was turned upside down. There were broken things all over the floor and books flying around and bouncing off the walls." Draco went pale and Harry went on, "And then I saw you. You scared the shit out of me. My guess is that you were under so much stress that your magical powers went out of control and then drained you out. You wanted to beat me up, although that shouldn't exactly be a surprise, right?" Harry tried to joke, but he became serious when he noticed how nervous Draco was.

"What else did I do?" Draco asked in a whisper as if he was afraid of the answer.

"You... cried in my arms and then kissed me and…"

Draco looked positively stunned. "And?" Draco asked anxiously.

"We... huh..." Harry cleared his throat and flushed slightly. "We did it. You know... sex..." Draco hid his face in his hands. "It was quite a… remarkable experience. You were so..." Wild and sexy, Harry wanted to say but he decided that it was better to be quiet.

"Brilliant. Just bloody brilliant! Fuck!" Draco exclaimed, frustrated. He had sex with Harry and he didn't remember a thing. Not just that. He had probably made quite a spectacle for Harry. He had behaved like a mad man. He looked sideways bashfully. He wanted to sink in the couch and disappear. He took a deep breath to calm down and then said in a low voice, "I'm sorry."

Harry arched an eyebrow. That was the last thing he expected to hear. "Why?"

"What do you mean? I attacked you, didn't I? You said it yourself. I tried to beat you up. I had a stupid nervous breakdown in front of you and I can't even remember having sex with you! Shouldn't I apologise for being so screwed up?"

Harry gave him a half-smile. "Not really. I mean, you saw me in my worst moments too. I guess we're even."

"Your worst moments don't even compare to mine, Potter."

"Damn, Malfoy! Stop turning everything into a bloody competition! I'm not mad at you. I was worried. I had never seen you like that." Harry stood up and began to pace nervously. "I came here to apologise myself and ask you a few questions about that article." Harry stopped in front of Draco. "But when I saw everything trashed I thought… that someone had broken in and hurt you. Anyone can enter this place! You're an Auror and you didn't even care to set wards around your apartment! I walked in with a simple unlocking spell."

"Oh, look who is talking... The door wasn't locked, Potter, that was why it opened so easily," Draco defended himself. "I did set up wards around my apartment. Did you use a spell to unlock the front door of the building as well?"

"No, I didn't have to. There was this woman coming out and I just took the opportunity to…" Harry closed his mouth instantly as if a sudden light had hit him. "The woman! I knew she looked familiar. It was her! It was your mother, wasn't it?"

Draco panicked so much at the mention of his mother that he leapt from his armchair instantly and grabbed Harry's arms. "Did she see you? Did she talk to you?" He was terrified at the thought of Narcissa talking to Harry and telling him how filthy Draco really was.

"No, she didn't even notice me. She seemed too caught up in her own world to pay attention to anything else."

Draco breathed in relief.

"What did she say to make you lose control like that?" Harry asked.

Draco bit his lower lip hard as Narcissa's spiteful words haunted him again. "Family matters can be very unpleasant sometimes," he said without looking at Harry.

"Obviously," Harry sneered. "But it wasn't just unpleasant. She hurt you a lot. What did she do?" Harry pressed on. Since Draco was still refusing to look him in the eye, Harry caught Draco's chin between his thumb and his forefinger and raised it up until their eyes were at the same level.

"It's private, Potter," Draco said crossly. "It doesn't concern you." Draco didn't mean to sound so defensive, but the fear of Harry finding out about his past was getting the best of him. "I already apologised for the way I behaved yesterday. Let's leave it at that."

"No! Why do you lock yourself up to me? Why don't you ever let me know what you feel? What happened to you that was so horrible you can't share it with anyone?"

Harry's question caught Draco by surprise, but the blond didn't let it show. Instead of wavering, he retorted, "What are we to each other exactly, Potter? We don't even know! I don't know how you feel either! You make me confused. One minute you treat me like an enemy, and the next you treat me like your lover. I don't have to say anything to you."

"That's just brilliant, Malfoy," Harry said with suppressed rage. "You should know! After all you were the one who kissed me when I was in St. Mungo's! What did that kiss mean, Malfoy? Hermione, the queen of rationality, thinks it was just a romantic gesture. I don't buy that shit. What were you doing in the hospital that day, Malfoy? Why did you even care about me if you don't know how you feel?"

"Because…"

"Because?"

"I don't know!"

"If you don't know, then who the hell does?"

"How the fuck should I know? Stop pressuring me! And why are you yelling?"

"I'm not yelling! You were the one who started it. I was the one who helped you out yesterday. The least you could was thank me, not shout at me!"

They exchanged a dark look and then Draco sighed tiredly. "You're right. I'm not myself lately... Sit down, Potter. Let me have some coffee first and then we can talk properly."

Harry wasn't satisfied by that arrangement but he sat down and waited. When Draco returned, Harry crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow questioningly. "So?"

Draco took a sip from his coffee and then said, "This isn't going to be easy."

"Nothing ever is," Harry replied with a sneer.

"But this…"

"Just cut the crap already and go straight to the point!"

"All right, all right! I just have the feeling that you'll get really mad at me, and I'm really sick of people being disappointed with me so…"

Harry sighed. "I'm already mad. But if it makes you feel better, I promise I won't be mad at you… much more."

Draco made a face. "Well, thanks."

"What do you expect? You're hiding something from me, something that's about me! What is it?"

Draco took a deep breath and then said, "When you were in St Mungo's there were tons of rumours flying around. One of them was that Lord Voldemort had cast a curse on you just before he died. A curse set up to make you live in an endless nightmare." Harry held his breath at that but he let Draco continue, "A month passed and you wouldn't react to anything. Everyone was desperate. Nobody knew what to do. The Order didn't know anything about those rumours, except for Dumbledore and a few others. We couldn't let it leak out. It would be dangerous not only for us but mostly for you."

"Why would it have been dangerous for me?" Harry asked.

"Are you stupid, Potter? Fudge was always suspecting you. If we had said something, Fudge would have tried to relocate you to a place in St Mungo's reserved for dangerous criminals until it was proven that you didn't mean any harm to our society."

"That's bullshit! I was out. I couldn't do anything even if I wanted to."

"Well, yes. But Fudge wouldn't care, Potter. You do realise the kind of panic those rumours would initiate."

Yes, Harry knew precisely what people would think. It was the same thing that he had been thinking for a while now. That Voldemort was possessing him. He gulped and then told Draco to carry on.

"We decided to take the matter into our hands," Draco said in a low, serious voice. "Snape helped us out. He made a healing potion, but we didn't know if it would work. The other problem was to find a way to make you drink it. It was Dumbledore who suggested the kiss. I could give it to you through the kiss and if someone walked in on me it wouldn't look so suspicious."

'Dumbledore, you old bastard!' Harry thought with a frown. He sneered. "Did you really think that anyone who walked in on you kissing me would find the situation perfectly normal?"

"Well, nobody walked in, Potter, so there wasn't a problem."

"Somebody took a picture of us! How can you say nobody saw us? And did you even think about me? I could have choked!"

Draco rolled his eyes. "You didn't. In fact, you kissed me back."

"WHAT? I wasn't even aware of the situation! I was living an endless nightmare, don't you remember? You were probably part of it!"

Those words hurt Draco, but he didn't let it show. "Relax, Potter. You didn't choke. And at least the potion worked."

"Did it?"

They exchanged a long stare.

"What do you mean, Potter?" Draco asked carefully. "I mean, you woke up that same day."

Harry gave a hollow laugh and then said, "I guess now it's my turn to tell you something very personal about me, Malfoy."

"What?" Draco asked, afraid of the answer.

"I... have nightmares. I keep reliving all of my worst moments over and over. My mother dying... Sirius falling behind the veil... Stupid childhood memories living with the Dursleys... Remus..." Harry felt his hands shaking and he clenched his fists. "And the funny thing is… Voldemort is starting to talk to me."

Time stood still. The room was filled with palpable tension.

"No," Draco finally said. "No. These nightmares probably have nothing to do with that. I mean, since when have you had them? Not since you left St Mungo's, right? It's not possible. You wouldn't take four years living like this." But then everything began to make sense to Draco. The way Harry behaved, the way he liked to be alone. The way Harry had shut himself out from the rest of the world in that gloomy old house. "Harry..."

"It's started recently. And maybe you're right. Maybe they have nothing do to with Voldemort's curse. It might be just me. But even so..."

"You want to make sure," Draco finished for him, taking Harry by surprise.

"Yeah," Harry muttered. "It's not fair."

"Of course it isn't," Draco quickly agreed.

"No. I'm not talking about my nightmares. I'm talking about you. Here I am, sharing something that I haven't even told Ron and Hermione, and you still hide so many things from me. It isn't bloody fair!" Harry let it out wearily.

Draco looked away. "You would hate me if I told you."

Harry shook his head and his lips curled in a bitter smile. "I hate you for so many things... Do you really think that throwing one more thing into the mixture would make any difference?"

Draco smiled sadly. "I think it would."

They stayed quiet for a long time. Harry was the one to break the silence first when he said, "You should have told me about the rumours. You should have told me about the kiss and the potion."

"I know. It's just... Dumbledore died so suddenly. It was only Snape and me. You hated both of us. Would you have believed us if we have told you about it back then?"

Harry bit his lower lip. "I don't know. I guess not." Another moment of silence, and then Harry asked, "What do we do now?"

"We'll go after Snape," Draco said decisively.

Harry frowned. "Do you still keep in touch with him?"

"From time to time. After all, he's my godfather."

Harry almost felt off the couch. "HE'S WHAT?"

Draco smiled. "There's no need to shout. Why are you so surprised?"

Harry grimaced. "I should have known. The way he treated you was too good, even for a Slytherin. He favoured you a lot."

"No, he didn't," Draco said, annoyed by the fact that it was true, and even more annoyed with the fact that he liked to be spoiled by Snape.

"Oh, yes, he did."

Draco shrugged.

Harry concealed a smile. "Where does the old bastard live now? I heard he left Hogwarts a long time ago."

"Yes. It was quite sudden. McGonagall couldn't convince him otherwise. Even I don't know why he left like that. I guess he was just tired. Besides, his main reason for staying in Hogwarts was to keep an eye on you."

Harry rolled his eyes. "Oh, please. He just didn't have anywhere else to go. So where is he now?"

"Scotland. He lives very reclusively."

"Will he help us?"

"Of course he will, Potter. He isn't a heartless bastard."

"He could've fooled me," Harry grunted.

While Harry lost himself in thoughts of Snape and Hogwarts, Draco found refuge in his own memories. He wasn't so sure Severus would be happy to see them. It had been a while since his last letter. Draco knew Severus cared for him, but in his own way. Severus wasn't an affectionate person. He was cold and bitter. But Draco knew the kind of life Snape had had so he understood without any judgement.

Draco came back to the present and gazed at Harry with loving eyes. In spite of their yelling, Draco was thankful for Harry's presence. He was glad that Harry had held him when Draco needed him most and hadn't made fun of his weakness.

"Thanks," Draco said quietly, making Harry puzzled. "You said I should thank you for helping me yesterday."

"It was nothing." Draco raised an eyebrow and Harry smiled. "Well, it was and now you owe me. Too bad you don't remember anything... Taking away the part where you tried to kill me, the sex was really good."

"Haha," Draco forced a laugh while he called himself stupid for not remembering having sex with Harry. 'Damn.'

"And I liked the part where you needed me and I could be of some help to you."

Draco's heart melted. Harry was being sweet to him. A part of him was rejoicing about it, but the other part was sad. He didn't want Harry saying lovely things to him. It would be harder to let him go once it was over. The thing was, Draco didn't want it to be over.

"Potter?"

"Huh?"

"About what happened in the coffee shop..." 'Why did you kiss me?' Draco wanted to ask, but he didn't have the courage to do so.

"Oh, right. Sorry about that kiss. And about that stupid article... Colin said he had nothing to do with it. Hagen published two pictures of his without his permission. He doesn't know who took the hospital photo though."

"I wonder who did it... Do you believe anything Hagen wrote about me?"

"No. Well, except for the part where you were a brat in Hogwarts. Everything else was fiction. I don't think you're an Auror just for show," Harry stated. Draco's smile took his breath away. 'Do you love me?' was what Harry wanted to ask him, but he chickened out. Instead, he asked, "So, when do we leave?"

"I don't know. I need to get in touch with Snape first. Then I need to ask for a few days off... That will be quite tricky."

"All right then." Harry stood up and stared at his feet. "Hmm... Are you coming back to my place?"

Draco licked his lips and hid a smile. "Do you want me to?"

Harry raised his head and said as if he didn't care, "Only if you want to. Do you?"

Their eyes met and Draco knew that he wouldn't be able to deny anything to those lovely green eyes. So he answered yes. What was a bloke to do?

TBC…

A/N: The plot thickens. Will Harry and Draco meet Snape? And how is the old sexy bastard anyway? More grumpy than ever? More sexy? Perhaps with someone to make him company… But why Snape doesn't make his stunning appearance, will Draco and Harry shag again? Find out next chapter! XD