Lee told himself that he just happened to be delivering papers to Doc Cottle when Kara got released. He just happened to be at the end of his shift and on his way to the bunkroom when she stepped outside of sick bay. He just happened to not be in a hurry as she took step after painful step and refused to look to anyone for help. Even though it had taken trading off the last bits of food he had been given by the pilots in order to get Birch to cover the end of his shift and he actually should have been giving a report on pilot morale to the President right now and the papers for the Doc could have easily been sent to him hours earlier simply by handing them to one of the CIC crew, Lee told himself that it was all just a coincidence.

He had only been leaning on the wall outside the bunkroom hatch for a few minutes before he saw what he had been waiting for. Chancing one more glance in at Kara, he made his way the few feet it took to get to the head. Community towel in hand, he shed his clothes and let the lukewarm water wash over him. His muscles felt like they were going to give out. The stress of not being able to watch over Kara the past few days had been killing him. His guilt was stronger than his desire to keep her safe, though, which was why he was taking a cold shower in the head instead of holding her hand as she fought through the torture of being without pain meds.

Lee had fought the urge to comfort Kara since the day she had told him she was holding out for something extraordinary. He felt responsible for what Anders had done to her. No matter what she told him, he knew that it had hurt her to find out Anders cheated on her, presumably multiple times. Lee couldn't help but think that none of this would have happened if he hadn't pushed Kara to give that bastard another chance.

He looked down at the bruises that still dotted his ribs and abdomen. The wounds from his act of revenge were just now beginning to heal. He had lost control when he found Hughes on Cloud Nine, and Lee was surprised to realize that even after two weeks, he still did not regret killing that machine.

The only real regret he had was that his body was too raw for him to do the same to Anders.

He had been purposefully avoiding the ex-pyramid captain since the day Kara had told him of the little tryst between Racetrack and Anders. The inevitable confrontation between the two alpha males in her life was looming just beyond the horizon, but Lee knew it was not yet time.

Lee turned the water off slowly, letting the last beads drip to the tile floor, before he slung a towel around his hips and stepped out into the community area.

"I should have known you had a reason for giving me an off-shift that I didn't have to beg for."

Lee looked up to see Helo leaning against one of the sinks. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

Helo rolled his eyes and chuckled. "I find it a funny coincidence that I have absolutely nothing to do on the day Kara finally gets the all-clear to return to life outside the med level. She's resting peacefully in her bunk, by the way. "

"I know. I walked her home from sickbay myself," Lee said.

"I find that hard to believe considering you haven't spoken to her in over a week."

"Okay. I walked behind her all the way from sickbay," Lee corrected.

"And then you waited outside the bunkroom until you saw me returning from my last shift," Helo added. "Kara told me she had only been the bunk room for five minutes before I showed up. I'll never know how you got that timed so well."

"I still don't know what you mean," Lee insisted even though he was smiling.

"She misses you, Apollo. You were the first person she asked about once I finally got her comfortable in that torture device we call a rack."

Lee turned his back to Helo and rested his hands against the cold countertop. He did not need to hear this. Every time someone told him that Kara asked about him or Kara missed him, he felt another piece of his resolve break away. He couldn't face the guilt of knowing he had caused her so much pain, and yet keeping himself from her was getting harder each day.

"Permission to speak freely, sir?"

Lee looked over his shoulder. "You know I'm not going to start caring now, Helo."

"Whatever fraked-up reason you have for keeping her at arms length, you need to get over it. You're hurting her."

"You're wrong. I've already hurt her."

"She doesn't care. Whatever you did to her, it's not as bad as you want to think," Helo hissed. "But you shutting her out is making it even worse."

Lee nodded even though both men knew Helo's plea was falling on deaf ears. It didn't matter how much Helo yelled at him. He thought he knew what was best for Kara. "You'll watch over her until she's back on her feet for me?"

"Of course." Helo would never say it out loud, but he actually felt honored to be the one Lee chose to watch over Kara. It was like he was entrusted with the most important object in the world to the CAG, and that object just happened to be the most beautifully fraked-up woman Helo had ever met.

"Good. Let me know if there's anything I can do."

"Besides watching over her yourself, you mean?"

Lee bit his lip to keep his anger in check and, clutching the towel to his body, left the head. Helo had said Kara was asleep in the bunkroom. Lee figured that gave him a small window in which he needed to get dressed and get the papers out of his locker that he would need for his next CIC shift. He knew if he bumped in to Kara when she was awake, he wouldn't last more than a few seconds before breaking down and begging for her to forgive him.