Chapter 20
(Kaoru)
The redhead before me was changed. His eyes were still amber, but there was a spark of life in their depths, and I could finally see the man I knew was there. He was nervous, but he was no longer the frightened shell of a man he had been, and for that I was glad. I sat quietly, waiting for him to begin the story which I had waited long to hear.
He sighed, and then began. "I was born in the Kyoto Mountains. Where I don't exactly know, but my father, Hiko Seijuurou, and I lived there until I was fifteen. I don't know my mother's real name, but her last name was Himura, which I took in order to remember her by. She died when I was four."
I wanted to say something of comfort, but I could tell by his stiff posture that this was already hard enough for him, and I knew I'd better just stay quiet and let him continue with the story of his past.
"On my fifteenth birthday I saw men in the forest. I didn't think much of them, but they would come back to haunt me. I was called back to the cabin by my father, and there he told me that something was going to happen to me. Something painful." He shuddered, wrapping his thin arms around himself at the memory. "Kami, it was pure agony. I thought I was going to die. But when I woke…" He brought a wing forward, touching his feathers lightly. "My father told me that my mother was an angel, making me a half-angel. That's why I have wings. I've always had heightened senses too, better hearing, sight, smell, so on."
He looked up at me then, and the pure sadness and pain in his golden eyes made me want to pull him close and cuddle him until all of his sorrow was gone, but I restrained myself. "It was about four months later when the men returned. They had seen my mother long ago, and had only just then gotten up the resources to come after her. But it was only me. One of them saw me, and I panicked and took flight." He closed his eyes. "Baka baka baka! I led them right to my father, and they burned the entire place to the ground, killing my father along with it. I flew from that place, and eventually fell from the sky when I grew too tired and sick from the rain that never seemed to stop falling…"
I was shocked. He had been through so much in his life, and he wasn't even to the part that I had initially wanted to know about. It became clear to me that he was going to tell me the story of his life, even though I had only wanted to know about recent times. He was putting such trust in me, it was shocking.
"I was found by an older woman named Karei. She cared for me, nursed me back to health, and soon I was able to leave. I stayed with her for about a year, and then I made a decision." He looked down to his hands, fisted in his lap. "One that I seriously regret."
"Kenshin…" I murmured quietly. "You don't have to tell me this…I can tell it's hard for you, I don't want you to feel pressured."
He shook his head. "Iie Kaoru-dono, you need to know this. I think you'll find it valuable information…"
I wanted to ask why, to ask what he thought I was going to do if I knew all about him. Did he think I was going to kick him out? I would never do that, even if I found out that he was a mass murderer. I wanted to care for this man, no matter what happened to him in his past. He was kind, and seemed just to want a place where he could belong and be safe from his nightmares.
"I went to Kyoto, and I joined in the revolution. I could hide my wings because of my magic, so I was safe that way. There I joined the Ishin Shishi, and became one of the top killers…"
My eyes widened. 'Is he…?'
He looked up at me. "I became the Hitokiri Battousai, the top shadow assassin for the Ishin. I was their most prized killer, and to lose me would have been devastating. I couldn't leave, no matter how much I wanted to. And then…" he paused. "Then I met her, Tomoe Yukishiro."
He closed his eyes, a slight smile coming to his face, the first one I'd seen on his face that day. "She was the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen in my life. She was kind and gentle, and she cared for me even though I was a ruthless assassin. She discovered my wings, and yet she still accepted me into her life, into her heart. I took her with me one day to the mountains, a few months after I first met her, and there I worked up the courage to tell her that I loved her. I even asked her to marry me, and she said yes."
I could tell something went wrong with this perfect world he was describing to me. His face grew sad, the smile melting from his face.
"I took her flying… I wanted her to know what it was like to feel the wind rushing through your hair, to see the river beneath us. But… I suddenly couldn't breathe; it was like trying to breathe in through a pillow. I passed out, and we fell in the river…" He clenched his hands into fists again. "When I woke up I was alone. I found the waterfall, and at the bottom I saw Tomoe's scarf. I jumped off, but my wings were frozen, I couldn't fly. I ended up falling on my ankle, twisting it badly. She'd been pierced with a branch… She died in my arms…"
A single tear glided down his scarred cheek, tracing the vertical slash and then falling to land on his pale hand. I reached out, putting my hand on top of his. He flinched, looking up at me with wide eyes. I moved closer to him, tangling my fingers in his and squeezing his hand gently.
He pulled in a shuddering breath and continued. "According to my leader one of the other Ishin men found me just in the city limits, unconscious and half dead. I slept for nearly 2 weeks, and then finally woke. My leader freed me; I was no longer bound to be a hitokiri. But I was still a solider, and so I fought for him until the final battle, Toba Fushimi. I left without any word, and there I completed my vow to Tomoe. I would never kill again, in her honor. My ankle was aggravated, so it was swollen again, but I managed to get far enough from the battlefield that I could safely take flight."
He frowned. "That's where the trouble started. I landed when I was far from the battlefield, and I was going to heal my ankle. But I didn't have the time; someone came out of the woods. It was Tomoe's older brother Enishi. Because of my ankle I couldn't get away, and he captured me…" He suddenly shuddered, putting his face down. His crimson bangs fell down to conceal his eyes, and I grew worried.
"Kenshin…"
"Iie, it's okay Kaoru-dono. I can do this…" he murmured. "He broke my ankle when he caught me, and then had a doctor set it. I wasn't sure for the longest time, what was going to happen to me, but when Enishi came back it became clear. He was mad, utterly mad…" He shivered, his wings automatically coming up to wrap around himself. "At first he just beat me. And then he threw me in boiling water. He thought it was funny to torture me until I screamed. When he used the poker… I almost lost my mind. The pain…"
His hand that was not wrapped in mine went up to rub the scar, as though the ache was returning to him just thinking about it. He pulled in another breath, and then spoke again, this time in a quieter voice. "He tried to kill me then I think. He grabbed my throat, and then that feeling returned." This time his hand traveled to his chest. "It was like I was being crushed, I couldn't breathe, and then everything went black."
He shook his head slightly. "I don't know how long it was. I think it was a few hours. I woke up and found that he was gone, it was dark. He didn't return for three more days. There was no food, no water, and it was nearing winter. It was so cold every night, and within the first day my magic was spent. I could no longer hide my wings. Enishi woke me by stepping on my wing, Kami-sama it hurt. Then the whip…" He shivered again, his wings tightening around his shoulders.
"I was tied up again, and then someone brought a bowl of water. It wasn't enough, but it kept me alive a bit longer. I tried not to fall asleep in the cold; I knew that it could be fatal to me. I walked around a bit to make sure that I wouldn't, but I tripped and fell, and hit my head on the stone floor. It knocked me unconscious for some time, and when Enishi came back I didn't respond to anything."
"I'd retreated into my mind, so a lot of this is fuzzy, hard to recall. But it gets clear enough. I was in Enishi's chambers, on his bed. He tied me down by my wings, and I struggled, but he hit me repeatedly…" I watched Kenshin's seemingly confident exterior crumple, and he buried his face in his hands, wrenching the one I held away from me. "Kami it hurt…I thought I was going to die right there. I'd never felt anything like it before. I fought him, but he knocked me unconscious…"
He breathed for a moment, and I could hear the resident sobs in his breath. I couldn't hold back my motherly instinct any longer, and I pulled him into my arms, putting his face in my neck. He reacted instantly, stiffening and then relaxing into my hold. I felt his tears on my skin, and he cried into my shoulder for a few minutes. After a moment he sat up, wiping them away stubbornly.
"After that I was broken. I'd lost everything in my life; I had no more will to live. I followed Enishi's orders blindly. I remember it all as though I was in a dream, like I was watching it all from above. It's unclear, but I know about a year passed. Enishi kept me on a collar and leash all the time, never taking me away from his side. I rarely got food, but there was always water, and for that I was grateful."
"And then, one day he took me to the river. That was how he made me bathe; he just tied my hands with the leash and told me to go into the water. There was still ice and snow in the water from winter, and I got hit by one of the ice chunks. It knocked me underwater, and it took me a minute to regain my senses. I wanted only to live, and I tried to make it to shore. I saw Enishi running along the bank, and then I was taken over the falls. I screamed the whole way down, and then my memory goes blank." He said no more, and I assumed that he was done.
"That must be when I found you." I said softly. He nodded his agreement, and I sighed. "Kenshin, I'm so sorry."
He looked up at me, unsure of what I meant. "Kaoru-dono?"
I frowned, looking down at my hands. "You've been through so much, and I know that you really didn't want to tell me that. And I've decided something though."
He suddenly recoiled, eyes growing hurt and sad. I blinked. He looked down then, and prepared to stand. "I understand Kaoru-dono. I'll just get my clothes and go…"
I grabbed his hands. "Iie! Don't you dare do that! Don't even think about it! I won't tolerate it!" Hisamber eyes were wide as I pulled him back down. He hit the floor with a soft thump, staring at me in confusion. "Kenshin no baka…" I chided softly. "I wasn't going to say anything of that sort. I want you to stay here. I want you to have a peaceful life, here with us. You fit right in with us, even if you don't believe it." I smiled. "We'll look after you, I promise."
I could swear I saw violet swirling into his eyes as they softened. "Arigatou Kaoru-dono. I owe you so much…" He nodded. "I will stay, if it is what you want."
I nodded with authority. "It is." I smiled, and then leaned forward, gently kissing his forehead. I heard his sharp intake of breath, but he didn't move away. "Arigatou for trusting me Kenshin." I whispered, touching his face. "I hope that you still like it here."
With that I stood, leaving him staring at me with wide violet-tinged eyes.
Okay, I gave more clues! Please try and figure out what's up with Kenshin, I want someone to figure it out! Review please, and I'll try and get the other chapter out soon!