Disclaimer: See chapter 01 for full disclaimer.

Thanks a million to Alice and Whit, my betas! And to everyone who reviewed!

Chap. 44 – Hell

After spending a few days living in a hotel, Draco gathered the few clothes and personal items that were found intact in his apartment and decided to move in to Harry's house at Grimmauld Place. Mrs. Black received him with a welcoming shriek that almost broke all of the windows on the first floor. Then she tried to pretend that she was very displeased that the house was inhabited once again, when in fact she was thrilled to have someone to shout at and to complain to about things.

Draco ignored her most of the time, but he was under such stress that he found himself under her portrait one night, dead drunk, spilling out the lunatic encounter with his parents, laughing about the whole thing, and then crying his heart out about how alone he felt and how much he missed Harry. Mrs. Black, having stolen a bottle of wine from another portrait, laughed and cried with him as well. She even shared a few of her family secrets. And although she tried to deny that her crying was because she missed Harry, she didn't sound very convincing.

Mrs. Black's presence was strangely soothing to him. Her constant nagging and foolish talks helped him get his mind out of his current problems at work, and to some extent with his parents. At least Hermione had made Jonah drop all charges against Draco, alleging that his arguments were weak and completely off base. The only one who could prove something against Draco was Smear, and the man had simply disappeared from London. Draco bet he had taken off to somewhere unknown with Bellatrix. They ought to, especially now that Lucius was tracking them down. It wasn't that Bellatrix feared Lucius, but his father wasn't an opponent one could take lightly. Once infuriated, Lucius was very scary, and at that moment his fury was being saved for Bellatrix and Draco's ex-boyfriend.

As for Lucius himself, he had only sent a letter once to Draco about silly matters from the Manor. That hadn't struck Draco as odd. His father, he had finally learned at their last meeting, was of a peculiar sort. His madness was something that worried Draco. Lucius' actions were unpredictable. But he was determined not to let both of his parents' insanity run his life forever. He needed to break free from them once and for all. Although it was difficult, it wasn't an impossible task.

At least he had stopped receiving threatening letters condemning his sinful relationship with Harry, which gave him some relief. The Daily Prophet had also changed its target to another hot scoop: the corruption behind the Ministry's walls. Even though the public, in general, and the journal were openly against The Wizengamot's mitigation of Lucius' sentence, the wizard high court of law didn't seem to pay attention to the criticism around them.

Draco knew well how difficult it was to charge The Wizengamot of being corrupt, but he hoped justice would be done someday, and Lucius would be thrown back in prison where he belonged. He also hoped that Bellatrix would be caught and arrested. He and Hermione were working hard to accomplish that, almost as hard as Lucius.

Another week passed by without any news from Harry, Bellatrix or his father. Draco prayed every night for Harry's quick and safe return. He wasn't worried about their love fading anymore. Harry's last – and only – phone call had put his heart at ease. But he couldn't help feeling anxious sometimes. His heart ached with Harry's absence.

To pass the time and trick his lonely heart, Draco went out with Bill a couple of times – just for coffee – and hadn't felt anything for his ex other than tender friendship. He and Bill continued to be very close to each other, more now that they had finally settled down with their real soul mates. But that was all.

On his third week living in Harry's residence, Draco was surprised by Severus' sudden visit. As usual, the ex-Potions Master found himself in a very bad mood.

"I'm here to stay with you until Sirius and the brat come back, which might be a very long time… so you'd better get used to having me around," Severus informed Draco, bringing his luggage floating behind him, ascending the stairs and making himself comfortable in one of the many guests' chambers.

Draco just followed him with a frown. "Why? Did he get in touch with you again? And if he did, when was that? Harry hasn't called since–"

"Since you were attacked by your ex, I suppose," Severus completed for him. Draco went pale. "Calm down, Draco. Potter doesn't know what really happened. Not even Sirius knows. Sirius called me a little after Harry called you to inform me that Harry had the strangest dream about my Godson being attacked in his apartment. But everything seemed to be ok since you told Harry nothing serious had happened with you, just a pub fight. After struggling with myself, I came to London a week ago to investigate the truth. And I've found that not only has your ex tried to kill you, but you have also paid a visit to your dear lunatic father."

Draco stared him with his mouth hang open. "How did you find out about all of this?"

Severus smirked. "I have my sources."

"But nobody knows about my father except Hermione, and I doubt she'd say anything to you."

"It wasn't Granger," Severus said.

"Then who told you about my visit to the Manor?" Draco insisted.

Severus crossed his arms and sighed. "Your own father."

"My father?" Draco was flabbergasted. "When did you talk to him?"

"I heard he was under house arrest, so I went to say hi."

"Why?" Draco asked, shocked. "Why would you go there?"

"Why, silly boy? Because I was worried about you!" Severus exclaimed at him angrily. "I had to find out if he was responsible for attacking you. And surprisingly, he wasn't. He said it was your Aunt Bellatrix's doing in retaliation for that St Mungo's picture. Even he didn't see that coming. Why didn't you ask for my help, Draco? Why do you think you must go through this alone?"

Draco rolled his eyes and tried to conceal the fact that he was touched by Severus' worry with him. "I went through the same thing with Hermione, so don't make me repeat myself. This is my problem. My mess. My parents are my burden. I need to learn how to handle them by myself. I'm not a child anymore."

"Still, you should have confided in me to…"

"No!" Draco interrupted him. "You know this better than anyone else! You know the feeling! Although you want to rely on people, and let them ease your pain, you know it isn't right to them. Or to yourself! Besides, you don't want to look like a coward. You want to prove to yourself that you can handle your own bloody life. Wasn't that what you taught me once? That I should be able to take care of myself? I'm trying to do that. Besides, I didn't have the courage to say anything to Harry. I admit that it was about my pride at first. Well, it's still about my pride. But… he said he was making progress. If I'd told him about Johnson, he would have come back for me. I know he would have. I didn't want to ruin his chance to heal himself, so I lied."

Draco sighed heavily, and then sat down on an armchair close to the bed where Severus was seated. "I also don't feel like playing the part of the damsel in distress. I can take care of myself. If I keep depending on Harry for everything… where will that leave me? I don't want to depend on him so much. It isn't healthy. I just want to love him. I want us to be together on equal terms."

"You still feel inferior to him," Severus said sharply, hitting the target right on the mark.

Draco glared at him. "Maybe. So what? I'm trying to change that. I'm trying…"

"This is really foolish, Draco, but I understand," said Severus softly, taking Draco by surprise. "You have to understand, though, that if you keep thinking along those lines, it'll affect your relationship with Harry in a very negative way. You're still competing with him. And if you don't realise that soon enough and try to change your silly juvenile behaviour, your love life will be a living hell. Love isn't about competition, Draco. It's about trust and sharing your fears with the one you love. It's about not being afraid of letting the person next to you pick you up when you fall down."

"You talk as if you're the personification of true love," Draco pointed out with a sneer. "Whoever hears you might think you actually mean it, Severus! Do you even know what you're saying? Your relationship with Black is all about distrust!"

"Exactly! See my point here? Do you want to repeat my mistakes? Do you want to live with Harry the same life that I live with Sirius? You're still young. There's still time for you to open your eyes and learn from your mistakes!" Severus exclaimed impatiently. He was being too out of character, so he was beginning to feel restless. "Besides, Sirius and I have far more reasons to hate one another than you and Harry."

"Okay! I get it! But this doesn't change the fact that I think I was right by not telling Harry about what happened!"

"It's your life, Draco. Do as you please with it. But just remember one thing. If your pride or fears ever surpass your love, you'll lose him. Learn how to let him take care of you. You don't need to play the part of the damsel in distress," said Severus with a face, "but it's ok to let him hold you once in a while and keep your fears at bay. He'll have his moments, too. Wouldn't you like to be there for him when he needs you?"

Draco gulped and looked away. He remembered how good it felt to hold Harry in his arms after his breakdown in Severus' mansion, and he understood what Severus meant.

"Yes," Draco answered in a feeble voice. "I want to be there for him when he needs me. And I don't want him to think that this makes him inferior to me. I want him to trust me completely."

"See what I mean? If you want those things, you'll have to let yourself open to him as well."

Draco threw a half-smile at him. "You're full of surprises, aren't you? Why don't you apply the things you say to me to your own love life?"

Severus grimaced. "Because, like I said, I'm too damn old to change my habits. And so is Sirius. We have all of our idiosyncrasies shaped by years of distrust and hatred… We're both moody and cynical. All we can do is try our best not to get on each other's nerves… much. We're one of those hopeless cases. We can't live without each other, and we can't live with each other. It's damn stressful… I'm actually glad he went with the brat and gave me some space to breath."

"You're only saying this to trick your heart. I do the same all the time. In truth you miss him deeply, don't you?" Draco asked.

"Do I?" Severus snorted. "Why would I miss that idiotic horny dog?"

Draco chuckled. "Oh, you so miss him."

Severus shrugged. "I miss the sex."

"I bet you miss the fights," Draco mocked.

Severus tried to conceal his smile, but he couldn't. "Perhaps, Draco. Perhaps."

"Did he get in touch with you after that day?" Draco asked a little bit anxiously.

"No. And I wasn't expecting him to. I'm not the sentimental type. I can endure a few months without Sirius. Like I said, I did need some space."

Draco knew he was lying, but he didn't push it.

"And how are you hanging on without Potter?" Severus asked.

Draco sighed gloomily. He didn't feel like lying. There was no purpose. His emotions were written all over his face anyway. "I'm okay, I guess. I do miss him. A lot."

"You aren't going to cry, are you?" Severus asked with a frown.

"No!" Draco denied, outraged. "But I allow myself to drink into oblivion every once in while."

Severus seemed interested in that. "Really? Mind if I join you tonight?"

Draco smiled mischievously. "Not at all. As long as you bring your own Scotch."

"Very well. Just don't come crying for a taste of heaven when I open my bottle of the best Scotch in the world," Severus returned with a smirk.

----------------------------------

Draco awoke with a terrible hangover. He and Severus had gone a little overboard in their drinking the previous night. At least it was funny. It wasn't every day that one could enjoy the company of a drunken Severus Snape. But right before he passed out, he wondered if he wasn't turning into Harry with the disgusting habit of smashing himself to sleep almost every night.

He got up from the bed with a grimace. The world around him seemed to be having a hard time remaining still. He wobbled towards the bathroom with his wand in his hand as if to cast the anti-hangover spell on himself. Feeling light-headed after the yellow ray of light showered him, he filled the bathtub with tepid water and jumped in. He tapped the water gently with the tip of his wand to make it bubble and sighed in bliss as he felt the water massaging his muscles.

When he found himself to be presentable, he descended the stairs to meet Severus in the kitchen with the Daily Prophet open in front of him. Severus barely took notice of Draco as the blonde poured himself some fresh coffee. Draco took a seat across him and drank his coffee silently. Finally, Severus put the wizarding newspaper aside and stared at Draco with thinned eyes.

"Did you sleep well?" Severus asked.

"I guess so," said Draco with a shrug.

"Hangover?"

"Got rid of it already," he informed him, taking a sip of his coffee.

Severus nodded slightly. Draco didn't like the way his Godfather was watching him so intently.

"You got rid of the headache, but not the bad mood that comes along with it," Severus pointed out. Draco just shrugged again. So what if he was in a bad mood? His life was falling apart. There was no way he could be feeling any better.

"I've noticed too many empty bottles laying around," Severus remarked.

Oh, so that was where their conversation was heading. Draco sighed, for he was sure that Severus would lecture him next. He wasn't wrong.

"You first came to this house to look after Potter and his drinking problem," said Severus. "Now he's gone, and you took his place. Are you waiting for him to save you, Draco?"

Draco smiled wryly. "Perhaps I am. Wasn't it you who told me to stop acting so defensive and let people take care of me?"

"I didn't mean to make you a pathetic excuse of a human being."

"I'm not pathetic," said Draco dryly. "And spare me the sermon. I'm of age and responsible for my own actions. If I want to drink myself to sleep I will."

"And become an alcoholic?"

Draco sighed, irritated. "Of course not! Some bottles have been laying around forever! They aren't mine. They were Harry's!" He banged his fist on the table the moment he realised what he had just said. He wasn't just behaving like Harry. He was sounding like him as well with such a lame excuse. "All right. You're right. I'm pathetic. I'll change. Let's move on."

"If I knew you were this deep in depression, I wouldn't have let you drink yesterday," said Severus with a serious face.

"Would you stop?" Draco asked, his face slightly red from anger. "I'm not depressed, for Merlin's sake!"

"Aren't you?" Severus grimaced.

"No! I'm certainly not depressed! I am, however, very pissed off!" Draco stood up abruptly and took his empty cup to the sink as to have an excuse to avoid Severus' sharp look. He placed his hands on the balcony and licked his lips. Then he exploded. "Haven't I the right to be mad? My life was finally on track, and then this whole mess happened! Harry, Mother, threatening letters, Smear, Bellatrix, Father… My career is holding on by a thread! Should I be smiling? Tell me how and I will!"

He turned to stare at Severus and found his Godfather deep in thought.

"I can't tell you how. I never knew myself," said Severus bitterly. "I really didn't mean to lecture you. I'm just checking your nerves."

"My nerves?"

Severus looked at him, and Draco liked that look even less. Something about that look sent chills down his spine. Draco felt like he was being struck by lightning. Of course, Severus wouldn't bother to lecture him. He had done it on very few occasions, and usually to prepare Draco for something worse.

"What?" Draco asked, afraid of what was to come. Draco's eyes fell upon the Prophet on the table. Severus picked it up and folded it as to conceal whatever it was written there. "What?" Draco insisted.

"Do you want the good or the bad news first?"

Draco swallowed hard. His mouth had suddenly become very dry.

"The good one," he answered.

"Well, the good news is that Bellatrix Lestrange and Johnson Smear were found dead last night," Severus informed him. "Avada Kedrava. Smear's body shows signs of torture. Bellatrix looked like an angel. I suppose this is your father's doing. Narcissa must have asked him to spare her sister from feeling any pain. Smear wasn't so lucky." Severus sneered. "There are no suspects yet. My personal opinion is that there will never be any. The Ministry won't bother to investigate the murder of a former Death Eater."

"Why wasn't I informed of this? I must call Hermione at once," he said to himself, lost in his own thoughts. He was about to leave the kitchen when Severus' voice stopped him.

"The bad news first, Draco. And be ready," he warned, his throaty voice cutting Draco like a knife.

Draco felt his hands tremble. He clenched his fists and thinned his lips. Then he expected the blow. Severus threw the Prophet open on the table and waited for Draco's reaction to the article entitled 'DRACO MALFOY: DEATH EATER AND MALE PROSTITUTE'.

Draco felt his insides turning. He leaned on the table and forced himself to read the entire article. Every word seemed like a sword ripping him apart. It was quite a tale of sex and drugs. An elaborated lie about Draco's life after the war was over, signed by Charles Hagen, the same man who had already tried to disgrace Draco in a previous article. At least Smear wasn't mentioned. If he were, Draco could almost envision Jonah all over him, accusing him of murdering Smear because of a personal vendetta. On second thought, Jonah would probably accuse him of such an act anyway. After all, it was Smear who had told him about Draco's past as a male prostitute.

Draco hid his face behind his hands and breathed hard. None of those side-stories detailed in the article were true, but the main fact was. Draco had slept with men for money a few times. He had prostituted himself for fear of his ex-boyfriend's violence. Besides, the damage was done. No matter how hard he tried to deny those accusations, there would always be people to believe in them and look down on him. He would also lose his job for sure now. Even Hermione wouldn't be able to help him this time.

He took a deep breath to calm himself down. He bet Severus was expecting him to throw a fit, but he wouldn't.

"Draco?" Severus called him softly. Draco despised him. Wasn't Severus supposed to treat him harshly as to prevent him from falling apart? Draco didn't want pity. He loathed that emotion.

And then, out of nowhere, a fit of laughter escaped from his lips. He laughed so hard that salty tears rolled down his cheeks. His face became a light pink at first, and then vivid red as he became out of breath. If Severus hadn't slapped him hard on the face, he would have choked.

When the fit was over, his body began to shake uncontrollably. He embraced himself.

"Be angry, Draco!" ordered Severus. "Shout if you want! Break everything around you! Just don't fall apart! You're stronger than this!"

Draco looked up at Severus, but his vision was all blurry. He blinked and nodded. Severus was right. He was stronger than that. He needed to pull himself together.

"Who the FUCK is Charles Hagen?" Draco shouted. "Why does he hate me so much? This is the second time he has tried to destroy me!" Draco banged his fists on the table. Severus heard the windows above them blast. He sighed. Draco's magic was totally out of control. Just in case, he let his wand at the ready.

"FUCK!" Draco buried his fingers in his hair. "I wouldn't mind if the headline was false. But it is true! The stories are a bunch of lies, but…" Draco moaned as if he were in pain. "People will read this. Harry might read this." He felt sick. "Harry will hate me… because I'll have to tell him the truth, no matter what. And he'll hate me."

Severus gripped his shoulder hard. Draco felt a tear escape from his eye.

"You have other problems to take care of at the moment, so pull yourself together fast," Severus said, hoping to sound firm. He felt deeply sorry for his Godson, but he couldn't allow Draco to lose his grip.

Draco glanced at him. There it was, the same look as before. "No… Please… Spare me," Draco muttered. "I can't take anything else right now. I need to digest this piece of crap first."

"No time, Draco. I'm sorry, but you received an owl post this morning. Someone is coming to pay you a visit."

"Who?" Draco asked.

"Your father."

"Oh, God…" He hid his face in his hands again, wondering when that looming hell would be over.

TBC…

A/N: I feel kind of evil... Poor Drake! Please, review!