Disclaimer: I do not own the Teen Titans.
Coyote – Chapter 12
Her bedroom felt so cold.
He leaned his back against the bolted door. Trying to keep me out with just a lock. Vic, you should know better.
It had taken him a week to work up the nerve to face the empty space. His eyes took in an inventory of the room, a room belonging to someone he had gotten to know better for that brief glimpse of time between that first kiss and Charlie taking her away.
Nothing is missing, he observed. All of her clothes are here. Everything she owns is in here. Her incense. Her books. Her music. All of her uniforms. Even her cloak.
That means she'll come back, doesn't it? She's got to have her cloak.
He padded over to the unmade bed and thrust his hands deep into his pockets. He remembered how he'd cradled her here, how he'd tried to make her feel safe enough to cry, how mature he'd made himself be for her sake-- how her weakness had given him such strength. Comforting you made me feel...like a man. And that can't be just some spell you put on me. It can't be. He perched on the edge of the mattress and tried to imagine her here again, in his lap, with those surprisingly warm lips latching on to his.
It has to be real, because I need that touch as much as she does.
He stared at the mirror that hung next to the bed. Mementoes clung to it, a shrine to her new chance at life. The blue silk scarf that she had earned in joining the Stair Luge Samurai. The snapshot of her and Cassie, with Raven in the dearly departed red dress. A few dried carnation petals from the fiasco they had called a first date. I thought Vic had lost it. I wonder. Did she go back to that rooftop for it?
He lingered there for many minutes, hands in his pockets. His fingers found the seashell hidden there, and he turned it over and over in his hand.
Too few things there, he thought. He removed Conner's secret picture of the two of them from his pocket and tucked it into the edge of the mirror frame. Oh, sweetie. My escape clause. My little samurai. I want to get silly with you. I want to go into one of those crazy mall photo booths and make faces at the camera with you. Or I can make faces and you can just look dignified. I don't care. He sat down once more. Every comedy team needs a straight man, anyway. Just as long as you're there.
Green fingers ran across the tangled sheets. They searched for any lingering warmth she might have left behind, but they only found the chilled empty air of the room.
If this were a spell, Vic, then why do I feel even more attached to her now that she's not here?
He clutched the tiny shell in his hand. Something she gave me. One thing out of many.
It fairly glowed in the dim light of the room.
I've done all I can do from here. No phone listings. No address on the internet. Nothing.
Nights were the toughest. Nights without her falling asleep against his shoulder during the credits of The Princess Bride or L.A. Story. Nights without him gently carrying her sleeping form to her bed. Tucking her in. Giving her one last soft peck on the cheek before slipping back to his own room, fighting the desire to just stay with her and defend her from her nightmares. That can't be just guilt, Vic. After only a few weeks, the sunset-and-a-movie ritual had rooted itself into his daily life. He couldn't remember how evenings were before that.
Honey, you're so weird. But it's a weirdness that I love. The world is so new to you. And I want to show it to you. I love the smile that you get when you discover something new. Like a little kid. Like the kid you never got to be. You were a child, but you were never just a kid. I'll be a kid with you, for a while, if you'll let me.
His cheek sought out the pillow as he buried his face into the bed. It still harbored traces of her scent. The bedclothes, soft and cool, embraced him as he cocooned himself in them.
Some day, some day I'll curl up with you like his, his brain murmured, hoping the thoughts would find their way to her. Some day I'll lay you down here and show you how much you are loved. Let you feel ...how beautiful... you are...to me...
His eyes lowered. His breathing slowed down.
How much...some...day...you ...won't be... afraid...
(break)(break)
"Do you love me?"
The familiar voice behind Beast Boy was quiet but steady. He turned to face the tiny column of midnight blue. Her face was concealed by her hood. The top of a thigh flashed warmly at him from above a boot. He crossed the floor to her.
"Yes, I do."
Two gloved hands touched the rim of the hood and pushed it back from her...red face... four eyes...
"Do you love me?" she asked again, her voice sweet between those blackened lips.
He froze. I should change, I should shift... change... but no creature came to his mind. Not again.
The blue and red fell away and became a peachy flesh color. And there was his old face looking back at him, as if in a funhouse mirror. His own blond hair, his own blue eyes, the way he would have been if it had not been for the sakutia, if it had not for the cure, that had made him what he was.
"It's just a dream. Dumbass." It had his voice, too. "You're just seeing what's going on in your mind. You saw her not long ago. You just don't remember it. The Dark Raven. She gave you this whole speech. When you got shanghaied two weeks ago. Black Rose Dude."
"Why don't I remember any of that?"
"You're blocking it. Because you don't want to remember her other half. The reason why you haven't made any real efforts to track her down. Because maybe you don't want to have to face the fact that if you love her, you love all of her, dark-side-of-the-force, four-eyes, interdimensional portal, red warts and all. Not just the pretty doe-eyed girl that lives down the hall. Do you think you can handle it when she goes all Sith Lord on you?"
"I – I—"
"Think about it Logan. Not only are you falling for Darth Rachel, you're making yourself a marked man. Painting a big target on your own ass."
"What?"
"Hello! She's, like, the most abducted superheroine on the planet. Everybody wants to get their hands on her. Hell, if Sauron were real, he'd be hanging on the doorbell right now, thinking 'Screw the ring, I'll take her!' She's a weapon."
"She's a person!"
"Are you sure? Are you sure you want to put yourself between her and whatever psycho wants to get at her?"
"Besides Brother Blood?"
"You want a list?"
"I'm already doing that. Protecting her. The whole team is doing that. We've always done that, since she brought the team together."
"Yeah, but when she first brought the team together, she didn't tell you you'd be fighting Trigon, did she?"
"No, she didn't. But nobody made me stay after I knew. I could'a quit at any time."
"You stayed."
"I stayed. I wanted to stay. I chose to stay. I'm still choosing to stay."
"And you know what you could be letting yourself in for if you go on with this? More than just a piece of cape?"
Gar made a face at his doppelganger.
"Oh, c'mon, Logan. You know you want her. And she knows you want her."
"She hasn't said yes to that."
"She hasn't said no, either. That's gotta count for something."
"Quit rationalizing!"
"Just admit it. You'll feel better if you just admit it. You're always trying to come off as a player, so don't lie to me and tell you don't think about it."
"It kinda goes without saying, doesn't it? Sure I do. But that's not the point. She hasn't said anything, but I think she's afraid of it. And I don't wanna scare her."
"Ya think? Have you talked to her about it?"
"Well...no."
"Better bring it up, soldier. If you can't talk about it, don't you dare try to do it. She's not just anybody, you know. She's not just the girl down the hall. She'll never be just the girl down the hall. Even if she lost her powers for good and never went on a mission again, she'd never be that."
"I know. But that's why –"
"That's why you love her, isn't it?"
"Yes."
"Even if everybody just knows she's hell just waiting to happen?"
"Even if. She's good. I know she's good. I'm willing to take that chance."
"You're willing to take on the burden this will be? Loving her may be easy; living with what she is may not."
"To be honest, I've 'lived' with that for years now."
"Not like this, goofer. Not like this."
"I'm willing to take that chance."
"Why? Why bother?"
"Because—" he faltered, remembering his own internal struggles with his own powers over the years, "because I have a beast in me that I have had to fight sometimes, too. I think I can begin to understand what she faces. And how she can be good even though – even because – she has to fight what's inside her so much. She'll have to take that chance with me, too."
The blond Gar offered his hand. "Then, congratulations, Logan. It's for real."
Gar just blinked at his blond reflection.
"No need to let anyone doubt it," he continued. "And since it's for real, you can handle the rest of it."
Gar still didn't move.
"Yes, the rest of it. You're ready to handle the equally mind-blowing fact that Darth Rachel does not exist. Not the way you think she does, anyway."
"Dude. Stop confusing me while I'm talking to myself."
"Okay, okay, hold on for a replay."
The dream-Gar reformed himself into the red shadow of Raven.
"I am not who you think I am, mortal. I am the last child of Trigon. Not the one you call Raven. I have no name. She took it from me. Arjh-no-ree. She took it from me."
The blond Gar reappeared. "So, what do you make of that? Need it again? In slo-mo?"
Beast Boy scratched his face. "Still don't remember any of that. So she says she's another side of Raven. I still don't see—"
"No, you don't see. Because that's not what she said. Did it ever occur to you that something else might be going on with our girl besides a raging case of split personality? That maybe old four-eyes might be another being entirely?"
"No, no, Raven's always said that—"
"She's been wrong before. This isn't Space Trek: 2022, dumbass. This is real life. Things are never as black and white as they are in the movies. You of all people should know that. Your wheels have been turning on this one since you got away from that guy. Something else is going on, and it's something she doesn't know about. But she'll need to know about it, if she's ever going to be comfortable enough with herself to be happy."
"But if she doesn't know—"
"Find out what, or who, that Arjh-no-ree thing is. Start there. That's your first big clue. But there's onemorething you need to do, Logan. You've got to find her, first. She didn't leave voluntarily. She didn't take her music or her cloak. Even if you aren't sure if she'd leave you or not, you know she wouldn't leave them behind. And one other thing. Remember one more thing the red lady said—"
The demon loomed before him once more. "But I am really here. I am not just a vision. I came through him, through your attacker. He is of my bloodline. Her shell is no longer in that line...He will twist her mind with the same drug that crippled his, until fear is all she can see—"
"Bloodline?" Beast Boy shivered. He was starting to see the light.
Blond Gar took the demon's place. "Yup. Besides Trigon, how many male relatives of hers do you know? That would also know about Compound 27? You know what that means, don't you, Logan, old buddy, old pal?"
"Oh...no..."
"You're thinking what I'm thinking, babaloo. Now, Logan, grow a pair and go rescue your lady. Time to bring her home."
Garfield's eyes jerked open.
Oh, God.
Black Rose.
Charlie. It's Charlie.
Oh, God.(break)(break)
"You need some air," Charlie said. Gentle hands led her to the ledge outside the cave.
Her legs collapsed beneath her as her face encountered the harsh sunlight. Kneeling in the dust, she lost awareness of where she was. Her eyes were still full of that hideous visage painted on the rocky wall in the cave. Her fingers clutched at the roots of her hair as she shook her head at the ground.
An arm encircled her shoulders. She felt so small in its grasp.
"Dawn Child, oh, Dawn Child," he said gently. "I can help you. This is what I do. I know you've been hurt, terribly hurt. You need to tell someone, talk it out. If you will only trust me, I will listen."
She didn't resist the comforting touch, but she remained silent. How can I tell you, Charles? How can I tell the story without you thinking I am insane?
"Please, no," she finally replied. The cracks in her normally calm demeanor showed through her words. "No, not...not now."
"All right, all right. Perhaps when you feel safe, perhaps then you will trust me. You don't have to tell me anything just now."
He pulled at her hands. "Come, little sister. We are done for the day. We'll set up our camp next to the Jeep. We can finish this tomorrow."
(break)(break)
A/N:
I'm assuming most people know about Sith Lords from Star Wars. (Disclaimer: I don't own any Star Wars characters or concepts.)
If you are not a "Lord of the Rings" fan: Sauron was the dark lord of Mordor who was trying to rule the world. He was trying to retrieve a magic ring that would allow him to complete his quest for power (big trilogy in a tiny nutshell). (Disclaimer: I don't own any LOTR concepts, either.)