A/N: I think that I've been waiting the whole fic to use these lyrics, I think they fit more than others I used.

Sorry if this chapter sucked, I had a massive block halfway through. The reviews kept me going, though, thanks :)

Chapter 6 - Nothing Else

Desperate for changing
Starving for truth
Closer to where I started
Chasing after you

I'm falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I've held onto
I'm standing here until you make me move
I'm hanging by a moment here with you

I'm living for the only thing I know
I'm running and not quite sure where to go
And I don't know what I'm diving into
Just hanging by a moment here with you

Lifehouse - "Hanging By A Moment"

"Sawyer, wake up." Kate said impatiently as she loomed over him, her hands on her hips.

"Mmmm...I don't wanna..." he moaned, turning onto his side.

"Sawyer!" she shook his arm.

"Noo...I'm sleepin'...go find someone else to rob..." he pulled his arm away.

"Rob?" she shook her head, confused, then grinned, "Sawyer, if you don't wake up this instant I'm putting my clothes back on..."

He sat up immediately and rubbed his eyes, "Huh? What did I miss?" he then realized she was dressed and giggling. "Hey, Freckles, that's not fair." She ignored him and kept giggling. "Yeah, well, I'm up now, ya happy? What d'ya want?"

She gained control of herself, "Sorry, Sawyer...Well, anyway, I was thinking, about you know, the whole Shannon and Sayid and Boone thing. When are we gonna start doing that?"

He rubbed his forehead, trying to dull the small ache that was already forming, "Didn't I tell you tomorrow?"

"If that was supposed to be a hint for me to leave, look around, sunshine. It is tomorrow."

"Leave the nicknames to me," he teased, standing up. "Tomorrow my ass, what the hell time is it?" he went to look outside, "There's hardly anyone awake!" he gave her a steely glare. "You interrupted my sleep way too early, Freckles."

"You went to bed at like sundown! I think you've slept enough," she sighed, sitting down, "Besides, I figured we should start early, form a plan or something."

"Wow, you really are bored, huh?" he sat opposite her as she shrugged. "Well, I don't know. Seems to me all we have to do is sit these young couples down to talk over their differences."

"You mean like an intervention?"

"Yeah, sort of." Sawyer nodded, having just made it up and no real idea of what he was talking about. "So, there's this great clearing down the beach, you may have seen it before, it's where that doctor and the Iraqi tortured that bad, bad southern guy, who's an asshole but actually really charming and good looking?"

Kate rolled her eyes, "Yeah, but only to himself."

"Aw, Freckles, I think Dr. Jackass agrees with me, if you don't."

"I think you can keep dreaming."

"Yeah, sorry, I shouldn't interrupt your perfect dreamworld with the good doctor, where you guys live in the house with the white picket fence, and all, right?"

"I don't think I'll get any white picket fences with anyone, not here," she said quietly.

Sawyer grinned, "We can try ta make one, if you want."

She smiled too slightly, "Yeah, sure," she said sarcastically. "So anyway, I think that's a good idea. To take them there."

"Yeah, that's why I suggested it, Freckles."

She rolled her eyes, "So, now we just have to get them there."

"Well, hows about you concentrate on gettin' Metro, an' I'll bring Mohammed an' Monique."

"I thought her name was Madison?" Kate wrinkled her nose.

"Right, right, whatever. The point is, I'll take them, you take Metro, 'kay?"

"Alright, sure. What about Shannon?"

"Uh...She'll follow Met--Mohammed, when, uh, she sees him with Mandy...she'll get jealous, right?" He was planning more on Shannon being jealous when she saw Kate with Boone.

"Sawyer, it's Madison."

"Who cares!" Sawyer threw up his hands in frustration.

"Come to think of it, how come I've never seen or heard of her before?"

"'S'a big island, Freckles...and there are over 40 of us, you can't expect ta know everyone."

"I guess."

"Check that damn manifest if you don't believe me," he bluffed.

She rolled her eyes, "I believe you, Sawyer."

"Great," he said dryly, and they both paused.

"Sawyer..." Kate started, "There's only a small chance that Shannon will follow us out there. I mean, she'll see Sayid with Madison, but you'll be there too. I just don't think that'll be enough to get her to go."

"What are you sayin', darlin'?" Sawyer grumbled.

"Well...she's friends with Claire, isn't she?"

"Baby Momma, right?"

"Yes, the pregnant girl," Kate rolled her eyes, "I could ask Claire to talk Shannon into it..."

"Sure, you do that," Sawyer said, sounding distracted. "Are they all awake?"

"I saw both Claire and Sayid on my way over here. I don't know what Madison looks like, so..."

"And Sticks an' Metro?"

Kate shrugged, "No idea."

"We could go out on the beach. You go talk to Momma and I'll keep an eye out for the brother an' sister."

"And Sayid?"

Sawyer gave a 'do-I-have-to?' groan.

"Sawyer..."

"Yeah, sure...remind me why we're doin' this again?" he asked as they left his tent and wandered up the beach.

"It was your idea!" she cried as they reached a spot between Shannon's shelter, Sayid's, and Boone's. Sawyer sat down and absent-mindedly waved Kate away. She left to find Claire.

Shannon woke up feeling somewhat happy, for the first time since they'd crashed. She smiled softly, her eyes still closed, and sank deeper into her...Boone?

Her eyes flew up and then she squeezed them shut again. She'd slept in Boone's bed. Again. What was wrong with her? What was with this yo-yo of emotions towards him--one minute, she loved him, the next he was annoying, and the next she just thought of him as a brother.

Okay, so those last two weren't happening all that often.

She sighed sadly. She knew it was wrong. She was confused and she didn't know why she was doing this to herself.

Boone's eyes flicked up. She met them shyly and gave him a small smile, "Hey," she said softly.

He gave her a halfsmile, "Morning."

"Mmm," she agreed, lying her head back down on his chest, "So, what are you doing today?"

He curled his arms around her and pulled her body closer to his, in a sort of hug, "And you care because?"

She shrugged slightly, "You haven't been around much."

"So you keep saying."

"Yeah, coz it's the truth."

"Okay. So, why do you wanna know what I'm doing today?"

"Because, Boone," she sighed, "It's boring as hell here without you to fight with."

He grinned that halfsmile again, "Oh, well, good to know that you need me for something. Even if it is only because I'm the only guy who'll yell at you."

"That's true," Shannon admitted, "No other guy has ever told me I'm wrong half as much as you have. In like, a few hours."

He sighed, "Come on Shannon, it's not like that and you know it."

"It just seems like, sometimes, you're so much better than me, and it's supposed to be common knowledge. Even when you said I couldn't catch a fish, or, you know, fend for myself, remember that? God, what did you say, 'at least you don't have to worry about starving with me taking care of you'? Even a week or so ago you said I was useless."

"You remember what I said way back then?" He hadn't even thought she was listening then. His surprised expression gracefully took on an ashamed tone, "I don't think that any more, Shan. I never really did, I just..." he sighed. "Look, you've really changed while I've been with John. You helped Sayid translate all that French stuff, even if you used that to your advantage to get Sayid. He helped you build your shelter, sure, but you did alot of that yourself. You never were useless, Shan...sometimes dependant, maybe that was just laziness, maybe it was being manipulative, whatever...but you've always been independant, too. And you're strong, Shan. You've been through a lot. I'm sorry for being an asshole before."

She stared up at him, shocked, mouth slightly open, "You are alot of things, Boone Carlyle, but 'asshole' is not one of them. Never has, never will be." She shook her head. "Fuck, hanging around Locke has changed you." He opened his mouth but she said quickly, "Not in any drastic way, just you know how to...speak up, now."

He blinked at a few times, deep in thought, "Yeah, that's a, uh, that's a way of putting it."

"So, you...don't think I'm useless?" she asked, hating how hopeful her voice sounded.

His lip slowly curved up into a another halfsmile, "No, Shan. And if you are, I'm no better."

She smiled back at him. "Thanks, Boone. I think that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me."

"That's because you've actually been nice lately...and hey, I was nice to you. Before, um Sydney, and...stuff..."

She tipped her head to the side, thinking, "Maybe. I can't remember."

Boone rolled his eyes. They both paused. "So, uh, yesterday morning you woke up and wanted Sayid. What do you want this morning? You know what, I'll stick with this 'nice' thing, you can have anythng you want." He grinned.

You, she thought helplessly. "Um...well, I'd like a day at a beauty spa and after that a shopping spree on your card and then a night of alcohol and guys," she said quickly.

Boone's grin widened, "Anything...but that."

She let out a fake sigh, "I guess, if I can't have that, I'll just have to settle for you."

He laughed a little, "Nice choice, Shan."

"Well, I liked it." She crawled off of him and stood up. He followed reluctantly.

"Whatcha doing?"

"Come down to the beach with me. The sun's just barely up so the sky should be all pretty."

"Ooh, well, I love the sky when it's all pretty! There's nothing I'd rather see!" he squealed, adopting a girly voice.

She rolled her eyes and hit his arm, "You're so gay," she smiled and shook her head as they left his shelter.

Sayid was sitting by his shelter fiddling with some maps and other things, trying to make it look as though he was working. Even though the sun was barely up. Even though he wasn't looking at the maps or anything.

He sighed as he saw Shannon and Boone exit Boone's tent, for the second time in two days. He had been out all morning, so he could only assume she'd slept there. Sayid wasn't normally a jealous man, and he refused to believe he was jealous now. No. Boone was her brother. He supposed he was just curious. They did act curiously, after all, one couldn't help wanting to find out what had happened to them.

He remembered that stupid expression, curiousity killed the cat, and hoped that his curiousity wouldn't kill his relationship with Shannon.

Just her brother, just her brother, just her brother, he repeated over and over in his head.

Sayid watched as Shannon and Boone didn't see him and made their way over to a spot in the sand, facing the sun. Boone sat down and Shannon lay next to him, her head in his lap. Sayid's eyes narrowed. Just. Her. Brother, he thought desperately, and turned his eyes downward to stare into the map...occasionally looking back up at them.

Boone smiled a little, "You sat like this last night too, what's with that?"

She shrugged, "I don't know, it's comfortable."

"Riiight," he said, smoothing her hair back. She smiled and they both looked up at the sun. "You were right, it is sort of pretty." He said, kind of reluctantly, in a hushed voice.

She grinned, "See, I told you. You should know by now that if you want to get anywhere in life, you have to listen to me."

"Yeah sure, look where that got us."

She glared up at him, "Yeah, I told the pilot to crash the plane," she rolled her eyes.

"So that time you said you were going to the bathroom...I should have known, you hate airplane bathrooms," he smacked his forehead dramatically.

"I didn't say I was going to the bathroom on the plane," she looked at him like he was an idiot.

"I know," he admitted, "I was trying to make the story interesting."

"Well, boy wonder, you kinda failed there."

"So it's okay for you to have lame nicknames, but not me?"

She grinned up at him, "It's okay for me to do anything."

"That's for damn sure," he rolled his eyes.

Sayid watched them mournfully, it was practically the first time he'd seen Shannon genuinely smiling at Boone, as far as he could remember. And they were laughing and talking and his hand was in her hair and fine, Sayid was maybe a little bit jealous. But it wasn't anything. He was her brother.

He looked up to see Sawyer walking towards him and sighed. This was exactly what he didn't need.

"Heya, Mohammed," Sawyer said with a forced, unnatural grin, and sat down next to Sayid.

Sayid looked at him in surprise. "Yes?"

"Well, ya coulda been more friendly, there, Aladdin. Nice day, beautiful morning, all that manners crap."

"Maybe I'm just trying to figure out what you are doing here."

"Fine, I'll tell ya," Sawyer grumbled, "I need your help."

"You? Are asking for my help?" Sayid asked incredibly.

"What did I just say, Mohammed?"

"I'm just having a hard time believing that."

"Well, believe it. I see you're also havin' a hard time dealin' with Shannon and Boone talkin' to each other again."

"Excuse me?"

"It's written all over your face. And your body language. And if you had a pen, I'm sure it would be all over your maps here, too."

Sayid looked away, back at Shannon. "Did you come over here for a reason, Sawyer?"

"Ye-es, point dexter, like I said, I need your help."

"With what?" Sayid asked, actually giving Sawyer an attentive look. "Technical? Survival?"

"Uhh..." Sawyer raised an eyebrow, lost. "Look, Mohammed, I just need you to come with me into the magic forest to check somethin' out."

Sayid turned back to studying his maps, "I don't know want it is you want, Sawyer, but I don't understand why you are trying to lure me into the jungle. Revenge, perhaps?"

Sawyer threw his hands up in the air, "For Christ's sake!" he cried. "Look--Freckles'll be there, so I ain't gonna do anythin'. I just want to...fine, I'll level with ya." Sayid lowered his papers. "I wanna help you understand Sticks an' Metro."

"Shannon and Boone?" Sayid asked, a little confused.

"Yeah. Aw, just friggin' believe me," Sawyer groaned. "Look, I'm goin' inta the jungle later, after Freckles gets back. You can come with me, or you can stay here. It's your choice."

"I am contemplating it," Sayid went back to ignoring Sawyer, who sighed in complete irritation, and stood up and left.

Kate sat next to Claire, who was sitting by the water, rubbing her belly. "Hey," Kate said softly.

"Hi."

"So...um, do you know what Shannon's doing today?"

"Nothing with me, as far as I know."

"Well, look, I'm working with Sawyer to match up a bunch of couples," Kate started and Claire looked on in confusion, "You don't have to understand. Just help me. When you see me take Boone into the forest, make Shannon go. Can you do that?" Kate completely forgot about her earlier plan with Sayid being the better lure.

Claire's confused expression intensified, "Uh...sure."

Kate smiled, "Thanks," she chirped, then stood up and made her way back to Sawyer.

About an hour or so later, Kate and Sawyer decided that it was time. Kate cornered Boone as he was walking towards the trees, Claire was already sitting with Shannon, and Sawyer was walking over to Sayid.

"Boone," she said quickly, before he left the beach.

He spun around, a sort of surprised look on his face, "Hey?"

"Hey, what're you doing?"

"I was just gonna go up to the caves, you know, see if I can help with anything," he said, shrugging.

"Oh, okay. Um, I was just wondering if you could come check out this spot I found, tell me if it's good enough for a camp ground."

"Sure," Boone nodded. Kate grinned and gestured for him to follow her.

Shannon and Claire lay on the beach, staring into the water. Shannon turned onto her side, and propped herself up on one elbow. "So, what have you been up to, Claire?"

"Nothing much. You know that bald man, Locke? He wants me to help him build something, but other than that--'

"Did you talk to Charlie?" Shannon cut in.

"Not yet, did you talk to your guy?"

Shannon shook her head. "Did you see where Sayid went? Or Boone?"

"Um, I think I saw Boone following Kate through the trees just there."

Shannon frowned, "Oh."

Claire nodded.

"You know what, I think I've gotta go see Jack," Shannon stood up and walked directly towards where Boone and Kate had left. Claire smiled to herself.

Sawyer and Sayid were stumbling through the forest, "Why does this terrain seem familiar?"

"I don't know," Sawyer snapped, "Do I look like the local terrain expert to you?"

They both fell quiet, making their way through the trees, till Sayid spoke up again, "Did you give Shannon alcohol last night, Sawyer?"

Sawyer gave him a blank look. "Uh?"

"From your stash from the plane. That is what Boone told me."

"Oh. Your Shannon. Sticks. Right," Sawyer covered. "Yeah, I did, what about it?"

"What other Shannon would I be talking about?" Sayid shook his head. "And no reason, I was just wondering."

"You thought Metro was lyin'."

"No, I simply...yes, I did."

"Don't blame ya," Sawyer muttered. Sayid cast him a suspicious look but luckily they'd made it to the clearing.

"I knew this area looked familiar!" Sayid turned on Sawyer, "This is next to where I...tortured you." Comprehension dawned on his face, "You're going to return the favor."

"Hell no," Sawyer rolled his eyes. "Not even I would stoop that low. I ain't playin' this game as dirty as you think. Just wait for, uh, Freckles, 'kay Aladdin?"

Sayid rolled his eyes, too, "When are you going to learn my name, Sawyer?"

Sawyer started poking around the bushes, "I ain't even gonna dignify that one, Abdul." Sayid sighed and sat on a rock.

A few minutes later, Kate and Boone stumbled into the clearing. "Hi," Kate said to Sayid.

"Hello," he replied, a confused yet amused expression on his face.

"What the hell is going on here?" Boone cried.

"Well, um, you see--" Kate was cut off by Shannon bursting through the trees.

"How could they? Right under my...keeping it from the whole camp!" she was raging, then she noticed the others, "Wh-what's going on?"

"Yeah," Boone agreed, and he, Shannon, and Sayid turned to Kate and Sawyer, who were now standing side by side.

"Y'all have some--issues--to work through," Sawyer announced. Shannon gave him an incredulous look. "Hey, honey, it's damn obvious you ain't gettin' no where by yourself." Shannon crossed her arms over her chest.

"Wait a minute, where's Madison?" Kate asked.

"Who?" the other three chorused.

"I, uh, made her up," Sawyer said. "Sorry, Freckles."

Kate now looked confused, too, "Why?"

"Come on, I'll explain everythin'," Sawyer said, indicating that they should leave, which they did.

"Okay, what's going on?" Boone repeated.

"I don't know," Shannon said, sitting next to Sayid on the rock. Boone stifled an annoyed sigh.

An interesting look crossed Sayid's face, "Sawyer told me that he wanted help me understand the..." he trailed off, staring at them both.

"The what, Sayid?" Shannon asked gently. Boone rolled his eyes.

"The," Sayid cleared his throat, "The two of you," he finished hesitantly.

"There's nothing to understand," Shannon said shortly.

Boone sighed, "Maybe we should just tell him, Shan. The truth this time."

Shannon paled a little, "But--we--me and you, we, we haven't even--I don't know what you want from me, Boone," she said quietly. "I can't risk everything over this if I don't even know what you're thinking."

"Shannon, you do know what I'm thinking," he said gently, sitting on her other side. "Exactly what you told me in Sydney."

She looked up at him, and gave a small nod, "Okay then. Tell him." She stood up and sat on the ground opposite them, her back against a tree.

Sayid gave Boone an amused look as he stumbled into the story. "When I was ten and she was eight, my mom married her dad."

Sayid's mouth fell open, "You aren't related?" He asked in dismay, glancing over at Shannon, who put her head in her hands.

"Nope," Boone took in a deep breath, "And at first, we were friends, and Shannon was all sweet and stuff. Then Mom and her dad grew apart. We rarely saw either of them. We weren't a family at all. So Shannon went all rebellious, drinking and staying out late and smoking and shit. She was about fifteen. And then she started calling on me to bail her out of her shit. Which I did. Then her dad gave her money to start travelling. When she was eighteen, her dad died. There was this big fight with Shan and my mom at the wake, which ended in Shan moving to Paris and my mom giving me a high job in her company so I couldn't follow her. The next two years were filled up with me flying wherever Shannon was to help her escape abusive guys. Then I got the last call." He glanced over to Shannon, who was now looking up at him and blushing. "You wanna take it from here?"

"I met this guy, Brian," she said to Sayid, who was staring back at her, his face impassive. "And he was, well, whatever, Australian, I was in Australia. I moved in with him. Waited a week or so, got him to hit me a bunch of times, called Boone. He came to my rescue, paid Brian off, but um then Brian told him that it was all a scam. And he figured out that they were all scams." She avoided looking at both men and continued absently. "So, then Boone left and me and Brian got in a big fight. I yelled at him, said now I'd lost Boone forever, that it was Brian's fault. He said that if I was so worried about holding onto Boone then why'd I cheat him out of his time and money...it was because I needed his attention...then Brian said that I loved him. Boone. And I said I didn't. And he took Boone's money and kicked me out. I went to this cheap, disgusting bar, got drunk, and thought about everything. And then I went to Boone's hotel...and we, um, we..." she trailed off.

Boone sighed and picked up the story, "She told me that I'd brought the money because I was in love with her. Which was sort of...true. And I said that she was sick and delusional and then we, um..." He stared at Shannon.

"Slept together," she said shortly. Sayid shook his head.

"So. I was right to think there was something between you." He said with no emotion, standing up. Shannon quickly got to her feet, intercepting him before he could leave.

"It--it wasn't...I'm sorry," she said slowly, feeling her new world spinning out of control, and trying to fix things. "I should have told you...but it doesn't matter any more."

Boone looked away, pissed off and let down.

Sayid raised an eyebrow, "How do you mean?"

"I-I," Shannon looked from Sayid to Boone. She bit her lip, "I don't know, okay!" she said loudly. Sayid stepped back. "I don't know why we had sex, I don't know why I want to do it again, I don't know how I feel about either of you and I don't know how either of you feel about me." She looked at Boone, "I know that it would be easier for both of us if we just let go of each other. But I can't do that, and I don't want to." She looked back at Sayid. "Last night I had a choice. I could have gone into Boone's empty tent, or I could have gone over to you. I chose the empty tent. I think that says a lot. It says that I'm always going to need to be with him, whether he's there or not, whether I show it or not, whether he hates me or not. There's always going to be a part of me that feels something for him. And it's not fair to anyone for you and I to be together while I'm only thinking of him." She finished, hoping she'd explained herself properly. Boone just looked confused, and Sayid sighed.

"Why are you telling me this, Shannon?"

"I want you both to know...to know how I feel...once and for all," she bit her lip again, "And I don't want you to hate me," she said quietly.

"It's not as simple as that, Shannon. Not only did you lie to me, you have feelings for the man you led me to believe was your brother. And, effectively, you are breaking up with me. Although we were not officially a couple." Shannon looked down, and Sayid rested his hand against her cheek, saying softly, "But I do not hate you, Shannon. I'm just...disappointed."

She looked up at him with watery eyes. Boone stared at both of them, feeling very pissed off. "I don't understand you, Shannon." She and Sayid jumped apart as if just realizing he was there. "You pretty much just broke up with your little boyfriend, when you know nothing will happen with us, because you don't want it to. And even if you did--the whole island thinks we're related. I don't get you."

"I think you two need to have a talk," Sayid said softly. "I'll be on the beach if you want me, Shannon." She opened her mouth to protest. "I do not hate you," he repeated. "No hard feelings?" She nodded and he left.

Shannon looked back over at Boone. He was shaking his head. "We shouldn't have told him."

She sat down next to him on the rock, "It was bound to come out eventually."

He looked at her and she thought that she might have seen that old familiar loving look in his eyes. "You've really changed, Shan."

"Good change or bad change?" she asked with a smile, although she could see in his eyes that he liked it.

He shrugged, "Depends...I've always, um, liked your personality," he struggled to say what he was thinking, "And I still like it...but in a different way."

"Can I tell you a secret?"

He lifted an eyebrow, "Yeah?"

"Being nice is sort of boring."

He laughed, and she smiled, then they just sat there, watching the moment pass and wondering what exactly they were doing. They fell into silence until he voiced their thoughts.

"What's going on, today? I mean, is it just me, or did you...are you and Sayid..." he trailed off.

"Over?" she asked and he nodded. "Yeah, I don't know, I think so. I mean, I don't think he'll even want me after this, so..."

Boone shook his head, "We told him."

"I know," she said softly.

"Why did we tell him?"

"You tell me, genius, it was your idea," she paused, then added. "It sounded like Sawyer was gonna tell Kate, too. So before we know it, Jack'll know, and then Sun, and then Jin and Michael, and then that kid...and Kate'll probably tell Charlie and/or Claire." Shannon sighed, then remembered her bet with Claire. "Oh crap. Oh crap."

"What?" he asked, confused. "I doubt it'll spread like that, I mean, maybe Kate can keep a secret--"

Meanwhile Shannon's thoughts were going a mile a minute; I can't be here. Not with him. I'll do something that I'll regret. Like Sydney. Except I don't regret Sydney. And what if I regret not doing anything now? Oh shit, I've gotta get away from here. She stood up, and started to walk away. He jumped to his feet.

"Shan? Shannon, where you going?" He moved after her and she broke into a run. Bewildered, he ran after her, and together they tore through the jungle. They were just about going asrpund in long circles, and she was pretty lost. He was far behind her, but not far enough. She could hear him calling her name, so she kept running.

Not too long after that, she felt her chest tightening. Oh shit. On top of the feeling like her lungs were being squeezed, she felt a bunch of jabbing pains along her abdomen. She was so caught up in the pain that she forgot to stop running, but eventually she doubled over and fell to the ground, sitting up slightly, gasping for air. "Shannon? Where'd you go?" she heard Boone yell. She just wheezed and focused on breathing. She couldn't remember what Jack had told her and was frantically gasping through her mouth while her throat tightened. She managed a shrill scream of pain and Boone burst out of the trees, and saw her half-lying against another.

"Shit," he said, quickly kneeling in front of her. Tears were streaming down her pale face and she was panicking. "Remember what Jack said, Shan, you can do this," he said calmly. She shook her head sharply and managed to choke out something about dying. "Don't be stupid, Shan, I won't let you die. Breathe in through your nose," he said, trying desperately to remember what Jack had done. She shook her head again. "Shannon. You can do it, okay? You can fight it. I can't help you by myself, you gotta help me get you through this. In through your nose, do it for me, please, Shan." Her expression changed a little. "Can you do this?" she nodded. "Breathe through your nose, in and out, okay, do what I'm doing." He breathed through his nose and she gasped a little more then mimicked him, gritting her teeth. "See, just like before, right? Your color's coming back and everything. Keep breathing through your nose, okay? You're doing great, Shan..."

She focused on her nose and the air coming through, and felt the attack passing. Her chest loosened a little.

"Just keep breathing like that, okay, Shan?"

"Yep," she said weakly, taking in deep breaths through her nose.

"You okay now?" He asked, moving around her to sit next to her.

She nodded, embarrassed, still breathing carefully, "I was stupid," she said, her voice still weak.

"Oh, no, it's okay," he said awkwardly. She leant into him, exhausted, and he lightly put his arms around her. "Just forget about all that, okay, concentrate on breathing."

"I'm fine now," she said, trying to sound it but only sounding feeble.

"Mm hm," he said, letting her catch her breath completely. "You really scared me."

"I'm sorry," she paused, "Since when did you become a doctor?"

"I just did what Jack did," he said humbly.

"You saved my life," she pointed out.

"No. It's my fault you were running anyway." She shook her head and he nodded. "I don't know why, but you were running from me. Right?"

She sighed, annoyed with him yet glad that the air was passing through fine, "Yeah, no, I was being stupid."

He smoothed down her hair, "You're okay now?"

She rolled her eyes but smiled, "Yes, I'm fine." He sighed in relief. Her smile widened, then dropped as she said quietly, "I'm sorry...that I scared you or whatever."

"God, Shannon, I thought you were gonna die. It was more than just scared, it was..." how did he explain this? "I don't know who I am without you. You've always been there. If you weren't around anymore, if you-if you died, I don't know what I'd do."

"I know," she whispered. He shook his head. "Yes, I do," she laughed softly, "I feel the same way about you. I'm glad that you're here with me. If I was stuck on this island, and you weren't here...I'd go crazy. I would have died because no one would be around to care about me, make sure I ate, you know, all the stuff that you did. Even though, it's all my fault you were on the plane anyway," she ended miserably.

"It wasn't your fault, Shan." She nodded adamantly and he sighed, "I'm the one that made you take this flight. I think we're even here, okay? John thinks this was fate. That we were meant to crash."

She looked up at him over her shoulder, "Maybe he's right...that at least takes the blame off us." He laughed a little.

"Why'd you run?" he asked abruptly.

"Before? I just, I don't...I didn't know what I was doing." She turned around, twisted out of his arms so she could look at him. "I've got this new feeling, Boone. Whenever you're around I don't know what I'm doing, I'm unsure of everything, I don't want to fuck things up between us but I guess it's too late for that. I just, I...I want things to change, I want to be happy. I want us both to be happy, you know. I want to let go of this thing inside of me that tells me not to love you. But if I do that, I don't know what I'm doing. Love is such a deep feeling, you can totally fall into it, and I don't want to do that, because I don't want to lose you."

He blinked. "What are you trying to say?"

"I don't know!" she cried, frustrated. "But that's why I ran. I don't know what to do with these feelings. I'm confused."

He nodded understandingly, "Me too." And yet again they fell into silence, staring at each other.

"What happens now?" she whispered.

He shrugged, still staring at her, looking as though he was fighting a battle within himself. She stared back at him, a slightly confused look on her face. Then he leaned forward and kissed her.

She was so surprised that she didn't respond. She never though this would happen, she thought she'd lost him.

He was afraid he'd came on too strong, when all of a sudden she was kissing him back, and with her on top of him, they fell backwards against a tree, both of them losing themselves in each other.

A/N: Felt I had to end it there. Next chapter picks up straight after this. Sorry this one's so choppy. Please, please review! (I'm amazed that you guys actually like this.)

-Oh, and, thanks for that stuff about her dad, I needed that for another story I'm writing.