Chapter 3
A/N: Yeah! Revealing the two mystery stoners this chapter!
"We're off to see the roachy..."
"The wonderful roachy of Oz."
"Oh, Heiden-roach! Where are you?"
The trio of stoned folks walked down the hall, singing and yelling, laughing and just being utterly and obnoxiously dumb.
JBL saw the trio coming and ran for his life.
Not quick enough, unfortunately.
"JBL, old buddy," Batista said, patting him on the back in a friendly manner. "What's happenin' in the 'hood, homey?"
"Batista," JBL acknowledged. He looked at the other two. "Booker T. Christian." What an unlikely trio, he thought.
"That's Captain Cha-ris-ma to you, buddy," Christian said. "Double C."
"And I'm the five-time, five-time... Hold." Booker paused to take a puff on the blunt. He exhaled the smoke in JBL's face, causing JBL to cough. "...The five-time WCW champion."
"Pass that shit, yo," Batista said, laughing. He grabbed it, puffed on it, coughed. "Want some?" he asked, holding it in front of JBL.
"I don't smoke. I'm a great American!" JBL said angrily.
"Ok, Jolly Big Loser, suit yourself," Batista said with a shrug.
"Soooo, have you seen Heiden-roach?" Christian asked.
"Heidenreich?" JBL asked.
"Heiden-roach!" Christian said impatiently.
"Roachy-roach," Booker said.
"Roachy-roach roach," Christian said.
"Roach, roach, roach, roach," Booker went on.
"Roach infi-" Christian began, as usual, but this time he was interrupted.
"Roach infinity! I win!" Batista interrupted.
"Ha!" Booker said, grinning at Christian.
Christian glared at Batista.
JBL looked at the stoned trio like they were crazy. And they were.
"So can you..."
"...answer..."
"...our question?"
"Heidenreich was in the cafeteria last time I saw him," JBL answered. "Now, is that all?"
"We know we're not well-liked around here," Christian began.
"But, despite our reputation, you helped us," Booker said.
Both Booker and Christian looked at Batista.
Batista took the hint and looked solemnly at JBL. "We would like to thank you for helping us. To you, JBL, we extend The Peace Pipe."
JBL raised his eyebrows. "The Peace Pipe?"
"We don't really have a pipe."
"Cuz pipes are for crackheads."
"And we're totally not crackheads."
"Totally not."
"What do you say, JBL?"
"I don't smoke. I'm a great American!" JBL exclaimed.
"You guys know what this means?" Booker asked sadly.
"Yeah. JBL isn't tough enough-" Christian started.
"-to take one puff," Batista finished.
"I really looked up to you."
"You were my role model."
"You've destroyed my dreams."
"You're not tough enough."
"You're a wimp."
"Is this how a great American really acts?"
"Give me that!" JBL ordered. He grabbed the blunt and took a long drag on it. Immediately, he was dizzy. "What's in this shit?"
"Chocolate syrup."
"Easter basket grass."
"All rolled up with brown paper bag."
JBL took another drag. "Awesome." They started walking. "And never question my American-ism-ivity... Is that a word?"
"Welcome to our stoner's crew..."