Chapter Three

Clyde and Deirdre

HDM: IT SNOWED AND I GOT OFF!!! ::does little jig:: WHEE! Um, yeah this is where Kenny goes cwazy! Kudos to my reviewers, they make me want to do a seal dance! ::does a seal jig::

It all was a blur, the next minute I thought I was talking, err rather arguing with...myself, and suddenly this purple fuzzy creature pops in front of me. He had these black horns, black fuzz on his stomach, a long reptilian tail, and pearly canines sticking out. What captured me were his cold and scary yellow eyes. "Wha- what are you?" I sputter. He let out this wicked laugh. "The thing you've been arguing with for the past couple of weeks..." he coldly replied, "I'm you, or rather, something from your brain!" I stared in disbelief; how the fuck did I make a furry little animal with the personality of the Joker and Danny Devito?

"Hey I'm no clown!" he spat. Did he just hear my thoughts? I must have something because this is what happened when you got too high. "I'm more than just an illusion from being in happy land either." he sneered, "I'm your enlightenment. I'm the one that will help you and I'll cease your undying pain, Kenny." he said with a smile. "What's your name?" I asked it. "Clyde, and don't say 'From Bonny and Clyde' because THAT'S SO FUCKING ANNOYING YOU HAVE KNOW IDEA HOW MANY TIMES PEOPLE HAVE ASKED ME!" he ranted. I backed away from the violent little furball.

"Ahem, anyways, I have been seeing your life in your eyes and it is pretty bleak and grim." he says, while getting back his composer, "I can make all of your troubles disappear." I am very tempted at the thought but I wouldn't trust this thing with a pet rabbit let alone my 'well being' This sounds oddly like some rapist would say to a little twelve year old whore. "Prove it..." I spat, "Prove your relief ness of my sorrows as you claim." Surprisingly he didn't go off the handle like before. He just gave me this little smile. The way his eyes glint, though, they're not friendly. His eyes...are malevolence painted gold. "Alright, Kenny, if you want to play prick, sure I'll prove my 'almightiness'."

Suddenly I'm in the room of what looks like a bedroom suite. In comes this porkish man with a woman with huge tits wrapped around his arm. He smokes his Cuban cigar and orders for a bottle of the finest champagne as the woman giggles with the hint of lust and possibly cash. Clyde appears on my shoulder and just watches the man. "That man was once this pauper who didn't have a penny to his name. He was raped my men including his own brother. He didn't have anywhere to go. Then, he got rid of his problems in a flash." he whispered venomously in my ear.

"You, you gave this to him?" I sputtered out. "Yess, I gave it all to him! I opened his eyes to what the world has to offer...and what the world inhabitants are. I showed him a place where there's no suffering, where he has money and women and power! You know you want that feeling. You need it, Kenny, and I can tell in your eyes that you hunger for it." I look at the little imp; he is right, I do want the taste of freedom on my tongue. I want to embrace the luxuries others already enjoy. I want...more.

"But, there is a catch in getting what you desire." Clyde spoke, breaking my fantasy. "There always is, what is it?" I ask. Clyde snaps his claws and brings me to my parents' bedroom. They're sound asleep; it looks like from having a little fun. I hear the door creak open. From the door stands...me. I look deranged and maniacal. Clyde floats above my shoulder just whispering something in my or rather his ear. (To not to confuse myself, I'll refer to me as him...or the other Kenny as him...oh never mind...) My father awakens, "What the fuck are you doing here, boy?" he mumbles. Mother opens her eyes and just ignores him. Out come his sleeves is a long knife. The light bounces off the weapon and glints his now deadly ice blue eyes.

"KILL THEM BOTH!!!" Clyde shrieks, "REMEMBER THE TORMENT, REMEMBER THE BLOW BY BLOW THEY TOOK OUT OF YOU! SPILL THE ROTTEN FLUID OPERATING THEIR INFECTIOUS BODIES!! RID YOURSELF OF THEIR HARSH EXISTENCE!!! DO IT NOW!!" He looks at the two of them, he has no compassion in those eyes anymore. "Wait Kenny, no!" one of them shrieks. "Don't speak" he replies, "It just prolongs your fate." And on that note, he sliced through their skin and bones. The blood spewed across the room, painting the bed sheets and the walls with a sparkling scarlet hue. All I can hear is this horrible laughter. It's not Clyde who's laughing; it's me...

We come back to what appears to be South Park. I look around; I'm back in the same spot where I first encountered Clyde. I can't see or hear the little furball, must be lining up for another "Psycho Propaganda Speech". I arrive at my house and my parents are surprisingly not home drunk or high. I plop on the couch and turn on the T.V. to see just the news at six. The room got steadily colder that I can see my breath. I look to see there's not a window open.

Are you really going to listen to the furball?

What? Who- what are you?

I'm you, I heard your cries and I'm hear to make them better

You sound just like Clyde...

No no No, I don't intervene externally...

Suddenly a cold woman's voice is heard in my ear, "I help internally..."

I awoken in a cold sweat, the thoughts of that voice sends chills throughout my whole body. My heart pounds against my frail chest as I gasp for air. All I can do is replay the scene through my head. Who was that voice and why did she say 'internally'? What does she do, I wonder, that involves my organs? All of these thoughts go away as my phone rings, breaking the silence. I pick up the phone, who the hell calls me that I know?

"Hello?" I ask," Hey Kenny, it's Kyle." My heart leapt up and it feels it got lodge in my throat. "Um, you there Kenny? I called because you seemed a bit skitzy today at school and I was wondering if you wanted to join us for a game of pool tonight?" Kyle explained. No one ever invited me somewhere before. I twirled the phone cord around my finger, thinking of what I should say to him. "Um, sure I'll come..." I said calmly, holding back my excitement of such a frivolous thing. "Great! I'll come by your house around seven thirty, okay?" he exclaimed. I merely said 'that's fine' and hung up the phone.

So do you have a thing for him? hehe That's so cuute

What the fuck do you want with me, lady?

Nothing, I just want you to be happy

Uh-huh, you're like a saleswoman trying to sell me your product

Hmph! You didn't even here MY offer yet!

What do you want from me? Killing spree? Organ donor? What?

Suddenly this pixie like thing popped out of the air. Her skin was light blue to go with her dark blue hair. She wears a black and torn gown and has small silver wings wrapped up in a white material. Her eyes were a hue of silver, they appear sad. She has a rim of freckles along her nose, making her look childish. She had a smile that made you want to run and cry. She floats here, giggling in front of me, what she's giggling about I haven't a clue. My eyes narrow in on my new visitor.

"My name is Deirdre and I'm pleased to be acquainted with you, Kenny." she stated with a blasé tone. I took a double take, first Clyde the homicidal furball and Deirdre the porn star of pixie land. God I need to get a life... "Um..." I started to say, "Why are you here?" She let out a laugh. "Why, to help you!" she says with glee, "Clyde has no brains on what is best for you." I look at her; she seems too sincere. "Uh huh, what do you think is best for me?"

Suddenly, we're whisked off to another strange place. It appears to be a white garden with oddly colored flowers. Women romp naked across the fields and mockingbirds sing their hearts out into the sky. I feel like all my addictions for drugs, cigarettes, and beer suddenly evaporate from my body. This is too true, is this heaven is for the privilege? I stare at Deirdre, who's gazing at the sight as well. "Why did you bring me here?" I ask her, "Well, the afterlife is always a better view than the toilet rock you call home." she replied. This is true, the big picture is always much better.

I'm brought back to my living room. I can feel all of my addictions come back like a tractor-trailer pummeling into me. I'm killing for some Southern Comfort. Deirdre just looks at me, with the same smile. I want that place, no I need it. It looks so tempting to just grab and take hold in my fleshy hands. It's too much of a tease, I think, why can't I have it? "Do you like what you have just witness?" she asks me, reading my thoughts most likely. "Yess, I do like it very much. How do I achieve that utopia?" She smiled and whispered her answer in my ear. "Then take one too many aspirins and fall asleep...you'll wake up there in no time."

End of Chapter Three

HDM: guess what? Clyde means heard from afar and Deirdre means sad one! Isn't that uberly ironic? Okay, Um Review and tell me what you think! ::Pouts and gives puppy eyes:: I'll wuv you foervuh! (I do say forever like that when I'm pouting! ) Oh! fyi check out around Tuesday I'll post one of my drawings of sp ppl on my website (go under my name to get the homepage) and I'd like it you'd put it in the review that you'd check it out!

Advise: don't go out in a blizzard to get a popicle