Chapter Two:
The days were indeterminably long. Seconds dripped into minutes that seeped into hours. He knew that he was the main topic of conversation at Smallville High. After all, he was the guy who'd took off and got married in Las Vegas, he was the guy who's girlfriend, who by the way was of questionable sanity to begin with, was hung by a Smallville student who'd made himself judge and jury over the morality of this town. But nobody asked him anything, or asked him how he was. That was fine with him, it was still too raw. He didn't want to share anything and have the pain of grief ease it's grip around his heart. The devastation he'd felt when he'd found her still cut deep into his psyche and showed no signs of easing. It fooled him sometimes though; just when he thought it didn't hurt to breathe, to even smile sometimes, her face would flash into his mind. Her smile, the way she would look at him and then it would suddenly be replaced by a final everlasting memory. Her lifeless body, her death painting her in unnatural hues of grey, purple, blue. The brutality of it left him reeling, blinking back tears, and choking down his rage. He hadn't been there to save her, the one person he should've saved and he'd failed her. He couldn't ever forgive himself for that.
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He sat alone in the cafeteria, his lunch untouched. The students were keeping their distance from him and he wanted to yell at him that he wasn't contagious, what had happened to him wasn't infectious. He didn't know which was worse, the shunning or the pitying looks. Chloe saw him and he looked miserable. She went over to his table, put her tray down and slid across to sit opposite. His head came up, as if her presence had startled him. For a second they just looked at each other. Chloe wasn't entirely sure how to talk to him, did she offer him more sympathy or did she treat him as she normally would? She figured he'd had a gut full of sympathy and maybe he'd welcome a little bit of normality returning to his life.
"Are you going to eat that or stare at it all day?" she quipped. He looked at her again and he saw the little twinkle in her eye. A tiny smile ghosted across his face.
"I'm not really hungry," he admitted.
"You haven't eaten all day Clark, you need something" she reminded him gently.
"You sound like my mom"
"Good, because you should listen to her. I know you're going through a tough time right now and I sympathise…"
"Don't Chloe, right now I've had my quota of sympathy" he interrupted.
Startled she stared at him, heard the slight roughness in his voice, which he tried to temper with a slight smile but she saw his pain in all its glory right there and then. Chloe leaned towards him, lowering her voice.
"Do you really think Alicia would want to see you this way?" she queried bluntly.
"Don't…"
"But I do Clark. She's gone, you can't ever bring her back and this guilt trip that you're on right now is not helping you" It was brutal but it needed to be said. She sighed raggedly and she reached across the table and covered one hand with her own. She gave it a little squeeze.
"You're a mess Clark. You look like you haven't slept, you're not eating and you're not doing yourself any favours" he lifted his head.
"I appreciate your concern Chloe" she watched him stand up. He towered over her.
"Where are you going?" she enquired. He sighed, looked around himself as if just being here was too much for his overloaded system.
"Somewhere. Anywhere. Just not here"
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He was back in his loft, staring at the necklace in the drawer. Those tiny red rocks glowed in all their beauty. His fingers itched to touch them. He wanted to embrace the power that they released. It would just be so easy. He could pick up the necklace, wrap his palm around it and close his eyes. He could almost sense it, the heat, the rush invading his nervous system, offering instant amnesia from real life. He could enfold all that power and be a million miles away from here and his memories in a minute. The lure was strong. He reached down to pick it up.