Disclaimer: I do not own the Teen Titans.
Coyote – Chapter 19
The campsite was completely derailed. It reeked of scorn and worry, but not of death or blood. Charlie has come and gone, she concluded. And with—but no, that is just my wishing for him. Some wild animal has destroyed our equipment.
She gathered the intact pieces – a pocketknife, a flint firestarter, a canteen – and glided down to the mouth of the cave, where she had lain the still body of Thunder Horse. Heavens! He must think it attacked me as well! I must remain here until he returns And I cannot take this man back to the house, and I dare not leave him alone.
Day was melting into evening. She collected the remnants of wooden crates in the cave and started a fire, the way she had seen Charlie do it the night before, remembering the way she had done it many years before, when she had saved – but no, that memory did not bear thinking about. After a few false starts, firelight soon reflected off the rocky wall, and smoke laced the musty air in the cave. Dancing glyphs mocked her with their hidden meanings. Moisture from the stones seeped up her back as she scanned the unconscious form before her: a shadow of a man. She hugged her knees in a vain attempt to get warm.
It all fits together, she thought. The picture frame sighing about guilt. A grandfather we thought was dead. A grandfather like me. And the shadow that he became, because of Compound 27. Because of Charles.
A dagger pricked her heart; she wasn't certain of how she should feel. Terror, mixed with pity and sorrow, made her nauseous. Terror because the shadow that had been looming over her shoulder for weeks had solidified at last; pity because she, too, had fallen into a similar hell; sorrow because the family she had finally found was destroying itself. Her cousin had created the monster in her grandfather as surely as she had created the endless hate for her within Wallace.
Oh, Wallace. I have tried so hard to keep you out of my mind. She bit her lip until blood oozed between her teeth. She pressed her fingers into her breastbone, trying to dig out the sharp pang biting her there. All my doing. All that pain that I have caused us both over all these years. I regret it, regret what I did to you, forcing you to love me. I don't regret why I did it, just how. If only I had taken time to find some other way, neither of us would have suffered the way we have.
(break)(break)
Bart pulled on the last glove and secured it by punching that palm with his other fist.
Well, that could've gone better. Wally won't talk about her at all.
The face mask was snug against the bridge of his nose as he fastened it around his flyaway hair. One more adjustment of his boots was needed before embarking on his little field trip. He reviewed the process again.
Wally's gonna kill me if he finds out I used the cosmic treadmill for this. But I gotta know what happened between them. What really happened. I just hope I'm able to get this up to speed alone.
One foot on the cosmic treadmill began the system warmup. The other foot committed him. He punched in the coordinates that he'd had to guess at from logs kept by Nightwing – logs of exactly when his version of the Titans got off the ground.
Might be a few days early or late, but I've got time to kill. And gotta set the place – our tower didn't exist then – let's go to Blue Valley –
Step, step, step, step, faster, faster, faster, his feet a crimson blur beneath him, and then the world a blur around him . . .
(break)(break)
Raven touched her injured lip.
I never could tell you the truth. I had to let you believe that my desperation overrode my principles. In reality, the betrayal of someone you loved had left you in despair. I had to give you hope, I had to let you believe you loved me so that you would have the will to live. But I could not tell you that, or the hope would have been gone. So I let you believe it was to get you on my team. I had to let you believe what you believed, because the truth would have destroyed you. And I could not let that happen.
She rocked back and forth, guarding that still, still form. I couldn't tell you . . . I couldn't tell you that I really did love you. Whenever I turned away from you, every cell of my body cried out for you, screamed out for me to stay. When I walked away and told you to go back to Blue Valley, inside I wanted nothing more than to curl up next to you and breathe you in. To just bury my face in your arms and let you love me.
And when I was finally free, it was too late. Too late to repair the rift between us. Too much steel in our words to overcome. Too late for loving.
Hard and heavy beat her pulse; she clutched her chest as she felt the pain of the memory.
You were the first person to ever really care for me. Even if I did trick you into it. You were the first person to love me. When I had nowhere else to go, you took my hand and showed me this world. At least, you tried. And when you left the team, I fell apart. I lost my strength. I went from having almost nothing to having less than nothing.
What I did burned both ways, did it not?
I did it because – because I loved you first. I did it because your life was too precious to lose.
I couldn't let you die. The same way my cousin couldn't let Grandfather die.
She covered her eyes with a shaking hand.
And look at what we've done.
(break)(break)
One crimson-and-gold streak was followed by a somewhat smaller crimson-and-gold blur.
Angry, he's so angry. He just ran out of his room, ranting about some cheating girlfriend or other. Who's Nathalia?
They were racing across the planet; Bart was barely able to keep up. But no call from Robin yet. At least, their Robin, not ours. Maybe I went back too far.
Zipping, blurring, stone, water, grass, asphalt, zipping, blurring – if he is saying anything, I can't hear it. But I can't get any closer to him. Can't let him see me.
The two colors racing ahead of him vibrated to a stop and formed a younger version of his cousin. Bart stopped too, ducking behind a rock to avoid being seen.
Where are we?
Bitter cold wind whipped through a uniform not designed for the elements, at least not elements like these. Snow poured from the gray-black sky above and mounded around his feet. A few feet beyond Wally was not more rock but more gray-black sky. He was shivering so hard that he was afraid his cousin would hear the rattling of his teeth. He definitely could not hear what Wally was moaning to himself about, but the misery on his face was louder than the wind.
The older speedster's knees gave out beneath him, and he was falling backwards into the deepening white.
Wally, he thought, get up! You'll –but of course he doesn't die. This is the past. But what –
It took everything Bart had to stay put and watch. His fingers were going numb. Wally's body convulsed with shivers as the white built up around him and on him. His skin –Oh, God, his skin, he's freezing – how did he –
A lone gray figure appeared over the lip of the outcropping, one wrapped in layers so thick that no face could be seen. Gray shone in the white. The stranger struggled through the snow to the icing, dying man and knelt down beside him. Gloved hands swept snow off Wally's chest. The howling wind whipped strands of long ebony hair around the now-visible face –
Bart gasped into the wind.
It's her.
(break)(break)
I cannot change the past, my beloved friend. And I would not exchange freedom from this pain for your life. I would rather you hate me, and live.
She wiped at the drying blood on her lip where she had bitten herself. But I will not weep for you any more. You have found your love, your Linda, and I am happy for it. Happy for you.
A twitch moved the corner of her lips into a half-smile. And I, I have found my love too. And it is real, not a trick, even to save a life. It has to be real. Even if we're separated now by those who cannot forget you.
If only we could have peace between us. If only I could tell you the truth. But I cannot. I cannot fix us.
She knelt beside the man she called Grandfather, a man buried beneath icy layers of fear. Slender fingers touched his breastbone through his shirt. Maybe I can heal this instead. Maybe I can heal something. My empathic soul calls out to you, Grandfather. I cannot let you die, not like this.
I just found you.
She moved her hand to his head and laid her head on his chest. A soft thump-thump met her ear. Maybe I can turn this curse from Sebastian into a blessing for him. He is unconscious, but maybe I can still speak to his soul. I can enter his dreams. I can eat his fear.
And if this fails, and he dies, he could take me with him. If I fail – forgive me, Garfield.
The rhythmic breathing that induced her trances was already taking over, of its own volition.
Take the next step. Shut the world out except for my breath and his heart. But first, beloved, know I love thee. I reach for life, for love, I reach for thee. Forgive me. I had to try, here, where the chase began.
Thump-thump.
Inhale.
Thump-thump. Thump-thump.
Exhale.
A song of breath and pumping blood rang in her ears. Grandfather, now I reach for you. You searched me out. Now I am here. Let me speak to your soul. Let me in.
A familiar pressure pushed against her mind as she dove into his. The emptiness of his unconscious brain surrounded her and lapped over her like dark water.
Thump-thump.
Inhale.
She dove in and felt the pressure increase as she sank deeper and deeper into his mind.
Cold in here, so cold.
Thump-Thump. Thump-Thump. Thump-Thump.
Exhale.
(break)(break)
Two soundless voices echoed in Beast Boy's head.
Arjh-no-ree.
But first, beloved, know I love thee.
Arjh-no-ree. Tell her.
I reach for life, for love, I reach for thee.
"Raven?" he asked aloud, startling those around him at the ranger station. A green fist tightened around the tiny seashell hiding in his palm. He closed his eyes and thought as loudly as he could while he spoke to her. "Raven, where are you?"
Forgive me. I had to try. Here, where the chase began.
"No, no, no, no," he screamed while he rushed out the door. He felt the message. The door rattled shut behind him. It was a beacon. I felt that. I didn't imagine that.
Where the chase began?
I know where she is.
(break)(break)
A/N:
I have mentioned in previous chapters the soap opera between our favorite empath and Wally. Wally is now married to reporter Linda Park. They just had twins!
The events that Kid Flash/Bart witnesses are detailed in "Legends of the DC Universe" #18, "Conflicting Emotions", written by Marv Wolfman. It was published in July, 1999. It is a sad little story. If you have already read that issue, then you know what he saw. If you haven't – well, you'll find out. Eventually. Nathalia was Wally's girlfriend at the time. Basically, she got upset with him because he was never there (she didn't know he was Kid Flash) and started dating his best friend behind his back.
Raven told Wally to go back to Blue Valley and forget she ever existed in TT #29 (Wolfman era). He told her he loved her, and she reminded him that she could not love him back.
The Cosmic Treadmill is this neat device that the Flash family uses to travel in time. It really does look like a treadmill. The user has to run fast enough on it to get it going. Bart has used it before, but he always had to have help on it from another member of the Flash family.