Disclaimer: I do not own the Teen Titans.
A beautiful illustration for this chapter was done by SparkyX over on deviantArt. The link to it is in my profile. Please go take a look!
Coyote – Chapter 21
Bart shook his head as he slowed the treadmill to a stop at a point just moments after he had left.
I can't believe it. I just can't believe it. I can't believe what I just saw ...
Boy, she looked different back then. She looked so weird with long hair.
He stepped down off the treadmill and stared at it. She erased his memory of the whole thing. Should I tell Wally what really happened? Would it make a difference?
Would it break the spell?
Should it break the spell?
I don't know what to do now. I know the facts.
I just don't know what to do with them.
(break)(break)
Charlie drove them back to the ranch in silence. Gar held Raven next to him in the back seat; exhaustion rolled off her like sweat. She fell asleep with her cheek resting against his shoulder during the long, long drive. He was trying to hold the boiling anger in him down to a low-grade annoyance. Anger would not help her current condition.
The older man showed Gar the way to her room; the green one managed to carry her to the bed without waking her. He lowered her to the mattress as Charlie watched from the door.
He walked back to Charlie and said, "We'll talk about all this in the morning." He began to close the door.
"I think you should--"
Charlie started to follow him, but Gar firmly pushed his shoulder out of the room.
"You're not separating us. Not tonight."
Charlie returned his determined gaze. The growling steel in the young man's voice was meant to tell him that this was one argument that he just wasn't going to win.
"All right. All right," he replied, backing down the hallway into the darkness.
(break)(break)
Gar closed the world away from them when he shut the door. He stripped off his jacket as he crossed the room to the little bed where she was already wrapped in a deep sleep.
Good, he thought. Rest is what she needs. We can talk about this whole deal later. He draped the jacket across the back of a chair. If I think about it now, I'll just wake her up.
He wrapped his fingers around her ankle and eased one foot out of a boot, then the other. He rested his palm against the crook between her foot and her shin and stroked her ankle with the gentlest of touches. She settled more snugly into the bed. He smiled at her; he smiled for the first time in weeks. He stepped out of his own shoes and tiptoed around her, wincing every time the ancient floor creaked. He made sure she was still asleep before he began pulling off his jeans and the costume underneath that felt more like a second skin. The thin sheen of sweat on his shoulders and thighs nearly inhaled the cool air of the room.
Once freed of his uniform, he slipped back into his jeans and flicked off the lone lamp in the room. The only light left was that of the half moon falling through the window. Tugging the quilt at the foot of the bed over them both, he crawled in beside her. He pulled her close to him; her back nestled into his chest, and his legs curled into hers. She stirred in the movement of his arms.
"Shhhh..." he whispered. "Sleep. I'm taking care of you tonight."
Think sleepy thoughts, he told himself. Help her to rest. His nose nuzzled against the lobe of her ear. The worn softness of the quilt and the coarse texture of her blouse cradled his bare chest as he breathed in her scent. Instead of mingling with rosemary this time, it mixed with smoke and fading fear. But still it surrounded him and warmed him. Moonlight washed over her; white light and shadows winked at him from her face. Her back and legs relaxed as she grunted contentedly. He smiled again. I'm not sure what she's gonna say in the morning about the sleeping arrangements, but the bed is too small for her to not wake up with yours truly wrapped around her.
Quiet sounds of the night hummed in the corners of the aging house and trickled into his ears: the tic-toc-tic-toc of a clock, the click of the refrigerator compressor, the neighing of the horses in the stable, the sleepy beat of her heart. Weary eyelids lowered as the rhythm of the darkness lulled him to sleep.
I know this is real, Vic. I know it. This feels right.
They won't separate us, Raven. Not now. Not again. Not ever.
(break)(break)
I must be dreaming again.
Gentle breath on the back of her neck stirred her from a deep sleep. That familiar tangy sweet and sour flavor mixed with a strong waft of wet fur invaded her senses. A glowing warmth enveloped her in that drowsy place between waking and sleeping. Pre-dawn light filtered in through the window and tickled her eyelashes. The warm and slightly snoring lump holding her told her that this was no dream.
She licked her lips. A taste of honey. Oh, my, what is he dreaming of? Even though he was pressed against her, his dreams remained locked in his head. That curious flavor was intimately and permanently tied to their first deep revealing kiss, and she enjoyed feeling it once more. How long ago was that? It felt like a lifetime ago.
It's time to rediscover that taste for real. Her hand flew to her mouth to stifle the giggle bubbling out of that naughty thought.
But I shouldn't be here. Not like this. A furrow plowed across her forehead at that thought. That's your teachers talking, there, not you, she snapped at herself. You are doing no wrong. Just be here. Just feel his warmth. Just feel it. He found you. He stayed with you
You know you want his heat, that aggressive part of her nature purred into her mind. You fear it -- fear that deep, deep touch -- but that's your mother's fear. Not yours. It protected you before -- like from that creep Forrester. This man is no creep. So get over it.
Memories of the night before chased each other around her skull. The terror of the Black Rose. The sacrifice of Thunder Horse. The force that demolished his wall.
It is real.
Slowly, carefully, she rolled her body over to face him. His face, half-buried in their shared pillow, twitched at the movement. She allowed her eyes to drift over that face, over those bare shoulders -- ooooh, Azar, those shoulders -- and sighed with deep contentment. She inched her face even closer to his and breathed in his scent, even stronger now for his time searching for her in the heat. How peaceful this is. I never knew how...soothing... this would be. I never knew. I never knew. For once in my life, I have not awakened alone.
(break)(break)
The tower sounded strange to Beast Boy this morning. Tic-toc-tic-toc, soft whinnies – Since when did we keep horses on the island?
One heavy eyelid struggled open and looked straight into a violet ocean. His muscles jerked in unison. Oh. I'm not on the island.
The ocean receded and resolved into two glittering eyes.
"Good morning, Garfield," they said in a husky whisper.
He closed the one eye, rubbed it, then opened them both. "Uh, mornin' darlin', I, um, I ..."
"Did you sleep well?"
They were speaking in those soft, nervous whispers that people speak in when they are terrified of being overheard. Their words were barely audible.
He grunted. "Like the dead. You? Did you sleep okay after all that--"
"Very well. Very well indeed. Because I am so overjoyed to see you." She paused for a few deep breaths. "And because it is the first time I have had...company...while I've slept."
"Look, I'm sorry, I just couldn't – couldn't leave you – God, how I missed you --"
"Shhhh .. . " she began as her fingertips rested on his chin. "I rather enjoyed waking up with – with you holding me. It made me feel – it was wonderful. Especially since we have been apart for so long." Every few syllables, her voice faded out completely, as if the screams from the night before were still tearing holes in her larynx.
"So . . .uh . . . we just . . . uh--"
"Slept together? Only in the most literal sense, beloved. We are still dressed." She stroked his bare shoulder with the back of her hand. Her touch was so light that he barely felt it. "Well, mostly dressed."
"And dangerously close," he replied with a wink. "Which means, I guess, there's something we really need to talk about. I guess this is as good a time as any." He cleared his throat and pursed his lips.
"Yes?"
"Uh-huh." He cleared his throat again and scratched his ear. Her eyes look so innocent. "Yeah. Uh. Us. And. Sex. Uh. Yeah." He scratched his other ear. We don't need to talk about Cyborg. Not Thunder Horse. Not the BRU. Us.
She closed her eyes. The smallest finger of the hand against his chest began to tremble. "That is a very difficult...topic...for me."
He let his index finger trace the knuckles on her nervous digit as he tried to still its shaking. "Yeah, I know, but, uh, don't you think we need to talk about it? Sometime?"
Those violet eyes reappeared. "It will not be easy—"
"We're in the same boat as far as that goes, I think. I guess I can, uh, tell my, uh, story first? Would that make it easier?"
"It would. Just tell me what you are thinking. I need to hear the words."
"Okay. Okay. I think it's something we really need to talk about. Given who we both are, y'know, we need to be more careful than most people. You think?"
Raven nodded.
"But I know that I—I know I want to be with you. That way. In the worst way." The confession poured out of him, one word tripping over another. He laughed with a nervous twitch. "I think I'm running up the tower's water bill with all the cold showers I'm taking lately."
"Cold showers?" She shook her head, reaching to the back of her neck to release her braid. "I must confess, I am very ignorant of . . . many things. I have read about the...basics...but I am not... I suppose my teachers believed I would never use such knowledge."
He waggled his eyebrows at her. "Well, then, do I have an earful for you! Later, I mean. Until then, we need to talk about us." He paused and took a deep breath. His fingers walked through her hair and began freeing tight strands from the remnants of that braid. "A few things – uh – worry me about it. First, there's what I've got. What I carry. The sakutia."
"Your parents cured you, yes? That cure gave you your powers."
"They cured me, sure. But I still carry it. I know I can't give it to anyone by kissing them, but Dad didn't have time to figure out if I could transmit it in...in that way."
"He was probably relieved that you survived it at all," she replied. She took his hand in hers and intertwined their fingers. "If it is any comfort to you, it is very possible that I would not contract it any case. Arella...my mother told me that my soul-self protects me from disease. So far, she has been correct."
"Ohhhhh...to find out," he moaned with a grin. He was trembling next to her. He swallowed before he found his voice again. "And that's another thing. My DNA...the animals. You know how they make me hear sharply, sense things..."
"I know."
"They do other things, too. They make me feel very animal things." He looked down at the quilt and studied the curves of her shape beneath it. Suddenly, the awareness of exactly how close their bodies were screamed up his spine. He looked away. "I guess I'm afraid that if I get to a certain point, I--I won't be able to stop myself. And I don't want to hurt you. Not for the world. Not for anything at all." He returned his gaze to her.
"I have never felt you this serious before."
"I've never been this serious before. Ever."
"I know you would not hurt me. I trust you. Even though I am afraid. About touch. It...it's almost instinctive. Like it's been programmed into me."
"Tell me more. Talk to me." He pulled their entangled hands closer to his chest.
She nodded. "If I can find the words. To be honest, I have always been terrified of it. Of ... the act of love. When I was growing up, they only told me enough to remind me about how I came to be. And enough for me to avoid it, even though I was not supposed to be around people. I was a product of rape, they said, and they never, ever let me forget it."
He cringed as he touched her face. "How cruel could they get?" he asked. "Were they always bringing it up?"
"Every day," she replied with a bitter edge in her shaking voice.
"Bastards. No wonder. No wonder you are so scared." He cradled her neck in his hands and pulled her forehead to his. "No wonder."
The shaking in her voice grew stronger. "And there is someone out there that wants to repeat history. Brother Blood—"
"Hey, hey, you're okay," he whispered. He held her head still against his own, their foreheads still touching. "I'm not gonna let that happen, all right? I won't let him hurt you. What Trigon did to Arella. What that psycho wants to do to you – that's not love. That's criminal. That's not love." He brushed his lips against her cheek. "This is. Talking about it is. Deciding together is. Okay?"
Several deep breaths passed through her before she answered. "Yes. You are right. I know you are. But I think – I think with you – I will be fine. I do." She paused. "But there is one other thing."
"I think I know where you're going. Babies?"
"Indeed. Blood created this shell for that purpose. Would a child of mine possess the same darkness that haunts me? I would not force what I have endured on anyone."
"Or a child of mine?" he countered. "Or of the two of us combined? Who knows what that kid would be in for from the rest of the world? Hard to tell. Another reason for us to be more careful than most people with this, I guess. Although, to tell you the truth, I'm not sure I can. Have kids. Part of my power rests in the instability of my DNA, and I'm not sure what that does to my...er...the reproductive part of me. I've never really had that checked out. You know how I hate doctors. But I can't assume one way or the other. Not with what we could have at stake."
"And I am not entirely settled in this new body that I have, either. And I am still getting to know how I feel. About everything. My personality. I feel it changing. Maybe the Compound 27. Maybe I am just really becoming me. So much I need to know about myself before I can really give myself. I need to know who I am giving to you."
"And know what you're getting yourself into. If we wait, I want it to be because it's the right thing to do – not because we're afraid of each other. So, I guess I repeat an earlier question, where do we go from here?"
She tapped her lips with her fingers. She was quiet for a long time. He could almost hear wheels turning in her brain. "A thought. We both have questions that we need answers before we proceed – proceed in that direction. Perhaps we can revisit the question of when then? When we've answered these questions? It's not a matter of no, but a matter of later?"
He sighed and propped his cheek up with his fist. "Well, I've waited a couple of decades now. I can wait a little longer."
She raised her eyebrows at him, but said nothing. Her eyes said it all.
"Don't say a word to Cyborg."
The lips he had been staring at kissed the corner of his mouth. "Your secret is safe with me. It has been for this long."
"Nothing much gets past you, does it?"
He held her head still as she began to pull away. "I trust you." His eyes stole a quick glance at the bedroom door. "Now, how 'bout some B.B. love? Just a little taste. To show you that you don't have to be afraid?"
(break)(break)
Her lips pursed tightly at the question. A deep hunger for touch rattled in the back of her mind. I can try. Try to not be afraid. With a hard swallow, she nodded, letting him roll her right shoulder back down to the bed. "You're safe," he whispered. And she could feel him thinking, safe, safe at her. His fingers lightly traced the lines on her throat.
"And no reflection this time. Don't work. This is for you."
The touch was teasing, it was so light, but still her skin drank in every contact – she felt every cell of his skin as he brushed his fingers around to the back of her head. He leaned his face closer to hers as that hand wandered away from her neck. She shivered as the side of his hand barely brushed the peak of her breast on its journey to her side; his own slight tremors answered her shivers. The shivers led to a stiffening in her limbs -- it felt so good but so unfamiliar that her mind could not process the sensation comfortably.
"So soft," he drawled, "and so warm. Close your eyes and trust me. Let yourself feel."
His smallest finger traced a line through her blouse, from her rib cage down to her hip, just inching its way as slowly as it could while still moving. His full hand rested on that hip as his mouth took in her upper lip and explored it with an eager tongue.
A half-gasp, half-moan began to rumble deep in her chest as the very heat of him began to swirl inside her brain. Her eyes blinked once, twice, and finally settled closed. This was on a whole other level than that first passionate kiss they had shared weeks ago. This was one more line crossed; not the last line, but one crossed nonetheless. One by one, her knotted muscles untied themselves with the loving of his mouth; she was melting as she merged with the crossing of that line and stopped any pretense at resistance. The taste of his honey-sweet lust transformed from startling to pleasant in a few heartbeats.
Wiry green muscles shifted as he lowered one shoulder onto hers; she felt the corner of his body pushing her down into the mattress and pressing her breast to one side through her shirt. One slender hand crept up to stroke those shoulders, those strong shoulders that made her mind whirl every time she looked at them. With a strong inhalation, she breathed in that scent that was so uniquely his, that scent that had haunted her for weeks. She felt her own breath rushing past their faces as she let it escape her lungs, and she could hear her own heart beating inside of her ears.
His hand and his mouth moved like a smooth machine: the hand slid back up her side, touching each rib through her blouse as it went, while his mouth traveled from hers down her jaw line to her throat. His hand came to rest behind her ear, and his fingers danced in strands of her hair.
My – my throat – it tickles—it – my hair – so soothing his fingers in my hair – breath on my neck – his taste – smell – don't –don't stop – so – so warm --
Almost on instinct, her head tilted back into the pillow, allowing him further access to her tender skin. As if pulled by a string, the leg opposite him curled closer to her, knee bent, toes pressing into the sheets. Eager happiness rushed from him as he felt that yielding. Safe, safe, she heard, unsure if he were saying it or thinking it. His nose traced random patterns up and down the sides of her neck; the tip of his tongue retraced the paths in a moist dotted line. His breath came in ragged spurts, and she sensed his spirit straining as he convinced himself to not stray past her collarbone.
Safe, protected, that phantom whisper said again. Trust me. The words soaked into her. No reflection. Hold on to the feeling. Feel it.
I do. The thought crawled out of her as it became more difficult to string words together. That field of green behind her eyes that glowed whenever he touched her was burning brightly now, urging her to release it. But she held it back, stopping the reflection of his feelings back at him. Never...felt...this...I do...feel...
She felt that pulling again, that pulling she had felt that first time, like strings in secret places pulling her towards him. That pulling loosened something there, made some part feel so empty, made that something call out softly to be filled with him. A gentle "ooh" eased its way out of her despite herself, and her thoughts just stopped. With gears frozen in place, those wheels just stopped turning. Language and thinking were almost beyond her reach now as he delicately nipped at the hollow of her throat. There was no internal conversation any more – just the sensation of movement and pressure.
"We're about to get noisy," he whispered. With one last flick of his lips against the meeting of her neck and her shoulder, he pulled away and rolled off of her. She felt her body scream "no" at the sudden withdrawal of the cozy heat and the protective pressure on her body.
"Like that, to begin with," he almost growled. He looked away for half a second, then looked back with an extreme tenderness that replaced the fading lust. "Rrrrruf. Except way more intense."
He wormed one arm underneath her back and pulled her to him. She pillowed her head on his chest, her eyes nearly glued open as she began to recover from that intense touch of his.
"Are you all right?"
She nodded, speechless for the moment. She could feel his wanting, his wanting to get past that blouse and to her skin; she also could feel her wanting him there even as she shivered at the thought. And she could feel him damming back the desire, saving it for later, protecting her, protecting them both. The gears in her brain began to thaw as conscious thought began to flow again. Just breathe. Just breathe, she thought. So...so... No words came. But her brain was buzzing happily to itself with that field of green still trapped there behind her eyes, like it did when she overindulged in chocolate. She ran her fingers through the lawn of hair on his chest. But I wasn't afraid –I didn't feel trapped – I thought I would -- I wasn't – I was wanting it. And wanted.
And I'm wanted.
"And loved," he added to that thought, giving her a firm squeeze around her shoulders. "And loved."
He answered her light gasp: "I can hear you if you think loud enough."
"Yes," she replied, settling her cheek into his shoulder. Her hands were shaking in the wake of that close moment. "Y-Yes, I believe you can. And...every time you...talked about your...skills... you weren't...exaggerating."
He chuckled as he gave her another squeeze and buried his lips into her hair. "I never lie about that, darlin'. When you only let yourself get to a certain point, you try to make gettin' to that point as grand as possible. For both parties."
They were both gasping for air as quietly as they could, suddenly aware again that they were not alone in the house. The distant smell of frying food mingled with his warm, soggy-canine scent. She just let herself breathe him in.
A soft knock came to the door. "Breakfast?" Karen's voice asked.
"We're on our way, Mrs. Thunder Horse," Gar called out. He rubbed the top of her shoulder. "C'mon, sweets, before they think we're doing more than just talking about it."