Chapter 18 - Jouley
Madonna
I hadn't even known i was pregnant.. Not that it would have mattered, I realize as i stare at the blood on my hands, on my thighs, on the stone floor.
The guards don't know.. at least the men don't. How could they know that the blood i've spilt isn't from their torment, but my own personal horror.
A horror all too familiar.. I'm no stranger to losing a child.. My poor baby's screams still echo in my ears when I think about the scaffold, and the accident.
I could do nothing then, just like I can do nothing now.
Nothing but weep, and pray Charlotte returns soon. It's selfish of me, I know, to expect her to still be my rock, my safe place. But she is, and I need her.
As I try to clean myself up, I wonder who the father may have been. Not one of the guards, no.. I must have been farther along than the four or five weeks we've been kept here..
I think about my last sexual partner, and the tears return to my eyes. I've lost more than just a child in this situation. Heh, what a gentle term, situation.. In this genocide..
First Brit.. then my baby.. I can't lose Charlotte.. or I, myself, will be lost.