AN: Ummm…ok I finally did this. I don't know if it will meet all your expectations as far as humor, but I had to bring that last section to a close somehow. I'm sorry if this chapter seems sort of rushed. I have massive loads of homework like you would not believe and then rehearsals for a play that will be performed soon. It's difficult to find to time to write. Thanks to all for the positive feedback. I posted the first part of Ch7 as a teaser for my loyal readers to show that I have not abandoned this project. OWFU will prevail! I took a scene Animeluvr1 (Professor Spork) had written for me and personalized it. Much love to her. Also, the crossover I mention in the last part of the story was, believe it or not, a real one I found.

Ch 6: A Day of Chaos, Crossovers, and Cameos: Part Two

It was just a regular day at OWFU with fangirls plotting at how to seduce their lust objects, Mini Time Dragons flying about keeping a close watch on the fangirls, and Miss Lan determined to hunt down and throw into the deepest, darkest depths OWFU several fanfiction writers who had taken it upon themselves to write various bad crossovers or non-existant "other" characters which thus resulted in the appearance of several uncanonical individuals at OWFU.

Following the music, Miss Lan, Josh Groban, Elphaba, Boq, Emily, the Knights of the Round Table, and the various students--who had followed the headmistress and company--headed to the basement. Across the room lay an impressive pipe organ. Furiously playing it was a man dressed in a black Parisian suit with a matching, elegant opera cape draped across his shoulders. A white mask hid half his face. Two tall candelabras stood on each side of the pipe organ.

There were a multitude of gasps and sighs uttered by the students present. They had finally learned though that chances of executing a successful stampede not followed by severe injuries were almost none. Of course there were also the few die-hard Fiyero fangirls, like Abby, who couldn't understand why so many of their peers were mooning over this strange being. He was wearing a mask and playing a pipe organ by candlelight in a basement for pity's sake. The man obviously had no life.

"The PHANTOM of OZ is there inside your mind!" sang the man as he continued his playing, not noticing the crowd that had gathered. "Those who have seen your face," he sang in a higher, more feminine voice, obviously trying to substitute for a former female partner. He stopped abruptly. "Damn! It just doesn't work that way!" he muttered.

Gathering her thoughts, Miss Lan approached the spectre. "So what's your story?" she asked.

Irate that there was suddenly another presence in the room besides him, the phantom whirled around and bellowed, "Who DARES disturb the mysterious, and all powerful PHANTOM OF OZ!"

He was surprised to see a rather large crowd facing him. Even more surprising was that they were all wearing a rather odd assortment of clothing. Perhaps they were the cast of some play or just maybe an opera, and this area that he was in the long forgotten underground room of their theatre. Hmm…possibly he could find a new protégé among them.

The child within the group stepped forward. "Well, are you going to answer my question? I'd prefer if you'd do so within this lifetime please," she said saucily. The phantom was rather taken aback.

"My dear child," he began.

"Hold it right there," said Miss Lan, cutting him off. "The most important thing you need know about me in order for us to get along is that I am NOT a child. Now, you may continue."

"It all began when I was born…" began the phantom.

"I don't mean your life story!" snapped Miss Lan. "How did you end up here? In Oz, in my university basement of all places."

"Oh," he replied flatly. He had been looking forward to an opportunity to relay all the woes of his life. "I was fleeing from an angry mob trying to kill me…"

"You know, that situation is more common than you think," commented Elphaba.

The story turned out to be unnecessarily long due to the vast amount of detail the phantom included. To sum it all up, the rest of the story went as follows: the phantom fleeing from the angry mob pulled his infamous cloak disappearing act; he made his way through the series of underground tunnels connected to his lair; he took a wrong turn somewhere and ended up in the basement of OWFU instead of outside Paris.

"But I don't see any tunnel in here," remarked Emily.

The phantom pointed to a door which everyone had taken to be the door to a janitor's closet. Emily went to the door and much to her and everyone else's (the phantom being the only exception) bewilderment, behind it stood a tunnel.

"The thought never occurred to me that there was an underground tunnel in Shiz that led out of Oz," said Boq.

"Obviously, since it didn't exist until about five minutes ago," replied Elphaba in a dry tone.

Miss Lan slightly puzzled turned to one of the knights and asked, "So how did you all get into Oz?"

The knight answered, "Are you not familiar with the geography of Oz? The land next to it is Camelot."

"Uh huh…," said Miss Lan as she processed this new information. Her attention eventually snapped back to the current "guest" at hand. "Two final questions for Monsieur Phantom here: how did the pipe organ and candelabras end up here, and how did you know you were in Oz?"

"Well, as soon as I entered, I decided this would be my new lair. Of course according to the laws of canon, my lair must be equipped with a pipe organ and lit by candles, so I simply envisioned where those items would be, and they materialized where I desired them to be. I believe that also relates to what you call 'the magic of fanfiction.'"

Miss Lan looked thoughtful for a moment. "I guess that makes sense in way. This is the realm of fanfiction after all," she thought. She shrugged her shoulders and decided that it was better not to try to further apply logic to the situation.

While Miss Lan was attempting to sort things out, the fangirls were whispering amongst themselves.

"I really don't get what they're all drooling over; I mean look at the guy. He's so pasty, and who really goes around dressed like that?" whispered Abby to the girl next to her.

"We all know that what's behind that mask isn't pretty," whispered back Hannah. "but on the subject of Fiyero, have you checked out those tattoos? They make him look sooooo hot! He puts any guy to shame!"

"Excuse me, did I hear you both correctly?" interjected a girl named Megan.

"Uh, duh! Fiyero is the hottest guy like ever! He's like H-O-T-T, HOTT!" enthusiastically replied Abby.

"I wouldn't say that. Cute maybe, but nothing compared with Erik." Megan sighed as she mentioned the name of her lust object. From the large purse hanging by her side, she retrieved a doll resembling the phantom and clutched tightly against her chest.

"OK, this girl's got some issues," thought Abby. "Who the hell's Erik?" she asked aloud.

"That's the phantom over there," answered Hannah.

"Oh right," said Abby, who had never really been a fan of "Phantom of the Opera." Actually, she'd never really been that big a fan of Broadway until she was introduced to "Wicked."

"There are some obviously uncultured people present here," commented the phantom fangirl.

"I agree," added PhantomAngel22. "As much as I adore Fiyero, I have to side with this girl here that Erik is the most handsome man on Broadway."

"Whatever," said Abby. The beginnings of a row were starting to form as the fangirls began to separate into two groups. There were some who were torn between the two, but in the end they had to give in to the one side or the other. There was no turning back once a fangirl's side was chosen. The few males in the present student body, not wishing to be caught in the war that was brewing, anxiously backed away from the two bands of fangirls. The Fiyero lusters and the Erik the former Phantom of the Opera, now the Phantom of Oz , lusters stood glowering at one another.

"We're not going to solve anything by staying down here, so let's all go back upstairs," said Miss Lan, breaking the rival fangirls' concentration on one another.

"Are you assuming that we'll be able to find a solution there?" inquired Emily.

"At least we'll be out of the dark," replied Miss Lan as she made her way to the steps.

Emily shrugged and followed. Elphaba was behind her, and after Elphaba the Phantom came, then the Phantom fangirls, the Knights, the Fiyero fangirls, the rest of the students, and a very befuddled Josh Groban with a few fangirls who chose Josh as the object of their lust instead of Fiyero or the Phantom.

Poor Josh had been expecting to execute another routine performance and then leave with a rather nice commission as usual. He should've realized that this was going to be an unusual experience when on the way to his destination his tour bus was picked up by a tornado and then dropped off in this strange place where there were green skinned women, miniature dragons, and medieval knights.

Miss Lan mulled over what to do with the current "guests" at OWFU. Finally she decided that the best ideas came while eating, so she said, "Let's go to dinner." The meal was a pleasant one for Miss Lan and the staff of OWFU as there were no stampedes (the groups fangirls were too busy insulting one another to attempt any), the guests were all rather polite (even the Elphaba's purple-skinned "first" although Elphaba had to threaten him with severe bodily harm beforehand), and the fried ham slices, that were part of the meal, were delicious.

---

Once dinner ended, Miss Lan came to a decision as to what was to be done.

"Ok, Josh, let me tell you first off that I am a huge fan and do wish you could stay. I'm sorry you came all the way out here for nothing. Anyways, since Dorothy is unwilling to yield up the ruby and silver slippers—not that you could fit them anyway and they only work if you're wearing them on you're feet—we're going to have to send you back by tornado. Dorothy is however willing to lend you her farmhouse if you did not arrive in a vehicle or building of your own."

"Umm…I came in a tour bus. It's sitting outside on the lawn. Oh man, I was just going to come in to ask for directions. My violinist, guitarist, and driver are probably waiting for me still. I hope they didn't go look for me," said Josh.

"Madame Morrible will follow you, and if your companions are all there, she will send you all back to where you came from. If they're not there, she'll organize a search party and get them rounded up," said Miss Lan, motioning towards Madame Morrible. Miss Lan let out a small sigh of disappointment as she watched Josh Groban leave the dining hall. She did love his singing.

"Andrea Bocelli is so much better," said Emily, reading Miss Lan's thoughts.

"Let's not get into this," replied Miss Lan. "I prefer Josh Groban's singing, and you prefer Andrea Bocelli's. Back to the subject; what do we do with the rest of these people?"

"We are in need of a pianist to help with the choir course as I unfortunately lack the ability to play piano," said Professor WittyFae.

"Would I still be able to compose my own pieces? And if I found a pupil worthy of my training, might I be allowed to take her under my guidance?" inquired the Phantom.

"As convenient as it would be to have you assist in teaching our students the art of music, we'd be in severe violation of not only the laws of canon but of those set by Official Fanfiction University creator Miss Cam. In other words all of us would be struck by lightning, and if by some miracle we managed survive, none of us would be able to safely write fanfiction again," replied Miss Lan.

"It was worth a shot," said Professor WittyFae. "I understand though that sacrifices must be made to further the cause of improving the realm of 'Wicked' fanfiction."

"Surely, you don't expect me to return to Paris," said the Phantom. "An angry mob is looking to lynch me there."

"No, can't expect that," said Miss Lan. "But that's at the Opera Populaire though. Couldn't you just move to haunt a different opera house? There should be more than one in Paris."

"Word will have gotten around though. At any sign of my return shall result in me being found and hanged."

"Why don't you head over to London? It's not too far, and you could surely get cast in the London Broadway Production of your life story. Plus it's canonical as you'd be playing 'the Phantom of the Opera' which you are and doing all the things you do on a regular basis," said Professor Spork.

"Look up a guy named Andrew Lloyd Webber—he ought to be living in England (as he's from there) and can definitely help you market your stuff," added Lady Bianca.

"How shall I travel to this place? It's not as if there's a tunnel leading to the coast of France and a boat waiting to take me to England."

"Once again the 'magic of fanfiction' comes into play," said Emily.

"That's right! You've seen the show Emz; you can write him there," said Miss Lan.

"Actually, I meant that Elphaba could find a transportation spell to send him there. I don't do 'Phantom' fanfiction."

"That works too."

After Emily discussed the idea with Elphaba, Elphaba and the Phantom left the dining hall. Elphaba rolled her eyes when her "first" made a number of loud protests as she did so. The Phantom smirked as he passed the purple-skinned man. Fiyero kept a firm grip on the "first," preventing him from following Elphaba.

After the two left, the knights rose from their seats, bowing graciously. "We thank you for entertaining us here and for the food. We shall be taking our leave now," said Sir Launcelot.

"Oh, yeah, you guys are practically right next door," said Professor Spork.

"That is correct. We apologize for any trouble or inconvenience we may have caused," Launcelot responded.

"You're welcome. Thank you for not attacking my collegue, the Witch of the West. Your apology is accepted," responded Miss Lan.

The knights all bowed and exited.

"Professor Spork, if you don't mind, please follow them and take this eraser with you. You'll need it to erase Camelot's borderline that has crossed Oz's," said Miss Lan handing Professor Spork a large eraser.

"Just one left now," Miss Lan said with relief. "What do we do with him?"

"We could just kill him off," suggested Fiyero enthusiastically.

"But he's not a Gary-Stu though, so it seems kind of harsh to do that. He's an 'other/original character'," replied Miss Lan.

"He's not from any other realm of fanfiction either, so there's no where we could send him," said Lady Bianca. "He's not canonical either, therefore he can't remain here."

"There has to be somewhere he can stay," said Emily.

"Bwha! I got it!" said Miss Lan, clapping her hands together. "He has to come from 'Somewhere'."

"What?" asked everyone in unison. They all gave Miss Lan an odd look.

"Fiyero, just shove him somewhere, and he'll be gone. Things normally don't make sense when you're dealing with original characters. Just drag him to and put him in the nearest closet. Then shut the door and when you open it, he'll have disappeared from this realm of fanfiction."

Although still puzzled, the Arjiki prince acted as he was requested and found the results predicted by Miss Lan had occurred. Finally, everything was as it should be. The fangirls still fought amongst themselves about whom among the visitors was the most attractive; the Phantom lovers were still willing to defend to the death their lust object as being the hottest. The only brightly colored person was Elphaba. There were no modern day singers present, and no strange persons lurking in the basement playing a pipe organ or dressed in armor hunting for witches.

---

The day was finally at an end. Everyone, including Miss Lan, had just settled comfortably into bed when the sound of cheering and music invaded the silence. Uttering a rather long string of foul words, Miss Lan grumpily came down the stairs. She had not been the only one awoken by the noise. In the front hall stood several of the canon characters, non-canon staff members, and as always, a large body of students looking out the windows.

"What the freakin' hell is goin' on!" she exclaimed, forsaking any eloquent speech.

"It appears to be another crossover," replied Professor Spork.

"No, not another! And right after we finally got rid of all the others!" thought Miss Lan. "What on earth are they singing?" she asked.

"Can't you tell? It's 'No One Mourns the Wicked,'" said Lady Bianca.

"Performed rather badly I might add," said Professor WittyFae. "These people also don't appear to be Ozians. I wonder where they're from."

Just then a strange-looking, red-haired, teenage girl appeared in a bubble. A person shouted out her name as being "Starfire." The girl knew Glinda's exact entrance speech from the musical though she addressed those participating in the festivities as "fellow Jump Cityians." Following the speech, she attempted to imitate Glinda's aria though without much success.

"Who does that stupid, little, prima donna, teeny bopper think she is? Really, to think she can steal my lines and my aria! I'm outraged! I have a headache; I have to go lie down! I'm going to have several words with the producers as soon as I finish doing so!" said an upset Glinda. She quickly exited to her room.

Miss Lan felt a similar sensation and was half tempted to follow Glinda's suit. Remembering her duty as headmistress though, she went to open the door, and prepared herself for several hours of grueling interviews, arguments, thinking of and finally executing a plan to restore the natural laws of canon in the realm of "Wicked" fanfiction.

The night's weather had been particularly calm, but when Miss Lan opened the door a bolt of lighting struck the Teen Titan that was a Glinda wannabe. The girl disappeared in a poof of smoke. Thunder crashed while more lightning bolts struck every single one of the foreigners, and like Starfire, they all disappeared in a poof of smoke. Everyone awake in the front hall of OWFU watched transfixed.

Miss Lan smiled as she closed the door and headed back to bed. There were some fandoms you just did not cross. This time Miss Lan and the staff of OWFU were not needed to reinstate the canon by getting rid of an invading fandom which was caused by poor and careless author. The Unnamed Deity of "Wicked" fanfiction had taken care of that personally.

Disclaimer:

Wicked belongs to Gregory Maguire and Stephen Schwartz.

OWFU is a spin-off of OFUM by Miss Cam.

"Phantom of the Opera" belongs to Andrew Lloyd Webber and whatever guy wrote the book.

"Monty Python and the Holy Grail" belongs to the Pythons, and the witch scene just happens to be my favorite.

Josh Groban belongs to himself.

King Arthur and company belong to Sir Thomas Malory