Summary: He was sick of it, sick of being Shannon's puppet. Yet he didn't want Sayid to have her either. She was his burden, and he couldn't stand the thought of her being with anyone else.
A/N: Wow, two updates in one day. Anyway, this chapter is happening at the same time as the last one.. And I love writing pregnant Claire... She's too cute.
Disclaimer: If I owned Lost, Boone wouldn't have died, Sayid would never have spoken to Shannon, Sawyer would still be the sarcastic asshole who punched everyone, and Evangeline would only be shown every 2 to 3 episodes. Clearly, it's not mine.
Chapter 4: Him
I'm looking past the shadows
Of my mind into the truth and
I'm trying to identify
The voices in my head
God, which one's you
Take a breath and hold on tight
Spin around one more time
And gracefully fall back in the arms of grace
"Breathing" – Lifehouse.
"Hey," Claire said, slowly sliding her frame onto the sand next to Shannon. "Mind if I join you?"
"It'd be too bad if I did," Shannon smirked, "Coz it'd take you another age to get back up again."
"Oh, ha ha," Claire said sarcastically, a hand absently massaging her swollen belly. She gave the other woman a half smile, "Wow, Shannon in a good mood? That's definately a first."
"Yeah," Shannon grinned, hugging her legs to her chest, "It's strange. Boone just pushed me away, I spent the whole day fighting with him and lying to Sayid, but for some reason I feel the happiest I've ever felt on this island."
"Just one of those stages I guess, of, you know, crashing on an island," said Claire flippantly, then peered at Shannon, "Or, actually... You're acting more like a girl who's..." Claire broke off, grinning, while Shannon's smile dropped.
"Who's what, Claire?" She asked, sort of bitchily.
"Hey, it's okay," Claire said reassuringly, giving her a knowing smile.
Shannon's eyebrows furrowed, now curious, "Who's... what?"
Claire gave Shannon a sympathetic smirk, "Who's... in love."
"Excuse me? What?"
"You heard," Claire grinned. Shannon shook her head defiantly, and Claire gave her a patronising look. "Come on, Shannon. Everyone on the island can see it. You're in love... with Sayid."
At the mention of his name, Shannon flipped her head back to face Claire, "Seriously, what? Where do you get your news from?"
"Hey, it's okay, you can tell me."
"No, I really... I really can't." They sat in silence for a few minutes. "Maybe...maybe you're half right. It might not be love, and it mightnotbe with Sayid, but I do feel...something...for--someone. And dont ask me who, I'm not telling. You wouldn't approve, anyway," she wrinkled her nose.
"Oh. Shannon," Claire put her hand on the other girl's arm. "It doesn't matter to me who they are. Just out of curiousity--male, right?"
"Yeah," Shannon sighed.
"Ooh, a sigh," Claire swooned teasingly, and Shannon actually laughed. "But like I was saying--it doesn't matter who he is, or whether anyone here approves. Just that he makes you happy...Does he?"
Shannon hesitated, "Sometimes."
"Oh," said Claire, as if she'd just thought of something, "Is it Boone?"
Shannon paled and her eyes widened, "W-what?"
"Is that why you wont say who he is? You don't want Boone to beat him up?"
Shannon blushed, and let her eyes sweep the ocean, "Well...it does have something to do with Boone."
Claire gave her a small smile, and rubbed Shannon's arm reassuringly.
Shannon turned to look at the other girl, "Me and you, we haven't talked much, since...since..."
"...we became friends again?" Claire smiled, a few days earlier she had vaguely remembered talking to Shannon before she'd been taken so had gone to her, rather than Charlie, to talk about their friendship.
"Yeah. And you know that you were the only one on the island to be nice to me, really..." Claire blushed a little, with sympathy perhaps, and Shannon continued, "...so I feel sort of weird asking you this, dont get mad at me, but...have you remembered anything else?"
Claire's face flushed again, as her eyes darted away she muttered, "Why would I get mad at you because of that?" She paused, then added quietly, "I remembered more. About..." her voice dropped to a whisper, "...Charlie."
"I knew it!" Shannon squealed, "What happened between you two?"
"You're just trying to distract me from your mystery boy," she grinned, but answered anyway. "Nothing happened between us. Nothing earth shattering. I just remembered um...some--some feelings."
"That's almost as good!" Shannon grinned, too. "You like Charlie!"
"No, I..." Claire dropped her gaze, "I don't know, but I..." she looked up, smiling sheepishly, "Yeah, I might like him."
"Oh my God!" Shannon blinked, still grinning, "That's so, so...wow. So are you gonna tell him?"
"Are you gonna tell the guy you're in love with how you feel?"
"I told you, I dont think I'm in love with him, exactly. I don't know. I don't think it's right."
"Well, how about you tell your mystery guy, and I'll tell Charlie?"
"Claire, that's not fair--"
Claire gave her a steely look, "Okay, obviously you think you've got alot to lose here, and this guy means alot to you. But Charlie's my friend, probably my best friend on this island. And it's scary to think about losing that. Plus, you're prettier than me. You're not pregnant, either. I'd say we're about even here."
"You are really pretty Claire, and it doesn't matter to Charlie that you're preg--" Shannon's eyes widened as what Claire had said sank in, "You're serious about this?"
"Yup. How about we tell them tomorrow? We can meet at sunset, and whichever one of us hasn't done it, will have some sort of punishment."
"How about...living off nothing but sea urchins for a week?"
Claire shook her head, "I don't mind the sea urchins. How about...not being able to see, or communicate with in any way, our separate men until we're rescued?"
Shannon paled, "Claire! What if...what if we're never rescued?"
Claire shrugged, "All the more reason to tell him how you feel tomorrow."
Shannon shook her head, "This is complete insanity, but...okay. I agree." The two women smiled at each other. "Jesus, Claire, you are by far the craziest, bravest woman I know."
Claire grinned, "Thanks."
Kate sat in Sawyer's tent, waiting. She folded her arms across her chest and sighed, not wanting to be here and not knowing exactly why she was.
He stumbled in, and collapsed into his chair/bed, pressing his fingers to his forehead and groaning.
"What have you been doing that's worked you so hard?" she teased.
He looked up, startled, and lowered his hand, "Freckles! What the hell are you doin' here, besides scarin' me half to death?"
"So...I'll take that as a, 'Hey, Kate, I'm really glad to see you, what can I do for you'?"
"Take however you wanna take it," he grinned, "Haven't really talked in a while, I wasthinkin' you'd forgotten about me."
"Sawyer, we talked this morning."
He shrugged, "Oh. Right. Well, hurry up and tell me what you want, 'cause, you know...people to do, things to see..."
"Yeah, yeah," she rolled her eyes, "Well, it's just that, this afternoon...I talked to Sayid, and..."
Sawyer groaned again.
"What? I thought you two were friends now?"
He made a non-commital noise, "I can see where this is goin'..."
"You can?" she raised her eyebrows, and continued, "Anyway. I was talking to Sayid, and he told me about how he was in love with Shannon, but he was--curious--about Boone. And now I am too. I want to know their background, Sawyer.''
He gave a low murmur.
"And you know."
"Possibly."
"Won't you tell me?"
"Freckles, it ain't my story to tell. Besides, if I tell you, you'll go tellin' Mohammed, and prob'ly Dr. Jackass, and soon it'll be all over the frickin' island. Ya really think they'll appreciate that? How would you like that, Freckles?''
Kate crossed her arms over her chest stubbornly, ''It's nothing big, right? Besides...in the name of love...I wouldn't mind...''
Sawyer raised an eyebrow, ''Someone oughta teach you how to tell the truth, cause every word of that was bullshit. An' all I got to say, and don't go repeatin' this, is that they are not what they seem."
Her eyebrows knotted in confusion, "But what do they seem...?"
"No comment, Freckles."
"But--"
An idea popped into his head. ''Alright, Freckles, you know what I've been thinkin'? I really like Mohammed and Sticks as a couple, right?'' He lied. Kate nodded, leaning closer. ''And there's this girl on the beach, uh, her name's...Madison,'' he quickly threw out a name. ''Well, she was talkin' to me and uh, seems she's got a teensy crush on our dear Metro.''
''So? What are we gonna do?'' she asked eagerly.
''Well, uh, I think that these two couples ain't gonna get together on their own. So you and me, we play matchmaker, right? Set 'em up on a double-date or somethin'.''
Kate nodded slowly, ''I like it, but...what's in it for us?''
Sawyer grinned greedily, ''That's my girl. Well, for me, I get a break from hearin' 'bout their relationship dramas. And at the end of it, I'll tell you the story of Shannon and Boone.''
Kate grinned, ''I like it. When do we start?''
''As early as possible, their shit gives me headaches. I think we should get them all together tomorrow. Now, any other spectacular reason you're in here, such as to profress your undyin' love for me, or are ya gonna leave so I can get some sleep?"
"Sleep? The sun's barely gone down!"
He shrugged, squinting, "Big day."
"Oh, right," she stood up, "Night, then," as she left she snorted, "So much for having people to do!"
He smiled smugly and muttered to himself, "Oh yeah, she loves me."
In the early night, Shannon sat thinking. Thinking about the change in her, why she had acted the way she had with Claire today, all squealy and girly. It was a change, and Shannon didn't want to change. The bitchiness was a part of her, and she'd always hated happy people. So she didn't trust this island now, because she'd made friends with someone like Claire, someone happy. It was strange and it wasn't Shannon.
Boone always had happy girlfriends. She always hated them.
She wondered if Claire and Boone would ever get together. She wondered how she'd deal with that, whether she'd end up hating Claire.
She hated this. Being here. Things should be different. If she had to be stuck on a desert island with Boone, things could have at least been different. Like Sawyer had said. She hated to admit it, but he was right. And this situation, this problem that she had, it was all her fault.
Damn her father for ever meeting Sabrina Carlisle.
She sat there, thinking, a look of utter confusion on her face. These last few days...she'd changed so much. She'd pushed away Sayid, she'd gone to Boone for comfort--hell, she had been talking to Boone again--she'd gone to Sawyer for advice, lord, she'd told Sawyer everything--what was she thinking?--she'd lied to Sayid, she'd partially told Boone of her feelings, she'd nearly lost him, really...and she'd been all giggly with Claire. She'd promised Claire to try with Boone, not that Claire knew who she'd been talking about. Why the massive change? She decided that she loved and hated this person she'd become.
A few days ago, the only person on this island who had noticed her presence was Sayid. And now...she had found friends in Sawyer and Claire, was barely talking to Sayid, and didn't know where she stood with Boone. Well, she thought sardonically, at least that last one wasn't much of a change.
When Shannon was younger, she had hated change. All change was bad--her mom died, and her whole world changed. Her dad remarried, and her whole world changed. Boone went to college, and everything changed. When Boone left for college she was sixteen or so, and she realized that instead of being afraid of change, instead of letting her world change and moaning about it afterwards, she'd change everything, and take control of her life. Maybe then, she wouldn't hate change so much. And so, the lies began. She'd twist her relationships, and Boone, around her little finger to get what she wanted--his attention. She hurt everyone else so that she wouldn't get hurt anymore, but what she didn't realize--oh, she realized when she was drunk, but quickly forgot it later--was that she was still hurting. And when she tired of the same old lies, over and over, the travelling began. She was getting nowhere fast with her education, so convinced Daddy to let her open her trust fund early and start a life of...of what, exactly, she was never sure. She was a conman in her own right--she lived off Boone's money, and his attention. Her only enjoyment came from seeing him rush across the globe to come to her "rescue". She fed every dumb guy the same dumb line--"Hit me, so that my stupid brother will come give us the money that I'm owed"--but never went into details about why she was owed it. It always worked. Then, when she was eighteen, she came home to Sabrina's wails and Boone's tears. If it were ever something she couldn't stand, it was Boone's tears. And she was told that her father was dead. Her world changed, and this time it fell apart.
She was always the strong one. He was the weak one. But not at her father's funeral, oh no, she was so very weak. So very drunk afterwards. She screamed at her stepmother, at him, to her dad, at everyone, until Boone pulled her away, upstairs, comforted her and put her to bed. Her screams that night still echo in her ears--"Get the fuck off me, get the hell away from me! I dont need you, I never have, I hate you!"--and she can still remember his every word back, his yelling and his consoling, and she still sees her stepmother break down.
A few days later, she was off, and the Shannon she had once been, years ago, had completely disappeared. The hurt, popular, girl who was still sweet, who cared, was gone, and in her place was a hurt, manipulating, young woman wearing a hardened mask and with tight shell wrapped around her. Her father's death left her two things: a solid increase in her bank account--she no longer needed Boone's money--and a valid sob story about a dead daddy and a wicked stepmother. And every man she entranced saw her as a Snow White or Cinderella, and convinced themselves that they were her Prince Charming, until she got Boone's attention and her cut of his money and she was gone again.
Brian changed everything, again. She was getting desperate--hadn't heard from Boone in months, so was just picking up any guy she could find--and luckily for her this one had a low salary and didn't ask questions. He wasn't her type in the looks department, but he'd do. What she didn't know was that he knew that she craved Boone's attention. Of course, he had mixed feelings about his girlfriend being crazy about her stepbrother, but went along with it...as long as he got the money.
He hadn't meant to tell the stepbrother the truth. But, as he'd told Shannon during their fight, Boone's type of guy always annoyed him. And for someone who wanted to be her Prince Charming, Brian hated seeing this other guy ride up in his white armor, flying in to save the day. So he couldn't help himself. He told. After the stepbrother left, Shannon started yelling, about how she'd lost Boone now, maybe forever, and how it was all Brian's fault. Brian argued that if she was so concerned about holding onto Boone then why'd she cheat him out of his time and money everytime she saw him? She had no answer and he continued, telling her his side of things and that he'd always known she loved her brother, stepbrother, whatever. She insisted that she didn't, she yelled, she cried, and he took the cheque that was made out to him in what was worth over a hundred thousand Australian dollars, and he left.
So she went to Boone, drunk again, and he comforted her, again. Well, no, he didn't...but he succumbed to her and that was just as good. The next morning, she didn't know how to deal, she still feared change and so the mask was back up, the shell was back on, and they left for LA. On a plane trip that definately changed her life in ways she could never imagine. And for some reason now, she'd let down her shell and taken off her mask, and now she was exposed. She had everything to lose, and everything to gain, and she was terrified.
A/N: All that stuff about Shannon's background isn't all that important, just my little rant at the time, so don't pay too much attention to that. In case you couldn't tell, Sawyer was making up that stuff about ''Madison''. Reviews make me happy...