A/N: Hello reviewers and friends, welcome to how to take over the world. Now I got a review the other day asking what was the point of How to take over the world? Let's all turn our heads and give a round of applause to, "Nightshade".
Dear Nightshade, your question is very important to me, considering taking over the world is something I've wanted to do for quite a while. You ask, what is the point. Why take over the world? Well you see Nightshade; there really is not point. You don't usually see criminals trying to take over the world. Criminals are people who have committed a crime and didn't get away with it.
Necessarily, Nightshade taking over the world is kind of impossible. To take over the world you would have to be someone like Slade. Someone very powerful, non-stoppable, and hard to catch. That's why I have devoted myself to learning how I can possibly take over the world (Not really).
Well once you have the world (which I am intending to have), what wouldn't you do with it? I mean this is YOUR world now. You control everything. You could walk through your burnt down streets and watch people kiss you toes. But really owning the world is your fun; this is what hard work did for you! Control and love your world like a dismantled teddy bear.
Nightshade, I know I probably didn't answer your questions they way you wanted them to be answered, but I tried. This story is something that I enjoy writing, and I intend to keep writing until I can take over the world. (Not really, I'll stop sooner or later) But you must be a fan of Teen Titans and know that Slade is trying to take over the world. This is just a story I made because I thought, what if Slade had a book of How to take over the world? Just lay back and enjoy it! Life is short!
Okay sorry people that took a little while, now on with my story!
Disclaimer: I do not own teen titans…or Garfield. (Don't ask)
(And if you are a telemarketer and/or know one, please DO NOT take this personally and call my house everyday. Besides it would be a waste of time, my dad likes to act like a freak and ask weird questions.)
Idea from TigerHelix…thank you! Oh beware; this chapter is a little different.
… Pretend you're sitting at home, all alone. It's dark out and there's a storm going on. The thunder and lightning are making you uneasy, but the people on the news say that the storm should end soon. You relax some and lean back in your chair. You turn off the TV and watch the fire crackle in the fireplace instead.
Sighing, you shut your eyes and listen to the rain hit the roof. Everything is calm inside, but suddenly the lights go out. You gasp and sit up in your chair. You guess the power must've gone out. No big deal, you have enough light from the fireplace. Once again you try to relax but something is making a sound down the hall.
"I wonder what that is?" You ask yourself as you stand up. It was coming from the door. Trying to be as brave as you can, you walk over to the door and listen to the sound. It was a scratching noise. You grab a shoe that was sitting next to your door.
"AHHHHH!" You scream as you open the door. No one was there.
"Ahem." Someone coughed below you. You stare down at the overweight, orange cat.
"Oh Garfield, you scared me!" You say with relief.
"Yeah well now, I'm going to invade your refrigerator and move onto the next house. I'm setting a world record to be the fattest cat. I'm so fat right now, I can't even lick my butt." The cat waddles into your kitchen.
The room falls silent again, and you try to see if the lights work. Still nothing. You sit back down in your chair and listen to the fire. The house was so dark except for the small fire in the fireplace. The silence goes on for a while until there's a ringing sound in your ears.
Your attention goes to the phone, it was ringing! But the power was out. Your hands tremble as you reach for the phone.
"H-hello?" You stammer.
"Hello, my name is Jared and I'm with your phone company. You have uniquely chosen to be apart of a system that will keep you…" A TELEMARKETER!
You scream bloody murder as the telemarketer tells you more details…
…We all know that telemarketers can be a pain. Calling you house at a random time to try to sell you something you don't need. They can tend to go on for hours to come until you start screaming that you don't want to buy any of their useless shit or you die from details invading and killing your brain.
Idea number four hundred and eighteen…
…Now for this idea, wire your phone so that it's a private name and private number, that way if they have caller ID they wont know who you are. Set up a message system so that you call (literally) twenty times a day.
Make your message long, boring, and terrible. Say, "Hello my name is Sladey. (No one will ever know who you really are with that name) I am in company with 'Sladerine's pink, fluffy, and cute bunnies'. We sell phones and for this limited time offer you can buy our phones and get long distance with free 'pink, fluffy, and cute bunny' music in the background.
"Do you call long distance and your bill goes up to almost three hundred dollars because of the music you play in the background? Well not anymore, because if you buy five of our cell phones and nine of our regular family pack phones, you can get free music in the background when you call any place long distance."
Now you can change your message but just call multiple times a day. Soon people will be begging you to stop your constant calling and they would do anything to make you stop.
Anything means demands for taking over the world. Have fun ruling the world; just remember that it was the telemarketers that gave you the idea. Respect those telemarketers and listen to what they have to sell you! Go rule the world in happiness. Kick major teen ass if necessary.
Slade's Notes: The bad thing about phones is that they have an answering machine and an 'OFF' button. Eventually people just ignored it and I got nowhere. The phone bill was so much I had to take a part time job telemarketing to people. We should use recordings more often. People can be so cruel on the phone.
A/N: Hello again, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. You probably wont hear from me because I'm leaving for NY and other far off places soon. (Monday) I once again, hope you all enjoyed this chapter. Thanks reviewers, here's my gratitude. But until I get back, happy waves!
The reply reviews are backwards, again. You might be last if you reviewed first.
Nightshade: (See above in my first A/N)
RoseInuGurrl: Hello new reviewer, thanks for reviewing. Awesome! Yeah!
TigerHelix: Oh it's okay! No problem, you don't have to review at the very first second. Yes, thank you for another great idea. I used your telemarketing idea in this one. Well also, my dad did say earlier that I should try one like this. Well thanks again for reviewing. I'll talk to you when I get back from NY!
Kkori: Is it really that funny? LOL! I hope so! Thanks for reviewing.
Spazztheslob: WHAT? YOU'RE STILL NOT BETTER? OMG! Get into bed. (Starts to panic and run around room) You shouldn't be out of bed when you are STILL sick, it's bad. Get well ASAP! Thanks for reviewing. See when I get back from NY!
Queen of the Leo's: LOL! Okay I'm a little late but Happy belated birthday. Thank you (wipes a tear from eye) I love you! I loved the chocolate though it probably went straight to my thighs. Call ya later babe.
Tim Fortune: Why yes! That is one of the most important rules. You know, it sure does come in handy when everything goes wrong, you know? Thanks, I really appreciate it when you and everyone else reviews because I noticed when I was going through my stats that I had 252 hits, but sure I know that means someone just clicked on the story, but it also means someone might have read my story and didn't bother to review. I hate that. TTYL! Thanks again for reviewing.