Hullo there. Didja miss me? Sorry it took so long to update, but I was in Disney World for Christmas Vacation. I would have updated these last two chappies there, but my dad's laptop could'nt get an internet connection.

I finnished these chapters for you though. So I hope you enjoy them!

Disclaimer: Once again, nothing is mian. Must be urin. haha. Get it? Sorry, it was a joke that Cris Rock made one time and I thought it was pretty funny.

Getting to the good stuff now, read on!

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#4: Neville and Starfish

Good old Neville Longbottom was sitting down at his usual place in the Transfigurations classroom, in the back, when he came upon an unusual sight.

In the front of the classroom Professor McGonagall had a tank; a tank full of starfish.

He had come to learn about starfish from several of his many Herbology books that he had read in the library, since he had taken particular interest in that subject.

One book that he had come across, by Ima Frek, was about their possible psychotic behavior.

The whole thing talked about certain circumstances where there was an "attack" from a group or just a single starfish.

Ima Frek had been on work release, so no one took her book seriously; and neither did Neville.

Until now, he had never seen a starfish. He thought that they looked creepy, thus understanding where Ima Frek could have gotten her idea.

"I wonder where she got all of those starfish." Hermione said as she peered over at the tank. As always, she was sitting with Harry and Ron in the bench in front of Neville.

She turned to Neville, "Do you know Neville?"

He shook his head, "No idea. Though, maybe the lake, but it would take quite a time getting that many out of there. I think the merpeople find them to be a delicacy, I've heard that the French even eat them sometimes."

Hermione and Harry cringed.

Ron just nodded, "I'm not surprised."

He was thinking of Madame Maxime. She had always creeped him out.

"Attention class!" McGonagall said as she rapt her pointer stick on her desk.

The class kept talking.

"Class, come to attention!"

They didn't silence.

"ATTENTION!"

Everyone jumped, and all was silent.

McGonagall adjusted her glasses, "Thank you. Now, today we are learning to change a starfish into carpet."

Hermione raised her hand.

"Yes, miss Granger?"

"Professor; Why transfigure starfish?"

McGonagall knew this was coming, she nodded and answered, "Ask Dumbledore, it was his crazy idea."

No one was even vaguely astonished.

Tapping her pointer stick on the board, McGonagall asked the students to take notes, and then demonstrated the proper technique.

"Swish and flick, be sure to keep a picture of carpet clear in your mind's eye. There that's right. Mr. Weasley, give it a go."

Swallowing the lump growing his throat, Ron raised his wand, swished, and flicked.

The starfish turned into a toaster.

McGonagall rolled her eyes, "How is it that you can botch a simple charm like that?"

Ron turned three shades of red.

Laughing good naturedly, Harry clapped his friend on the back. "Yeah, I've always wondered that too Ron."

"Shurrup Harry." Ron muttered as he sat back down.

After class, and thankfully no more demonstrations, Neville started to pack up his books and notes.

"Ah, Neville. Would you be a dear and put out the torches for me? I've got to go to a Professor's conference in Dumbledore's office and I wouldn't want to leave you in the dark." McGonagall said as she reached for the door handle.

Neville nodded, "Sure, professor."

She hurried out and shut the door behind her.

Neville was now alone in the cold, dank, ugly, cramped, stuffy…you get the idea, classroom.

Getting out his wand to snuff out all the torches at once, Neville heard something.

It sounded like…

"Bubbles?"

He walked to the source of the noise.

The starfish tank.

Neville leaned close to the glass, observing the suction cups of one of the starfish that was pressed against the glass.

Then he saw something that shouldn't have been.

Something else was on the underbelly of the starfish…eyes.

He jumped back with a yelp, just as all of the starfish flew out of the tank.

"GET OFF ME! GET OFF ME!" He yelled as the starfish latched onto him, he was trying to shake them off.

One of them walked up his arm, "Neign!" It said in a heavy German accent.

Neville blinked, "You…you can talk?"

"But off courrlse ve can talk. Ve arrlen't yor normal starrfishe."

"You aren't? Then…what are you?"

"Vould you lak ze long verson or de shorrlt? Kep en mind zat de long verson es en Aramaic."

As Neville was trying to ignore the many German starfish attached to his body, he decided that he would very much like the short version; for the sooner this strange encounter was over, the sooner that things would start to make sense.

"I'll take the short version please."

"Good. Zen you shall 'ear our song."

All of the starfish jumped off Neville and started to line up in two rows.

The one that was conversing with him stepped up and was going to start the first verse, if it weren't for Filch.

"Who's in here?" He asked as he peered inside the door, having noticed that the torches were still lit.

Neville was about to explain, when the German starfish answered for him.

"Ve arre."

"Who is that? Who's we?"

The starfish all pounced, attaching themselves to Filch.

"AAAAAH! AAAAAAH! AAAAAAAAAAAHH! AAAH! AAAAAAH! AAAAAAAH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH! AAAA-AAAAHH!" Filch screamed in a high-pitched voice, waving his arms about, trying to shake the starfish off.

"Yoo cannot ezcape." Said the leader, attaching himself to Filch's face.

He then started to make the strangest sucking noises, as Filch thrashed about even more wildly.

The starfish, which was on Filch's face, started to glow a light blue.

Neville could only stand there, this was one weird day.

Filch then went completely limp and fell to the floor as the starfish all detached themselves from his body.

Neville pointed to Filch, "What did you do to him?"

"Ve ate 'ees soul."

Neville shrugged, no one really cared for Filch's life.

Then he gulped, what would they do to him?

As if reading his thoughts, the lead starfish laughed.

"Doo not vory mah frrlend. Ve vill not harrlm yoo."

Neville sighed with relief.

"So, how are you talking? What made you that way? And how come you're German?"

Neville asked as he sat down at one of the desks.

"Slow down mah noo frrlend. All vill bve answerrled een time."

Neville nodded, waiting for his questions to be answered.

The starfish said nothing.

None of the other starfish said anything.

Neville blinked.

"So…"

Neville then asked a question that randomly popped into his head…somewhat due to the plot.

"What are all of you doing for Christmas?"

"Ah, vee're goeeng to Italy for Mardeegrah. Zey 'ave dee best martini."

All of the starfish nodded in perfect unison, seemingly having practiced.

Neville shrugged, he thought that was a pretty stupid reason to go to Italy, but that is ok.

"Vere arrle yoo goeeng?"

"I'm getting away from my gran and visiting my cousin over in America."

The starfish nodded.

Nothing happened.

Neville looked around expectantly.

"So, ah guess ve shall bve goeeng now. Goodbye noo frrlend."

The starfish said as they saluted him and jumped out the window, breaking the glass and landing in the lake.

Neville blinked.

"Well, they didn't have to break the window."

He said as he flicked his wand and fixed the window. Another flick and the torches were out.

Neville grabbed his stuff and headed out the door to Gryffindor tower.

Who knew that a person on work release could have a perfectly correct theory?

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Me: wasn't that lover-ly?

Neville: No. That was horrible. Poor Filch!

Me: Pssh. No one cares for Filch.

Filch: I do.

Me: Review carbon-based life forms!